Thursday, May 31, 2012

Blue Jays 4, Orioles 1: Gladness Brooms

dingerz for days
I was totally in and out with last night's game, and yet I was present for all for Blue Jays solo home runs: E5 (again!), Rajai (again!), Lawrie, and Rasmus. I mention this because I found it awesome. Less awesome is that Brandon Morrow, who pitched well, had to leave the game after getting smoked by a batted ball in the seventh, but it is a dangereuse game we play is it not mon chéri?

Hey also, have you noticed that the AL East is utterly nuts? Like, here it is:

It's not just me, right? That is legitimately nuts, isn't it? 


Yankeesfans: The Stories Behind The Animated GIF.

For any who has seen it with even a passing knowledge of baseball it is irrefutable fact.  

"Yep," say all who behold it.  "Those are certainly Yankee fans."

But who ARE these people, really.  Do they hope?  Do they dream?  Are they nothing more than animate, bipedal piles of douche, or do they think and feel like you and I? 

Our own Bill dared to look closer at the immortal image above, and what he found may shock, surprise, and yes, even touch you.   

Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Blue Jays 8, Orioles 6: This Really Is How This Should Be Going

cool snag bro
Yeah, right? Brett Lawrie with a nice night, Ricky Romero, if not yet in touch with his truest/bossest self at least not walking everybody, and that's all you need to beat the Orioles, because they are totally still the Orioles. That is all they are. 


Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Blue Jays 6, Orioles 2: The Hope Here is that Maybe the Orioles are Still Just the Orioles

Edwin Encarnacion and Jose Bautista reject your suggestion that this looks goofy
I know they're in first place almost fifty games into the season, but I have not been shook for even a second by the Orioles so far this year. I have seen very little evidence to suggest that they are even going to be all that OK by the end of the year, let alone stick around at the top of the AL East. I am taking last night's 6-2 Blue Jays win as confirmation that I am right about this and probably also about everything else ever, too. Drew Hutchinson put in a heck of an effort of seven solid, scoreless innings, including one weird one where he allowed three walks and a hit, but no runs (good job picking a dude of second, Jeff Mathis!). Kelly Johnson returned from a hamstring injury, and went 3-4 with a double and a home run, but is not all the way better, and Yunel Escobar is having groin issues, so all of that is a drag, but there are options. There are things. Also, look at this rad .gif I have lifted from DJF that shows a dude really minding that he missed catching E5's sixteenth yeah sixteenth dinger of the year in circumstances that make the miss completely inexcusable (by which I mean he was wearing a glove):

That is a play that has to be made.


Sunday, May 27, 2012

Rangers 8, Blue Jays 7 (F/13); Rangers 12, Blue Jays 6: Sadness Brooms

first base coach Torey Lovullo speaks for me on this issue
John Farrell has taken a considerable amount of criticism for the pitching moves that, one could argue, ended up costing the Blue Jays the two-run led Omar Vizquel, of all people, had staked them to in the top of the thirteenth inning Saturday evening, but I have nothing to say about that other than this: if he'd burned a starter, like many thought he should have, and Josh Hamilton had still hit a walkoff, which he very well might of because he is actually the best, that would have been construed as dumb too, so whatever. What I wish to focus my attention on here instead, albeit briefly, is home plate umpire Marty Foster's ejection of Henderson Alvarez on a hip-high two-strike pitch with J. P. Arencibia set up low and inside after, I grant you, back-to-back-to-back home runs. But that last bit is circumstantial, a word that I am not really using right. It was the must egregious ejection of a Blue Jays starter since the time Roy Halladay got tossed by Phil Cuzzi for hitting a Tampa Bay (Devil) Ray in the back with a curveball in the middle of his Cy Young award-winning 2003 season, my favourite pitcher-season ever, for those of you scoring along at home (maybe Bill?). Ridiculous stuff, man; just ridiculous. I am told that on certain replays, a baffled Arencibia can be lipread as asking Foster, "Are you drunk?" I am kind of amazed he didn't get run, too, if that is indeed the case.

Then today Yu Darvish was good, not great, while Kyle Drabek was horrendous, not bad, and there you have it. 

Hell of a road trip, fellows!


Saturday, May 26, 2012

Rangers 14, Blue Jays 3: Brandon Morrow Made This One Easy

well I mean what are you going to do
Friday night I was like, you know what, I really want to watch a bunch of old karate movies tonight, but the Blue Jays game just started, let's see how that's going. I did, and soon noticed that Brandon Morrow had given up six runs and didn't even get out of the first inning, so the course of my night became clear! E5's fifteenth home run of the season should be noted, but that is all I choose to note from this game notable only for Morrow, who has been awesome this year, sucking this time out, and for Cruz's eight runs batted in, which you sure don't see everyday. 


The Mania that is Manny, Night I

Oh Raley Field, you are the best. Sure, you guys decided to change your rules regarding camping chairs in the grass area and didn't bother telling anyone. Kind of a dick move, yo, but I can't stay mad at cha. You are literally the best family bargain in the Sacramento area, and for that I shall always love you. Tonight isn't about family, due to the fact that mine is out of town. No, tonight is about something much more awesome. Tonight is about a 34 year old man wearing a dreadlock wig, watching a formerly awesome slugger try to work his way back to the Bigs. Tonight, the Capital City is firmly in the grasp of Manny Mania, and there ain't a damned thing anyone can do about it.

Manny is hitting 3rd tonight and DHing, which is just fine by me. The River Cats are opposed by the hated Reno Aces (at least as close to hated as a AAA rivalry can get). I have assumed my usual seat just inside the right field fair pole, and I'm ready to do the damned thing.

Cats starter Travis Banwart wastes no time getting into a second and third with no one out jam and follows it up with a wild pitch, putting the Cats in a 1-0 hole right off the bat. He decides he's seen enough of that and fans the next two hitters and gets AJ Pollack to pop out to minimize the damage.

Eric Sogard leads of with a 4 pitch walk, which brings up Brandon Inge. Wild pitch moves Eric to second. Inge flies out to center to bring up the man of the hour MANNY RAMIREZ. After working a full count Manny lines a single to center and we're tied. The Eternal Disappointment twins, aka Chris Carter and Michael Taylor fly out and pop out respectively and that's it for the first.

Rusty Ryal hits a two out double for Reno but ends up stranded at second.

Cats go one two three and we're on to the third.

Banwart repeats the first inning, allowing the Aces to get first and second with no outs but manages to get out unscathed.

Manny comes up with two on and one out and promptly ground into a double play. Oh Manny.
Nothing doing for the Aces in the 4th.
Brandon Moss hits a two out solo shot for the Cats, and the head into the 5th with a 2-1 lead.

Adam Eaton leads off with his 3rd bunt single of the game. May want to bring the corners in on him. Just a thought. The Aces fail to bring him in.

Awful Australian Luke Hughes (as if there is any other kind) strikes out because he is awful. Eric Sogard singles and scores from first on a Brandon Inge single. Manny flies out on the first pitch and the inning is dead.

It's already 9 pm and I have to work tomorrow morning, so I'ma bounce. But fret not, I've got a ticket to tomorrow's game and will be sharing more Baseball Feelings with you. Peace.

NOTE: Literally the moment I got to my car it started raining. I am awesome at not getting rained on!

Thursday, May 24, 2012

Rays 8, Blue Jays 5; Rays 5, Blue Jays 4 (F/11): Shucks

This really didn't go as well as I'd hoped it might. Especially yesterday, even though it was the closer and better game: Ricky Romero was not at all his usual bosslike self, which is distressing to me. Jose Bautista has maybe turned the corner a little, though, as he was 5-9 with a dinger over the last two days, and if we are going to hang in this thing over the long haul and we are totally going to hang in this over the long haul right guys then we need Bautista to be drop megaton bombs more faster than you blink.


Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Blue Jays 6, Rays 2: Call It What You Want, Girl; I'll Just Call It Smoke

"no no seriously it hit a thing and this place is a joke so it's a dinger man seriously"
Delighted though I am by Kyle Drabek's fairly rad six innings of three-hit ball, and cheered though I was by the Rays booting it around and pretty much giving this one away, all I can think about is how lame it was how amazingly lame it was when B. J. Upton hit one off just like a fuckin thing in the roof, like the bottom of a catwalk or something, and the ball fell to the ground in front of Rasmus in centre, and it was a home run, according the ground rules. What is this, Dusty Diamond's All-Star Softball? I don't think it is, because if it was, I would be finding this situation much more charming than I am presently. Also I would select "Diablo," because that kid could straight-up rake with that hell club thing he had.

Diablo knows only dingerz

Monday, May 21, 2012

Mets 6, Blue Jays 5: A Comeback Nipped in the Butt

So close! But alas, young Henderson Alvarez really wasn't at his best today, and I am sufficiently cheered by Jose Bautista's 3-5 with a dinger that I am OK. There was a moment yesterday, though, when the Mets were hitting everything and I was being harassed by ants while I was attempting to paint the picnic table that I was like well this is just great baseball is stupid but it was the ants talking man. Baseball is awesome. And I have no real problem with ants, in the proper context. 

Next up for the Blue Jays: a road trip that takes them to Tampa and Texas! That could be pretty horrible actually!


Saturday, May 19, 2012

Blue Jays 2, Mets 0: Brandon Morrow, Metsecutioner

lol so not a tag man so not a tag
So it turns out the Rays officially appealed a recent official scoring decision of official scorer Dave Perkins, an officially middling Toronto Star sportswriter who took a package a couple of years back, the one that called the ball ripped off a diving Adam Lind (before his demotion made him . . . Sadam Lind) an error and so made like five runs unearned. The Rays won their appeal, and the play was ultimately ruled a hit, which is fine, but it totally inflated Brandon Morrow's earned run average heading into today's game. And so, in response, Morrow threw a complete game, three-hit shutout. No big deal. The Blue Jays got a big assist from a totally blown call in the ninth: the Mets by all rights should have had runners on second and third, one out, in a two run game, but because the umpire was in no position to see the play at second as Mike Baxter slid in under Yunel Escobar's tag on a throw from Jose Bautista that beat him by a mile, but again, no tag, they totally did not. 

Also of note today: at one point Alan Ashby spilled a cup of water all over his scorecard and Jerry Howarth good naturedly rode him about it way longer than you would think and it was charming. 


Feelings of Mediocrity

So, this was supposed to be the year that Billy Beane finally managed to put together a team that lost enough games to actually get a decent draft pick next year. He traded away two young pitchers for more prospects and allowed his one legit power threat to leave. He traded his former All Star closer for an underachieving outfielder and a couple of fringe prospects. I was fine with this because, you know, why not? The A's ownership clearly has put things in cruise control until the whole territorial rights pissing match is resolved with the Giants, so why not just let the bottom fall out and do an ACTUAL rebuild instead of one of Billy's patented patch jobs? I was completely prepared for a 90 loss season. I had accepted the fact that the A's were going to be bad this year. And once again, William Lamar Beane went and screwed it all up.

Right after Bud Selig came out and said that the A's moving to San Jose maybe won't be happening Beane jumped into action. He went and spent an un-Athletics amount of cash on Yoenis Cespedes. This was shocking because the A's don't usually spend money on proven talent, much less speculative talent. All Cespedes has done (prior to hitting the DL) is murder some baseballs and throw dudes out and swing at a lot of bad pitches. He instantly made the A's watchable, something they haven't been in years. Of course, being that this is the A's and all, the talk of "when will they trade Cespedes?" has already started. Whatever. The dude makes you stop whatever you're doing whenever he's hitting, and that is a really good feeling.

Josh Reddick was the main piece of the Andrew Bailey trade, which is a nice way of saying he was the best throw-in in a salary dump. Or so it would seem. Reddick has already hit a dozen homers and leads the AL in outfield assists. To put that into perspective: In a month and change Josh Reddick has one fewer homer than the man he replaced, Ryan Sweeney, hit in his entire 4 year A's career. Sweeney wasn't derisively referred to as "Swingles" by the Oakland faithful for no reason. Between Reddick and Cespedes, the A's have two outfielders who can cover a lot of ground and can throw out literally anyone at anytime. It almost makes up for the two headed monster of suck in left field that is Coco Crisp's noodle arm and Seth Smith's concrete feet. Almost.

It's not all sunshine and hand jobs in Oaktown, however. Daric Barton still can't hit. Kurt Suzuki continues to fool himself by thinking that his refusal to take a day off is actually helping the team, when in reality we could use a break from him grounding into double plays and popping up to the first or third. The starting pitching is made up of young guys and injury prone guys. Grant Balfour is pouting after being relieved of closer duty. Their best reliever, Ryan Cook, is probably going to be stuck in the setup role for the entire season, barring a trade of Balfour or Brian Fuentes. Jemile Weeks is struggling at the plate. Cliff Pennington is struggling at the plate. Third base has been a revolving door. Literally none of their top hitting prospects are doing anything of note in the minors. This is most certainly not a playoff team, and are probably overachieving by floating around near .500. But all of that is about to change in a few weeks with the arrival of one MANNY RAMIREZ! OK, he probably won't make much of a difference, but he'll be fun to watch because he is Manny and for better or worse Manny is always entertaining. I'll be attending his tune up games in Sacramento with the River Cats next Friday and Saturday, so look out for a long, meandering live blog.

Blue Jays 14, Mets 5: An Abundance of Dingerz

Yan Gomes and Rajai Davis: sluggers of the highest calibre apparently
For a minute there in the first, it looked like Jon Niese was going to work his way out of a pretty sticky situation but then lol nope as J. P. Arencibia ripped one down the line, just fair, for a three-run dinger of the "out of a here in a hurry" variety which I trust you will agree is an awesome kind of them. He added another in the third, and Rajai Davis, of all people, had a pair of two-run shots, and young utility dude Yan Gomes hit the first of his career. Gomes has this awesome stance, front foot slightly open, bat held up high and hell of erect, and he just slashes it through the strike zone man he just slashes it. He looks like a guy who is maybe going to strike out a ton but really lace it every now and then, which, I mean, fine, as it looks super cool and what do I care other than that from a young utility guy with a sick catcher's arm that he deployed a couple of times from third last night. 

I should add that Ricky Romero was a boss, allowing but a run through six. The bullpen was a little shitty after that, but I am not going to mind that right now. 


Friday, May 18, 2012

Let Me Tell You About All of The Baseball Teams

yeah all of them
I think you will agree that as a guy who really only follows one team closely and only finds out about other teams when the Blue Jays play them, they are on for free, or they are discussed on either the Baseball Today or FanGraphs podcasts, I am perhaps uniquely qualified to tell you exactly where everybody stands as we enter interleague play, which, whether you love it or hate it, is our first sign each year that a reasonable amount of baseball has been played. Let us go then!


1. Baltimore Orioles (25-15): It is both staggering and upsetting that the Orioles have a better record than not only everyone else in the AL East, but the juggernaut Rangers, too. Nevertheless, I think they are junk. They will not last.

2. Tampa Bay Rays (24-15): Appear to be magic, unfortunately; will be in playoffs and I won't be able to mind. 

3. Toronto Blue Jays (21-18): The starting pitching has been admirable, E5 has been beastly, and Jose Bautista has hit five home runs in his last seven games and is starting to look aggressive to the point of cocky, which is when he is at his raddest. I will be so sad if this is not, if not the year, at least a year. Go Jays.

4. New York Yankees (20-18): Lacking in both aura and mystique these days but they'll win ninety or something. Jeter is hitting .363 in case you haven't checked in a while.

5. Boston Red Sox (18-20): I am concerned that the Red Sox might not be as dead as they first appeared. David Ortiz is fat as hell.


1. Cleveland Indians (22-16): This is last year all over again. It is deeply improbably they are at all this good.

2. Chicago White Sox (19-21): I have a rare genetic disorder that prevents me from knowing anything about the White Sox ever, even if they are playing the Blue Jays, even if they are in the playoffs, even if they are playing the Blue Jays in the playoffs, even if they have Tim Raines and are playing the Blue Jays in the playoffs. Imagine my life.

3. Detroit Tigers (18-20): Are unaccountably not good yet but don't need to be; will ultimately triumph.

4. Kansas City Royals (15-22): Were supposed to have a bunch of young pitching coming, right? Also they tend to lose in pretty excruciating fashion, which must be fun for the good people of KC.

5. Minnesota Twins (12-26): The worst team in baseball but the park is awesome so sunrise/sunset or something.


1. Texas Rangers (24-15): Josh Hamilton is the best and the Texas Rangers are amazing and will win the World Series if this sentence has anything to say about it and I would be pretty surprised if it didn't so there.

2. Oakland Athletics (20-19): Good for them. I would like to watch Moneyball again.

3. Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim (17-22): It is weird that I am taking perverse delight in how badly both Albert Pujols and the Angels are doing this year because I would have told you that I have absolutely no problem with either. Vernon continues to suffer which seems unjust.

4. Seattle Mariners (16-24): At least the games are quick, and like Minnesota, there is a measure of ballpark consolation to be enjoyed here. Also do not pretend that Ichiro is anything less than still neat.

DISCLAIMER: I don't know about the National League very much.


1. Atlanta Braves (24-15): I don't get TBS anymore which is unfortunate because by all accounts these dudes are awesome.

2. Washington Nationals (23-15): Even were it not for the enthusiasm of our own dear Raven Mack I would be excited about these young Nationals what with all of the young excitement. If Stephen Strasburg turns out not to be Kerry Wood then hold onto your butts, not just this season's butts but your all-time butts also. I am prepared to hold onto mine.

3.  New York Mets (21-17): David Wright is ridiculous and everything but they run Miguel Batista out there which is not a sign of moral, intellectual, or baseball seriousness. Also as I write this, the Mets are getting ripped by the Blue Jays so they are in my view utter clowns. Sorry Matt.

4. Miami Marlins (20-18): Reactionaries unwilling to yield to the inevitably of history; will probably finish like third.

5. Philadelphia Phillies (20-19): They are hot now after not being that way earlier; Doc's velocity is down a little but I for one would welcome him back if he were to decide that the Blue Jays were, in the final analysis, the coolest.


1. St. Louis Cardinals (22-16): Why not, right? Good call walking away on Pujols, I guess. Less Tony LaRussa makes for a less contemptible organization top to bottom.

2. Cincinnati Reds (19-18): Still my pick here. They've been pretty mediocre and they're still only a couple games back.

3. Pittsburgh Pirates (18-20): Caught a few innings from Pittsburgh on the other day and my god what a ballpark. Run differential suggests that they are in truth awful and not just a little bit bad and I am not one to argue with run differential.

4. Houston Astros (17-21): Everybody thought they would be the worst but they are only not good!

5. Milwaukee Brewers (16-22): This is the first time all season I have so much of thought about Bob Uecker and I am a little ashamed of that.

6. Chicago Cubs (15-24): Nick Offerman likes them and Ron Swanson is my mustache role model but beyond that they could disappear tomorrow and I would not care.


1. L. A. Dodgers (25-13): Boy they sure sold for a lot of money! Matt Kemp is way better than last year, so far, and as such it is pretty much like when Spider-Man was imbued with the power cosmic and shit got uncannily real. Some of those numbers might normalize a little I guess.

2. San Francisco Giants (19-19): Still the most interesting team in the National League, as far as I'm concerned, as they are incredibly unbalanced to the point of seeming like a team you would make for your computer simulation game just to see. Lincecum's velocity dropping bothers me more than Halladay's being off, which is not a response I could have predicted. 

3. Arizona Diamondbacks (17-22): I do not care about the Arizona Diamondbacks.

4. Colorado Rockies (15-22): I do not care about the Colorado Rockies.

5. San Diego Padres (14-25): I do not care about the San Diego Padres.

So, admittedly, that petered out a little before the end, but before that I think you will agree that I told you about all of the baseball teams. 

Enjoy interleague! It's weird, I guess, but whatever!


Blue Jays 4, Yankees 1: Brooms.

not this time jeter
Young Drew Hutchinson with six solid innings! Two-run dingers from both J. Bautista and J. P. Arencibia! Two hits from debuting utility dude Yan Gomes, first Brazilian-born major leaguer! A (two game, but still) sweep of the Yankees! And yet all of this pales in comparison to the big news of the day: after two years of being miserably awful after having been genuinely excellent for a like a second, Adam Lind has been demoted to Triple A Las Vegas. Can you believe he even had an option left? If he didn't, it would have been pretty interesting to see if anyone would have claimed Lind and the ten million dollars owed him, but I guess that will have to wait for next time, or whatever; the important thing here is that dude is gone. Maybe it will be like when E5 got demoted and came back a little farther along his strange path to awesomeness, but more likely he will hit like hell down there, come back up and do nothing, and then be gone for good. So it goes. 


Potential MVP of the National League, and most definitely the MVP of my heart.

So, after their thrilling come-from-behind victory over the Reds yesterday afternoon, the Mets packed up and headed up to the Godless hellhole of Toronto, and they dressed appropriately.  They chose to all wear hockey jerseys for their trip, much like they donned Western apparel when they flew from Colorado to Houston.  

I can only hope that this series goes better than that one, where they were swept by the lowly Astros.  If something similar should occur this weekend, I propose we do away with themed flights altogether.  

ANYWAY, it was just another ordinary afternoon for David Wright, who reached base in all five of his plate appearances, including a huge go-ahead double to the deepest part of the park that would have been a dinger in any reasonable baseball venue.  He's now batting .411 and is already hearing MVP chants, which, for someone who was speculated to be on the trading block back in February, is pretty damn nice. 

Anyway, all of that pales in comparison to his choice of jersey for the trip, because while everyone was putting on their Rangers, (Turner, Ike Davis, Mike Baxter) Kings, (Mike Nickeas) and Predators gear (St. Dickey), D-Wright was like pssssht i got this guys.  


Thursday, May 17, 2012

Blue Jays 8, Yankees 1: An Intoxicating Admixture of Dingerz and Smoke

Dingerz dung by: J. P. Arencibia, E5, Joseph Batstista, Kelly Johnson

Smoke thrown by: Kyle Drabek

Intoxicating admixture of the above imbibed by: your faithful correspondent


Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Rays 4, Blue Jays 3: You Will Be Missed, Brett Lawrie

this makes it look worse than it was, but only a little
Yes, I am disappointed that the Blue Jays kicked the ball around to the tune of four errors yeah four errors last night, but I am so used to losing to David Price that I am pretty much over that already. This is in part because of a most unpleasant distraction from the loss itself in the form of Brett Lawrie wildin' out on home plate umpire Bill Miller, after Miller took offense at Lawrie leaving the box early on a pitch that was so far outside as to be indisputably a ball, but even so, bro, even so. Miller, whose intention was pretty clearly to, you know, teach the kid a lesson, made an embarrassingly bad call, and then just a regular ol' bad call for strike three on the next pitch. Both were balls, though the second one was close enough that in any other circumstance you wouldn't really raise an eyebrow at it. But you really have got to think Miller himself knew they were balls and was basically just insisting on getting his dick out. 

And that kind of thing happens around young players all the time, right? Like, nobody thinks it's right (do they?), but everybody knows that it happens, right? It's baseball. It has been that way for at least the near thirty years I have been watching, and it will probably continue to be that way until robots. It was nothing special, or didn't have to be, except that it was as one-run game, bottom of the ninth, and the pretty remarkably hot-headed Brett Lawrie probably already felt like a butt because of a throwing error earlier, and so this happened:

Well OK not really but mostly:

Yikes, right? This is not Delmon Young chucking a bat a dude, but it is on the spectrum. Yeah, it bounced in the dirt (Mr. Splitty stylee), which is maybe like the tiniest bit mitigating, but Lawrie is so getting suspended for this one, man. There is just no other way. The MLBPA is awesome so maybe they can awesome it down to a mere five gamer or something, but I honestly wouldn't be stunned if this comes out at or around twenty. Why don't we just call it ten? Would that be cool for everybody?

An excellent "stay classy" moment followed as the umpires left the field:

Finally, let's just see if I actually know how to embed things . . .

OK I guess I can.

Anyway, all around, a pleasant evening at the old ballyard, eh fellows?


Monday, May 14, 2012

Your Division's A Sucker, My Division's A Creep

A point I would like to bring to your attention is that while the probably-not-historically-great-but-still-pretty-great Texas Rangers are killing it re: run differential, every other team in the American League is in the red oh except for literally every team in the American League East all of whom are killing it and it is almost like it is the only real division hey everybody else get better at baseball please.


Twins 4, Blue Jays 3: Ask Me How Good I Feel about Adam Lind as A Pinch Hitter with The Tying Run at Second

tears of a boss (note the absence of tears)
Seriously, ask me.


Sunday, May 13, 2012

Blue Jays 2, Twins 1: Joseph Batstista Again

scorin on you for just a sec 
Jose Bautista ripped one into the flower pots in left (I believe they contain pansies) to put the Blue Jays out in front for good in the sixth! Man that dude hits a lot of dingers at Target Field, like ten in ten games. Drew Hutchinson's start was odd in that one run in six innings will obviously totally do the trick, but the only run he allowed came from a bases-loaded walk. Weird, right? No less weird: Adam Lind getting a base hit, with a runner in scoring position, even (see above photo). Not even Francisco Cordero being pretty terrible again could keep the Blue Jays (or me) down on this night! They got some great bounces, too: a grounder off of Lawrie's glove that went right to Escobar, who threw to first for the out; a shot off Casey Janssen's glove that went to Escobar, too; and, best of all, a pop up that Lawrie bobbled in foul territory that landed right in Eric Thames' mitt! How about that!


Saturday, May 12, 2012

Twins 7, Blue Jays 6: At Least They Got It In, I Guess

baseball (above)
After a two-hour rain delay, Kyle Drabek (and the 'pen!) got slapped around to the tune of seven runs against a pretty awful lineup, but I have chosen to focus on the positive, which is to say: Jose Bautista's two dingers; E5's lone dinger; and the way the MLB guy doing the video recap of the game actually referred to Encarnacion as "E5" in the highlight package. These are all good things, except for how the pitching was, on this rainy night, if not an utter butt, then at least somewhat buttesque.


Friday, May 11, 2012

Blue Jays 6, Twins 2: So Lowly, These Twins

do you know who is lashing out over their bad start? it is only one of the three guys here
This one was A-OK: my main man Henderson Alvarez pitched seven strong, and Yunel Escobar went four-for-four with a walk, and everything was cool right from top of the first when the Blue Jays scored a pair. The poor Minnesota fans though, man. The Twins look like they're setting up to be bad for a pretty long while here. At least the ballpark is a honey, I guess.

Also, on The Baseball Today podcast earlier, Eric Karabell said that the more he thinks about the Vladimir Guerrero signing, the surer he becomes that Vladi will be batting fifth for the Blue Jays in the playoffs. I would enjoy that were it to occur!


Thursday, May 10, 2012

Blue Jays 5, Athletics 2: Now That Wasn't That Hard, Was it

lovin' that stride
All it took was an overdue demotion of the basically reprehensible (baseballically, I mean) Adam Lind -- a man who is a career 2.4 WAR player, guys/ladies -- to the eighth spot in the lineup and a promotion of my main man Casey Janssen to the closer spot (a made-up spot that should be abolished in my view because I am enlightened in that regard) and there you have it, a nice and easy 5-2 win in which Brandon Morrow was cool and Lind (and Arencibia and E5) homered and Janssen pitched a still-as-deepest-sleep ninth and we are golden. That's the way, fellows!

Did you know that the Blue Jays are actually second in the AL in run differential this year, behind only the mighty Texas Rangers? Isn't that awesome? No doubt, there have been areas of concern: too many blown saves (a stat that I of course despise; see earlier parenthetical remark re: my enlightenment), some troubling outings from Kyle Drabek, from whom we had smokey expectations (indeed, the smokiest), and Jose Bautista not at all doing what we have come to expect him to do. Also have I mentioned that Adam Lind is wretched? But E5 has been a beast, Kelly Johnson has been really good, and the starting pitching has been, on the whole, as good as you could have hoped, really. With four games against the pitiably lowly Minnesota Twins and so a chance to really put some wins together here before some big games with Tampa and New York, I remain wildly optimistic about what this season could bring! Seriously I do! Also my wife got me a new fitted hat for my birthday! How is that for excitement?  Tonight my friend was like, "Hey did you get that for your birthday?" and I was like "Yeah!" 

AND TODAY THE BLUE JAYS SIGNED VLADIMIR GUERRERO! On my birthday! Were you aware that every time I play Baseball Mogul, like every time, I move heaven and earth to get Vladimir Guerrero on my team? Of course you were not aware of that, but that doesn't make it any less true. Like, if I were running the IRL Toronto Blue Jays right now, this is absolutely something I would have done. Immediately. Actually maybe instead of feeling amazingly about Alex Anthopolous for making this happen, maybe I should be furious he didn't do it sooner? Anyway: come to me Vladi. Come to me.


Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Mets 10, Phillies 5: Better Days Have Not Been Seen

This friends, is the ultimate.  For me, a Mets fan living in exile in Philadelphia, there is nothing quite like a sweep of the Phillies.  It gives me bragging rights over my in-laws, the pleasure of an entire day of schadenfreude as I listen to Philly sports radio all day, and, best of all, three games in the standings over Satan's Own Team.  

Clearly I have not been making daily posts, and I am to blame for that, friends.  I was without internet in the mountains over the weekend as the Mets shook off four straight losses to take the last two games of the series against the Diamondbacks.  Santana got his first win of the season and St. Dickey came THIS CLOSE to a complete game victory, but had to settle for an eight-inning victory.  Best of all, he was pissed about it.  Good to see that fire!

Then the story of this series against the Phillies is the absolutely glorious way that the Mets won.  They weren't your run of the mill 'get ahead and coast' victories that are so easy to enjoy, all three were come-from-behind ruckuses that featured an absolutely ABHORRENT Philadelphia bullpen and some timely hitting by the Mets.  

Game one, the Mets fell behind Halladay 2-0 and I was like "Well forget this," and switched to the Rangers game.  Then within the span of 15 seconds, the Rangers tied the game with six seconds left in regulation, and Jordany Valdespin socked a three-run homer off of Jonathan Papelbon for his first career hit, and, more importantly, the go-ahead runs.  

Last night with former Major League pitcher Miguel Batista on the mound, the Mets fell behind like, 4-0 after two, but were able to come back as the Phillies bullpen crapped the bed again.  

In fact, when the Mets fell behind tonight 2-0, I was actually encouraged!  I was more encouraged when Charlie Manuel left Kyle Kendrick in for like, 10 too many batters, and Ike Davis crushed an absolute monster of a dinger off of Jose Contreras, much to my delight.  Then Andres Torres was like "Hey, me too," and the Phillies announcers were just SO BUMMED.  I know Phillies fans are counting the days until Howard and Utley get back, but the middle relief is just awful and should be a major area of concern.   

SO it's five in a row for the Mets who are, don't look now, just a half game behind the Nationals   and Braves as they travel to the new Marlins Park, aka Liberace's Playground, for a three-game set against the suddenly hot Marlins (seven wins in their last 10 games).  More Heath Bell meltdowns please (although they'll have to come in the eighth this time around).  

Athletics 7, Blue Jays 3: I Am Glad I Went to Bed

Perfect Strangersesque
Instead of staying up for this one, I watched the Game of Thrones where Ned Stark gets played to the death and then I went to bed furious and saddened at that injustice and it really is better that I did not tune in for Francisco Cordero's complete collapse that made a hash out of Ricky Romero's imperfect but credible quality start and delighted the nine people in attendance in Oakland but that would have caused me to consider a life of complete emotional detachment from all things had I been witness to it as it unfolded.


Monday, May 7, 2012

Angels 6, Blue Jays 2; Angels 4, Blue Jays 3: Well That Was A Funny Looking Four-Game Sweep

hey congrats on the dinger I hate you
Winning the first two on the road against the lowly Angels in such sick fashion made me greedy, and I have been punished by the gods (the old ones probably) with two dispiriting losses. Albert Pujols finally hit a home run and that is something we were all supposed to be interested in but I refuse to be. The only thing I wish to share with you about these games is that I had one of them on the radio and Howarth and Ashby were still casually referring to Vernon Wells as "Vernon" as I do too and probably will forever and my wife said, "He's 'Wells' now; they should call him 'Wells,'" and what could anyone do but reflect on the fleeting nature of all things.


Sad DC 18-10

sure, it was massive crushage at the hands of the Phils tonight
and Shaggy Werth broked his wrist but you know what?
maybe he needed to break his wrist
maybe Zimmy and Werth and Mike Morse all needed
to make psychic room for The Ultimate Harper to inject
this team with his wild Charlie Hustleness
(he stole home for the lone Nat run, did you see that?)

this is a team that was basically homeless, sleeping on subway grates
and no one loved them, and they got shipped to DC because of
the free mental health resources available, and they were not
supposed to be rehabilitated enough to even hold down a job
until next year, and here we are already talking promotions to
"playoff contender" so I say fuck it to it all
let this year unfold wildly and bizarrely
and let us rejoice in the bizarre nature of this team
so full of potential and quirky youthful superstars in the making
that normal baseball conventions and worries need not apply
fuck baseball conventions and fuck baseball worries
the best thing for baseball in DC is for it to be less like baseball in DC

Saturday, May 5, 2012

Curly W 18-9

Natty Gio came thru again
HRs galore (at least by Nats standards, where more than one = galore)
Philly crushage, and tomorrow there is possibility of a sweep
AND the Caps won

Blue Jays 4, Angels 0: I Hope You Enjoy Back-to-Back Shutouts

Bautista has the coolest batting gloves here imo
A night after Brandon Morrow threw a complete game three-hitter, Henderson Alvarez allowed six hits going the distance for a shutout of his own. Which ruled. Also Jose Bautista (whose BABIP has got to straighten out sooner or later, you'd think, but at present: yikes) hit his fifth home run of the year. Will Kyle Drabek make it three shutouts in a row tonight? Almost certainly not! But it would be cool if he did!


Curly W 17-9 (from Friday night)

Strasburg/Harper at home for the first time ever
Friday night, hosting the evil demon Phillies
what could be better than a bottom of the 11th victory, Natbros?
my wife & eldest kid are out so me and the two littler ones (8 & 4)
were strolling the pedestrian mall in our city
where I took them to a fashion show, bought them scarves,
and we ate pizza by the slice and frozen yogurt w/ toppings by the ounce
and when we got in the truck to go home I thought
"oh yeah, the baseball game..." and I cut it on
and seriously like 23 seconds later Hunter Pence blasted
his 2-run homer off of The Strasborg, so I wisely thought
that perhaps I was bad hoodoo on the game & cut it off
and then I look at the interwebs this morning and I see the glory

seriously though, nothing on this earth is worse than Philly fans
I will never once donate a fucking stolen dime to Stop Kony until
there are no more Philly fans walking free amongst us
normal humans

Curly W 16-9 (from Thursday night)

game-winning RBI for the Ultimate Harper
The Ultimate Fucking Harper

Friday, May 4, 2012

Blue Jays 5, Angels 0: I Probably Have to Stop Minding Brandon Morrow

I went to bed last night wondering if J. P. Arencibia's three-run home run was going to stand up, and it turns out it totally did, because Brandon Morrow threw a three-hitter against the unexpectedly woeful Angels. Will that be enough for me to finally stop minding Brandon Morrow, a little? Only time will tell. 


Wednesday, May 2, 2012

Curly W 15-9

bottom of the 9th starts out w/ Nats one down
& the kid leads off with a double
(& then a couple of SOs by other Nats)
& then Ian Desmond bangs a walk-off HR
and order is restored, we have won once again

And though I know the Harper media mania is sickening
and annoying and enough to make one angry at the dude though it is not his fault
let me say this...
even though he is a boy playing a man's game it is also a case of him
being a man playing a boy's game
the dude is the fuckin' goods

Sad DC 14-9

2 of the 29 people who came out for the home debut of The Ultimate Harper
who spent time playing softball by the Washington Monument
and is fucking awesome
Still the Nats lost to the stupid Arizona Diamondbacks
which sounds like a team from the Kenny Powers show
not an actual MLB baseball team
fuck Bud Selig
who is not fucking awesome

Astros 6, Mets 3 & Astros 8, Mets 1: Everyone Be Cool

Most Mets fans are ready to call it a season after the team goes into Houston dressed as cowboys and leaves looking like that one prostitute in Unforgiven who gets her face cut up, swept by a team considered by many to be one of the worst in the league.  

Yes, it was ugly, but fortunately, I was recently given the mysterious power to see into the future, so I know that when the end of the season comes and the Mets emerge from the World Series, triumphant against the Baltimore Orioles in a thrilling rematch of the 1969 World Series, that we'll all look back at this low point of the season and laaaaugh.  And we will all remember that it was on an early May afternoon that...C. Johnson?  Chris maybe?  That it was on this day that C. Johnson took his first steps towards his unanimous MVP award.

Coming home to face the Diamondbacks never to win again yaaaaay.

Blue Jays 8, Rangers 7; Blue Jays 11, Rangers 5: Hooray, and yet Dang

meathead jubilation
When you find out that a game you bailed on ended with a walk-off home run for the good guys, what can you do but feel like the merest fool? Then, the next day, when you do not realize the series is wrapping up with a day game because you inexplicably do not keep a 2012 pocket schedule on you at all times, you are left feeling even worse. The Rangers are the best team in baseball, and the Blue Jays just took a glorious two out of three from them, and I missed all the best parts. I need to get way better at watching baseball. 


Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Rangers 4, Blue Jays 1: Yu Darvish: Good Pitcher

Even before last night, I knew it would have been awesome had the Blue Jays actually won the auction for Yu Darvish, so imagine how I feel now! Let's hear it for E5, though, who hit another home run. That guy, man. The problem was just how he was being used; the problem was never him, except for when it actually was him, kind of.


Astros 4, Mets 3 - Everything Was Going So Well

Well, what started out looking like it could turn into a pretty rad night quickly got pretty lame as the Mets lost to the Astros of all teams on Monday.  St. Dickey had pitched five innings without allowing a hit, and I seriously believe the Mets will NEVER get a no-hitter as long as Gary Cohen is announcing, because he just cannot wait to tell the audience how many hits a pitcher has allowed.  No sooner had the words left his mouth on Monday than the leadoff hitter in the sixth inning poked a little flare over David Wright's head and THAT WAS THE BALLGAME, G'NIGHT FOLKS. 

Well, not really, but that was the inning where the Astros put up three runs, mostly due to a home run by Matt Downs, who I'm still not certain isn't a minor leaguer who showed up to the major league team by accident and nobody had the heart to tell him to go back to the AAA team and oh wow, he hit a home run.  

The Mets put up a little fight in the game, scoring three runs to tie in the top of the seventh and then Scott Hairston JUST missed a two-run homer that would have given the Mets a nice cushion, but it was caught on the warning track by some guy.  I feel like the Astros are just teeming with a bunch of regular dudes, especially on nights when Wandy Rodriguez isn't pitching and Carlos Lee is out of the lineup (as occurred tonight).   They are so bad that it is painful that the Mets won't be able to sweep them, and I am convinced this is the end of the season.  

Also, if I ask you to guess the losing pitcher and you tell me Manny Acosta, then it becomes clear that A) you have been reading Baseball Feelings all season and B) you pay close or almost no attention to baseball at all, since even people who don't know what baseball is know that Manny Acosta is horrible.

POSITIVES:  A multi-hit game from Ike Davis and Captain Kirk, and a solid start from Dickey help mitigate somewhat the stink of this loss to this putrid team.  Almost.  
Niese tomorrow though, perfect game please!