Tuesday, May 31, 2016

NATS (31-21) BETTER THAN PHILLIES YESTERDAY

 the fear of Harper 
 has given Daniel Murphy 
 chance to fucking shine 

 he's literally cleaning 
 up at the plate - winning, bro 

NATS (30-21) BETTER THAN CARDINALS TWO DAYS AGO

 bionic Strasborg 
 now 9-0 this season; 
 Cardinals crushage! 

 which will last longer - Dusty's 
 orders or Strasborg's elbow? 

NATS (29-21) WORSE THAN CARDINALS THREE DAYS AGO

 let's be real - there are 
 too many damned baseball games 
 in normal season 

 ultimately, all this shit 
 is meaningless when you're dead 

Saturday, May 28, 2016

NATS (29-20) WORSE THAN CARDINALS TONIGHT

 fuckin' Max Scherzer 
 got waxed in the 3rd inning, 
 pretty much game done 

 dumbass people can turn hats 
 inside out - it don't matter 

Friday, May 27, 2016

NATS (29-19) BETTER THAN CARDINALS

 Harper's been somewhat 
 homerless, but crushed third-deck 
 bomb sans batting gloves 

 youthful precocious swagger 
 helped kill bastard Cardinals 

Wednesday, May 25, 2016

NATS (28-19) WORSE THAN METS EARLIER TODAY

 early afternoon 
 game early enough could've 
 watched at work online 

 but I forgot plus work was 
 worklike and shit; plus, Nats lost 

NATS (28-18) BETTER THAN METS LAST NIGHT

 interesting stat - 
 since June 23rd last 
 year, when Strasborg starts...

 Nats are 21 and 2; 
 that's solid as fucking fuck 

Tuesday, May 24, 2016

NATS (27-18) WORSE THAN METS LAST NIGHT

 Bartolo Colon 
 and Metropolitans got 
 measure of revenge 

 hard not to love Bartolo's 
 old abuelo-looking ass 

Monday, May 23, 2016

NATS (27-17) BETTER THAN MARLINS YESTERDAY

 by time Maximum 
 Scherzer gave up two runs in 
 7th, was up 6 

 Harper/Murphy as meat of 
 batting order could get wild 

NATS (26-17) WORSE THAN MARLINS TWO DAYS AGO

 post-finger blister 
 Joe Ross remains a "loss" cause - 
 eating innings though!

 ahh - stupid fucking baseball, 
 having people eat innings 

NATS (26-16) BETTER THAN MARLINS THREE DAYS AGO

 trip to Miami's 
 stadium monstrosity, 
 "psychedelic" place 

 baseball psychedelic's false, 
 always, unless Dock Ellis 

Friday, May 20, 2016

NATS (25-16) BETTER THAN METS LAST NIGHT

 at quarter mark - a 
 dominant performance at 
 division rival 

 these are the games which compose 
 great seasons, but we need more 

Thursday, May 19, 2016

NATS (24-16) BETTER THAN METS LAST NIGHT

 Gio Gonzales 
 has grown lustrous shaggy mop - 
 perfect pitcher's hair 

 Bartolo Colon is what... 
 a thousand years old? Nats win! 

NATS (23-16) WORSE THAN METS TWO DAYS AGO

 Maximum Scherzer 
 outdueled in divisional 
 rival pitching duel 

 if I've not mentioned how much 
 I hate the Mets - I hate them 

NATS (23-15) WORSE THAN MARLINS FOUR DAYS AGO

 how the fuck is Nats 
 gonna split home series in 
 half with damn Marlins? 

 I know it's a marathon 
 not a sprint, but I don't know 

NATS (23-14) WORSE THAN MARLINS FIVE DAYS AGO

 Bryce Harper quickly 
 dropped single-game suspension 
 appeal, sat one out 

 night cap throwaway to May 
 double-header, without star 

NATS (23-13) BETTER THAN MARLINS FIVE DAYS AGO

 old-timey day/night 
 double-header - early game 
 with lots of scoring 

 that's the only way to keep 
 people awake for both games 

Friday, May 13, 2016

NATS (22-13) BETTER THAN MARLINS TONIGHT

 seems like Bryce Harper 
 has been quieter, other 
 than that ejection 

 he yanked game-winning homer 
 though, angrily fired back up 

Wednesday, May 11, 2016

NATS (21-13) BETTER THAN TIGERS TONIGHT

 writing thirty-one 
 syllables times one hundred 
 and sixty-two games 

 that's just over five thousand 
 idiotic syllables 

Tuesday, May 10, 2016

NATS (20-13) WORSE THAN TIGERS TONIGHT

 WHAT HAS GONE WRONG WITH 
 JOE ROSS, EARLY FAVORITE 
 TO THIS DUMB SEASON? 

 POST-BLISTER, HE HAS REALLY 
 STRUGGLED! (also, Strasborg's rich) 

NATS (20-12) BETTER THAN TIGERS LAST NIGHT

 after 4-game sweep, 
 Clint Robinson's (who?) walk-off 
 homer was needed 

 and yet, the Nats find themselves 
 second in the division 

NATS (19-12) WORSE THAN CUBS 2 DAYS AGO

 13th inning loss 
 completes competitive 
 but painful sweep 

 on the plus though, offense smashed
 ace Arrieta off in 5 

NATS (19-11) WORSE THAN CUBS 3 DAYS AGO

 I was in Maine, tuned 
 out from digital affairs, 
 so *missed* whole series 

 baseball so slow and boring 
 you can easily miss months 

NATS (19-10) WORSE THAN CUBS 4 DAYS AGO

 pitchers duel betwixt 
 Maximum Scherzer and John 
 Lackey was promised 

 Maximum Scherzer shaky 
 as fuck though - should we worry? 

NATS (19-9) WORSE THAN CUBS 5 DAYS AGO

 Joe Ross held these Cubs 
 to only 2 runs over 
 near 7 innings 

 bullpen added 3, offense 
 got 2; Joe Ross's first loss 

NATS (19-8) BETTER THAN ROYALS SIX DAYS AGO

 offense had given 
 13 runs before Strasborg 
 retired to dugout 

 who the fuck ain't gonna win 
 a rubber stamp game like that? 

NATS (18-8) WORSE THAN ROYALS A WEEK AGO

 Jonny Papelbon 
 faced seven batters for save, 
 gave up three runs, lost 

 walk off road losses might hurt, 
 but shitty humans hurt worse 

Tuesday, May 3, 2016

NATS (18-7) BETTER THAN ROYALS TONIGHT

 Edinson Volquez 
 (of flat brim fame) reunites 
 with Dusty Baker 

 Gio kept it scattered but 
 smothered, two-run 1st - Nats win 

Monday, May 2, 2016

NATS (17-7) BETTER THAN CARDINALS YESTERDAY

 Maximum Scherzer 
 back to maximized effect, 
 plus offense firing 

 after swept by Phillies, 
 Nats sweep godless Cardinals 

NATS (16-7) BETTER THAN CARDINALS TWO DAYS AGO

 Joe Ross's blister 
 seems to have subsided, so 
 Nats dominated 

 has this Joe Ross dude become 
 defacto Nats spinal cord? 

NATS (15-7) BETTER THAN CARDINALS THREE DAYS AGO

 after shakey 1st, 
 Strasborg finagled his way 
 through seven innings 

 scrappy road win powered by 
 4-run 4th to end April 

NATS (14-7) WORSE THAN PHILLIES FOUR DAYS AGO

 not just a sweep by 
 divisional rivals, but 
 painful, ugly sweep 

 last two games - six hits combined 
 for zero runs; still early though 

NATS (14-6) WORSE THAN PHILLIES FIVE DAYS AGO

 offensive goose eggs, 
 two measley ass hits the whole 
 game - the fuck is this? 

 Harper gonna be walking 
 more than prime-time Barry Bonds 

NATS (14-5) WORSE THAN PHILLIES SIX DAYS AGO

 Maximum Scherzer 
 had minimal first inning, 
 never overcame 

 who cares though, since the Flyers 
 caught Stanely Cup piledrivers?