Giants Sweep Rockies, Make the Playoff Race Way Too Interesting

Triples hitter.

Eight wins in a row. Four games back in the Wild Card race. Three games against Arizona next weekend. This is the big one.

The Giants went for their first four-game sweep in history at Coors Field. Matt Cain took the mound and was decidedly un-Cain-like, between getting screwed behind the plate by Joe West (who else?) and giving up five runs while barely going the full five innings. Luckily, the Giants hitters went absolutely bananas. The Giants hit four home runs in an inning, including a bomb from Cain himself.

Brandon Belt started three of the four games, and homered in the three games he started. Still, Bruce Bochy couldn't help but take jabs at Belt when talking about how amazing Brett Pill looked while hitting two triples last night. I don't know why Bochy hates young position players so much, but he really, really hates them.

Today's game was nuts. Pablo Sandoval had two home runs in one inning and a stand-up triple. Brandon Crawford and Mike Fontenot jacked jimmies. Justin Christian made the craziest catch of the year, leaping into the third row to catch a foul fly ball. That's not an exaggeration. He jumped halfway over the wall and caught the ball in the third row.

Brian Wilson made his first appearance since going on the DL and struck out two before Christian's nutso catch. It was decidedly un-Wilson-like.

This team is playing like their elimination number isn't "5" and it's amazing to see. The clock's going to strike midnight soon, but not for a few more games at least. I can only imagine how much this run of games is boosting the confidence of everyone on the team not named "Carlos Beltran," who couldn't look any more devoid of emotion if he was lecturing James Kirk about cheating on the Kobayashi Maru scenario.

Day off tomorrow, then I hope to be at Dodger Stadium as Tim Lincecum tries to lead the Giants to their first-ever win against Clayton Kershaw. Let's do this.

Giants Sweep Padres, Announce 2012 Will Be Horrible

This is how hard I don't care. (Courtesy of SabeanMetrics Suparblog)

The Giants had an exciting couple of games. Matt Cain pitched amazingly on Tuesday, the bullpen blew a lead, and the Giants won on a walk-off twelfth inning hit by Mark DeRosa while Carlos Beltran plugged his ears in the dugout and sang "My Country 'Tis of Thee" at the top of his lungs. Tim Lincecum pitched amazingly on Wednesday while Carlos Beltran hit is 299th and 300th career home runs, the latter of which was a splash hit. I had a lot to say about these games and how I'm torn between really wanting Beltran to come back in 2012 but he clearly loathes every second in San Francisco.

But after today's win, the Giants announced they were cutting ties with their CEO Bill Neukom, AKA "That guy who oversaw the only World Series title ever for San Francisco." This was shocking, but was topped by the reason given for his dismissal: The owners were not happy with the way he ran the club, pointing out that he increased payroll this year and spent money too freely, when the ownership was hoping they would be building a "rainy day fund for leaner years." This is horrifying, and it basically telegraphs something the Giants fanbase never suspected. The ownership isn't concerned with continued excellence and competition and playoffs. They're concerned with grabbing as much cash as they can before the glow of the championship season wears off. It's not surprising at all when you realize the only reason that people buy and own professional sports teams is to make off with boatloads upon boatloads of cash. But it comes as a real blindside to San Francisco fans, who never suspected for one second that the ownership would turn into Peter Loria West.

Neukom didn't oversee the Zito or Rowand contracts. He was at the helm when that trophy came home to San Francisco. He did everything he reasonably could to keep the team competitive and attempt a repeat this year, and even with a team decimated by injury all season long, they've pretty much ensured every home game was a sellout for the entire season. I don't know what else he could have done. And the Giants brass wants a smaller payroll and a "rainy day fund." It's infuriating and in one fell stroke we can all see the writing on the wall. Next year will not be good. Not at all. Here are the people who are already on the 2012 payroll:

If they're wanting to cut payroll across the board for a rainy day, it doesn't look like long-term contracts for Cain and Lincecum will be a thing to look forward to. It doesn't look like the roster will be shored up in a thin free agent market during the offseason. It doesn't look like the people who own the Giants have any interest in a Giants team that competes and plays to win. It's hard to wrap my head around right now.

Giants Win Feel-Good Game of the Year, 6-2

KABOOM CARLOS BELTRAN MOTHERF***ER

If Thursday's game was a turn-the-page palate cleanser, tonight was something else entirely. Matt Cain, throwing far, FAR less than his best stuff, held the Diamondbacks to two runs through eight innings. Carlos Beltran had his first true Carlos Beltran game as a Giant, going four-for-four with a triple and a monster home run. Jeff Keppinger's Unstoppable Bat missed a home run by a foot and a half. Cody Ross followed a Matt Cain walk with a signature Cody Ross left-field-bleachers bomb late in the game, and followed that up in the top of the eighth with a spectacular diving, sliding catch.

This was a Giants big-game game like we saw constantly last September and many times earlier this year. Pat Burrell took two walks and a million pitches. The Giants were able to limit damage in tricky situations -- like a bases-loaded moment in the top of the first. The Giants pitching was the Giants pitching, and for a change the Giants offense looked like a real major league team. The Diamondbacks had a nine-game winning streak snapped and looked nothing like the juggernaut we all feared they had become in August. Tomorrow all of this could crumble and the Giants could become the Giants once again, but tonight was incandescent. Tonight was glorious. For three brilliant hours, this was the 2011 Giants living up to every lofty expectation they promised in spring training, only minus Posey, Sanchez, and Wilson and up a Keppinger and a Beltran.

If the Giants don't play another competitive game this year...hell, if the Giants don't win another game this year, this is the game I will hold on to. This was all smiles and warm-and-fuzzies and fist-pumping victory in every sense of the word. This one will keep me warm in the winter, regardless of what happens from here on out. For one electrifying night, in front of a rabid AT&T Park crowd, this was hope and celebration and realized potential. The Diamondbacks can easily take the next two, and heck, they probably will, but this was all I could have ever asked for.

Thanks, guys.

Madison Bumgarner Leads Rowand- and Tejada-less Giants to Victory

THIS IS YOUR NEW GOD

I've said it before, but Madison Bumgarner is capable of wondrous, glorious things. This is his age-21 season and everything apart from his meaningless W-L record and one historically disastrous inning indicates he's one of the very, very best pitchers in the game and only getting better.

The Giants jettisoned the steaming husks of Aaron Rowand and Michael Tejada on Thursday, and Bumgarner took the hill to end the Giants' losing skid, hold the Cubs to 2 hits and no runs in 8 innings while striking out 11 against an all-right-handed lineup. This was a phenomenal, phenomenal pitching performance. He was assisted by the unstoppable bat of Jeff Keppinger, the furious bunt assault dished out by Giants hitters, and a laughing, joking squad behind him that was playing their asses off and looking like they were having the time of their lives for the first time in a long, long, LONG time.

Perhaps Rowand and Tejada were the grumpiest old gritters that ever gamered up the clubhouse. Maybe after every loss, Tejowand would push Brandon Belt to the ground and wedgie him without remorse while taunting all of the starters. Perhaps atomic situps were involved. We'll never know. But the Giants looked loose and happy on Thursday, and as much fun as Rowand's batting stance was, we'll never have to worry about him coming in to strike out on three pitches in a key pinch-hit situation. That's great. That's so great.

The Diamondbacks arrive tonight, and the Giants have the potential to make up up to three games in the standings in one weekend. Lincecum, Cain, and Vogelsong will be pitching. The rosters have expanded and have brought with them Bret Pill, Pat Burrell, Brandon Crawford, and...miscellaneous. The offense scored four runs in their last game. Brandon Belt met a literal baby giraffe. I expect the Giants to take one of three, but they can do this. They can really, really do this. This is the true trial by fire for the G-men tonight. If they take this series, they can realistically stay in the race. If they get stomped like they did the last time the Diamondbacks were in town, that's pretty much the end.

Here we go.

Giants Don't Get No-Hit, Lose 7-5

Ump: "Hey, maybe you should learn to win, asshole."

The Giants have a terrible call go against them, Matt Cain gives up his first home run in 80+ innings, and after that, it's academic.

For the first five innings or so, it looked like the Giants were going to get no-hit at home against the noxious Mat Latos, so it's a great thing that didn't happen. The whole first half of this game was one of the Giants' patented "find new ways to lose/squander every available opportunity" games. Aaron Rowand grounding out to kill a bases-loaded situation where Latos had just walked three Giants in a row. Three massive, ridiculous Giants errors. Aaron Rowand hitting an infield popup with a runner on third and one out, which would have brought the Giants within one run. The Giants wasting leadoff runner chances. Going 0-for-10 with runners in scoring position. Aaron Rowand swinging at pitches that bounce in the other batter's box. Hmmm...I'm seeing a common theme here.

Oh yeah: Aaron Rowand started against a right-hander because Nate Schierholtz is injured. Yep. Also, Carlos Beltran was activated today, but didn't start, because he can probably only bat left-handed and refuses to bat righty-on-righty. Beltran did show up for a pinch-hit appearance with a couple of runners on, and promptly popped up to the infield.

Late in the game, the Giants scratched and clawed to tie it up, which is the most that they've looked like the first-half Giants since...well...the first half. Ramon Ramirez promptly coughed up a double, a nearly-disastrous sac bunt, a single, a wild pitch, and another single to lose the lead and the game in the top of the ninth. But the Giants were out of this game in the top of the first inning when they fell behind 1-0 and everyone in the park knew it but them. It's heartening to see that they didn't just roll over. Maybe if they hadn't had those three errors! Maybe if that blown call hadn't gone in favor of the Padres! Maybe if Miguel Tejada's pinch-hit liner in the eighth hadn't been right at the third baseman's glove! Maybe if Aaron Rowand wasn't completely worthless! Sometimes it's just bad luck I guess. It's really hard to tell when the Giants are a hard-luck team, or just a bad team. Pretty much indistinguishable at this point. The rallying cry from the Giants community is "They're bad, but they're not THIS bad." That's...that's not a good rallying cry.

The Giants fell to two games back today, because the Diamondbacks were able to snap their losing skid against an inferior team. Say, that sounds like something that the Giants should try! Whoops!

Giants Win Nailbiting Blowout, 7-5

"Mmmmm...gritty...grizzled gamer...oh yeah, that's the stuff."

Amazingly, the Giants scored a bunch of runs. Mostly on sacrifice flies, but hey, horribly cursed offenses can't be choosers. Matt Cain pitched 8 brilliant innings with one unearned run, 9 strikeouts, and one walk. Then Bruce Bochy stuck in Dan Runzler, the one and only young guy that he's ever had faith in, and the Braves promptly scored four runs and brought the tying run to the plate.

Bruce Bochy is a quandary that's been dredged through a batter of a head-scratchers, dipped in "what is this i don't even" sauce, and then wrapped in bacon. Brandon Belt went 0-for-3 with a walk today, and he's almost definitely sitting out tomorrow's game. Bochy has been confirmed as hating an at-bat he feels is "too passive." Belt looked at six pitches in his third plate appearance, and the last two could have/should have been called balls. They weren't. That doesn't matter to Bruce Bochy. He probably turned to Ron Wotus and said, "Why isn't this asshole hacking at everything? That's what the bat's for. Swinging at everything." In Bochy's mind, the game they play isn't "base"ball, it's "swingball."

And Bochy probably gave Belt the stink-eye pretty good, because in Belt's next plate appearance, where he could have picked up a sacrifice fly for a run, he swung at the first pitch and popped it up just past the infield. You could almost hear Bochy yelling, "Too aggressive, you idiot!" And so it goes for anyone under 35 in a Bruce Bochy lineup. He doesn't believe in career minor league numbers. He doesn't understand how small sample sizes work. He doesn't understand the benefits of OBP over batting average and RBI. The only things he believes in are "the hot hand" and "swinging the bat well" and "knows how to win ballgames" and "been there before" and "he wears his hat like a pro" and a million other intangibles that mean nothing to anyone but him and, presumably, Brian Sabean.

So I've never understood why, given how Bochy has historically treated young players, he's brought Runzler in so many times in a non-mop-up capacity. Maybe Runzler forged a birth certificate and convinced Bochy he was born in 1968.

But anyway, a win paired with a Diamondbacks loss. I'll take it. Matt Cain is amazing. Tim Lincecum pitches tomorrow. I hear he's pretty good, too. Hammerin' Mike Fontenot was 3-for-4 with a pair of doubles today, so with all the injuries we can keep our fingers crossed for the glorious return of Number Three Hitter Mike Fontenot.

I'm ready for Houston, how about you?

Fools Flail in Florida, Flounder Facing Fish: Giants Lose 2-1

Unable to hit base hits, Aubrey Huff resorts to droppin' 'bows.

Bases loaded? The Giants will get you out of that jam. Men on second and third, one out, infield back, tying run on third? Never fear, pals, the Giants are at the plate!

Matt Cain had one bad inning, and Giants pitching allowed two earned runs. Two! No climbing out of that chasm, no sir. This is a team that has angered the gods. Odin has stomped on them with his hobnailed boot, and Zeus has given them a big old blanket party.

So terrible. So unwatchable. See you all at 7:05 EST.

Giants Throw Three Bad Pitches, Lose 3-0

Oh yeah, dude. We're all REAL impressed.

On the surface, there are tons of things to be frustrated about: the Giants not being able to muster a single run against a Cliff Lee that really wasn't impressive last night, the fact that they didn't even get him over 100 pitches until the bottom of the ninth, Aaron Rowand and Cody Ross and everyone else in the lineup seeing the umpire calling inside pitches strikes ALL NIGHT, and still letting themselves get rung up on those pitches again and again and again, the Giants activating Mark DeRosa and sending Brandon Belt to Fresno AGAIN, and blah blah blah.

But you know what?

Madison Bumgarner shut down the Phillies' second-best lineup for six dominating innings after leaving two pitches up in the second and giving up two solo home runs. Santiago Casilla gave up his first run in a month. Hunter "Sure, This Lineup Scores 20 Runs a Game...But What if We Scored Twenty-Five?" Pence drove in two of the three runs. The Phillies looked touchable, but the Giants once again let their offense beat them. Three runs? Hey pal, we're not miracle workers.

It also helps that the Diamondbacks had the day off, meaning the Giants are still technically in first place.

Jonathan Sanchez returns today, meaning tonight's game is the true wild card. Will he pitch another no-hitter? Will he walk 12 in 4.2 innings? No one knows! (It's the second one.) With Cain and Lincecum pitching on Saturday and Sunday, a split is possible. A sweep is more likely. Bring on second place. We might overcome.

Basically Everything Possible Goes Wrong, Giants Lose 5-2

Your 2011 NL West Champs.

Matt Cain gets squeezed. The Giants hit everything hard, but they all find gloves. The Diamondbacks hit nothing hard, and they all find holes. Beltran grounds into an inning-ending double play when he represents the tying run. Now he is truly a Giant.

No offense, no offense, no offense. I look at the Diamondbacks and I see a team that refuses to quit and mashes the ball and presses, presses, presses. I look at the Giants and I see a discarded husk of a team that can't muster the strength to win.

It is the second-worst thing in the world for your team to suffer one bad inning and think, "They need five runs? There's literally no way in hell they can score five runs to win this." It is the actual worst thing in the world to be right.

The Giants will get swept and relinquish the NL West lead. They will not make the playoffs. This is the beginning of the end. I hope I am wrong, but I see no indication that is the case. Prove me wrong, Giants. I am begging you.

Less "A Game" and More "A Big Bag of Butts," Brewers Over Giants 4-2

Okay, see that up there? That's Eli Whiteside, the guy who was the Giants' starting catcher today, being unable to catch a baseball thrown from left field. He catches the ball, the Brewers score one less run, which the Giants actually have a chance to overcome. Two runs? Not a chance.

Putting that aside, the Brewers have been lousy on the road all season. Seriously lousy. They come to AT&T and score four runs off of Matt Cain, which, adjusted for park and pitcher, is like two hundred and seventy-three runs. The Brewers are supposed to have insanely, laughably bad defense, yet Nyjer "Tony Plush" Morgan was running hither and yon, tracking down scalded line drives and grabbing his crotch at the entirety of the bleachers, then flipping off the field level seats. (An aside: T-Plush is the absolute best. He's the Ochocinco of baseball, but with less talent. I'm planning on obtaining a "PLUSH 2" Brewers throwback jersey at some point in the next few months. I just don't like when he's playing against the Giants. My rooting interests clash. It's messy.) Casey McGehee and Corey Hart were making sparkling plays. I watched most of the Brewers/Diamondbacks series. Two days ago, K-Rod couldn't throw a strike to save his life. Tonight, he strikes out a pair of Giants and makes a pinch-hitting Brandon Belt have his worst-looking at-bat of the year. When Brandon Belt is up there looking like Anthony Rizzo --or, worse, like a left-handed Aaron Rowand -- that's very, very bad.

So the Giants offense looked like the Giants offense, and Matt Cain had one of his worst starts -- four runs? Are you kidding me?? -- and the Brewers lived up to none of their expectations, all in the worst way. It wasn't the worst game of the year by any means. Heck, I'll even heap praise on Aaron freaking Rowand. He had probably the most impressive pinch hit home run this season, by anyone on any team. Watch some replays. The location of that pitch he hit was totally unreal. Plus, the Rockies beat the Diamondbacks, so it's not like any true damage was done.

Still, an offense is needed. Sorely needed. If the Phillies are closing in on B.J. Upton, maybe the Giants could still land Carlos Beltran. I'd give up Zach Wheeler for a rental at this point, sorry to say. My guess is a deal won't be made until the deadline, and it will be a deal that sends Gary Brown away for, oh, let's say Ivan Rodriguez. I want to believe in Sabean, but I'm thinking that this season is one of his classic trades where he lays an egg.

- Bill

Giants Lose to the Cubs 5-2 in 13 Innings

I know, Matty. I know.

If you had to have two words to describe the 2011 Giants, it would probably be "WASTED OPPORTUNITIES."

The Giants blow two leads after the Cubs get down to their last out (their last strike, twice!), Matt Cain gives up no runs in seven innings, Brian Wilson gives up his first home run of the year, and the phenomenal bullpen gives the Cubs two walk-off wins in two days.

This was a butthole of a game. An enormous, stinky butthole. The Giants wasted a million trillion opportunities here and they can go to hell. They probably won't win another game for the rest of the season.

Feelings.

- Bill

Bochy Leaves Cain in Too Long, Giants Win Unnecessarily Stressful Game, 6-5

yeeeeeeeee

Well, the Giants were ahead 5-0 for most of that game, then 5-1, but in the seventh inning Bochy was like, "Hmm, Cain has thrown over 100 pitches and is visibly struggling with his command. He barely survived the sixth inning with every D'Backs hitter crushing the ball against him. Let's see how this plays out!"

Other than the shaky pitching, the Giants offense looked really solid for a change. Cody Ross has two doubles, 2RBI, 2 runs, a stolen base (stole home as part of a double steal) and a walk. Aubrey Huff had a hit and two walks. Nate Schierholtz hit a bit insurance RBI triple after being 0-for-3 to that point. Perhaps most importantly, Pablo Sandoval looked good, stroking an RBI single in his first at-bat and working an amazing 10-pitch walk which may have been the best Giants at-bat of the season to date. Even Eli Whiteside reached base twice!

So what could have been the Giants' easiest win this season instead became a gut-wrenching marathon. Since I'm leaving for vacation and my Baseball Feelings may be few and far between for the next ten days, it was a very Giants-like send-off.

- Bill

Matt Cain's a Hell of a Drug: Giants Win, 3-1

Matt Cain strikes out five batters while Roger Bernadina attempts to steal second.

Matt Cain tosses a complete-game, 11-strikeout, 1-run affair while allowing one walk and five hits. He doubles in the first run of the game for his first RBI of the year. HE SLIPS THE SURLY BONDS OF EARTH TO TOUCH THE FACE OF GOD

I won't say it's the best game I've ever seen Cain throw, but man alive, was it close. The Giants take the series and ensure they'll remain in first place regardless of what the stupid Diamondbacks do this evening.

The Giants were kind of all over the place in this one. Eli Whiteside had two hits, but both times he attempted to throw out base runners, he winged the ball four feet high of his target. So the Giants still looked like the Giants today, especially with Tejada and Rowand still in there against a righty for some reason. But for the first time this season, they managed to make the Nationals look like the Nationals, and that is pretty great.

It looks like Brandon Crawford is for real. Even if he couldn't hit a lick, he is absolutely murdering it on defense, which is invaluable for the Giants at SS right now. Luckily for everyone, Crawford is now two weeks into his major league career and still sporting an OPS of over .900. RAD.

Slightly off-topic: how perfect is it that Brian Wilson's ninth-inning entrance music is "Jump Around?" Separating Wilson from the endless iterations of "Enter Sandman" and "Iron Man" and "Hell's Bells" and "Smoke on the Water" or whatever, it captures his attitude in a way that most outside observers don't really get. Closer entrance themes are usually centered on "This guy is a stone badass" or "This guy is dangerous and unpredictable" or "Watch out for me, g-d it, I am metal as hell" but Wilson's theme says, "What's up dudes, it is about to be a party." And that is tremendous. Brian Wilson is pretty intense, and pretty metal, but he is probably the closest MLB is ever going to get to having their own personal Andrew WK. It's a save situation, so jump around. Things are about to get fun.

Slugger Tejada is Benched, Giants Manage 3-1 Win

AWOOOOOOOOO

Not a lot to say on this one. Matt Cain looked pretty un-Cain-like in the early innings, then settled down late, getting outs when he needed them. Huff got an 0-fer but got BABiP'd on a couple of well-struck balls. Manny Burriss, replacing Michael Tejada in the number 2 slot, was 3-for-4. If he hadn't gotten picked off first following a leadoff hit in the fourth inning, the score would have been 4-1. Brandon Crawford got his first AT&T Park hit and RBI with his family in attendance, which is neat. Dude's a lifetime Giants fan. Feel-good story of the week, easily.

Giants still look good enough to keep plugging along. Rockies still look pretty lousy overall. Brian Wilson still can't get a three-batter save under any circumstances. The big Giants news of the past couple days is Giants GM Brian Sabean going on the radar and calling for a hit on Scott Cousins and his family, and the Joe Torre calling the Giants and being like, "ARE YOU INSANE" and then the Giants releasing a statement that is all "lol taken out of context" so it was a shameful couple of days for this front office to say the least.

Jason Giambi pinch-hit in the top of the ninth and was summarily booed vociferously. This pleases me a great deal. Being a fan of the team where Barry Bonds is the ultimate hometown hero and the repentant beloved white steroids abuser is enemy number one is pleasing on many levels.

Giants attempt to win the series tomorrow, and depending on where you live the FOX SPORTS RANDOM NUMBER GENERATOR may determine it's your local game of the week. MLB.tv will black out all four potential games because the hell with you, buddy. You should own a television, pay for cable, and live in whatever location you need to live to watch the game you want. Anything less would be uncivilized.

Giants Basically Quit Trying, Lose 5-1

This game had everything you'd expect from Bad 2011 Giants: baserunning gaffes, first-pitch outs, Aubrey Huff killing four rallies, leadoff doubles getting stranded, starting pitchers getting flustered, terrible umpiring calls, Michael Tejada celebrating doing something useless, Aaron Rowand coming in to pinch-hit and taking two strikes before swinging and missing at a slider low and away, Pat Burrell getting a key pinch-hit walk while starter Nate Schierholtz goes 0-for-4, opposing pitchers getting multiple single-digit pitch count innings, and Mike Krukow saying "That's a rough at-bat" after yet another Giants batter has a three-pitch strikeout.

The only surprising thing about this game was that the Giants got Ricky Nolasco over 100 pitches. The final score of this game really should have been 2-1. Matt Cain was the victim of literally the worst strike-calling I've ever seen in the fourth inning, no less than three times on two different batters getting an inning-ending strike three called a ball, leading to two consecutive walks, which let the Marlins extend the inning for a three-run double. It was a fiasco behind the plate all night. A pitch would be a strike, and literally the next pitch in the exact same location would be called a ball, or vice versa. The bad news is that Joe West is also on this umpiring crew.

Aubrey Huff should not be playing games right now, let alone batting third in the lineup. His WAR is the second-worst in the NL according to baseball-reference.com and he can't hit a lick. He's truly turning in a sub-Tejada performance, and it's not even close. The Giants need to call up Brandon Belt soon. A year ago I wouldn't imagine they'd dream of benching Huff, but they've done it with Rowand and cut Molina loose to make room for Posey, so it's a possibility. Two pieces of good news for today: Pablo Sandoval will probably be back ahead of schedule, and the Rockies lost their best pitcher. I'm not celebrating De La Rosa getting hurt by any means, but if the already-flustered Rockies get even more hopeless, I'm all for it.

Tonight was a demoralizing, frustrating loss. (Is there any other kind?) My prediction is a Marlins sweep, but I'll be happy to be proved wrong. It's early in the season, but this offense needs to make SOMETHING happen or we're all doomed.

Eat it, Rockies

POOOOUUUUNNNCCEEEE

Troy Tulowitzki entered the series against the Giants batting .364. He is currently batting .323 after going 0 for 8 in the first two games. He demonstrated a knack for sulking, refusing to run on a passed-ball third strike, staring at Buster Posey and taking his batting gloves off determinedly while waiting at home plate to be tagged out. I hope he and Albert Pujols are thrown into the same slump-pit to rot for the rest of 2011.

The Rockies are suddenly figuring out that their best-record-in-baseball, haven't-lost-consecutive-games hot start looks a lot less impressive when you're not playing the Diamondbacks, Mets, or Cubs any more. By contrast, the Giants are suddenly figuring out that they are THE DEFENDING WORLD CHAMPIONS, that their offense is light-years better than it was in the first half of 2010, and coincidentally, clubhouse manager Mike Murphy just found a big box in the attic marked "SWAGGER" that he meant to take down after the team returned from the Cactus League. Better late than never, Murph!

Historically, the Giants avoid the sweep today. Matt Cain is pitching, Sandoval injured himself at BP an hour ago, and Cody Ross returns. It's going to be a fun one. Let's play...just the one. Travel day tomorrow. Two would be silly.

What a Lovely Turn of Events

I should write negative BF previews more often. Just hours after posting my fears about the historically unkind bouncy-house known as Coors Field, the Giants went absolutely bonkers. Lincecum took a no-hitter into the seventh inning, while Nate Schierholtz (a notoriously light-hitting leftie whose only home run at the short-porched AT&T Park was an inside-the-parker) launched a ludicrous third-deck shot, one of three Giants taters on the evening. The good guys won by a final of 8-1, Tulowitzki went hitless, and Kung Fu Panda took three walks.

Pat Burrell picked up his fifth home run in nine hits, but his first non-solo homer of the season. It's always a blast watching Burrell launch his moon shots, because he has that humongous, goofy swing. He just goes WHAM, watches the ball only until he's sure it's not hooking foul, then stares at the ground and trots around the bases. He's so ashamed of his flashy displays of dingertry.

Looks like Cody Ross will be activated and Brandon Belt sent down today, which is fine. Let the bears pay the bear tax, I say. Here's hoping the Giants keep it up in "The Buckeye State," Colorado.

Absolute Craziness

Like a boss.

Today the Giants got their World Championship rings and celebrated by wearing SWANK gold-lettered jerseys and caps. Noted San Francisco Hall of Famers Mays, McCovey, Cepeda, Perry and Marichal all got rings, as did the crack Giants announce team of the esteemed Jon Miller and Lon Simmons, the destined-to-be-esteemed Dave Fleming, and the esteemed-by-some-loathed-by-others Kruk and Kuip.

It was a truly magical evening that was nearly ruined by injury early on, as center fielder Andres "The Giant" Torres went out with an ankle injury after fielding a fly ball early on. Amazingly, his replacement, the defensive whizkid and speedster who swings like Will Clark but without the power or average, Nate "Juggernate" Schierholz managed to have himself a three-hit night.

Things managed to get worse still thanks to Colby Rasmus, as he cranked a rare Matt Cain mistake just over the right-center wall to put the loathesome Cardinals up 2-1. The score seemed certain to remain that way, or to even get worse, but Dan Runzler pitched himself out of a self-imposed mega-jam, and with two outs in the bottom of the ninth, down by one with two men on, Miguel "Michael" Tejada stepped to the plate. Tejada famously hacked at a shoelaces-high first pitch on Opening Day to foul out and end an inning and a rally with the bases loaded. Here, however, he miraculously turned an 0-2 count into a 3-2 count and spoiled a handful of tough pitches to stay alive. It was a hell of an at-bat, regardless of the outcome.

But man, what an outcome.

Miggy jacked a fly to deepest left-center. When the ball left the bat, Cards catcher Yadier Molina actually hung his head and began walking off the field, but the ball stayed in the park. The aforementioned St. Louis hero Colby "sub-par cheese" Rasmus raced towards the warning track, trying to follow the ball in the 18MPH wind. He went for a basket-style catch, got a hand on it, and dropped it onto the outfield grass as both baserunners crossed the plate and Tejada leaped for joy, mobbed by the emptying dugout.

It was the second walk-off for San Francisco in two nights, and in their first two games at home. Regardless how much Tejada may stink up the infield and the lineup for the balance of the season, tonight he looked every bit as much a World Champion as his teammates.

Watching the 2011 Giants is much the same as watching the 2010 version: heart palpitations at every turn. But if this season turns out half as well as the last one, it will be well worth the ride. (P.S. I hope Pujols's slump lasts forever.)

- Bill