Giants Lose 3-0 in Giants-Like Fashion

Latin Heritage Night, which always precedes the Jingoistic Patriotism Cotillion.

Last month, when the Giants were struggling game after game at the plate, there was this sense of, "Man alive, this is some kind of lousy slump. Statistically, there's no way these hitters are this bad. Just no way. Positive regression to the mean is inevitable. Just gonna have to wait this one out." Sadly, it's now gotten to the point where you watch the games and you can't help but think, "Geez, even with a healthy Posey and Sanchez next year, the Giants are really going to have to break the bank on some free agents or this team isn't scoring any more runs again, ever." Of course, it always seems much worse than hopeless when your team isn't scoring runs or getting hits for game after game after game, but looking at these poor guys, they all just seem broken. It's going to be a long wait for 2012.

Another masterful Giants pitching performance went to waste tonight. Ryan Vogelsong kept up his spectacular comeback season, going 8 innings with 6 strikeouts, 1 walk and 3ER. Of course, if you're a Giants pitcher, there are two options: shutout or loss. Dodgers pitcher Dana "Who?" Eveland held the Giants scoreless for 7+ innings, because the Giants.

In good news, Aubrey Huff didn't start for the fourth game in a row, and there was a Brandon Belt sighting! Belt got a hit off of a LHP, dispelling a popular Bochy myth, and is rumored to be getting another start tomorrow. Fingers crossed on that one. Huff did get a key pinch hit AB with runners at the corners and nobody out in the bottom of the eighth inning. Luckily, he struck out on three pitches, because Aubrey Huff.

The Dodgers are threatening to overtake the Giants and finish the season in second place, and the Giants seem the very picture of indifference in the face of that prospect. It must be a real lousy time to be a player in that clubhouse, and that's a shame because it's a real great group of guys that have been absolutely sucked dry by this travesty of a season.

Brandon Belt Can't Do It By Himself: Giants Win 6-4 in 11

Bochy showed remarkable restraint not striking Runzler dead right there.

For once, the Giants almost lost a game due more to terrible starting pitching and worse luck than a completely anemic offense. After taking a 3-0 lead in the second inning behind a Brandon Belt home run, pinch-starter Dan "Herp de Derp What's a Strike Zone" Runzler gave up four runs in the third inning, then got yanked. It was real bad. The only thing worse was the Giants' luck. Baserunning gaffes, screaming line drives belted directly into Astros gloves, errant pickoff throws that bounce directly back to the second baseman, a wandering strike zone, Giants leadoff hitter reaching base in seven straight innings with no runs scored, and on and on.

It was only a monstrous home run by a Pablo Sandoval (who, until that point, had been 0-for-5 on that day) that allowed the Giants and their poor shellshocked bullpen a way-too-hard-fought win and, for the first time in seemingly forever, brought them within a game and a half of the Diamondbacks. It shouldn't have been like this. They shouldn't have been avoiding an Astros sweep today. An eleventh-inning win over the Houston Astros should not feel like a victory over the 1927 Mecha-Yankees. But such is the state of the team at this point. The Giants take the day off tomorrow to watch the D-Backs rough up the Marlins, then return home for six games against the Padres and Astros. If they take two of those six games, I'll weep fat tears of unimaginable joy.

Belt had four hits today, so it's a good thing he was sent down to Fresno all those times. Really took him to another level.

Giants Are a Bag of Butts, Lose 7-5

"What the dicks is this thing for?"

The first Astros batter of the game, the amazingly awesome Jose Altuve, hit his first career home run, a stand-up inside-the-park job, and it was game over from there on out. To the Giants' credit, they did not get shut out...a rare feat these days. In fact, they scored nearly three runs above what their second-half total has been thus far. The downside is that they have now used up all their runs for the coming homestand, which features another FOUR GAMES against these titans of offense, these unstoppable mashers, the Houston Astros. Also, Brandon Belt went 0-for-4, so we're never going to see him again.

Jonathan Sanchez is unable to start tomorrow's game, so the Giants will be getting swept behind the fearsome arm of whoever-the-hell, and we can put 2011 to bed. The Giants manage to keep pace with the Arizona Diamondbacks by no fault of their own, and it's clear that the NL West is full of despair and ruination and not a whole lot of good baseball. Just kidding, the Diamondbacks are a pretty solid team this year and only getting better in the future, and that is just the worst thing to realize late at night.

Brandon Belt Activates Beast Mode, Giants Win 5-2

"Ayo is this aggressive enough for you?"

At one point this season, after Brandon Belt was sent to Fresno for the umpteenth time, Bruce Bochy remarked something along the lines of, "He's too passive at the plate. I'd like to see him be more aggressive." Just for the record, the average player on the Giants sees barely over 3 pitches per at-bat. Opposing pitchers regularly make it to the eighth inning against the Giants with well under 100 pitches thrown. Pablo Sandoval, a dude who has a reputation for swinging at anything thrown toward the plate and several things thrown to first base, sees by far the most pitches of any everyday Giants player. All of these things are unacceptable from a major league lineup. Brandon Belt methodically works counts with a discerning eye. It is what he does. But Bruce Bochy has basically gone on record as saying, "Man I wish that kid would hack more. Veterans hack at things. You ever watch an Aaron Rowand at-bat? He swings three times and sits down. He swings so hard, you guys. That's a veteran professional ballplayer right there." And then he laces his fingers together behind his gargantuan head and dreams of grit, and sand, and toughness, and above all, those sexy intangibles.

So Brandon Belt got a start today, and he struck out and grounded out, and you could feel Bruce Bochy already drafting a text message to Brian Sabean reading "gotta snd belt back 2 frzno" but then Belt stepped up and was like SHAZAM and cranked a deep first-pitch home run to dead center that was blasted so hard you could hear Marlins pitcher Chris Volstad scream "FUCK" immediately after the crack of the bat, louder than I have ever heard a baseball player scream the word "FUCK." It rang majestically throughout the nearly-empty Joe Robbie Or Whatever Stadium and CSN Bay Area had no qualms showing the replay three times in rapid succession with unadulterated audio, because that's how awesome it was.

WHACK. "FUCK."

CRACK. "FUCK."

KABLAMMO. "FUCK."

So that was pretty awesome. Also awesome? Belt's next time up, he worked the count full and then hit the first home run that lefty Michael Dunn has ever given up to a left-handed batter. Ever. Earlier I suggested that Belt would have to hit four dingers to get Bochy to give him regular starts. He's halfway there now. He has as many home runs this season as either Miguel Tejada or Aaron Rowand, in fewer than a third as many plate appearances.

That sound you just heard is the Baby Giraffe being unleashed. Stay hot, Brandon. Your career may depend on it.