Blue Jays 4, Orioles 1: Realistically, I watched the hockey game.

Striking out twelve: apparently no big deal.

You only get so many Stanley Cup Final Game Sevens, so my attention was divided last night. However, I had the baseball game up on MLB Gameday, and thrilled (via text update) to Yunel Escobar's leadoff home run, Adam Lind's two-run shot in the seventh, and Ricky Romero's twelve-K, three-hit eight innings of work. And I was of course certain Frank Francisco would blow it. But he didn't! And so we're good. 


KS

37-31

Baseball, Heh, You Buncha Nerds

FOR GONDOR

I took the night off from baseball last night, and while the rest of you stat geeks were trying to determine the sabermetric value of Carlos Ruiz and whether or not you could fill in Jason Bay's scorecard with a GIDP and two strikeouts BEFORE the game (surprise, he didn't play!) I took in some REAL culture.  

To be more precise, I attended a nearly four-hour screening of The Lord of the Rings that was delayed 90 minutes at the start and featured an audience of several hundred neckbeards and a real-life Gandalf, authentic down to his Teva sandals, economy size tub of popcorn and something that was either a Halloween costume from 10 years ago, or a frayed bathrobe that was the closest thing he could find to attire near his makeshift nest in his mother's laundry room.  

Not having the advantage of a smartphone, I had to wait until after the movie to see what the Mets did, and I was quite happy that despite their best efforts, the Braves were unable to slow down Jose Reyes, Jon Niese kept the recent starting pitching surge going, and for the second time in a week, the Mets were able to touch up one of the league's strongest pitchers, (Jurrgens last night, and Yovani Gallardo last Thursday.)  

While I feel like several dozen "HEY GUYS THAT'S NOT WHAT MONEYBALL MEANS" articles are written every season, this one was welcome to me, because for the first time, people are applying their own misunderstanding of the philosophies of the system to my team, most notably New York's greatest troll, Mike Francesa, who last month said "Reyes is playing for a big Crawford deal…He’s playing his heart out. That said, the Mets won’t sign him. Alderson is a different breed. Forget Jose Reyes, Mets fans. He’s gone. You have a new GM who believes in having a team full of $4-5 million dollar players…that’s it. The days of the Mets signing and having 2 or 3 big money guys on the roster is over. It’s done.”

Mike Francesa has been wrong before, Lord knows, and while it's been wonderful to hear him backpedal from that hilarious rant and admit, however begrudgingly, that you need to give the Mets credit for being a resilient team and fun to watch, nothing would be sweeter than the revisionist history he would have to create if the Mets retain Reyes after the season, and the way he's playing now, I don't see how they couldn't without losing a significant portion of the fanbase.  

Finally, I'm thrilled to announce that I have ended my self-imposed boycott of Citi Field until Luis Castillo and Oliver Perez were no longer on the team, and will be attending this Saturday evening's game against the Angels.  Naturally, the Mets are pulling out all the stops to welcome me back.  

Blue Jays 6, Orioles 5 (F/11): Had I mentioned Adam Lind is your worst nightmare?

Adam Lind, still making his way to the to "Country Grammar."

A walk-off home run washes clean all the muck and despair that came before it. I don't even care right now that Mark Rzepcynski can't get anybody out anymore, or that Yunel Escobar pulled up rather than so much as slide into second on a Corey Patterson sacrifice bunt-attempt in the eighth in maybe the laziest, dumbest thing you will ever see on a baseball diamond. Not interested. Adam Lind ripped Koji Uehara's second pitch of the eleventh inning off the facing of the third deck, so we're good.


The biggest news for the Blue Jays these last few days, though, is the demotion of Kyle Drabek to Triple A Las Vegas, where one hopes he will quickly find his form and of course also his smoke. Apparently getting constantly battered and walking everybody was starting to wear on him psychologically -- and I get that -- so this is no doubt for the best.


Still on the subject of smoke, and specifically the throwing of it, here are the three swinging strikes that second basemen Mike McCoy threw in his 1-2-3 inning of work on Sunday. I find this all very, very awesome. And yes, this is totally lifted from FanGraphs.


First, we have a 1-0 pitch to Carl Crawford:

You can see that it touches the gun at 71 MPH, and you can also see Crawford's immediate disgust at himself. It's extraordinary. 


The very next pitch proved no less sneaky:

See, he brought the heat that time: 73 MPH. If batting is timing, pitching is disrupting that timing, friends.


Finally, an 0-1 to J. D. Drew:

I'm not sure what's going on here but I know that I love it.


KS

Bochy Leaves Cain in Too Long, Giants Win Unnecessarily Stressful Game, 6-5

yeeeeeeeee

Well, the Giants were ahead 5-0 for most of that game, then 5-1, but in the seventh inning Bochy was like, "Hmm, Cain has thrown over 100 pitches and is visibly struggling with his command. He barely survived the sixth inning with every D'Backs hitter crushing the ball against him. Let's see how this plays out!"

Other than the shaky pitching, the Giants offense looked really solid for a change. Cody Ross has two doubles, 2RBI, 2 runs, a stolen base (stole home as part of a double steal) and a walk. Aubrey Huff had a hit and two walks. Nate Schierholtz hit a bit insurance RBI triple after being 0-for-3 to that point. Perhaps most importantly, Pablo Sandoval looked good, stroking an RBI single in his first at-bat and working an amazing 10-pitch walk which may have been the best Giants at-bat of the season to date. Even Eli Whiteside reached base twice!

So what could have been the Giants' easiest win this season instead became a gut-wrenching marathon. Since I'm leaving for vacation and my Baseball Feelings may be few and far between for the next ten days, it was a very Giants-like send-off.

- Bill

37-30

Statue of King Justin Verlander, colloquially known as Justin the Lionheart

Forget Playoffs for Now - Mets Lose Completely Winnable Game, 3-1

"What do you MEAN you're bringing in Manny Acosta?!"

This article on WFAN.com had me pretty steamed yesterday, and that was even before the Mets stupidly ran themselves out of two scenarios where they had two on with less than two outs and only got one run to show for it.

Playoff contenders don't consider the .500 mark as significant an achievement as the Mets' fans and announcers do, nor do they come within one game of reaching that mark before losing to the Pittsburgh Pirates.  Don't get me wrong, the Pirates certainly have some fight in them, coming within one bullpen stinker of taking three of four the last time they played the Mets before going on to win a series against the Phillies, but when you get the rare solid effort from Mike Pelfrey, one of the most mentally fragile pitchers in the Majors, you need to give him more run support than a sac fly that turns into a double play because your runner on first didn't pick up the umpire making the catch call.  

Of course that runner on first wouldn't have even been there if it wasn't for Davis and Wright being out, but that just further proves that the WFAN article was premature at best, and an elaborate shill job by the official radio network of the team trying to keep people tuning in for the rest of the summer at worst.  Nobody really knows what this team is, but you can't dub them a playoff contender as they're assembled right now, missing their starting first and third basemen, (and biggest power threats), Johan Santana not available until late July at the earliest, Jason Bay a complete black hole in the lineup, and the bullpen in shambles.  

The article does a big job praising the rotation, and it has been quite good recently, but it fails to mention that the bullpen has been absolutely horrendous for about a month, with all of the feel-good Jason Isringhausen articles evaporating as quickly as the snap in his curveball and Terry Collins absolutely terrified to use anybody except Frankie Rodriguez.  

There are more bright spots than people might have expected heading into this season, with Ruben Tejada showing great improvement since the last time he was in the majors, and Justin Turner showing that he can hit if he gets the chance, but there are too many question marks to call this team anything but what they are, a remarkably inconsistent squad that needs to get healthy before we can start making playoff predictions.  Unfortunately, the New York media has no concept of moderation, and the team must always be portrayed as either a complete mess or surprising success.  It just depends on the kind of week that they're having.  

36-30

Good news everyone . . . Kyle Farnsworth is still a butt.

Red Sox 14, Blue Jays 1: OK, That Was Even Worse.

Pictured: Kyle Drabek and Jacoby Ellsbury. Not Pictured: Any Smoke At  All.

If you're going to get swept in a three-game series, it might as well be by a total combined score of 35-6. Against the team you are, theoretically at least, chasing. At home. On the weekend. With the big crowds.


The only run for the Blue Jays yesterday came, fittingly, off the bat of Jose Bautista, who hit his twenty-first home run of the season. That Jose Bautista has cooled off slightly, and is no longer performing at a level better than Barry Bonds and just a tick below Babe Ruth, is entirely fine. We might have to content ourselves with a player who falls short of that standard, and instead will merely contend for both a batting title and the home run championship, while running away with every advanced metric. 


It's not particularly cheering that Kyle Drabek continues to get pounded while throwing a pretty amazing number of wild pitches and walking pretty much everybody, but every time it happens I remind myself that aside from that miracle game early, Roy Halladay was no great shakes in his rookie season, either. Lots of good pitchers take a while to figure it out, so I don't need to worry about what might otherwise be a worrying lack of smoke of late, right? 


Right?


KS

On Offense

There's a lot of baseball teams that I find very exciting this season. I'm really into the Pirates and their young, speedy contact guys and solid pitching. If everything does well, they're going to have a simply exhilarating team in a couple of seasons.

I like almost everything about the Brewers. I love their stadium. I love Bob Uecker. Their Friday throwback uniforms are probably the best-looking uniform in baseball and it's a real shame it's not their everyday outfit. They have a player named Nyjer Morgan whose "on-field name" is Tony Plush, and he's the best interview in baseball. I have trouble reconciling Prince Fielder's dickish and outright cheating antics with my love of massive-armed fat vegan dudes who crush deep home runs. I have trouble reconciling my hatred of Mark Teixiera facial expressions on Elijah Wood's face with the awesome baseball that Dave Braun plays. But most of all, I love that the Brewers are not the Cardinals.

There are a lot of teams that are fun or interesting to watch for a ton of very different reasons. The 2011 Mariners, Mets, Diamondbacks, Blue Jays, and Indians are fascinating thus far. It's been a spectacular baseball season, and we're only just into June.

But the truth is, since I got back into baseball full-bore in about 1999 after a really unfortunate few-year absence (the departure of Will Clark in the pre-internet, pre-MLB.tv era coincided with my abrupt cessation from playing organized baseball during my adolescence), my second-favorite team has been the Boston Red Sox. It made a lot more sense at the time. The Giants were the West Coast Red Sox, so why not root for another set of talented, hard-luck losers?

Having your favorite team play in a separate league from your second-favorite team is essentially like having two favorite teams. Also, watching these two maligned teams win historic World Series within six years of one another is...well, it's still sort of hard to believe. Especially considering the collapses of the seemingly-unstoppable Giants teams of 1987, 1989, 1993, 1997, 2000, and 2002, and basically every Red Sox season before 2004.

The Giants have a rich history of fearsome mashers. Will the Thrill, Stretch, the Say-Hey Kid, the Hackman, Matt "no nickname" Williams, Kevin Mitchell, Ellis Burks, Jeff Kent, and some guy named Barry. Since Number 25 departed, however, the Giants have had pitchers. Boy, have they ever had pitchers! On offense, they've had Randy Winn, Brian Bocock, Manny Burriss, John Bowker, Dave Roberts, Edgar Renteria, the old and fat version of Bengie Molina, and [see today's lineup].

The American League and the National league are fundamentally different. You watch the two different leagues and it's clear that they're two different leagues. But you watch a Giants game and then watch a Red Sox game...and it's two different solar systems. When a Giants starter gives up a run, you can honestly feel the Giants fan hivemind wail in despair. How can they possibly overcome this deficit? You run through the options. Who's up next inning? Huff? He'll roll one to the right side. Schierholtz and Ross might get a base hit or walk between them, but...oh, no. Rowand! God forbid the one good hitter in that day's lineup is leadoff off the next inning. Getting stranded after a leadoff double is even worse than three slow rollers to second base. Watching a Giants game in 2011 is slow and agonizing. How can they overcome a two-run deficit? It's just not possible! Evey Giants run scored is a tiny miracle, an anomaly. A Bret Hart loogie in the eye of God/Vince McMahon. Every Giants pitcher takes the field knowing they're going to have to be essentially perfect or that's the ballgame. Every Giants hitter stands at the plate knowing they're going to mess this one up. Those of us watching at home can't believe that Barry was here as recently as 2007. That can't be right, we think. That was a million years ago. Two million.

Watching a Red Sox game after a 2-0 Giants loss or a 2-1 Giants win is like the feeling you must get immediately following a complete mental break. So this is insanity. Huh. It's pretty crazy! The Red Sox go out and wallop the ball. Just absolutely abuse the thing. Ellsbury and Crawford hit triples. Pedroia and Youkilis bring them home. Gonzalez and Ortiz launch taters to every field. The runs just pile up and up, a seemingly inexhaustible supply. John Lackey might give up five runs in an inning, and you can see the Sox players look at one another and shrug. "Gee, I guess we'll just have to hit more home runs next inning. No big deal. It's what we do."

It's ridiculous that the Red Sox can have such an embarrassment of riches when it comes to putting up crooked numbers. Sure, you can point to their payroll and to the difference in play in the DH league. But the Red Sox team philosophy that Theo Epstein scrawled on the whiteboard in his office are the letters "OBP" crossed out, and below that, the words "HOME RUNZ" two feet high.

It's going to be very interesting for the rest of the 2011 season. The Giants have a phenomenal pitching staff, and no offense. None available, and none forthcoming. The Red Sox have a lineup of fearsome cave trolls that hit baseballs so hard the baseballs evaporate, and the umpires are forced to award the batters "super-homers" which count for twice the normal runs. I've always wanted to see a Giants-Red Sox World Series, and this might be the craziest year for that to happen. I don't believe it will, though. I don't believe the Giants can make it this far.

Pitching wins ballgames, sure. The Giants proved that last year. But you have to put a number on the board first. The Giants can't do that consistently. Sometimes they can't do it at all. The Red Sox have nothing but numbers. Sometimes they let their opponents score 4 or 5 or 7 runs, because they feel bad there's no mercy rule. "Sorry about the 16 runs, fellas. We're gonna just throw underhand for a while. No hard feelings, yeah?"

I like watching fantastic pitching that makes great hitters look like fools. I also like watching 500-foot home runs and three-run doubles off the wall. With my two favorite teams I get the best of both worlds.

Still about 100 games left. It's going to be one hell of a season.

- Bill

Giants Play Legitimate Baseball Game, Beat Reds 4-2

He's a good leadoff hitter, but the real money is in his hambone solos.

Early on, it looked like the same old, ridiculous Giants. Leadoff walk gets thrown out on a stupid steal attempt, a swing and miss on a hit-and-run, and Jonathan Sanchez walking batters who clearly couldn't even tell where the ball was going. But they turned it around and played a for-real baseball game. Huff got some hits and a couple of RBI. Schierholtz stayed in the game against a lefty and immediately lofted a sac fly for the go-ahead run. The defense was amazingly great behind a shaky Sanchez (pretty much the only guy who shows up these days). The Giants worked counts, the Reds made mistakes, and the good guys walked away with the win after outplaying Dusty Baker's lineup of mashers. Javier Lopez made Joey Votto and Jay Bruce look like they'd never held a bat before. It's a good win.

Pablo Sandoval comes back tomorrow as the Giants open a series in Arizona against the second-place Diamondbacks. A huge series. The Giants need some bats, and fast. Chris Stewart got the start at catcher yesterday and got a double, drew a walk, and gunned down a guy trying to steal second base. These are things that Eli Whiteside basically can't do. Stewart may have even blocked a pitch in the dirt at one point! Still, they need a for-real catcher. With Sandoval back and Fontenot coming back soon, it will be an interesting couple of weeks to see how Huff and the newly-arrived Bill Hall continue to perform. It will be July 31 soon, and the Giants will likely need a lot more help a lot sooner. It's scary, but it probably won't be dull.

- Bill

35-30

Red Sox 16, Blue Jays 4: Yikes.

I would spell it "Veritech" if I were him.

A career-worst start from Brandon Morrow, which is to say nine runs on ten hits and three walks in less than five innings. The best work on the hill for the Blue Jays yesterday came from utility guy Mike McCoy, who became the first Toronto position player to pitch since Frank Menechino (remember him?). A disaster, is what I am saying to you.


Let us reflect, though, on the extent to which Adam Lind continues to tear it up: .331/.368/.580/.947 with 10 HR. Good for him!


KS

35-29

Statue of Austin Jackson aka Ajax

Stop It, They're Already Dead: Giants Lose, 10-2

Broken.

Timmy's broken, the Giants don't know how to hit, and Bochy decided to field the worst lineup of the season. Worst loss of the year. All there is left to root for until Pablo gets back is a series of Diamondbacks losses.

Twelve Injured in Giants Walkoff 3-2 Victory Over Reds

"Was it a slider low and away? That's what usually does it to me."

A short list of the Giants opening-day lineup players that have been/are on the disabled list this season:

C - Buster Posey

1B - Brandon Belt

2B - Freddy Sanchez

3B - Pablo Sandoval

CF - Andres Torres

Here is a short list of other Giants who have been/are on the disabled list this season:

RP - Brian Wilson

RP - Santiago Casilla

SP - Barry Zito

OF - Cody Ross

SS - Mike Fontenot

OF - Darren Ford

Actually, this might work best; here is a short list of Giants who have not, at any point, been on the disabled list this season:

Miguel Tejada

Aubrey Huff

Aaron Rowand

It's...this isn't good. Freddy Sanchez goes down with a possibly season-ending injury, the Giants sign Bill Hall, and the entire roster is engulfed in an enormous fireball. Still, the Giants got their ninth walk-off win and are in first place by two games. Miguel Tejada is currently the Giants' hottest hitter. The world got flipped, turned upside down. Sandoval and Fontenot are possibly back next week, Belt a short time after that.

I honestly don't know what's going to happen from here. The Giants could keep getting miraculously lucky breaks and squeak out a division title in the laughable NL West. The bats might wake up. The offense might congeal. The Giants might fall off a cliff and only win another fifteen games for the rest of the season. Anything could happen. Anything. It's baseball. Beautiful, tragic, train-wreck baseball. One thing is for sure, though: don't ever, EVER try to hit a ball off of Miguel Tejada's shin for a base hit.

Red Sox 5, Blue Jays 1: Somebody Threw A Three-Hitter In This Game But It Was Not Jo-Jo

Marvel superhero Wolverine applies the tag to Jayson Nix

By some measures -- perhaps, indeed, by all of them -- Clay Buchholz outdueled Jo-Jo Reyes last night, allowing only three hits through seven strong innings of work. Jo-Jo made it into the seventh and allowed a reasonable four runs, which is about all that can be asked of him, but the Red Sox are pretty awesome, so it was not enough. There are other things that happened in last night's game, other things that can be noted or said, but none that gladden me. 


This might be the last weekend where I keep track of exactly how far back the Blue Jays are in the division (5 1/2 games) and the Wild Card (3 1/2). Eventually it just hurts you to know. Unless the Blue Jays win the next two, I think that point is about to be reached. Then it's the long struggle to stay at or near .500 that will have to sustain me. That and Jose Bautista being the best player in baseball. It'll be OK.


KS

34-29

Royals 3, Blue Jays 2: Ricky Romero, King of Run Support

Ricky Romero is roughly this happy all of the time.

Ricky Romero threw a complete game and lost 3-2 because nobody but the rookie catcher got anything done with the bat. Were a calamitous injury to now befall that fresh-faced catcher, I would know exactly what it's like to be a Giants fan.


KS

Giants are Completely Awful, Lose 3-0

The extent of the offense.

This was the first game that I nearly couldn't bear to watch. Madison Bumgarner allowed one run through seven innings. The Giants got leadoff walks and got caught stealing by five feet. The Giants got two leadoff hits and didn't score. The Giants had a man on third with less than two out and couldn't bring him in. The Reds scored all three of their runs after there were two out and no men on.

Madison Bumgarner has the third-least run support in the major leagues. He has one lifetime win at AT&T Park. He is the new Matt Cain.

Just absolutely, murderously pathetic. No offense. No offense anywhere. Not in the lineup, not on the bench, not tucked safely inside Brian Wilson's beard. The Giants deserved to lose tonight, and I hope they feel awful about themselves. Because they are awful.

This game made me catch feelings, ladies and gentlemen. Hateful, unchecked baseball feelings.

34-28

A statue of Justin Verlander in Aberdeen, Scotland. Some would say it is William Wallace, but, well, those people are liars.

Blue Jays 9, Royals 8: It Breaks My Heart That This Ended Up A Squeaker

Your worst nightmare. 

So, yeah, you can -- and indeed probably should -- intentionally walk Jose Bautista if he comes up with runners on second and third with two away in the sixth in a one-run game, Kansas City Royals. I totally get that, Kansas City Royals. The only way that could possibly backfire is if Adam Lind were to, I don't know, launch a grand slam to right centre or something, Kansas City Royals.


Oooooooooooooh shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit, Kansas City Royals.


As it turned out, the Blue Jays needed every one of those runs, too. Carlos Villanueva went seven strong, and let it be said that this is all way more than I expected out of Villanueva when he took over Jesse Litsch's spot when Litsch hit the DL. He has been solid. It is genuinely painful to me, though, that the bullpen is struggling like this. It's not safe to go to bed; you've pretty much got to stay up. Rzepcynski, "Don't Ask" Dotel, and Janssen all got touched up. I don't like this.


In other news Jayson Nix, of all people, hit a three-run shot! More of that, less of these bullpen shenanigans, fellows, please.


KS 

33-28

You vile son of a bitch . . .

Jonny Venters: Better Than Your Setup Man

How good is Jonny Venters?

It's a serious question. If you've watched the late innings of more than one Braves game this year, you've almost assuredly seen two pitchers: Jonny Venters in the 8th and Craig Kimbrel in the 9th.

Kimbrel is the successor to the save machine (and eight-time All-Star) known as Billy Wagner. Wagner is still under contract to the Braves this year, but he made it known he was not going to be back. He hasn't filed retirement papers thanks to a technicality in MLB contracts, but he's not coming back anytime soon, despite what you hear from Frank Wren about welcoming him back with open arms.

(Watch, I'll hit publish on this post and five minutes later Billy will be headed on a plane to meet the Braves in Miami for the last game of this series. It's just my luck.)

But this isn't about Kimbrel. He might get his own little write-up later.

First, a history lesson of sorts.

The Braves have been built around pitching for the better part of the last two decades. But surprisingly to outsiders, Braves starters almost never pitch complete games. Greg McMichael was the closer in 1993 and 1994, racking up an astounding 91 innings in '93 alone, arguably ruining his arm long-term. Mark Wohlers was the dominant closer for the mid-90's juggernaut (but I've already written about what happened to that poor son of a bitch). Wohlers was followed by Kerry Ligtenberg, who had to have Tommy John surgery after his one season as closer. Ligtenberg's absence led to the rise of John Rocker.

Hoo-boy. Remind me to write that one up one day when I have too much free time. For now, let's just all agree that he was a very good pitcher (2.3 fWAR) who didn't know that discretion is sometimes the better part of valor.

After Rocker imploded, they gave the job to some no-name coming off of Tommy John surgery. I think his name was John Smoltz.

Smoltzy is the Platonic ideal behind the meme that starters can become closers (and vice versa). He's the best closer the Braves have ever had (3.0 fWAR, the highest for a Braves closer since 1991), and his 154 saves over four years are more than enough evidence to make his case. After four years, Smoltz thought that he could contribute more to the Braves as a starter, so he moved back out of the bullpen in 2005. He went on to win 44 games in 3 years, so he's probably right about that one.

This leads to the dark ages of Atlanta closers. Dan Kolb, Chris Reitsma, and Bob Wickman. Even whispering those names around Turner Field will provoke dirty looks if not outright physical aggression.

This was followed by two years of Rafael Soriano and Mike Gonzalez, splitting duties due to alternating injuries. Soriano showed flashes of dominance, but he could never stay healthy for extended periods. Gonzalez was good in a secondary role, but was inconsistent and shared the injury bug with Soriano. Both left after 2009, leading to the Braves signing Billy Wagner.

That little narrative detour brings us up to the present. By now, you should have seen the pattern: as the closers go, so goes Atlanta. When the closers are dominant, the Braves are forces to be reckoned with. When the closers go south, the Braves begin to languish.

Which is why Atlanta is so fortunate to have two (or more) pitchers who have the ability to close. Fredi Gonzalez said at the beginning of the season that he would alternate closers depending on the situation, but so far he has chosen (wisely, in my opinion) to use Venters as a setup man and Kimbrel as closer exclusively. Some pitchers would take umbrage at being "demoted" to setup, but Venters has taken to the role like a duck to water.

His numbers have been absolutely gaudy this year. In 33 games and 36.1 innings, he has an ERA of 0.49.

No, I did not miss a decimal point there. Forty-nine hundredths of a run per nine innings pitched.

In addition, Jonny's getting an insane amount of grounders (81.3%), more than a strikeout an inning (9.08 K/9), NO homers, and when he does get a base runner, 93.3% of the time he leaves him stranded. In 495 pitches, he has thrown 300 strikes. All this in a role that some players with Venters' talent would see as "beneath" them.

In addition, his presence in the Braves clubhouse has been marvelous. You know that kid we stole from the Tigers a few years back, Jair Jurrjens? You know how he's been a monster this year, based on his sinker? Guess who taught him how to throw that nasty sinker?

Venters is by far the most dominant setup guy in baseball right now. Jim Powell, an announcer for over 25 years, said that Venters reminds him of Mariano Rivera, except with a positively filthy sinker instead of Rivera's unhittable cut fastball. Dusty Baker, a man who has been around baseball for almost half a century, has said Jonny is "one of the nastiest around" in terms of pitches. Baker went on to compare Venters to Sparky Lyle and Joe Sambito, two left-handers from the late 1970's renowned for All-Star level pitching prowess.

But how good will Venters continue to be? Hell, he could get hit by a bus, fall on a rusty spoon and catch AIDS tomorrow. He could (God forbid) start to pull a Wohlers.

But if he keeps going like he's going, he could be an integral part of the Braves' plans for years to come. And maybe more. From what we've seen since 2010, he's good and has the potential to be great.

And if he's not in the All-Star game this year, the entire system is broken and everyone involved with pitcher selection should be drawn and quartered, and I reserve the right to yell truly obscene things at my television and/or computer screen and/or random passersby for at least a week..

Blue Jays 8, Royals 5: SMOKE

Adam Lind: more coy than you might expect.

The first inning of last night's game against the Royals was just outstanding. Yunel Escobar led off the game with a single, which is not a surprise or anything, in that Escobar has been quietly excellent so far this season, so I'm not trying to make a big thing about Escobar getting on to start the game as thoughtthat's some sort of rarity. No. He is good; and I like him. But then, with Corey Patterson at the plate, Escobar ran. His plan? To steal second base, I think. But he achieved so much more. 


In a series of events that I'm not sure I have witnessed since little league -- when it happened pretty much every game, especially, though not exclusively, when I was catching -- Matt Treanor's throw to second skipped over the bag and rolled into centre. Escobar took off for third, and Melky Cabrera was like we'll see about this! and gunned it to third, except the throw was horrible, and it went to the screen, and Escobar scored on a stolen base and two throwing errors. Seriously: this is probably the single most common source of runs in little league baseball. Took me back, man. Took me back.


From there, all that was needed were home runs from Adam Lind and J. P. Arencibia (tenth of the season for both), and a strangely effective outing from Kyle Drabek despite allowing nine hits and a mere three walks over five and a third. He did not strike anybody out. He did, however, throw four -- four! -- wild pitches. This Kyle Drabek, ladies and gentlemen, is a character.


KS

Matt Cain's a Hell of a Drug: Giants Win, 3-1

Matt Cain strikes out five batters while Roger Bernadina attempts to steal second.

Matt Cain tosses a complete-game, 11-strikeout, 1-run affair while allowing one walk and five hits. He doubles in the first run of the game for his first RBI of the year. HE SLIPS THE SURLY BONDS OF EARTH TO TOUCH THE FACE OF GOD

I won't say it's the best game I've ever seen Cain throw, but man alive, was it close. The Giants take the series and ensure they'll remain in first place regardless of what the stupid Diamondbacks do this evening.

The Giants were kind of all over the place in this one. Eli Whiteside had two hits, but both times he attempted to throw out base runners, he winged the ball four feet high of his target. So the Giants still looked like the Giants today, especially with Tejada and Rowand still in there against a righty for some reason. But for the first time this season, they managed to make the Nationals look like the Nationals, and that is pretty great.

It looks like Brandon Crawford is for real. Even if he couldn't hit a lick, he is absolutely murdering it on defense, which is invaluable for the Giants at SS right now. Luckily for everyone, Crawford is now two weeks into his major league career and still sporting an OPS of over .900. RAD.

Slightly off-topic: how perfect is it that Brian Wilson's ninth-inning entrance music is "Jump Around?" Separating Wilson from the endless iterations of "Enter Sandman" and "Iron Man" and "Hell's Bells" and "Smoke on the Water" or whatever, it captures his attitude in a way that most outside observers don't really get. Closer entrance themes are usually centered on "This guy is a stone badass" or "This guy is dangerous and unpredictable" or "Watch out for me, g-d it, I am metal as hell" but Wilson's theme says, "What's up dudes, it is about to be a party." And that is tremendous. Brian Wilson is pretty intense, and pretty metal, but he is probably the closest MLB is ever going to get to having their own personal Andrew WK. It's a save situation, so jump around. Things are about to get fun.

Boringest Story, Played on Least Interesting Guitar: Giants Lose, 2-1

'Bochy Prepares to Devour His Starter' - Goya, c. 1819-1823

The Giants had a second inning that consisted of a leadoff triple, followed by a double, before recording an out, and only scored one run. So it goes with a lousy, lousy, lousy offense. The Giants pitching and bullpen and defense (tonight at least) are so good that Jonathan Sanchez had a fairly crummy outing featuring a boatload of walks through five and only allowed two runs. Insurmountable. The Giants only -- only! -- left five on base tonight. The Nationals left eleven.So I guess they were technically less efficient than the Giants? That's something.

Get some bats, dudes. I can think of a dude you can use for trade bait. That Jonathan Sanchez guy. We've got Ryan Vogelsong now, and he's the new hotness.

Q: How do you erase the good vibes and fuzzy feelings associated with last night's instant-classic extra-innings victory?

A: Play a game like this.

33-27

WHAT IN THE: Giants Defeat Nationals 5-4 in 13 Innings

"Shpedoinkle!"

Unsustainable. Unbelievable. I don't know what the hell that game was. Time Lincecum struck out five batters through two innings, giving him exactly 1,000 career strikeouts (the fastest pitcher ever to 1K Ks), and then forgot what is a baseball game and coughed up four runs in the next two innings. I knew there was no way -- just no way -- that the Giants would score any runs in this game. Not with Tejada and Rowand taking up spots in the lineup. Not with Aubrey Huff being 0-for-13 since his three-homer game.

But the Giants scratched out four runs in the seventh and eighth innings. Even more importantly, the Giants bullpen was immaculate, combining for eight scoreless innings. Even Jeremy Affeldt -- who is basically just a left-handed can of kerosene -- had the best 1.2 innings I've ever seen him pitch.

It was an amazing, improbable game of the type that only the Giants have been able to crank out for the past two seasons. AT&T Park is filled with some insanely potent pixie dust (eight walk-off wins so far this season), but the Giants are in desperate need of offense, and soon.

Here's a rundown of the ways the Giants did NOT win last night's game.

- First Inning: Andres Torres gets a leadoff single. Freddy Sanchez walks with one out. The Giants do not score.

- Fourth Inning: Cody Ross gets a leadoff walk. The Giants do not score.

- Sixth Inning: Michael Tejada gets a leadoff bunt single. The Giants do not score.

(Now it gets silly)

- Ninth Inning: Andres Torres gets a leadoff walk. The Nationals pitcher couldn't locate the strike zone if he was Geordi LaForge bitten by a radioactive spider. Tejada delivers the hardest bunt I've ever seen on a 2-0 pitch, which should have been a double play, but first baseman Michael Morse goes for the force at first. Runner on second, one out. Pitcher is still effectively wild, and walks Freddy Sanchez as Torres steals third. Runners at the corners, one out. Cody Ross hits an easy double-play grounder, but the shortstop throws home and cuts down Torres. The Giants have runners on first and second. The Giants do not score.

- Tenth Inning: The Giants get a one-out single by Brandon Crawford, who takes second on a wild pitch. The pitcher is all over the zone this inning, but gets the .000-batting Chris Stewart to chase and strike out. Runner on second, two outs. Jeremy Affeldt comes to the plate and takes basically the ugliest swing in history at a ball a foot over his head. He looks at the next five pitches and takes his first walk since 2003. HIS FIRST WALK IN EIGHT YEARS. Runners on first and second, two outs, and Pudge Rodriguez is looking like the Canucks goalie behind home plate as every pitch is bouncing around like crazy. Still, Andres Torres swings at balls four, five, and six, and strikes out to end the inning. The Giants do not score.

So yeah, in terms of sheer ineptitude and feebleness with the bats, it's no wonder the Giants are constantly flirting with a negative run differential. It's no wonder that the vast majority of their games are one-run affairs. They invent whole new ways of not scoring on a daily basis. Luckily, Stewart was able to not swing at pitches in the 13th and get a leadoff walk, Tejada was able to run just fast enough to turn a double play into a fielder's choice, and Freddy Sanchez was able to flip a single into right field for the win.

Or maybe it's not lucky at all. Both teams were out of bench players and nearly out of pitchers. Bochy said after the game he was going to ask Tejada to pitch an inning when his bullpen ran out. That would have almost made TJ's contract worth it. Almost.

Royals 3, Blue Jays 2 (F/11): Et tu, Mark Rzepcynski?

Juan Rivera, feeling about this game like I feel about Juan Rivera

Before I get into minding last night's extra-innings loss to the Royals, there are a couple of other things I would also like to mind. First off, I know Alan Ashby is covering for Buck Martinez on the TV side of the broadcast right now, but do they have to replace the absolutely first-rate Ashby with Gregg Zaun as Jerry Howarth's number two in the radio booth? The drop off from Ashby to Zaun is the difference between listening to an insightful adult or a smug bro. I enjoy insightful adults. I do not enjoy smug bros at all. Also, I think part of why I fail to care at all about the plight of the Royals -- in addition to lingering bitterness over the 1985 ALCS, plus the obvious fact that the reason the Royals have been almost entirely bad since then isn't about economic problems plaguing the game so much as utterly inept management that can't seem to develop enough talent to be competitive in the straight-up embarrassing AL Central while Tampa managed to surpass four teams with vastly larger payrolls in the AL East -- is that the games start an hour later when the Blue Jays are in Kansas City and I always forget, so when I turn on the radio at the appointed hour I get nothing. All of these things need to stop but I worry that they won't.

To last night's game, then: a really crisp affair in the early going, with both Morrow and Paulino throwing very well. When the Blue Jays scratched out a lone run in the fourth on an error, wild pitch, and two ground outs, it looked to me like that might be the difference. Not so, of course, as  Eric Hosmer reached on an error in the bottom of the inning, and came in on a Mike Aviles triple (oh man triples!). Another Blue Jays run on a groundout in the seventh should have meant nothing but good times, but my man Mark Rzepcynski kind of didn't get anybody out and walked three dudes in relief, including walking in the tying run. This is a shame, in that it is on its own awful, but also in that Scrabble has been terrific out of the bullpen this year. Alas, and also alack. 


Why even mention that it was The Closer Frank Francisco who gave up the walkoff hit to Eric Hosmer in the eleventh? Everybody knows. Francisco is awful, legitimately awful. You don't even need to get fancy about it: 6.06 ERA, 1.78 WHIP. That's brutal, and brutal in a way that is easy to understand. End this. Someone. Please.


Finally, I couldn't help but notice that Fangraphs ran a neat thing on the worst players in baseball by WAR yesterday. I recently did the same, but I'm going to take this as a loving tribute rather than anything untoward. Here's what Seidman wrote about our dude E5:


Edwin Encarnacion (-0.9 WAR): Some players are on here as a direct result of their suckitude with the bat. Encarnacion, aptly nicknamed E5, makes this list primarily on the lack of merit of his glovework. In just 43 games his UZR is a spectacularly bad -9.1. If you’re more into the fielding percentage metric, consider this factoid Dave Cameron discussed recently. As of May 27th, Encarnacion had a .784 fielding percentage. The next worst was Andy LaRoche at .892, a gap of 108 points. Encarnacion is one of the worst fielders in baseball history, and if he can’t even match the lower league average with the bat, what actual purpose does he serve?


Aside from using "factoid" in the debased and subliterate sense that indicates no understanding of the meaning of the "-oid" suffix, the man has some valid points. Also, I am a dick.


KS

32-27

Pictured: A couple of Texas harlots futilely trying to hold Brennan Boesch back from fulfilling his destiny. Also, check out that kid in the background, all "Oh shit, I surrender. This is fucked up, yo." What does that last part have to do with either baseball or my beloved Detroit Tigers? Maybe nothing. Or perhaps maybe everything. Who's to say in these strange and terrible times? In any event, I'm guessing that the kid is a Rangers fan, so to hell with him. No mercy for the wicked, fellas. No mercy.

Courtesy of JCT from McCovey Chronicles: JUGGERNATE

Juggernate from JCT on Vimeo.

You may want to skip the "video game" intro, but here's nearly five minutes of Nate Schierholtz gunning down fools from right field and getting clutch hits like a maniac.

Baseball...is awesome.

a visual link

Fuck baseball. Fuck the Nationals. Fuck Jayson Werth. Fuck Strasburg's elbow. (The Ultimate Harper is awesome though.) I do not care for your long-winded, stat-heavy, boring meander towards climax. But I do enjoy goofy drawings of old baseball players. So here is a link of this dude Paul Windle's work.

31-27

RYAN. VOGELSONG. Giants Win, 2-1

Pat found those "rad stilts" at a church rummage sale and it tickles him so.

Ryan Vogelsong, man. Dude is...amazing. McCovey Chronicles puts it succinctly:

"Juan Marichal never had a run of six straight starts allowing one earned run or fewer. Neither has Tim Lincecum. Gaylord Perry or Carl Hubbell never did it.

Ryan Vogelsong."

Why this dude isn't in every conversation about best pitcher in the NL is completely beyond me. Dude is an enormous upgrade over Zito and the one and only good-news Giants injury story this season.

As the Giants were being no-hit through six innings, I found myself thinking that Pablo Sandoval's imminent return in the next week is the longest wait for offense ever. Today's come-from-behind win alleviates that a little. Tejada had two hits, Huff had none. Belt is on the disabled list along with basically everyone.

The Giants are still winning ballgames and it is pretty awesome when they do, and unbelievably frustrating when they don't. So it goes. I'll take a series win over the loathsome Rockies any day. The stupid Diamondbacks won't stop winning ballgames, and even though the Nationals -- maybe the second-worst team in baseball right now -- are coming to town tomorrow, the Giants will probably be lucky to take two of three given the state of this friggin' team.

Giants vs. Nationals tomorrow. Lincecum on the hill. PRAY FOR JUSTICE

Orioles 5, Blue Jays 3 and Blue Jays 7, Orioles 4: OK Then.

Jose Bautista flashes the drinky drinky sign on his way into third.

Ricky Romero wasn't terrible or anything on Saturday, but generally speaking when you give up a grand slam you will lose. I don't have numbers on that though I assume that they both exist and confirm my previous statement. It was kind of galling for Kevin Gregg to get the save on Saturday, but he nearly blew it, so I nearly liked it. Totally liked: Corey Patterson had a home run and two bunt singles in the same game. Isn't that wild? 


This afternoon's 7-4 win was more like the kind of shellacking I had in mind for all three games, but you take it as it comes, I guess. Adam Lind is back off the DL, as you may have noticed, and hit a pair of solo shots to go with Yunel Escobar's three-run home run. And do you know who pitched ably into the seventh and picked up his second straight win? Jo-Jo!  


And so that's two out of three on the weekend in Baltimore, which one can't be mad at. Next up: Kansas City, who everybody assures me will be good in 2013, which, you will note, is totally not this week.


KS

30-27

Deal with it.

Bumgarner Has the Audacity to Allow One Earned Run, One Unearned Run; Giants Lose 2-1

"The guys asked me to tell you they hate you."

What an enormous bag of butts that game was. The Giants got four-hit by lousy pitching, got picked off after a double, got caught stealing, let a run score on a thrown away double-play ball, sat their hottest hitter, made their second-hottest hitter bat behind Aubrey Huff, and plastered another humongous "L" to the undeserving carcass of Sadison Bummedgarner, who pitched a great game.

I guess the only consolation is that both teamed looked equally lousy today. The Rockies got a bunch of bloop hits and did their best "2010 Padres" impression. Giants hitters can't hit. It's problematic, sure, but what are you gonna do, NOT play Michael Tejada?

Blue Jays 8, Orioles 4: Big Fun In Baltimore

J. P. Arencibia: proponent of big fun.

The two early unearned runs were pretty boss, but J. P. Arencibia's fifth-inning grand slam was definitely last night's highlight in terms of overall awesomeness. Carlos Villanueva pitched well in his third start since leaving the bullpen, Perez, Frasor, and Rzepcynski took it the rest of the way, et voila. Also, it seems we have reached the point where Jose Bautista gets intentionally walked in the third inning, and, I mean, I get it -- .360/.504/.766/1.270, 20 HR, 5.0 WAR -- but it is nevertheless remarkable.

Also remarkable: both that Yunel Escobar is having such a great year, and that I have totally failed to say anything about it. The line on Escobar has always been that he is at least something of a jackhole, and I am not here to dispute that; instead, I am here to point out that his .300/.382/.449/.831 line and reasonable defense at short has him positioned as the seventh-best player in the American League this year by WAR (2.2). Did you have any idea? I didn't, and I follow the exploits of both Escobar and his bros on a daily basis.  


Finally, it is perhaps worth noting that Camden Yards is still the best looking ballpark ever.


KS

Slugger Tejada is Benched, Giants Manage 3-1 Win

AWOOOOOOOOO

Not a lot to say on this one. Matt Cain looked pretty un-Cain-like in the early innings, then settled down late, getting outs when he needed them. Huff got an 0-fer but got BABiP'd on a couple of well-struck balls. Manny Burriss, replacing Michael Tejada in the number 2 slot, was 3-for-4. If he hadn't gotten picked off first following a leadoff hit in the fourth inning, the score would have been 4-1. Brandon Crawford got his first AT&T Park hit and RBI with his family in attendance, which is neat. Dude's a lifetime Giants fan. Feel-good story of the week, easily.

Giants still look good enough to keep plugging along. Rockies still look pretty lousy overall. Brian Wilson still can't get a three-batter save under any circumstances. The big Giants news of the past couple days is Giants GM Brian Sabean going on the radar and calling for a hit on Scott Cousins and his family, and the Joe Torre calling the Giants and being like, "ARE YOU INSANE" and then the Giants releasing a statement that is all "lol taken out of context" so it was a shameful couple of days for this front office to say the least.

Jason Giambi pinch-hit in the top of the ninth and was summarily booed vociferously. This pleases me a great deal. Being a fan of the team where Barry Bonds is the ultimate hometown hero and the repentant beloved white steroids abuser is enemy number one is pleasing on many levels.

Giants attempt to win the series tomorrow, and depending on where you live the FOX SPORTS RANDOM NUMBER GENERATOR may determine it's your local game of the week. MLB.tv will black out all four potential games because the hell with you, buddy. You should own a television, pay for cable, and live in whatever location you need to live to watch the game you want. Anything less would be uncivilized.

29-27

Aubrey Huff, Giants Brutalize Rookie Pitchers, Win 12-7

I want you to draw me like one of your French girls.

Well I'll be damned. The Giants got no-hit for three innings by call-up Lance Lynn while the Cardinals scored three runs and Jonathan Sanchez was turning in one of his Jonathan Sanchez-iest performances to date. But then Michael Tejada took a pitch off his helmet, and Aubrey Huff launched a bomb into the Cardinals bullpen to break the no-hitter and bring the Giants within a run.

Then...it got a little silly.

Jonathan Sanchez hit his fourth double of the year, Torres brought him home, Tejada ran the bases like some kind of savant, Huff blooped a single, and the Giants were ahead, 5-3. The next inning, LaRussa brought in another call-up. Eli Whiteside and Pat Burrell led off the inning with walks, Torres hit a double, and Freddy Sanchez of all people hit a three-run homer, and Huff went back-to-back with his second dinger of the evening. The Giants were up 10-3. Impossible. Unthinkable.

Since the Giants are the Giants, even a laugher can't be a laugher. Guillermo Mota served up a Colby Rasmus grand slam, making it a three-run game. Luckily, Huff jacked his THIRD HOME RUN of the game, his fourth in two games, his first three-homer game of his career. On his wife's birthday. 13 total bases, 4 hits, and 6 RBI for Huff Daddy, and a month's worth of positive regression in two days. Let's hope it sticks.

Taking three of four from the Cardinals in their house and finishing the road trip over .500 after losing Posey is ENORMOUS. They now play 19 of their next 22 in the bay area, and are back in first place by half a game. Hopefully they haven't tired themselves out scoring all these runs, but it is going to take a while to wash away the delicious taste of Tony LaRussa's shingles-ridden tears.

Indians 12, Blue Jays 9: Where Have You Gone, Thrown Smoke?

Kyle Drabek's start was at least as bad as this picture.

Here's my main man Kyle Drabek's pitching line from last night: 2/3 IP, 3 H, 4 R (4 ER), 3 BB, 1K. All three hits were hell of ringing doubles; it was extraordinarily shitty. Things totally escalated from there, too, and by the time it got to 12-0 I was long gone. Shame on me, I guess, because I missed a nine-run sort-of-comeback, but whatever(s).


In cheerier news, though, it has become apparent that Jose Bautista is leading all players in All Star voting, which is appropriate and good, and it has also come to my attention that Ricky Romero is currently dating Miss USA Rima Fakih, so good for him. 


Also, the schedule gets nice and soft for a bit so lets rip it up starting Friday. Big fun in Baltimore? Only time will tell.


KS

Giants Win 7-5 in Improbable Fashion in 11 Innings

So graceful, so lithe.

Bat Tejada second, bat Huff fourth. Sure. Do whatever. Leave Lincecum in too long. Whatever. The Giants took their worst-looking lineup of the year into the belly of the shingles-riddled LaRussa beast and overcame two separate, insurmountable leads.

Eli Whiteside can't hang on to a pair of swinging third strikes or throw out a runner on a steal attempt. People were getting on base like gangbusters tonight, but there was Tejada, grounding to second base three times in a row. There was Huff, grounding to first three times in a row. Huff hit a tater that put the Giants on top for about ten seconds -- he'll probably be moved to the three-hole tomorrow -- but then Lincecum served up a two-run dinger and that looked like the ballgame.

And then, seemingly for the first time this season, Bochy used his bullpen correctly. Even more shocking, Nate Schierholtz knocked in the tying run in the top of the ninth. The bullpen held fast and shut down the heart of the St. Louis lineup. Nate Schierholtz knocked in the go-ahead run and then Brandon "Stamos" Crawford brought him home with a key insurance run in the eleventh. LaRussa tried his ultimate gambit -- turning off the lights of the stadium with a man on and two out in the bottom of the eleventh inning -- but Wilson calmly walked to the dugout and waited about fifteen minutes while the lights came back on, then threw one pitch to induce grounder and end the game.

This sure looked like nothing doing after the Cardinals took a 5-4 lead. Burrell had popped out in his pinch-hit appearance. Manny Burriss had taken over for Huff and was batting cleanup. I tried to think of who in the lineup could possibly crank one out, and all I could come up with was "Cody Ross." It never occurred to me that this craptackle band of no-bats would string together a bunch of clutch hits.

Huff was 1-for-4 tonight. Freddy Sanchez and Nate Schierholtz had three hits. Cody Ross had four. The number two hitter, Michael Tejada, was 0-for-6. If Brandon Crawford keeps being awesome, there's no way he doesn't take TJ's job once the Kung Fu Panda returns. Then again...Bruce Bochy.

The Giants attempt to win the series and finish the road trip on a happy note tomorrow. Pray for justice.

29-26

Cleveland 6, Toronto 3: This Changes Nothing

I don't even know, man.

The Indians are still bogus and the Blue Jays are still pretty good. I am convinced of these two facts -- yes, facts -- even after last night's 6-3 loss. Brandon Morrow continues to do that thing he does whereby he can strike all kinds of dudes out (like nine, even) but still have a bad start (six runs in six innings, say). It was almost not that bad though: with two out in the fifth, Carlos Santana, who is awesome, doubled to right. The throw from Jose Bautista to Aaron Hill to J. P. Arencibia beat Travis Buck to the plate, but Arencibia couldn't hold on. I do not blame him for that, necessarily, as catchers mitts are nuts. But instead of the inning ending there, that run and then two more came in, and a fairly undaunting 3-0 deficit is all of a sudden 6-0, and you just go ahead and do something else with the remainder of your evening. 

In Jose Bautista news: his 3-5 with a run scored puts him at 4.9 WAR through May, which means he could realistically surpass the value of his entire 54 home run season in about another month. Also, you love him. 

KS

28-26

Always a classic