I am breaking my silence to openly speculate that umpires have made a solemn vow to fuck over a Tigers pitcher whenever he has a perfect game or a no-hitter going. Why would they do such a thing? Who knows? These are strange and terrible times and like Heath Ledger's famous character, Patrick Verona aka The Jokesman in the Oscar winning classic 10 Things I Hate About You, some men just want to watch the world burn.
You know who else likes Ten Things I Hate About You? Literally all girls. And they are right!
ReplyDeleteLeave me alone, it's based on Shakespeare! (Also, on estrogen.)
ReplyDelete"I burn! I pine! I perish!"
ReplyDelete"Of course you do."
I lol'd then, and I am lol'ing now. Unashamedly.