Madison Bumgarner Leads Rowand- and Tejada-less Giants to Victory

THIS IS YOUR NEW GOD

I've said it before, but Madison Bumgarner is capable of wondrous, glorious things. This is his age-21 season and everything apart from his meaningless W-L record and one historically disastrous inning indicates he's one of the very, very best pitchers in the game and only getting better.

The Giants jettisoned the steaming husks of Aaron Rowand and Michael Tejada on Thursday, and Bumgarner took the hill to end the Giants' losing skid, hold the Cubs to 2 hits and no runs in 8 innings while striking out 11 against an all-right-handed lineup. This was a phenomenal, phenomenal pitching performance. He was assisted by the unstoppable bat of Jeff Keppinger, the furious bunt assault dished out by Giants hitters, and a laughing, joking squad behind him that was playing their asses off and looking like they were having the time of their lives for the first time in a long, long, LONG time.

Perhaps Rowand and Tejada were the grumpiest old gritters that ever gamered up the clubhouse. Maybe after every loss, Tejowand would push Brandon Belt to the ground and wedgie him without remorse while taunting all of the starters. Perhaps atomic situps were involved. We'll never know. But the Giants looked loose and happy on Thursday, and as much fun as Rowand's batting stance was, we'll never have to worry about him coming in to strike out on three pitches in a key pinch-hit situation. That's great. That's so great.

The Diamondbacks arrive tonight, and the Giants have the potential to make up up to three games in the standings in one weekend. Lincecum, Cain, and Vogelsong will be pitching. The rosters have expanded and have brought with them Bret Pill, Pat Burrell, Brandon Crawford, and...miscellaneous. The offense scored four runs in their last game. Brandon Belt met a literal baby giraffe. I expect the Giants to take one of three, but they can do this. They can really, really do this. This is the true trial by fire for the G-men tonight. If they take this series, they can realistically stay in the race. If they get stomped like they did the last time the Diamondbacks were in town, that's pretty much the end.

Here we go.

Giants Lose to the Cubs 5-2 in 13 Innings

I know, Matty. I know.

If you had to have two words to describe the 2011 Giants, it would probably be "WASTED OPPORTUNITIES."

The Giants blow two leads after the Cubs get down to their last out (their last strike, twice!), Matt Cain gives up no runs in seven innings, Brian Wilson gives up his first home run of the year, and the phenomenal bullpen gives the Cubs two walk-off wins in two days.

This was a butthole of a game. An enormous, stinky butthole. The Giants wasted a million trillion opportunities here and they can go to hell. They probably won't win another game for the rest of the season.

Feelings.

- Bill

what did i miss

Yep, that's sixteen strikeouts.

My vacation did not begin well for the Giants. Although they took two out of three in the desert and left the godless wasteland of Arizona 1.5 games in first place, little did they know that their offense was about to completely crater (I mean moreso), and they would be swept by the A's in Oakland before returning home, where Madison Bumgarner pitched an historically awful third of an inning and left the game in disgrace. They dropped that first game against the Twins, their fifth straight loss, and fell a game and a half behind the Diamondbacks.

But then, thanks to the Twins playing like their gloves were made of radioactive scorpions, the Giants took the next two games and the series. Then the Indians came to town, and played the first game of the series like their gloves were made of a Twins player who had a glove made of radioactive scorpions. The second game of the series was won on two errors and a clutch balk. Brian Wilson racked up four saves in four days.

If you caught the Giants' nationally-televised game last night, you might be fooled into thinking that the G-men have a thoroughly average offense. Do not be fooled. They have a pathetic offense worthy of all the ridicule they receive. But the pitching. Sweet sassy molassy, that beautiful bean pitching.

Tim Lincecum shook of his shaky-start streak and hurled a seven-inning, 12-strikeout classic. Madison Bumgarner went "LOL what Twins game" and struck out a career-high 11 batters through seven innings while giving up one earned run. Ryan Vogelsong keeps being Ryan Vogelsong v2.0, which is fantastic. The bullpen has played out-of-their-minds good since that awful, awful Bumgarner start. Jeremy Affeldt has pulled the craziest 180 of any previously-lousy bullpen guy I've ever seen. He pitched two innings yesterday and struck out five of the seven batters he faced on something like 20 pitches. The Indians had absolutely no idea what was going on. The drone of the ESPN announcers faded away and every time Affeldt threw, there was a massive explosion sound. It was...phenomenal.

So the Giants have a Major League-best five-game winning streak going on, have the second-best record in baseball since May 3, and are (thanks to Neil's Tigers) once again in first place, all while scoring -2 runs over the past ten games. Perhaps best of all, tomorrow brings that most special of gifts: a double-header at Chicago. This is a crazy season of baseball, everyone. I hope it never ends.

- Bill

CUBS WIN! CUBS WIN! CUBS WIN!

Actually they didn't, because there isn't any baseball right now, because it is winter, as you can clearly see from the above photograph of the recently vandalized Harry Caray statue outside Wrigley Field.  Here's the very brief story, which suggests -- quite rightly, I think -- that "[t]he graffiti said 'Sox' and a second, illegible word."  Police are so far unwilling or unable to confirm the rumour that Ozzie Guillen is being held for questioning, in part because I just started it now and also because I haven't asked them.  


KS