NATS (41-25) BETTER THAN CUBS FIVE DAYS AGO

 12-inning pitchers' 
 duel, won by walk-off hit by 
 caveman Jayson Werth 

 post-game interview - he cursed, 
 which dork fans thought was edgy 

NATS RISE TO GLORY game twenty-six

Jayson Werth, batting a solid .159 thus far, somehow finagled himself on base and was knocked in by Ryan Zimmerman in the top of the 1st yesterday. This was the only run the Nationals scored ALL FUCKING LONG ASS SUNDAY LAST OF SERIES GAME. Luckily, Doug Fister (& the bullpen) scattered 5 hits for 0 runs, and for the second day in a row, the Nationals pulled off a 1-0 victory on the road against division leading team. (I don't know that for sure, I'm just making assumptions to be honest. I've yet to even look at standings this season. It just turned May. Looking at standings is at the very least a June thing, and not really something you fret over until halfway through July at the earliest.) So we start the week (lol "we") with a home series against the Marlins. DARE THIS TEAM GET BACK TO .500, WHERE THEY'VE ONLY BEEN ONE DAY OTHER THAN OPENING DAY ALL SEASON?
Nats are 12-14.

NATS RISE TO GLORY game seven

Man, I am no traditionalist by any means, unless we are talking pre-traditional traditionalist. Like, I would appreciate naked witches in the woods like a mufucka. But unfortunately in American stuff, when you say traditionalist, you don't mean like old world ancient awesome shit but stuff from a little while back, like when they burned witches and shit. But inter-league baseball is already slightly weird to me, but for it to happen so early in the year, before baseball even starts in our real heads. This game today was apparently the Boston Red Sox home opener. How the fuck do you home opener against the other league? That's wacky.
I can imagine no more wretched place on earth than a Boston Red Sox home opener, after a long disgusting winter full of like 10 ft of snow, drunken misanthropic misfits of the rest of the earth blossoming along with the spring buds, ready to get wicked wasted & fuck shit up in a tank top, crude stick & poke tattoos exposed for all the drunk Irish cops to make note of. But that's what happened today for my barely followed but pretend beloved Washington Nationals. Apparently the Nats treated it like still spring training, as the Red Sox posted 8 runs on the big green monster scoreboard in the first 3 innings, so the rest of the game was just a reason to get even more wasted and probably yell really horrible shit to Bryce Harper and Jayson Werth. By the way, congratulation overpaid beardo fucker who seems kinda chill by athlete standards by kinda unchill by actual human standards Jayson Werth - you have already gotten off the DL for the first time this season. Again, your Rise to Glory may not be as no doubtful as one would think if already one of the top paid dudes is getting off the DL, and we haven't even gotten to May. But oh well, it is baseball. Thus it's a slow and overthought process, where I already question if somehow it is my fault they are losing because I chose the "Rise to Glory" catchphrase. Already I am thinking of changing it, and we are only seven games into this shit.
Nats are 2-5.

Curly W 18-9

Natty Gio came thru again

HRs galore (at least by Nats standards, where more than one = galore)

Philly crushage, and tomorrow there is possibility of a sweep

AND the Caps won

Curly W 3-2

Werth

fuck you Mets

also Ross Detwiler looked awesome

or sounded awesome as I listened not looked

the soothing sounds of AM play-by-play calls

I shall snooze an ancient American content snooze tonight