Saturday, April 9, 2011

Manny Ramirez: Too Beautiful for Baseball

"Ramirez steps to the plate looking like an unmade bed," as Tom Cheek used to say.
It was surprising, for about a second, to learn yesterday that Manny Ramirez had chosen to retire rather than be suspended for failing another drug test. If it was anybody else, you might have been genuinely puzzled at how this could have happened, but because it was Manny it didn't take all that long to get from disbelief to acceptance on this one, did it? And now, so many feelings. You are welcome to debate where Ramirez, one of the game's all-time great right-handed hitters, is likely to stand with Hall of Fame voters now, and you can talk about tarnished legacies or whatever if that is your preference. But my hope is that you will join me in focusing on what I believe really matters here, and that is that Manny Ramirez was hilarious and awesome, almost unprecedented levels of both. I ask you to love Manny. Love him.


I also ask you to have a look at this Ben McGrath article from 2007, because it owns. 


KS
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6 comments:

  1. AnonymousApril 9, 2011 at 10:00 AM

    Manny Ramirez: Baseball On Friday, Manny Ramirez walked away from baseball on Friday after testing positive for a performance enhancing drug, abruptly ended the career of mercury one of the most talented - and tainted - hitters to ever play the game

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  2. KSApril 9, 2011 at 10:34 AM

    YEAH I KNOW ASSHOLE WHAT DID I JUST SAY

    oh wait you are a machine

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  3. Raven MackApril 9, 2011 at 1:42 PM

    hahah. this actually made me sad because even while he was on the Red Sox, Manny became one of my favorite players. Shit man, Manny Ramirez (along with Pedro) made me actually not despise the Red Sox there for a year, which in itself is absolutely fucking amazing. Having grown up a Giants fan, I also hate the Dodgers, but I was rooting heavily for them the year he took them to the playoffs.
    Good bye noble dreadlocked warrior, you shall be missed. (PS: Come play in DC. You would be the best life coach Bryce Harper could ever get.)

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  4. KSApril 9, 2011 at 3:13 PM

    Ben McGrath again, from the NYer blog, talking about trying to get a word with Manny last year in the visitor's clubhouse:

    Ramirez wasn’t interested in talking, and he demonstrated as much by stretching out on a sofa and surfing channels with the remote control. He settled on CNN. It was Day 61 of the Gulf oil spill, but Ramirez evidently had not yet heard of it. He looked aghast at the images of burning water on the screen, and asked one of his teammates about them. When I muttered a quick question about Ortiz, he smiled and, without making eye contact, said, “The oil spill is leaking.” Then his teammate chimed in, laughing: “Yeah, why do you want to bother Manny when the oil spill is leaking?” Ramirez went two for four that afternoon, with a home run.

    http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/sportingscene/2011/04/manny-ramirez-retirement.html#ixzz1J3DPO0Qj

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  5. NeilApril 9, 2011 at 6:09 PM

    I wish every player was like some combination of Manny Ramirez, Ty Cobb and Willie Ligue, Jr. What a wonderful world this would be.

    I'm sure the Billy Crystal LEAVE THE MEMORIES ALONE types are furiously beating off and sobbing at the same time, their worn Mickey Mantle cards in their hands, crusted over from years of dried semen and tears, bemoaning that their precious precious game has been tainted once again, but fuck them, they have fetishized baseball to the point that baseball might as well be locked up in a trunk in their basement in a gimp suit. They have twisted baseball into something childish and monstrous and ugly, infantile and stupid which speaks to the naive and pig ignorant. Their dicks are stained with pine tar and their hearts with shame. Fuck them.

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  6. Raven MackApril 10, 2011 at 1:16 AM

    that's some hard ass baseball feelings right there neil.

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