NATS (50-34) WORSE THAN BREWERS SEVEN DAYS AGO

 capital city 
 team called Nationals - 4th of 
 July holiday 

 only thing that can beat us? 
 alcoholism (Brewers) 

NATS (35-23) BETTER THAN WHITE SOX LAST NIGHT

 inter-league game, so 
 DH in effect; what if 
 pitcher could hit good? 

 what if they used the DH 
 position for non-pitcher? 

NATS (33-21) BETTER THAN PHILLIES FIVE DAYS AGO

 emailed a finance 
 dude who's Phillies fan at work 
 picture of a broom 

 this was the whitest moment 
 of my whole life, easily 

NATS (28-19) WORSE THAN METS EARLIER TODAY

 early afternoon 
 game early enough could've 
 watched at work online 

 but I forgot plus work was 
 worklike and shit; plus, Nats lost 

NATS (26-17) WORSE THAN MARLINS TWO DAYS AGO

 post-finger blister 
 Joe Ross remains a "loss" cause - 
 eating innings though!

 ahh - stupid fucking baseball, 
 having people eat innings 

NATS (21-13) BETTER THAN TIGERS TONIGHT

 writing thirty-one 
 syllables times one hundred 
 and sixty-two games 

 that's just over five thousand 
 idiotic syllables 

NATS (13-4) BETTER THAN TWINS YESTERDAY

 April interleague 
 baseball is as exciting 
 as shit even gets 

 do Twins still have that dumbass 
 catcher Maury Povich dude? 

NATS (9-3) WORSE THAN MARLINS YESTERDAY

 honestly sort of 
 halfway happy they're on a 
 two-game losing streak 

 it's only fucking April; 
 don't be peaking too early 

NATS (8-1) WAY BETTER THAN PHILLIES LAST NIGHT

 Harper homered, five 
 top of first inning runs scored, 
 game over quickly 

 Joe Ross the team ace thus far? 
 I didn't see that shit coming 

NATS (6-1) BETTER THAN BRAVES TONIGHT

 Strasborg had got sick, 
 so Tanner Roark threw seven 
 scoreless innings, bruh 

 Tanner Roark is only kid 
 from Bad News Bears to make pros 

NATS (4-1) BETTER THAN BRAVES TONIGHT

 googling the boxscore 
 trying to find out enough 
 shit to write five lines 

 my internet's maxed out though 
 'til data resets next week 

NATS (2-0) BETTER THAN BRAVES TODAY

 first week of baseball 
 is staggered bullshit hodgepodge 
 of opening days 

 three-day two-game series wraps 
 up - NATS ARE UNDEFEATED!