Vogelsong and Bumgarner Get 13th Wins Against Colorado

Take a breather, Conor.

The Giants have taken the first two of their last series of the year. A 3-1 typical Giants victory behind Ryan Vogelsong, who finishes the season in the top 5 of NL ERA leaders, and if he doesn't win NL Comeback Player of the Year then why even have the award, man? Then Madison Bumgarner held the Rockies scoreless, becoming just the fifth Giants player ever to finish the season with a K/BB ratio of more than 4.00 which is just insane. This was his year 21 season and he is already an ace on most MLB teams. INSANE. This dude is going to be something else for years and years.

Conor Gillaspie hit his first home run last night, an inside-the-parker. Please enjoy a .gif, courtesy of Find the Swagger.

The Giants try to avoid the sweep today by not starting Matt Cain, as scheduled, opting instead to go with Eric Surkamp on three days' "rest." (Quotation marks because he didn't make it out of the first inning in his last start so look for today's game to end up being something like 25-1 Rockies.)

Pat Burrell will start today for the Giants, possibly his last start ever. If Cody Ross doesn't pinch-hit today, which he's unlikely to do, it may be his last time in a Giants uniform. Eli Whiteside can please let the door hit him on the ass on the way out. Andres Torres may be non-tendered a contract in the offseason. Brett Pill will probably be next year's backup 1B. Brandon Belt went 3-for-3 last night with a walk and his first splash hit, which was a legit bomb. He'll probably be next year's everyday left fielder, because Aubrey Huff. Carlos Beltran is probably only signing with the Giants if they sign Jimmy Rollins, Prince Fielder, AND Albert Pujols and trade for Jose Bautista, so look for him to light his jersey on fire in the dugout mere seconds after the last out is made today.

It has been the craziest season, man. I will watch today's game with sadness and hope and love, and await PLAYOFF BASEBALL and of course, wait 'til next year.

Giants Lose 3-0 in Giants-Like Fashion

Latin Heritage Night, which always precedes the Jingoistic Patriotism Cotillion.

Last month, when the Giants were struggling game after game at the plate, there was this sense of, "Man alive, this is some kind of lousy slump. Statistically, there's no way these hitters are this bad. Just no way. Positive regression to the mean is inevitable. Just gonna have to wait this one out." Sadly, it's now gotten to the point where you watch the games and you can't help but think, "Geez, even with a healthy Posey and Sanchez next year, the Giants are really going to have to break the bank on some free agents or this team isn't scoring any more runs again, ever." Of course, it always seems much worse than hopeless when your team isn't scoring runs or getting hits for game after game after game, but looking at these poor guys, they all just seem broken. It's going to be a long wait for 2012.

Another masterful Giants pitching performance went to waste tonight. Ryan Vogelsong kept up his spectacular comeback season, going 8 innings with 6 strikeouts, 1 walk and 3ER. Of course, if you're a Giants pitcher, there are two options: shutout or loss. Dodgers pitcher Dana "Who?" Eveland held the Giants scoreless for 7+ innings, because the Giants.

In good news, Aubrey Huff didn't start for the fourth game in a row, and there was a Brandon Belt sighting! Belt got a hit off of a LHP, dispelling a popular Bochy myth, and is rumored to be getting another start tomorrow. Fingers crossed on that one. Huff did get a key pinch hit AB with runners at the corners and nobody out in the bottom of the eighth inning. Luckily, he struck out on three pitches, because Aubrey Huff.

The Dodgers are threatening to overtake the Giants and finish the season in second place, and the Giants seem the very picture of indifference in the face of that prospect. It must be a real lousy time to be a player in that clubhouse, and that's a shame because it's a real great group of guys that have been absolutely sucked dry by this travesty of a season.

Madison Bumgarner Leads Rowand- and Tejada-less Giants to Victory

THIS IS YOUR NEW GOD

I've said it before, but Madison Bumgarner is capable of wondrous, glorious things. This is his age-21 season and everything apart from his meaningless W-L record and one historically disastrous inning indicates he's one of the very, very best pitchers in the game and only getting better.

The Giants jettisoned the steaming husks of Aaron Rowand and Michael Tejada on Thursday, and Bumgarner took the hill to end the Giants' losing skid, hold the Cubs to 2 hits and no runs in 8 innings while striking out 11 against an all-right-handed lineup. This was a phenomenal, phenomenal pitching performance. He was assisted by the unstoppable bat of Jeff Keppinger, the furious bunt assault dished out by Giants hitters, and a laughing, joking squad behind him that was playing their asses off and looking like they were having the time of their lives for the first time in a long, long, LONG time.

Perhaps Rowand and Tejada were the grumpiest old gritters that ever gamered up the clubhouse. Maybe after every loss, Tejowand would push Brandon Belt to the ground and wedgie him without remorse while taunting all of the starters. Perhaps atomic situps were involved. We'll never know. But the Giants looked loose and happy on Thursday, and as much fun as Rowand's batting stance was, we'll never have to worry about him coming in to strike out on three pitches in a key pinch-hit situation. That's great. That's so great.

The Diamondbacks arrive tonight, and the Giants have the potential to make up up to three games in the standings in one weekend. Lincecum, Cain, and Vogelsong will be pitching. The rosters have expanded and have brought with them Bret Pill, Pat Burrell, Brandon Crawford, and...miscellaneous. The offense scored four runs in their last game. Brandon Belt met a literal baby giraffe. I expect the Giants to take one of three, but they can do this. They can really, really do this. This is the true trial by fire for the G-men tonight. If they take this series, they can realistically stay in the race. If they get stomped like they did the last time the Diamondbacks were in town, that's pretty much the end.

Here we go.

Diamondbacks Can't Handle First Place, Giants Win 8-1

So...dreamy....

The Giants did their best impression of a passable major-league offense today, snapping a five-game losing streak, wrenching sole possession of first place from the Diamondbacks, and placing Ryan Vogelsong once again atop the ERA leader board.

The Giants trotted out what seemed like a fairly laughable offense today, including Orlando Cabrera batting fifth behind Carlos Beltran. But hey! It all worked out just fine, as the Giants exploded against notable "Giant-killers" and new Diamondbacks acquisitions Jason Marquis and Brad "Dolph" Ziegler. Cabrera had three RsBI today! Three!

So yeah: feels good, man. I'm not convinced the Giants didn't use up two weeks' worth of runs, and I certainly don't think the Giants turned any sort of corner. And with the Phillies coming in for four games, so it's definitely still panic time. Especially since the Diamondbacks have an off day, then host the Dodgers, Astros, and Mets.

PLAYOFF FEVER HAS BEEN CAUGHT

Giants Over Dodgers, 5-0

Herpin' my derp like yeah

Ryan Vogelsong qualified for, and now leads, the National League in ERA. Pablo Sandoval hit just the most massive home run. The defense was awesome. This was a nice, comfortable game. Maybe the first one this season. Refreshing.

The Brewers blew it in the desert, and today I found out that the Brew Crew just stinks on ice on the road this season. Hopefully that bears out when they come to AT&T in a few days, and also hopefully they get their act together and stomp on some snakes today. Just once guys, okay?

Today the Giants draw Rubby De La Rosa, who irks me endlessly because his name is "Rubby" BUT IT IS SOMEHOW NOT PRONOUNCED "RUBBY." The nerve of that guy. Hopefully the Giants can keep it up against him tonight, because tomorrow is Clayton Kershaw, and we all know how that one is playing out.

Injury news: Miguel Tejada went down with a lower ab strain, but somehow Aubrey Huff persists. Brandon Belt languishes. Aubrey Huff will outlive us all, smirking at us from above his massive soul patch. Aubrey Huff hit above Cody Ross in the order today. Guess which one didn't get two hits. I'm not calling for snipers at AT&T, because we know the lengths Bochy will go to in order to start a rookie over a gritty veteran. I'm not wishing for the possibility of injury to Aubrey Huff. I am honestly wishing for him to quit his Human Star Trek routine of only being good during even-numbered years. I am just thinking out loud, dudes. I am just saying.

Giants Take Pity, Lose to Tigers 6-3

what kind of high five is that? come on man

Amidst all the brouhaha of the All-Star selections today, the Giants jumped out to an early lead behind Ryan Vogelsong. Midway through the game, they noticed the Indians were about to lose to the Reds, so they flubbed a couple of plays, coughed up a few walks, hit into some lucky catches, and allowed the Tigers to close the gap in their playoff race. You know, because they've been so hospitable.

Anyway, lots more WASTED OPPORTUNITIES in this one, like stranding more leadoff doubles, not getting third outs on easy plays, etc etc.

Hard to feel bad about a 4-3 road trip, but let's see what the rest of the way to the All-Star break has in store.

GAME ONE: Giants Win...13-7? Must be a Typo

DJ Qualls avoids the tag

It has been said before, but it bears repeating: if Miguel Tejada hits a home run in a baseball game, all bets are off.

That was a weird game that should have been a lot more fun than it was. The Giants score three in the top of the first, the Cubs tie it in the second, then in the third the Giants get three more, thanks in part to a GAMMA BOMB out of Wrigley by Pat Burrell as part of his three-hit day.

The Giants never stopped adding runs after that, but Ryan Vogelsong had his worst start of the season. By which I mean he allowed three earned runs in five innings and got the win. One thing must be noted here: Bill Hall had a truly abysmal game both at the plate and in the field. Had he not been playing second base, the final score would have been closer to 13-7. Hall dropped a double-play ball hit right to him, failed to cover first base on a bunt in a bunt situation where the hitter squared to bunt before the windup, and deflected no less than two sure-out ground balls. If he starts game two, we riot.

Anyway, a win is a win is a win. You would think the Giants bats are coming alive at long last, but with all the light-hitting youngsters starting game two tonight (as opposed to the light-hitting oldsters that started game one), I'm expecting the win streak to end at six this evening as the Giants get shut out. Stay tuned!

- Bill

Boringest Story, Played on Least Interesting Guitar: Giants Lose, 2-1

'Bochy Prepares to Devour His Starter' - Goya, c. 1819-1823

The Giants had a second inning that consisted of a leadoff triple, followed by a double, before recording an out, and only scored one run. So it goes with a lousy, lousy, lousy offense. The Giants pitching and bullpen and defense (tonight at least) are so good that Jonathan Sanchez had a fairly crummy outing featuring a boatload of walks through five and only allowed two runs. Insurmountable. The Giants only -- only! -- left five on base tonight. The Nationals left eleven.So I guess they were technically less efficient than the Giants? That's something.

Get some bats, dudes. I can think of a dude you can use for trade bait. That Jonathan Sanchez guy. We've got Ryan Vogelsong now, and he's the new hotness.

Q: How do you erase the good vibes and fuzzy feelings associated with last night's instant-classic extra-innings victory?

A: Play a game like this.

RYAN. VOGELSONG. Giants Win, 2-1

Pat found those "rad stilts" at a church rummage sale and it tickles him so.

Ryan Vogelsong, man. Dude is...amazing. McCovey Chronicles puts it succinctly:

"Juan Marichal never had a run of six straight starts allowing one earned run or fewer. Neither has Tim Lincecum. Gaylord Perry or Carl Hubbell never did it.

Ryan Vogelsong."

Why this dude isn't in every conversation about best pitcher in the NL is completely beyond me. Dude is an enormous upgrade over Zito and the one and only good-news Giants injury story this season.

As the Giants were being no-hit through six innings, I found myself thinking that Pablo Sandoval's imminent return in the next week is the longest wait for offense ever. Today's come-from-behind win alleviates that a little. Tejada had two hits, Huff had none. Belt is on the disabled list along with basically everyone.

The Giants are still winning ballgames and it is pretty awesome when they do, and unbelievably frustrating when they don't. So it goes. I'll take a series win over the loathsome Rockies any day. The stupid Diamondbacks won't stop winning ballgames, and even though the Nationals -- maybe the second-worst team in baseball right now -- are coming to town tomorrow, the Giants will probably be lucky to take two of three given the state of this friggin' team.

Giants vs. Nationals tomorrow. Lincecum on the hill. PRAY FOR JUSTICE

Ryan Vogelsong Has the Nerve to Allow One Run, Giants Lose 1-0

THE UNMITIGATED GALL

Well, this went about as well as expected on The Day After. Posey wouldn't have started today anyway, given he caught 12 innings of baseball last night, but the amazing, AMAZING news was that Brandon Belt was called up today and got to watch Aubrey Huff swing and miss at balls in the dirt roughly a million and twelve times.

Great takeaways: Ryan Vogelsong looks like he's really for real, really. He went eight strong and walked one and allowed one measly run. The Giants never had a chance from that point on.

Rumors are still flying fast and heavy about Posey's injury, how long he'll be out, and who the Giants might try to make a deal for in a vain attempt to snag an above-average rental catcher. It would all be pretty funny if not for the palpable regret. Giants get swept at home and hit the road to meet up with the red-hot Brewers. Hey, there's only holes at first, third, short, and catcher now. Things are looking up!

Giants Please Thor, Odin, Zeus, et al, Win Shortened game 3-0

Trust the Gorton's Fisher-Man

Ryan Vogelsong continues to be the Giants' good-luck charm. Not only are the Giants 4-0 in Vogelsong's starts, but he managed to tear the sky asunder, bringing with him a maelstrom of terrible playing conditions that allowed him to toss his first complete-game shutout by putting in only six innings of work.

By all accounts, it was a truly miserable couple of hours that carried over, postponing today's game and pushing Tim Lincecum's start back a day, allowing him to open tomorrow's big two-game series in Colorado. On the downside, we won't get to see Tejada and DeRosa flail at Zambrano's stuff all day today.

What's that? How did Tejada do yesterday, playing in the soup? He went 0-for-3 with two errors. why do you ask?

Ross the Boss Releases Kraken, Giants Win 3-0, Sweep Rockies

Cody Ross returned from wherever the hell he went, driving in all three Giants runs, included a pink-batted home run, his first of the year.

Ryan Vogelsong continues to be the best Barry Zito replacement ever, pitching five perfect innings. He ended up going six and a third, giving up two hits and a walk, and nothing else. The Giants bullpen continues their dominance, and the Giants captured their first sweep of the season and...get this...their first Sunday win of the season. Happy Mother's Day, Giants fans!

With the sweep, the Giants now sit only one game behind the Rockies in the National League West. Oh, Michael Tejada went 0-for-3. He's now hitting a blistering .195. Andres Torres and Mark DeRosa return from the DL this week. Tejada will probably be "getting some time off," since Operation: Bat Mike Fontenot Third is rolling steadily along.