Good Night, Sweet, Tiny Prince

There's that big-boy smile!

The San Francisco Giants made another befuddling move on Friday, as they released Mike "Number Three Hitter" Fontenot. The ginger Wolverine. The guy who saved their bacon for a week in 2011 when everyone caught the bubonic plague at once. The guy who opted not to catch a pop fly in the postseason. The guy who was the rootinest, tootinest, tiniest Giant in the past few years who came team and outperformed his salary.

The Giants decided to waive Fontenot as a "cost saving measure," opting instead to retain Fontenot's IRL BFF, Ryan Theriot. Theriot and Fontenot are the same person, except Theriot is two feet taller (six feet tall) and bats right-handed. Oh, and he had a lousy Spring Training. You know who didn't have a lousy Spring Training? Brandon Belt. But Belt will be starting the season in Fresno, barring some last-minute bout of senses-having by Bochy, Sabean, et al.

Fontenot leaving breaks my heart in a tiny way, because I really do love the guy and I think he's way better than most people want to give him credit for. I hope a team picks him up and gives him opportunities to succeed, and I will root my hardest for every one of his at-bats.

The Giants are in danger of entering a series of seasons that will be horrifying. There is a chance that Cain and Lincecum will soon be gone and San Francisco will fall to the middle of the pack pitching-wise, to go with their league-worst offense. Longing for the days of Zito, Huff, and Rowand coming off the books has turned into a cold-sweat-inducing fear that we'll wake up in one to two years and find a team fundamentally incapable of competing. But hey! They saved nearly a million dollars by releasing Mighty Mike Fontenot, so we're coming out way ahead here.

Merciless 15-2 Victory Eliminates Giants From Wild Card

herp derp

Well, it's pretty apt that the single most horrid game of the year was the one that knocked the Giants out of everything. Baggs has a full rundown on all the facts you need to know about this putrid abomination of a baseball game. It started with an umpire standing in the way of an easy grounder and nearly concussing Mike Fontenot, and ended with a power outage and every pitcher in the Giants bullpen successively shitting a parade of beds.

Although 2012 could potentially be a better season and could potentially be a worse season, at least the bright side is that it's improbable that many, if any games in 2012 will be as bad or worse than this one. Let's all root for Matt Kemp to win the triple crown and for the Brewers to win the pennant, shall we?

Giants Take Series Against Padres, Brandon Belt Given Funeral at Sea

The Giants gained a game on the Diamondbacks, then lost it again. Whatever. Brett Pill came up and hit two home runs in his first two games, so Brandon Belt will never play another game again, ever. Bochy continues to start Orlando Cabrera every day, even against right-handers, even when he drops routine pop-ups that lead to back-breaking runs.

I watched the Giants lose to the Padres yesterday live from sunny Petco Park in San Diego, which is a fine stadium with plenty of Giants fans around. I have been to two Giants/Padres games at Petco this year, and both games featured a Giants loss, but a coupon for two free Jack in the Box tacos, so I'm torn as to which side of the ledger these games fall on.

The Sabean/Bochy strategy of which players are valuable and worth starting and worth giving lots of leeway when struggling and why is absolutely baffling and defies all logic. If 2012 is anywhere as big a disaster as 2011 was, I think Giants ownership HAS to try to start fresh by ousting one or both of these guys, World Series goodwill or no. But I'm fearful that the ownership is just as pleased as punch with the status quo, and will continue to be so, indefinitely. The Giants offense has finished dead last or near to it in five of the last six seasons. They had a league-average offense in the other year. They can develop and craft pitching like nobody's business. They have pitching scouts out the wazoo who are out of this world. Dave Righetti must be like some kind of crazy Pitcher Whisperer, the George W-looking freak. But by this point, far removed from the heyday of Bonds, Kent, and Burks, it's plain as day that Brian Sabean has absolutely no idea how to evaluate a hitter's worth, and Bochy understands even less what stats to look at.

Here's the perfect Bruce-Bochy-in-a-nutshell insight into how Bruce Bochy thinks: With both Mike Fontenot and Brandon Crawford (both left-handed batters, both far better defensively than Orlando Cabrera) available to start at SS against RHP Aaron Harang, Bochy went with righty Cabrera, citing Cabrera's lifetime 3-for-5 against Harang. There's small samples sizes, and there is THIS. Five at-bats. Five at-bats that happened in 2003. It's just...I can't...

Giants Win Nailbiting Blowout, 7-5

"Mmmmm...gritty...grizzled gamer...oh yeah, that's the stuff."

Amazingly, the Giants scored a bunch of runs. Mostly on sacrifice flies, but hey, horribly cursed offenses can't be choosers. Matt Cain pitched 8 brilliant innings with one unearned run, 9 strikeouts, and one walk. Then Bruce Bochy stuck in Dan Runzler, the one and only young guy that he's ever had faith in, and the Braves promptly scored four runs and brought the tying run to the plate.

Bruce Bochy is a quandary that's been dredged through a batter of a head-scratchers, dipped in "what is this i don't even" sauce, and then wrapped in bacon. Brandon Belt went 0-for-3 with a walk today, and he's almost definitely sitting out tomorrow's game. Bochy has been confirmed as hating an at-bat he feels is "too passive." Belt looked at six pitches in his third plate appearance, and the last two could have/should have been called balls. They weren't. That doesn't matter to Bruce Bochy. He probably turned to Ron Wotus and said, "Why isn't this asshole hacking at everything? That's what the bat's for. Swinging at everything." In Bochy's mind, the game they play isn't "base"ball, it's "swingball."

And Bochy probably gave Belt the stink-eye pretty good, because in Belt's next plate appearance, where he could have picked up a sacrifice fly for a run, he swung at the first pitch and popped it up just past the infield. You could almost hear Bochy yelling, "Too aggressive, you idiot!" And so it goes for anyone under 35 in a Bruce Bochy lineup. He doesn't believe in career minor league numbers. He doesn't understand how small sample sizes work. He doesn't understand the benefits of OBP over batting average and RBI. The only things he believes in are "the hot hand" and "swinging the bat well" and "knows how to win ballgames" and "been there before" and "he wears his hat like a pro" and a million other intangibles that mean nothing to anyone but him and, presumably, Brian Sabean.

So I've never understood why, given how Bochy has historically treated young players, he's brought Runzler in so many times in a non-mop-up capacity. Maybe Runzler forged a birth certificate and convinced Bochy he was born in 1968.

But anyway, a win paired with a Diamondbacks loss. I'll take it. Matt Cain is amazing. Tim Lincecum pitches tomorrow. I hear he's pretty good, too. Hammerin' Mike Fontenot was 3-for-4 with a pair of doubles today, so with all the injuries we can keep our fingers crossed for the glorious return of Number Three Hitter Mike Fontenot.

I'm ready for Houston, how about you?

I Only Missed the Ten Uneventful Innings; Giants Win 6-2 in 12.

Aubrey Huff did something awesome [citation needed]

When the Giants loaded the bases with nobody out in the top of the twelfth, I wondered how they were going to screw this up. When Michael Tejada was announced as a pinch hitter, I thought I had my answer. Sure enough, Tejada popped up in foul territory on the first pitch, then Andres Torres struck out. I thought man, that's it. The Giants aren't scoring here and the Padres will hit a few bloop singles in the bottom of this inning and walk it off. BUT NO. Fightin' Mike Fontenot drew a four-pitch walk for the go-ahead run, and Sandoval and Schierholtz tacked on four insurance runs for the hell of it.

The Giants still tried to give it away, though. The Padres loaded the bases in the bottom of the inning, and Wilson had to come in with the bases loaded and one out and only gave up one run (charged to Javier Lopez), which I think counts as Wilson's second-least-stressful save this season. Least stressful overall if the All-Star Game doesn't count.

So three and a half games in first place, and I'm rooting for the Dodgers to sweep the Diamondbacks this weekend. I'll be attending the game tomorrow, along with 25,000 other Giants fans in San Diego (weep for the 8,000-10,000 Padres fans in attendance). During last night's game, I realized what the best thing is about playing the Andrian Gonzalez-less Padres at Petco: the game almost certainly won't be won on a walk-off home run.

Giants Win Game of the Year 6-5 in 14 Innings

Nailed it.

This started off as a terrible game. Really, just abysmal. Stranded leadoff runners by the bucketful. Giants swinging and missing at balls bowled slowly underhand across home plate. Everyone not named "Andres Torres" or "Pablo Sandoval" looking like they were swinging a rolled-up wet carpet. Madison Bumgarner giving up five runs. I noted on Twitter that this was a real stinky butthole of a game and a pretty lousy-looking team (in so many words).

These days, it seems like if you want to have your team look like just the best team around, you should play the Giants. The Padres, for seven or nine innings there, looked like they were the Bronx Bombers crossed with the Big Red Machine and huffing Swingin' A's fumes. Driving balls to the gaps, stealing a million bases, striking out the side on one pitch. Nate Schierholtz launched a mammoth home run off of the right field foul pole in the middle innings to bring the Giants within one run, but then the Padres scored again. Two runs? Insurmountable.

But in the eighth inning, Pablo Sandoval crushed a bomb to Triples Alley that he thought was gone. He only ended up with a game-tying double, but it was enough at the time. The Giants bullpen nodded and said, "We got this." Sandoval made just the best possible play to end the top of the ninth inning with a man on third, and the bullpen was off to the races, retiring the last 17 batters they faced. Giants pitchers ended the night with 19 strikeouts and one walk. Think about that for a second. I'll wait.

The Padres and Giants spent the last five innings trying to out-not-score one another, but only the Giants were getting men on base. The bottom of the fourteenth opened with the Padres inserting a pitcher named Pat Neshek, whose delivery can best be described as "oh my god what am i looking at." He hurked and jerked and threw a ball to Nate Schierholtz, then got a swinging strike, then a foul. Just as I was thinking, "Man, wouldn't it be awesome if..." Neshek spasmed and frothed and threw a ball out over the middle of the plate, and Nate Schierholtz hit just the highest fly ball I've ever seen. The Padres right fielder drifted back slowly and settled under it against the wall and... PANGGGG... it bounced off the tin roof top of the wall and into the cove. Juggernate's first two-homer game, and the Giants had their tenth walk-off win of the season.

A lousy game that was a must-win for the Giants became one of the best games I've seen this season. The Giants had this game in the bag multiple times and couldn't put it away. The offense needs at least one bat. The return of Mike Fontenot will be a cause for celebration. Yeesh. But this was a big, big win. What a game.

Twelve Injured in Giants Walkoff 3-2 Victory Over Reds

"Was it a slider low and away? That's what usually does it to me."

A short list of the Giants opening-day lineup players that have been/are on the disabled list this season:

C - Buster Posey

1B - Brandon Belt

2B - Freddy Sanchez

3B - Pablo Sandoval

CF - Andres Torres

Here is a short list of other Giants who have been/are on the disabled list this season:

RP - Brian Wilson

RP - Santiago Casilla

SP - Barry Zito

OF - Cody Ross

SS - Mike Fontenot

OF - Darren Ford

Actually, this might work best; here is a short list of Giants who have not, at any point, been on the disabled list this season:

Miguel Tejada

Aubrey Huff

Aaron Rowand

It's...this isn't good. Freddy Sanchez goes down with a possibly season-ending injury, the Giants sign Bill Hall, and the entire roster is engulfed in an enormous fireball. Still, the Giants got their ninth walk-off win and are in first place by two games. Miguel Tejada is currently the Giants' hottest hitter. The world got flipped, turned upside down. Sandoval and Fontenot are possibly back next week, Belt a short time after that.

I honestly don't know what's going to happen from here. The Giants could keep getting miraculously lucky breaks and squeak out a division title in the laughable NL West. The bats might wake up. The offense might congeal. The Giants might fall off a cliff and only win another fifteen games for the rest of the season. Anything could happen. Anything. It's baseball. Beautiful, tragic, train-wreck baseball. One thing is for sure, though: don't ever, EVER try to hit a ball off of Miguel Tejada's shin for a base hit.

Giants Suffer Worst Loss of Season, Lose in 12 Innings, 7-6

Okay, so I wrote the below post during the bottom of the ninth, but amazingly Aubrey Huff got his only hit of the game to tie the it at 6 and send the game to extra innings. Most of what I wrote below still stands. This could have been an amazing comeback game, but the Giants not only lost the game and Mike Fontenot, they also lost Buster Posey when he tweaked his ankle badly on a home-plate collision as the Marlins scored the winning run.

This is terrible. This is...just terrible. Original post below, for posterity.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

This is exactly correct.

There was really no chance for the Giants to win once the Marlins plated two in the top of the first inning. Compounding matters was Aubrey Huff going 0-for-5 with three strikeouts in the number three spot, looking like his numbers suggest: that he's possibly the worst position player in baseball right now. His OPS is currently sixty points lower than it was in his disastrous 2009 season. He killed literally every rally single-handedly, and ended the game for the Giants, with runners on second and third in the bottom of the ninth.

Further compounding matters was the insane decisions Bruce Bochy made. Down by one run, he chose to pinch-hit AARON ROWAND against a left-hander to lead off the seventh inning, rather than Pat "Only Decent Hitter on the Giants Right Now" Burrell. Later, after Sergio Romo STRUCK OUT THE SIDE ON TEN PITCHES in the top of the eighth, Bochy chose to go with LOOGY Javier Lopez to face -- and walk three and serve up a bases-clearing double to -- five right-handed batters.

Further FURTHER compounding matters is the fact that the Giants' other number three hitter and beloved hobbit Mike Fontenot went down with a groin strain. Pinch-runner Darren Ford is also going on the DL and the Giants are recalling...Travis Ishikawa. Sabean and Bochy are adamant that they're not calling Belt up now, because -- get this -- Aubrey Huff is their first baseman and they don't need a backup.

Gotta keep reminding myself it's a damn long season and the Giants are in first place right now. But this team, man....mercy me, this team.

Giants Win Twice, Beat Dodgers 8-5

Thank God for Cody Ross

It's not often that your team wins and you're just so burnt out and frazzled and disappointed with the game that you can't even really enjoy it. Please see tonight's game against the Dodgers for reference.

The Giants, who have basically never scored a run against Clayton Kershaw, touched him for four runs and drove him from the game early. Matt Cain was pitching one of the most brilliant games of his career, completely shutting down the Dodgers offense. Then, in the eighth inning, the Giants -- for the third time in as many days -- blew their lead, with both Cain and the bullpen coughing up four runs and letting the Dodgers tie the game. Bruce Bochy, to his credit, managed the inning perfectly, but everything went wrong. He left Cain in just long enough, who gave up a single and got a pop fly out. Then he brought in LOOGY Javier Lopez, who struck out lefty Andre Ethier. Then he brought in Sergio Romo to pitch to righty Matt Kemp...and hung a slider for a single, runners at first and second, two out. Given Romo's penchant for hanging sliders in big situations, Bochy went to Brian Wilson for the four-pitch save...but apparently it was bad Brian Wilson, and he gave up a double to Uribe, which scored two. Then, just to drive home that the Giants are really being the Giants like crazy all over the place, Aubrey Huff inexplicably didn't go for a routine grounder, allowing a single and letting the tying run score.

Probably the lone highlight of the Giants looking completely hopeless with their bats and with their gloves these past couple weeks has been Bochy's simmering, barely-contained rage.

BUT THEN, in the top of the ninth inning, Cody Ross belted a HUGE three-run, two-out homer. Wilson gives up a leadoff single but gets a strikeout and two groundouts. Ballgame.

So why was this such a brutal game? Well, beyond the fact that Cain was denied a win due to a ridiculous bullpen performance (Brian Wilson now leads the team in wins, and is on pace for 15 wins and 46 saves), and despite the fact that, although the Giants had 13 hits and were 5-for-9 with RISP, the Ross homer was the only extra-base hit for the Giants all evening, there were ominous events right and left.

Mark DeRosa, mired in an 0-for-23 slump, flinched away from a ball in the dirt in the fourth inning, and his surgically-repaired/ruined wrist exploded.

It was really a shame, and based on DeRosa's reaction, not only is it not good news, but it may be the injury that finally ends his career.

Really, it was sadder than I can describe. DeRosa has shown a desire to play, and to perform this season after spending the last couple of years hurt. You could tell this was a dude who honest-to-god loves this game to death and would do anything to prove himself to his team and the fans, but his body just isn't on his side any more -- if it ever was. During one of his at-bats tonight, Vin Scully started reading the list of injuries DeRosa has had in his career. I missed the intro to the list and for a while, as he reeled off injury upon injury, thought he was listing all of the injuries this season for the NL West teams. It was a really, REALLY long list.

Mark DeRosa's a hell of a dude, and I really want nothing but the best for him, but I really think he may call it a career following this. a terrible way to wrap things up.

So with all of that in mind, watching the Giants blow a lead, you can imagine how it felt when Aaron Rowand hurt his back running out a groundout to lead off the ninth inning. You can FURTHER imagine how it felt in the bottom of the ninth, when Brian Wilson, trying for the winsave, steps in a hole and twists his ankle while trying to get the next-to-last out.

So there's your Giants, back in first place thanks to the Phillies beating the Rockies today. Their bats aren't convincingly alive, their defense is highly suspect, their once-unbeatable bullpen is extremely shaky, and three of their players may be injured after tonight (not counting Freddy Sanchez's swollen knee).

Brian Wilson would be the biggest hit. The Giants have more than enough outfielders without Rowand, and without whatever-the-hell reason Bochy has for playing him more often than not, it would mean more at-bats for Burrell and Torres, which is great. When DeRosa goes back on the DL, it means Mighty Mike Fontenot (who took over with a 2-2 count against Clayton Kershaw when DeRosa had to leave and took two pitches for a huge walk, then went on to add another walk, a hit, and a spectacular couple of plays, one of which ended the game) could become the everyday SS along with spelling Sanchez. It also means the Giants possibly send down pinch-runner/seventh outfielder Darren Ford and call up Manny Burriss and/or Ryan Rohlinger and/or Brandon Belt. There is talk up bringing up Belt and moving Huff to third, which, no. Michael Tejada had a pair of RBI singles tonight, but I'll need a few more games of productivity before I believe Burriss or Rohlinger aren't a massive upgrade over Tejada/DeRosa on the left side of the infield.

Anyway, that's more than enough feelings for this evening. Tomorrow is another huge game for the Giants, as 0-7 Madison Bumgarner goes for his first win. Same as it ever was.

Ross the Boss Releases Kraken, Giants Win 3-0, Sweep Rockies

Cody Ross returned from wherever the hell he went, driving in all three Giants runs, included a pink-batted home run, his first of the year.

Ryan Vogelsong continues to be the best Barry Zito replacement ever, pitching five perfect innings. He ended up going six and a third, giving up two hits and a walk, and nothing else. The Giants bullpen continues their dominance, and the Giants captured their first sweep of the season and...get this...their first Sunday win of the season. Happy Mother's Day, Giants fans!

With the sweep, the Giants now sit only one game behind the Rockies in the National League West. Oh, Michael Tejada went 0-for-3. He's now hitting a blistering .195. Andres Torres and Mark DeRosa return from the DL this week. Tejada will probably be "getting some time off," since Operation: Bat Mike Fontenot Third is rolling steadily along.

Ho-Hum, Another Walkoff Win: Giants over Rockies, 3-2

I heard things

Operation: Bat Mike Fontenot Third had its most palpable results to date. The diminuitive dynamo had a double and a leaping line-drive snag at the most key of moments that, if you don't see it on Web Gems tomorrow, somebody done fucked up. But most importantly, Fontenot came up in a tie game with runners at first and second and nobody out in the bottom of the ninth. He showed bunt, and took a pitch low. He showed bunt, and bunted a pitch foul. He showed bunt, and hit the deck as a wild pitch sailed a foot over his head (so like five feet high) and went to the backstop. The runners advanced to second and third, so you know what Mike Fontenot did? On the next pitch, he busted a deep fly ball to the warning track in right field and he DROVE THAT RUN THE FUCK IN.

That may seem like the most fundamental baseball sense in the world, but that's the type of thing the Giants have not been doing in 2011, and to an extent, something they've been doing the past few years. The Giants of last night and tonight look like a hell of a team. They've been picking themselves off the floor and coming back just when you think there's no way they can. If this team ever starts firing on all cylinders and has all their key players healthy at the same time, look out.

Something else that's really impressed me the past two games: Bruce Bochy isn't afraid to use his closer as a stopper. Brian Wilson has pitched two solid innings in the top of the ninth inning in back-to-back tied games. This is a great way to play baseball. Also, it's clear that Bochy has a much keener grasp on how to handle his bullpen than does Clint Hurdle, and that may have won the game tonight.

The Giants try to avoid the sweep tomorrow. Posey will be wearing pink Mother's Day cleats and some of the B-squad may be starting, as is Bochy's modus operandi when the Giants take the first two games in a three-game series. But the Giants have an off day on Monday, so who knows?

By the way, Michael Tejada: still useless.

Giants Do It For Willie, Beat Rockies 4-3

PUMPED

On Willie Mays' 80th birthday, on the day that was declared Willie Mays Day by the mayor of San Francisco, on the day where the Giants are playing their 11th game in a row after a flight from New York last night with the team mired in a hellacious slump on all fronts...there was a stunning, come-from-behind storybook evening. A game that was won on deep at-bats, clutch hits in late innings, sparkling defense, and unlikely heroes. It was...perfect. Eventually, anyway.

Matt Cain pitched 7 strong but gave up three runs to the Rockies, including giving up Troy Tulowitzki's 100th career tater. Unfortunately, the Giants looked as pathetic as ever on offense, going without a hit against Ubaldo Jiminez through the first four innings.

That doesn't really tell the whole story, however. The Giants had really fantastic at-bats all evening. They got Jiminez up to the 100 pitch mark in no time, made him throw a 20+ pitch first inning -- something the Giants never, EVER do -- took a ton of walks even before they got a hit, and just looked unlucky, getting the living daylights BABIP'd out of them. They were blistering pitches, just right at people. Rockies fielders waved their gloves blindly at seeing-eye grounders, which would seeing-eye right into the webbing. The breaks that Giants usually have go against them kept going against them.

BUT THEN in the sixth inning, Operation: Bat Mike Fontenot Third paid off yet again, with the hammerin' Hobbit getting a leadoff triple, then coming home to get the Giants on the board on Posey's fielder's choice. Huff struck out and Pat Burrell picked up his third walk of the night. with two on and two out, Nate Schierholz grounded out. Fontenot also contributed with an AMAZING defensive play in the top of the seventh inning. Mike Tejada had a leadoff single in the bottom of the seventh inning, but karma kicked in and he was left stranded as the Giants got three straight outs.

BUT THEN in the bottom of the eighth, Fontenot flied out, Posey got a big opposite-field single (a "Posey Special"), and Aubrey Huff struck out. With two outs, Pat Burrell had a grinder of an at-bat, then belted a double to Triples Alley (irony!), and a cannon-armed toss held up Posey at third. Darren "Vroom" Ford came in to run for Burrell and here was Nate Schierholz again, batting with two on and two out. He had yet another great at-bat, and doubled down the left-field line and plated both runs, tying the game.

Brian Wilson came in to pitch the top of the ninth, looking like Saturn about to eat his kid's heads. He tossed a seven-pitch inning and then here came the Giants again. Late replacement and slumper supreme Cody Ross led off the bottom of the ninth with a double down the right-field line. Aaron Rowand struck out (on a low slider, shock of shocks), and OTHER supreme slumper Freddy Sanchez came up. With the crowd rocking and rolling and chanting "FREDDY, FREDDY," Sanchez slapped a ball up the middle, just past Tulo's glove and into center field. Ross came roaring around third and scored standing up, one exultant fist held high.

The fireworks went off, Tony Bennett sang, the Giants hopped up and down and whooped and hollered, and I like to think Willie Mays was watching it all with a smile on his face. Earlier today, a thousand sports writers typed tens of thousands of words about what the Say Hey Kid means to baseball, and what he has meant to sports fans and to the world for about the past sixty years. Before the game, Willie shed a few tears as he chatted with his friends and teammates from the Black Barons, and with McCovey and Alou and Gaylord Perry, and listened to glowing words from Jon Miller and Lon Simmons and Tony Bennett and Barack Obama and Bill Clinton and Hank Aaron and Bill Cosby and forty-something thousand fans whose hearts swell with pride knowing that he belongs to them and vice versa, forever. And late tonight, at 24 Willie Mays Plaza, in the most gorgeous ballpark in baseball, a bunch of beat-up and dog-tired slump-stricken ne'er-do-wells -- and defending World Champions, as unlikely as it still seems -- came from behind to beat their hottest division rivals, and bring joy to the hearts of San Francisco fans all over again.

Say Hey! Thanks, Kid.

Giants Avoid Sweep, Fall to Mets 5-2

Babe Fontenot

That was...decidedly less fun.

Once again, the Giants fail to sweep, but end up coming off their ten-game road trip going 5-5, and I'll take it. How they managed to win five games playing as badly as they did for the past two weeks either says a lot about how good the 2011 Giants are, or how bad the 2011 Pirates, Nationals, and Mets are.

Operation: Bat Mike Fontenot Third continues to bear fruit, with Lil' Fontie going 1 for 2 with two walks and a big fly. Huff went hitless again, and the B-squad of Whiteside, Schierholz and Burriss did about what you'd expect. (Nothing.) Cody Ross continues to come up short in big situations, even after shaving and going to long pants. WHAT ELSE CAN HE DO YOU GUYS

The real loser was Jonathan Sanchez, who turned in what, honestly, was probably only his third-most Jonathan Sanchez-esque outing this season, walking the eight and nine hitters with two out before giving up a triple to Jose Reyes, and giving up a rare home run to Carlos Beltran. He continues to be all over the place, walking scores of hitters. To make matters worse, he didn't bother running on a terrible, terrible bunt attempt and bunted into a "lol we've got all day" inning-ending double-play. Bochy openly yelled at him in the dugout after that, and I hope he used his choicest and most insulting cusses. Bochy is scheduled to have a "private meeting" with Sanchez in the next couple days, and I'm going to assume that means taking him out back and giving him a blanket party.

Hank Schulman is under the impression that Mark DeRosa will be getting a chance to replace Mike Tejada at third base. That's fine in theory, as a trained sea elephant and most untrained walruses could turn in the type of performance that Tejada has shown thus far, but Mark DeRosa is essentially Mr. Glass from "Unbreakable." If he lasts a month without going on the DL again I'll be shocked.

The esteemed Mr. Tejada went 0 for 4 yesterday, notably coming up in the top of the ninth with the Giants down three runs, 1 out and the bases loaded. He struck out. It should be noted that he worked the count and did not ground into a double play, so the argument could be made that this is a vast improvement. It should also be noted that the next batter was pinch-hittin' Buster Posey, who grounded out. But it should ALSO also be noted that Tejada stinks and I can't imagine the Giants aren't thinking about cutting their losses and going with Sluggin' Mike Fontenot and whatever else they have once Sandoval returns from having surgery on his hamate bone. (It's the bone Sandoval uses to eat ham, so you know it's got a lot of wear on it.)

Giants Strike Out 16, Win 2-0

Ace.

Mercy me but don't these last two games feel wonderful. "Operation: Bat Mike Fontenot Third in the Order" continues to be a rousing success. The mighty little hobbit was 1 for 3 but had two walks, an RBI, a run scored and had by far the best Giants at-bats of the evening. Huff has officially snapped his streak, going 3 for4.

There was a whole section of Giants fans at Citi Field tonight, whooping and hollering the whole game and being generally awesome. If you were at a Mets game, you probably wouldn't cheer the Mets, either.

But of course, the real story tonight is the almighty Tim Lincecum, who had trouble locating early but went seven strong, 128 pitches, 12 Ks, no earned runs. He has now passed Christy Mathewson for the most-ever 10+ K games by a Giants pitcher. Mathewson pitched over 500 games with the Giants. Lincecum has pitched 129. Clearly, Lincecum is way better than Hall of Famer Christy Mathewson, one of the greatest pitchers who ever lived. I told you guys to watch, but you didn't listen, did you?

Brian Wilson also looked the best he's looked in a real, real long time, striking out the first two batters he faced on six pitches. He only needed 12 pitches to get the save, and man alive was this ever dominance by San Francisco pitching. The only member of the Mets starting lineup without a strikeout was Carlos Beltran. Even Jose Reyes went 0-for-4 after reaching base six times last night.

The bad news, part one: Giants were 2 for 11 with runners in scoring position. Not terrible news, since it's a lot better than they WERE.

The bad news, part two: Buster Posey has not broken out of his slump quite yet, going 0 for 5 again tonight.

The bad news, part three: obviously, I have to discuss Tejada. He always manages to scratch out one hit a night, it seems, just enough to stay above .200, but it always comes in a worthless situation (2 outs, no one on, pitcher coming up next), or produce the wrong effect (runner on third, infield in, hits a slow topper and legs it out, runner frozen at third). Honestly, whenever he manages to get on base, it seems to kill rallies dead. He's not hitting for power, he's not placing the ball, he's not making solid contact, he lacks the ability to hit a sacrifice fly, and his defense could best be compared to a bucket laying on its side with "Mike" written on the side in magic marker. You'd think I'd run out of things to say about how terrible he is, but here we are.

Giants go for the sweep bright and early tomorrow, then finally head home. Humm baby.

Hilarious Lineup Boosts Giants Over Mets, 7-6

That was a hell of a game, and a different type of game than the Giants have played on the road trip thus far. It's a win they sorely needed, though both the Giants and the Mets took turns trying to give the thing a way. There were a ton of storylines converging in this one, so I'll try to tackle them one at a time.

The Giants lineup was something...different today. Tejada was batting second, Mike Fontenot (of the Shire) was batting third, and the notoriously light-hitting Emmanuel Burriss and Nate Schierholz started the game as well. Given the way the Giants have been hitting -- or more accurately, not hitting -- for the past ten games or so, I honestly thought R.A. Dickey was going to pitch a perfect game against them. These Giants of late have two approaches: either hack at the first pitch and make an out, or hack at three pitches and miss them all. According to the tireless Andrew Baggarly, Bochy arranged the lineup according to past success against knuckleballers. Well, okay. We'll get to Tejada in a moment, but the lineup eventually produced key RsBI from Fontenot, Burriss, and pitcher Ryan Vogelsong. The first seven games of this road trip had the Giants going 3-for-42 with runners in scoring position. Last night, they were 5-for-16 with runners in scoring position. That is an uptick, if nothing else.

The Giants did squander an amazing opportunity last night. After Burriss and pinch-hitter Darren Ford reached base with consecutive infield singles, the Giants had runners at the corners with the score tied 6-6 with no one out. The big go-ahead run was ninety feet from scoring. A well-placed ground ball or medium-depth fly ball would score the speedy Burriss. First up was Aaron Rowand, the hot hand of late, who popped out in foul territory just behind first base. Next up was number-two hitter Mike Tejada, who has looked absolutely awful basically since the moment the season began. He made a nearly-sparkling and important defensive play early in the game, but had grounded out weakly in his first three trips to the plate last night. The first ground-out was a one-hopper that landed a few feet in front of the pitcher, who threw on to first for the put-out. Upon hitting that ball, Tejada lunged toward first in an attempt to leg it out, then grabbed at his foot and weakly protested that he had fouled the ball off his toe. No one bought it at all. So here he was, the goat of all Giants, who had not gotten the ball out of the infield all evening, attempting to launch a fly ball and give the Giants the lead.

He popped out to second base.

Next up was Mike Fontenot, who was intentionally walked after Ford stole second. The Mets chose to pitch to Posey instead, and their gambit paid off, as he popped out to shallow center. Bruce Bochy, for the first time I've seen since he's been skipper of the Giants, was FURIOUS at this insanely pathetic display, screaming cusses and kicking at the steps of the dugout. My respect for Bochy grew by about a million percent. I don't know how he kept his composure this long. I would have chased Tejada around the clubhouse with a bat a week ago. To compound Bochy's frustration, Rowand had to come out of the game in the bottom of the ninth with tightness in his back. The only defensive replacement left? Pat Burrell. I was certain the game was about to end after a pair of doubles down the left-field line, especially since LOOGY Javier Lopez was left in to pitch the entire ninth, but got out of trouble nicely.

Ryan Vogelsong did not pitch well, giving up a pair of lead-changing home runs in a back-and-forth game, and having a lot of trouble locating all night. He only lasted four innings, but he did pick up a vital base hit with RISP. He doesn't get that hit and the Giants don't win. He still probably pitched a better game than Zito would have.

The rampant rumors flying around this week are that the Giants and Mets are talking about a potential trade for Jose Reyes, since Fontenot is doing a fine job but is a natural second baseman, and their other "shortstop" is the flummoxed crybaby with "TEJADA" on the back of his road grays. Reports indicate the Mets may be willing to part with Reyes in exchange for pitching prospect Zach Wheeler and a little more. The Giants would probably jump at that if they were also able to get an exclusive negotiating period with Reyes, who becomes a free agent at the end of the year. Still, I'd give up Wheeler to get a worst-case-scenario Reyes rental for the rest of the year. But that's just me. AND EVERY OTHER GIANTS FAN. Reyes, for his part, had to be aware of the rumors, and just to taunt the Giants, he reached base in all six plate appearances last night, going 3-for-3 with 3 walks, a stolen base and some RsBI.

Aubrey Huff snapped a nifty 0-for-20 slump with a huge bomb to right field to lead off the top of the tenth. Thanks to a relatively stress-free bottom of the tenth for Brian Wilson (he went to a full count with only three of the four batters he faced), the Giants had this one in the bag. Simple!

Lincecum is on the hill today, so tune in. Always a potential for something special on Lincecum Day.