Giants Lose 2-1, of Course

Clayton Kershaw has faced the Giants five times this season, and is 5-0. Four of those contests have been against Lincecum. Here's how those games turned out:

KERSHAW VS. LINCECUM
March 31 @ LA (opening day): Dodgers 2, Giants 1
July 20 @ SF: Dodgers 1, Giants 0
Sept. 9 @SF: Dodgers 2, Giants 1
Sept. 20 @LA: Dodgers 2, Giants 1

Also, here's the only other thing you need to know about the Giants behind Tim Lincecum this year, courtesy of Andrew Baggarly:

The Giants have scored one run or fewer in 16 of Lincecum’s 32 starts.

Blech. Not a lot to say here. The Giants could have gained yet another game on the Diamondbacks last night and stayed on pace in the Wild Card hunt, but the warming glow of the 8-game win streak is done, and since Bochy's all-right-handed lineup (with Cody Ross and Pat Burrell conveniently injured) consists of Justin Christian, Mark De Rosa (batting cleanup!), and Orlando Cabrera, the inevitable just got inevitable-er. Gross.

One last thing: Chris Stewart delivered the only Giants run last night, a solo shot for his third home run of both the season and his career. Since Buster Posey died, Stewart has been platooning with Eli Whiteside under the assumption that Whiteside was much better with the bat than Stew. Here are their current slash lines:

Whiteside: .207/.276/.325, 4 HR

Stewart: .211/.291/.323, 3 HR

Whiteside has three more walks than Stewart in 51 more ABs, but he also has FORTY-ONE more strikeouts than Stewart. For dudes hitting almost exclusively in the 8-hole, it's pretty obvious that Stewart is the much, MUCH better option here out of two exceedingly lousy options. Especially when you add in the huge defensive upgrade that Stewart is over Whiteside. Whiteside has at least one catcher interference call against him per start, which is way off the league average of "never" for his position.

Stewart throws out about 40% of baserunners, while Whiteside throws out 26%, which honestly sounds WAYYYYY too high to be right so I must not be looking at the correct numbers there. Everyone runs against Whitey, and he is good for at least a few passed balls per game. He's rotten on both offense and defense, and if nothing else, Stewart's proficiency at sacrificing and making contact makes him a no-brainer in a Poseyless world.

I'm really terrified that Whiteside will be the backup catcher over Stewart or Hector Sanchez next year, and that would be just the worst thing.

Giants Manage Not to Mess the Bed, Win 6-0

Chris Stewart has been playing professional baseball for ten years. He's a plus-defense catcher with a great, if not entirely accurate, arm. He seems like the nicest dude in the world, and although he's not the offensive threat that Eli Whiteside is (note: Eli Whiteside can hardly be considered an "offensive threat" by any stretch), he doesn't fill you with cold terror every time Tim Lincecum throws a breaking ball in the dirt. This is important. Tim Lincecum is famously particular about his catchers, and the fact that he usually wants to throw to Stewart above Whiteside should tell you a lot.

The Whiteside/Stewart platoon that has been foisted upon us from that fateful day that Buster Posey's ankle flew to smithereens has been tough to watch on the best of days, but Eli Whiteside's bunny-hopping in front of Shane Victorino last week finally made the city of San Francisco chuckle to themselves and say, "Hey, maybe Whitey's okay after all." (Note: Eli Whiteside's nickname is actually "Whitey" because why not.)

It helps that he also made a sweet tackle.

And it also helps that he made a sweet catch on a foul bunt.

And yes, Eli Whiteside even hit a home run in that horrible losing effort that firmly entrenched the Phillies as loathsome arch-fiends in the mind of every Giants fan from now until forever. That has long been the dividing line between Whiteside and Stewart: Eli Whiteside hits home runs a few times a year. Chris Stewart has never hit a major-league home run.

Until last night. Chris Stewart took a first pitch over the left-field wall for his first career home run, and man alive was it a great moment. The grin on his face when he was greeted on the top step by Guillermo "Two Career Home Runs" Mota was possibly my favorite moment of the year. I'm really happy for the guy. Moreso than I'm happy the Giants were able to give Madison Bumgarner a dominating win when they all needed one most. Stay alive, bats. Please, please stay alive.

Lots of stories here. Huff possibly beginning to bounce back. Sergio Romo continuing his dominance. Madison Bumgarner doing historically fantastic things that no freshly-turned-22-year-old has any right doing. But I'm sticking with the Tale of Two Catchers (But Most Importantly the Catcher I Like Best).

So here's to you, Chris Stewart. Here's to your fist-pumping after big strikeouts. Here's to your amazingly fast unloads that sometimes result in fantastic plays. Here's to you being the best sac bunter the Giants have. But here's to you hitting a home run for a major league baseball team, which is forever at #1 on my "Best Feats You Could Accomplish in Life" list.

Giants Squeeze Out Series Win, Beat Padres 4-3 in 11th

Cody Ross shows Brian Wilson how many walks he gave up in that half-inning

The suicide squeeze. Bochy almost never uses it, but he used it yesterday, and it was awesome. The Giants tied a San Francisco record with six stolen bases, which they hadn't done since a Mike Krukow start in 1987. The Giants won another extra-inning game against San Diego, but if Eli Whiteside hadn't spent ten second trying to lie to an umpire while a dude was running to first base, it never would have gone past regulation. So it goes with these schnooks. Thank god for Chris Stewart, who executed two perfect sacrifices, including the game-winning squeeze, and started a game-saving 2-5-4 double-play on a bunt in the bottom of the eleventh. Go to hell, Eli Whiteside.

I've been sort of dancing around this all season, but Brian Wilson really isn't that great of a pitcher, particularly in save situations. "More guts than stuff" is pretty friggin' apt, but I have a feeling that bubble is going to burst at any time. I honestly trust him less than literally any other person in the bullpen, including Santiago Casilla and Jeremy Affeldt. If Sergio Romo were the Giants closer, I would breathe a sigh of relief knowing he was coming in for the ninth. With Wilson, it's how many walks and hits he's going to give up before wrapping the thing up. To be fair, he blows (relatively) very few saves, and I really hope for him to do well. When his stuff is working, it's ridiculously nasty, but all too often he is counting on a notoriously wide strike zone, nibbles at corners and ends up walking dudes, and either doesn't trust his filthiest pitches or can't find them. I can't think of a time where Wilson has come in for a save and I've thought, "Oh, we've got this one." Doesn't happen. But I guess that's what makes being a Giants fan so stressful/exciting, and I guess that's more fun and entertaining in the long run than games where you just score a billion runs and don't have to worry about saves at all. Phillies and Yankees and Red Sox and Rangers fans must be just so bored.

I was actively rooting for the Dodgers all weekend, but the Diamondbacks proved too much for them. Now I'm expecting the Dodgers to roll into AT&T and take two of three while stealing all of the guest towels and busking for bus fare back home. The Diamondbacks are hosting the Brewers, who I'm hoping just maul and annihilate them for three straight, but the snakes gave them fits back in Milwaukee, so who even knows any more.

Pennant fever: catch it!

GAME TWO: Giants 6, Cubs 3: what is this i don't even

Show a little decorum Cody, geez.

Thankfully, the "expecting the worst" approach worked pretty well. Barry Zito only gave up two runs on an unfortunate homer, which is better than most were expecting. The Giants scored 19 runs in two games today, which not only brought them back to a positive run differential, but also took them from dead last in the majors in terms of offense, to fifth-worst. A momentous day, to be certain.

So the Giants have won seven in a row now. Somehow. Literally everyone got a hit today (except Barry Zito, but let's not be silly dudes). Manny Burriss got his first extra-base hit since 2007. Cody Ross and Pablo Sandoval barely -- BARELY -- missed home runs. The Giants are still kind of lousy at getting hits with runners in scoring position, but on the other hand, Nate Schierholtz is a two-strike clutch-hit machine.

Something else that's come out of the past week: Chris Stewart. He got called up to be Eli Whiteside's backup catcher when that whole...you know... thing went down. The line on him was that he was a good defensive catcher who was slightly worse than Eli Whiteside with the bat. (Which is kind of like saying that a dude with his upper body on fire is slightly less on fire than a guy with his whole body on fire.) But Whiteside kept letting every ball get past him, couldn't throw out a single base runner, and hit Eli Whiteside-level bad. He caught like four games in a row a couple weeks ago and then went "Oh, my body," and sat in a tub of ice for a bunch of days. While old greyhead was trying to keep his kneecaps from sliding down into his feet, Stewart started a mess of games, blocked tons of pitches, hosed all kinds of fools (seriously, he has a major cannon), called spectacular games, and his fist pumps got the fans and his pitchers fired up, all while hitting well above the Eli Whiteside line. As a bonus, his face is way less punchable than Eli's, which is nice. The Giants still have their eye on Yorvit Torrealba or whoever because they clearly need a real, actual catcher, but I am a huge fan of Stewart now. I'll take him over Whiteside, even though Whitey once hit a grand slam, and that was pretty neat. Also, his nickname is "Whitey."

Giants Play Legitimate Baseball Game, Beat Reds 4-2

He's a good leadoff hitter, but the real money is in his hambone solos.

Early on, it looked like the same old, ridiculous Giants. Leadoff walk gets thrown out on a stupid steal attempt, a swing and miss on a hit-and-run, and Jonathan Sanchez walking batters who clearly couldn't even tell where the ball was going. But they turned it around and played a for-real baseball game. Huff got some hits and a couple of RBI. Schierholtz stayed in the game against a lefty and immediately lofted a sac fly for the go-ahead run. The defense was amazingly great behind a shaky Sanchez (pretty much the only guy who shows up these days). The Giants worked counts, the Reds made mistakes, and the good guys walked away with the win after outplaying Dusty Baker's lineup of mashers. Javier Lopez made Joey Votto and Jay Bruce look like they'd never held a bat before. It's a good win.

Pablo Sandoval comes back tomorrow as the Giants open a series in Arizona against the second-place Diamondbacks. A huge series. The Giants need some bats, and fast. Chris Stewart got the start at catcher yesterday and got a double, drew a walk, and gunned down a guy trying to steal second base. These are things that Eli Whiteside basically can't do. Stewart may have even blocked a pitch in the dirt at one point! Still, they need a for-real catcher. With Sandoval back and Fontenot coming back soon, it will be an interesting couple of weeks to see how Huff and the newly-arrived Bill Hall continue to perform. It will be July 31 soon, and the Giants will likely need a lot more help a lot sooner. It's scary, but it probably won't be dull.

- Bill

Royals 3, Blue Jays 2: Ricky Romero, King of Run Support

Ricky Romero is roughly this happy all of the time.

Ricky Romero threw a complete game and lost 3-2 because nobody but the rookie catcher got anything done with the bat. Were a calamitous injury to now befall that fresh-faced catcher, I would know exactly what it's like to be a Giants fan.


KS

Brandon Crawford. Eli Whiteside. Giants Win, 5-4

Image courtesy of the incomparable Natto.

Brandon Crawford, promoted from high-A, hit a grand slam in his first major league game. Eli Whiteside countered Prince Fielder's forearm shiver with a Falcon Punch. The Giants win a vitally important game, and that is awesome.

Ryan Vogelsong Has the Nerve to Allow One Run, Giants Lose 1-0

THE UNMITIGATED GALL

Well, this went about as well as expected on The Day After. Posey wouldn't have started today anyway, given he caught 12 innings of baseball last night, but the amazing, AMAZING news was that Brandon Belt was called up today and got to watch Aubrey Huff swing and miss at balls in the dirt roughly a million and twelve times.

Great takeaways: Ryan Vogelsong looks like he's really for real, really. He went eight strong and walked one and allowed one measly run. The Giants never had a chance from that point on.

Rumors are still flying fast and heavy about Posey's injury, how long he'll be out, and who the Giants might try to make a deal for in a vain attempt to snag an above-average rental catcher. It would all be pretty funny if not for the palpable regret. Giants get swept at home and hit the road to meet up with the red-hot Brewers. Hey, there's only holes at first, third, short, and catcher now. Things are looking up!

Requiem for Buster Posey

It had been a rough season for young Gerald Posey.

The reigning National League Rookie of the Year and World Series Champion had been getting dinged up for two months straight. Foul balls finding the small gaps in his catcher's gear. Bats hitting him in the hands and wrists on opponents' backswings. Sometimes taking two or three foul tips in one game right off his facemask. Giants brass and coaching staff said they were worried, and for good reason.

The postseason hero who energized and led a team to the most unlikely and overdue world championship in recent memory was starting his first full season in the majors as the most vital component of an iffy ball club. The Giants, who knocked the cover off the ball throughout Spring Training, have been utterly bereft offensively since the season began. Their first place standing in the National League West in late May is a tribute to sheer luck and little else. The team is last in runs scored in the NL, last in home runs, last in everything and -- get this -- they have a negative run differential.

Posey was the glue that held this team together. He managed the Giants well-stocked pitching staff with ability that belied his years of expertise. Posey, as it is widely reported, was a lifelong shortstop before moving behind the plate in college. As the Giants front office has wrung their hands about the abuse Posey has taken behind the plate this season, there has been a smattering of Giants fans asking, "Well, why don't we move him back to the left side of the infield? There's a hole or two over there, you know." The response, when these obvious lunatics have been humored, is that Posey is a catcher or a fill-in first baseman. Catching, we're told, is Posey's "calling." And I get that, I really do.

But I sat in the living room on Wednesday night, watching the Giants game on my computer as it went to extra innings. As Scott Cousins barreled toward Posey, I held my breath. The throw from Schierholtz in right field was a good one. It always is. It was going to be an extremely close play. An instant later, Posey's helmet flies off as he's sent sprawling. He flops to his stomach, clutching at the dirt in agony, writhing around and pounding at the ground in despair, and frustration, and hopelessness. I find myself audibly saying, "Oh no!"

I'm reminded of my grandmother, crying out from the dark of my father's bedroom, where she's laying in bed and listening to the Giants game on the radio. My grandmother -- who taught me what baseball was and who the Giants were and how to love both of them -- was no stranger to yelling at the radio during baseball games, but this was altogether different. It was a wail of despair, and I'm pretty sure the first intelligible words out of her mouth were, "Oh no!" My sister and I ran in to see what was the matter. The Giants were in Montreal, and Dave Dravecky had just tumbled off the mound after throwing a pitch, his cancer-weakened arm shattered. How could this be? We'd just been there at Candlestick, live and in person, for his comeback win against the Reds. It was only five days ago! He was right there! But then...he was gone.

Buster Posey is not Dave Dravecky. Nor is he Jorge de la Rosa, the Colorado Rockies' de facto ace, who has just gone down for the season with a ligament tear in his pitching elbow. He'll need Tommy John surgery, but as far as pitching injuries go, he's likely to return to 100%. The early news with Posey is that it's a broken leg, along with torn tendons. We probably won't see him again in 2011. We may never see him catch again. Is it career-threatening? Too soon to tell.

I keep trying to thing of another time that the single most key player on a team has gone down with a season-ending injury on a potential playoff team, and I keep coming up empty. Maybe the Giants will rebound from this. Maybe Posey will come back sooner than we think. Maybe it will all be okay. But it's the uncertainty that really fills Giants fans with despair. That was the hardest part of watching Posey react to his injury last night. As someone who has gotten injured plenty and seen plenty of people I care about get severely injured, that was the one emotion I recognized most clearly: despair.

I have this awful feeling that this is what I'll be thinking about in October. Watching a young man become consumed with despair, and Giants fans being completely unable to do anything other than say, "Oh no."

Giants Suffer Worst Loss of Season, Lose in 12 Innings, 7-6

Okay, so I wrote the below post during the bottom of the ninth, but amazingly Aubrey Huff got his only hit of the game to tie the it at 6 and send the game to extra innings. Most of what I wrote below still stands. This could have been an amazing comeback game, but the Giants not only lost the game and Mike Fontenot, they also lost Buster Posey when he tweaked his ankle badly on a home-plate collision as the Marlins scored the winning run.

This is terrible. This is...just terrible. Original post below, for posterity.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

This is exactly correct.

There was really no chance for the Giants to win once the Marlins plated two in the top of the first inning. Compounding matters was Aubrey Huff going 0-for-5 with three strikeouts in the number three spot, looking like his numbers suggest: that he's possibly the worst position player in baseball right now. His OPS is currently sixty points lower than it was in his disastrous 2009 season. He killed literally every rally single-handedly, and ended the game for the Giants, with runners on second and third in the bottom of the ninth.

Further compounding matters was the insane decisions Bruce Bochy made. Down by one run, he chose to pinch-hit AARON ROWAND against a left-hander to lead off the seventh inning, rather than Pat "Only Decent Hitter on the Giants Right Now" Burrell. Later, after Sergio Romo STRUCK OUT THE SIDE ON TEN PITCHES in the top of the eighth, Bochy chose to go with LOOGY Javier Lopez to face -- and walk three and serve up a bases-clearing double to -- five right-handed batters.

Further FURTHER compounding matters is the fact that the Giants' other number three hitter and beloved hobbit Mike Fontenot went down with a groin strain. Pinch-runner Darren Ford is also going on the DL and the Giants are recalling...Travis Ishikawa. Sabean and Bochy are adamant that they're not calling Belt up now, because -- get this -- Aubrey Huff is their first baseman and they don't need a backup.

Gotta keep reminding myself it's a damn long season and the Giants are in first place right now. But this team, man....mercy me, this team.

Giants Snatch Defeat From Jaws of Completely Blowing it, Sweep D-Backs 3-2

Nate Schierholtz, everybody

The Giants swept their home stand, going 6-0 and taking sole possession of first place in the NL West. They didn't win more than five games in a row all last year. Their current run of winning games without any offense is totally unsustainable, but I'm going to enjoy it while it lasts. Well, not "enjoy," but "begrudgingly accept." Most of these games are no treat to watch.

Giants pitchers with three wins: Tim Lincecum, Matt Cain, Jonathan Sanchez, Brian Wilson. Giants pitchers that are 0-5: Madison Bumgarner.

The Giants got a lot of help from bit players yesterday: Eli Whiteside had a couple of doubles and Nate Schierholz had a three-hit day and the spectacular play you see above. Want to guess how Michael Tejada did? Go ahead, guess. According to Bay City Ball, Tejada isn't the worst Giants shortstop ever, so good for him!

Giants start another road trip in a couple of hours, opening a series at Wrigley today before a pair of two-game series against the Dodgers and Rockies. Short, but important road trip. Really, really hoping the bats wake up at some point in the next few days. There could be dire consequences otherwise.

Giants who are hitting, as of 5/13/11: Andres Torres, Nate Schierholz, Eli Whiteside, Cody Ross (kinda)

Giants who aren't hitting, as of 5/13/11: Freddy Sanchez, Aubrey Huff, Buster Posey, Mike Fontenot, Mark DeRosa, Tejada

Giants who are hitting, but not playing: Pat Burrell

Ho-Hum, Another Walkoff Win: Giants over Rockies, 3-2

I heard things

Operation: Bat Mike Fontenot Third had its most palpable results to date. The diminuitive dynamo had a double and a leaping line-drive snag at the most key of moments that, if you don't see it on Web Gems tomorrow, somebody done fucked up. But most importantly, Fontenot came up in a tie game with runners at first and second and nobody out in the bottom of the ninth. He showed bunt, and took a pitch low. He showed bunt, and bunted a pitch foul. He showed bunt, and hit the deck as a wild pitch sailed a foot over his head (so like five feet high) and went to the backstop. The runners advanced to second and third, so you know what Mike Fontenot did? On the next pitch, he busted a deep fly ball to the warning track in right field and he DROVE THAT RUN THE FUCK IN.

That may seem like the most fundamental baseball sense in the world, but that's the type of thing the Giants have not been doing in 2011, and to an extent, something they've been doing the past few years. The Giants of last night and tonight look like a hell of a team. They've been picking themselves off the floor and coming back just when you think there's no way they can. If this team ever starts firing on all cylinders and has all their key players healthy at the same time, look out.

Something else that's really impressed me the past two games: Bruce Bochy isn't afraid to use his closer as a stopper. Brian Wilson has pitched two solid innings in the top of the ninth inning in back-to-back tied games. This is a great way to play baseball. Also, it's clear that Bochy has a much keener grasp on how to handle his bullpen than does Clint Hurdle, and that may have won the game tonight.

The Giants try to avoid the sweep tomorrow. Posey will be wearing pink Mother's Day cleats and some of the B-squad may be starting, as is Bochy's modus operandi when the Giants take the first two games in a three-game series. But the Giants have an off day on Monday, so who knows?

By the way, Michael Tejada: still useless.

Giants Do It For Willie, Beat Rockies 4-3

PUMPED

On Willie Mays' 80th birthday, on the day that was declared Willie Mays Day by the mayor of San Francisco, on the day where the Giants are playing their 11th game in a row after a flight from New York last night with the team mired in a hellacious slump on all fronts...there was a stunning, come-from-behind storybook evening. A game that was won on deep at-bats, clutch hits in late innings, sparkling defense, and unlikely heroes. It was...perfect. Eventually, anyway.

Matt Cain pitched 7 strong but gave up three runs to the Rockies, including giving up Troy Tulowitzki's 100th career tater. Unfortunately, the Giants looked as pathetic as ever on offense, going without a hit against Ubaldo Jiminez through the first four innings.

That doesn't really tell the whole story, however. The Giants had really fantastic at-bats all evening. They got Jiminez up to the 100 pitch mark in no time, made him throw a 20+ pitch first inning -- something the Giants never, EVER do -- took a ton of walks even before they got a hit, and just looked unlucky, getting the living daylights BABIP'd out of them. They were blistering pitches, just right at people. Rockies fielders waved their gloves blindly at seeing-eye grounders, which would seeing-eye right into the webbing. The breaks that Giants usually have go against them kept going against them.

BUT THEN in the sixth inning, Operation: Bat Mike Fontenot Third paid off yet again, with the hammerin' Hobbit getting a leadoff triple, then coming home to get the Giants on the board on Posey's fielder's choice. Huff struck out and Pat Burrell picked up his third walk of the night. with two on and two out, Nate Schierholz grounded out. Fontenot also contributed with an AMAZING defensive play in the top of the seventh inning. Mike Tejada had a leadoff single in the bottom of the seventh inning, but karma kicked in and he was left stranded as the Giants got three straight outs.

BUT THEN in the bottom of the eighth, Fontenot flied out, Posey got a big opposite-field single (a "Posey Special"), and Aubrey Huff struck out. With two outs, Pat Burrell had a grinder of an at-bat, then belted a double to Triples Alley (irony!), and a cannon-armed toss held up Posey at third. Darren "Vroom" Ford came in to run for Burrell and here was Nate Schierholz again, batting with two on and two out. He had yet another great at-bat, and doubled down the left-field line and plated both runs, tying the game.

Brian Wilson came in to pitch the top of the ninth, looking like Saturn about to eat his kid's heads. He tossed a seven-pitch inning and then here came the Giants again. Late replacement and slumper supreme Cody Ross led off the bottom of the ninth with a double down the right-field line. Aaron Rowand struck out (on a low slider, shock of shocks), and OTHER supreme slumper Freddy Sanchez came up. With the crowd rocking and rolling and chanting "FREDDY, FREDDY," Sanchez slapped a ball up the middle, just past Tulo's glove and into center field. Ross came roaring around third and scored standing up, one exultant fist held high.

The fireworks went off, Tony Bennett sang, the Giants hopped up and down and whooped and hollered, and I like to think Willie Mays was watching it all with a smile on his face. Earlier today, a thousand sports writers typed tens of thousands of words about what the Say Hey Kid means to baseball, and what he has meant to sports fans and to the world for about the past sixty years. Before the game, Willie shed a few tears as he chatted with his friends and teammates from the Black Barons, and with McCovey and Alou and Gaylord Perry, and listened to glowing words from Jon Miller and Lon Simmons and Tony Bennett and Barack Obama and Bill Clinton and Hank Aaron and Bill Cosby and forty-something thousand fans whose hearts swell with pride knowing that he belongs to them and vice versa, forever. And late tonight, at 24 Willie Mays Plaza, in the most gorgeous ballpark in baseball, a bunch of beat-up and dog-tired slump-stricken ne'er-do-wells -- and defending World Champions, as unlikely as it still seems -- came from behind to beat their hottest division rivals, and bring joy to the hearts of San Francisco fans all over again.

Say Hey! Thanks, Kid.

Giants Avoid Sweep, Fall to Mets 5-2

Babe Fontenot

That was...decidedly less fun.

Once again, the Giants fail to sweep, but end up coming off their ten-game road trip going 5-5, and I'll take it. How they managed to win five games playing as badly as they did for the past two weeks either says a lot about how good the 2011 Giants are, or how bad the 2011 Pirates, Nationals, and Mets are.

Operation: Bat Mike Fontenot Third continues to bear fruit, with Lil' Fontie going 1 for 2 with two walks and a big fly. Huff went hitless again, and the B-squad of Whiteside, Schierholz and Burriss did about what you'd expect. (Nothing.) Cody Ross continues to come up short in big situations, even after shaving and going to long pants. WHAT ELSE CAN HE DO YOU GUYS

The real loser was Jonathan Sanchez, who turned in what, honestly, was probably only his third-most Jonathan Sanchez-esque outing this season, walking the eight and nine hitters with two out before giving up a triple to Jose Reyes, and giving up a rare home run to Carlos Beltran. He continues to be all over the place, walking scores of hitters. To make matters worse, he didn't bother running on a terrible, terrible bunt attempt and bunted into a "lol we've got all day" inning-ending double-play. Bochy openly yelled at him in the dugout after that, and I hope he used his choicest and most insulting cusses. Bochy is scheduled to have a "private meeting" with Sanchez in the next couple days, and I'm going to assume that means taking him out back and giving him a blanket party.

Hank Schulman is under the impression that Mark DeRosa will be getting a chance to replace Mike Tejada at third base. That's fine in theory, as a trained sea elephant and most untrained walruses could turn in the type of performance that Tejada has shown thus far, but Mark DeRosa is essentially Mr. Glass from "Unbreakable." If he lasts a month without going on the DL again I'll be shocked.

The esteemed Mr. Tejada went 0 for 4 yesterday, notably coming up in the top of the ninth with the Giants down three runs, 1 out and the bases loaded. He struck out. It should be noted that he worked the count and did not ground into a double play, so the argument could be made that this is a vast improvement. It should also be noted that the next batter was pinch-hittin' Buster Posey, who grounded out. But it should ALSO also be noted that Tejada stinks and I can't imagine the Giants aren't thinking about cutting their losses and going with Sluggin' Mike Fontenot and whatever else they have once Sandoval returns from having surgery on his hamate bone. (It's the bone Sandoval uses to eat ham, so you know it's got a lot of wear on it.)

Giants Strike Out 16, Win 2-0

Ace.

Mercy me but don't these last two games feel wonderful. "Operation: Bat Mike Fontenot Third in the Order" continues to be a rousing success. The mighty little hobbit was 1 for 3 but had two walks, an RBI, a run scored and had by far the best Giants at-bats of the evening. Huff has officially snapped his streak, going 3 for4.

There was a whole section of Giants fans at Citi Field tonight, whooping and hollering the whole game and being generally awesome. If you were at a Mets game, you probably wouldn't cheer the Mets, either.

But of course, the real story tonight is the almighty Tim Lincecum, who had trouble locating early but went seven strong, 128 pitches, 12 Ks, no earned runs. He has now passed Christy Mathewson for the most-ever 10+ K games by a Giants pitcher. Mathewson pitched over 500 games with the Giants. Lincecum has pitched 129. Clearly, Lincecum is way better than Hall of Famer Christy Mathewson, one of the greatest pitchers who ever lived. I told you guys to watch, but you didn't listen, did you?

Brian Wilson also looked the best he's looked in a real, real long time, striking out the first two batters he faced on six pitches. He only needed 12 pitches to get the save, and man alive was this ever dominance by San Francisco pitching. The only member of the Mets starting lineup without a strikeout was Carlos Beltran. Even Jose Reyes went 0-for-4 after reaching base six times last night.

The bad news, part one: Giants were 2 for 11 with runners in scoring position. Not terrible news, since it's a lot better than they WERE.

The bad news, part two: Buster Posey has not broken out of his slump quite yet, going 0 for 5 again tonight.

The bad news, part three: obviously, I have to discuss Tejada. He always manages to scratch out one hit a night, it seems, just enough to stay above .200, but it always comes in a worthless situation (2 outs, no one on, pitcher coming up next), or produce the wrong effect (runner on third, infield in, hits a slow topper and legs it out, runner frozen at third). Honestly, whenever he manages to get on base, it seems to kill rallies dead. He's not hitting for power, he's not placing the ball, he's not making solid contact, he lacks the ability to hit a sacrifice fly, and his defense could best be compared to a bucket laying on its side with "Mike" written on the side in magic marker. You'd think I'd run out of things to say about how terrible he is, but here we are.

Giants go for the sweep bright and early tomorrow, then finally head home. Humm baby.

Hilarious Lineup Boosts Giants Over Mets, 7-6

That was a hell of a game, and a different type of game than the Giants have played on the road trip thus far. It's a win they sorely needed, though both the Giants and the Mets took turns trying to give the thing a way. There were a ton of storylines converging in this one, so I'll try to tackle them one at a time.

The Giants lineup was something...different today. Tejada was batting second, Mike Fontenot (of the Shire) was batting third, and the notoriously light-hitting Emmanuel Burriss and Nate Schierholz started the game as well. Given the way the Giants have been hitting -- or more accurately, not hitting -- for the past ten games or so, I honestly thought R.A. Dickey was going to pitch a perfect game against them. These Giants of late have two approaches: either hack at the first pitch and make an out, or hack at three pitches and miss them all. According to the tireless Andrew Baggarly, Bochy arranged the lineup according to past success against knuckleballers. Well, okay. We'll get to Tejada in a moment, but the lineup eventually produced key RsBI from Fontenot, Burriss, and pitcher Ryan Vogelsong. The first seven games of this road trip had the Giants going 3-for-42 with runners in scoring position. Last night, they were 5-for-16 with runners in scoring position. That is an uptick, if nothing else.

The Giants did squander an amazing opportunity last night. After Burriss and pinch-hitter Darren Ford reached base with consecutive infield singles, the Giants had runners at the corners with the score tied 6-6 with no one out. The big go-ahead run was ninety feet from scoring. A well-placed ground ball or medium-depth fly ball would score the speedy Burriss. First up was Aaron Rowand, the hot hand of late, who popped out in foul territory just behind first base. Next up was number-two hitter Mike Tejada, who has looked absolutely awful basically since the moment the season began. He made a nearly-sparkling and important defensive play early in the game, but had grounded out weakly in his first three trips to the plate last night. The first ground-out was a one-hopper that landed a few feet in front of the pitcher, who threw on to first for the put-out. Upon hitting that ball, Tejada lunged toward first in an attempt to leg it out, then grabbed at his foot and weakly protested that he had fouled the ball off his toe. No one bought it at all. So here he was, the goat of all Giants, who had not gotten the ball out of the infield all evening, attempting to launch a fly ball and give the Giants the lead.

He popped out to second base.

Next up was Mike Fontenot, who was intentionally walked after Ford stole second. The Mets chose to pitch to Posey instead, and their gambit paid off, as he popped out to shallow center. Bruce Bochy, for the first time I've seen since he's been skipper of the Giants, was FURIOUS at this insanely pathetic display, screaming cusses and kicking at the steps of the dugout. My respect for Bochy grew by about a million percent. I don't know how he kept his composure this long. I would have chased Tejada around the clubhouse with a bat a week ago. To compound Bochy's frustration, Rowand had to come out of the game in the bottom of the ninth with tightness in his back. The only defensive replacement left? Pat Burrell. I was certain the game was about to end after a pair of doubles down the left-field line, especially since LOOGY Javier Lopez was left in to pitch the entire ninth, but got out of trouble nicely.

Ryan Vogelsong did not pitch well, giving up a pair of lead-changing home runs in a back-and-forth game, and having a lot of trouble locating all night. He only lasted four innings, but he did pick up a vital base hit with RISP. He doesn't get that hit and the Giants don't win. He still probably pitched a better game than Zito would have.

The rampant rumors flying around this week are that the Giants and Mets are talking about a potential trade for Jose Reyes, since Fontenot is doing a fine job but is a natural second baseman, and their other "shortstop" is the flummoxed crybaby with "TEJADA" on the back of his road grays. Reports indicate the Mets may be willing to part with Reyes in exchange for pitching prospect Zach Wheeler and a little more. The Giants would probably jump at that if they were also able to get an exclusive negotiating period with Reyes, who becomes a free agent at the end of the year. Still, I'd give up Wheeler to get a worst-case-scenario Reyes rental for the rest of the year. But that's just me. AND EVERY OTHER GIANTS FAN. Reyes, for his part, had to be aware of the rumors, and just to taunt the Giants, he reached base in all six plate appearances last night, going 3-for-3 with 3 walks, a stolen base and some RsBI.

Aubrey Huff snapped a nifty 0-for-20 slump with a huge bomb to right field to lead off the top of the tenth. Thanks to a relatively stress-free bottom of the tenth for Brian Wilson (he went to a full count with only three of the four batters he faced), the Giants had this one in the bag. Simple!

Lincecum is on the hill today, so tune in. Always a potential for something special on Lincecum Day.

JEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESUS

woof

That was one of the ugliest, craziest games I have EVER seen. Giants defense allowed 9 walks, 3 hit batsmen, and an error...and two hits. Giants offense got 8 hits, was 1-for-9 with runners in scoring position, and got their runs on a solo homer by Eli Whiteside and a pinch-hit bases-loaded walk by Aubrey Huff.

The Giants were doubled off on second base on a 1-4 putout. Yeah, I don't know how to describe it. Brian Wilson recorded a save while giving up two walks and a HBP. Seriously, if you can find a way to watch this game, I recommend doing so. Especially if you're not invested in either the Giants or Nationals. Then you can be free to just laugh and laugh. Jonathan Sanchez and Brian Wilson were effectively wild, but check out that ump's strike zone above. Just ludicrous.

The Giants hottest hitters right now are Aaron Rowand, Eli Whiteside, and Mike Fontenot. Posey snapped his slump today and picked up two hits. You know who's not hitting well right now? Mike Tejada.

Oh, and Pablo Sandoval joins Andres Torres, Barry Zito, and Mark DeRosa on the DL with a broken bone in his right hand. Not...not good. Still, the Giants have managed to win three out of five games on this road trip thus far, so one can only imagine what this team is capable of when they have an offense.

Aaron Rowand Drives in Three Runs, Steals Home, Summons Plague of Locusts

Obviously one of my favorite things to do here is vent my frustrations at the Giants' vexing center fielder, Aaron Rowand. But today, as the Allegheny River burst into flame and the sky began to bleed, he was the hero, picking up three RsBI, snapping the Giants' 0-for-17 with RISP for the series, and stealing home on a double-steal when the spectacularly-bearded Josh Doumit winged the ball into center field.

There were two other heroes in today's game. One of them was Ryan Vogelsong, returning to the Giants, who drafted him in 2000, pitching against the Pirates, to whom he was traded lo those many years ago for erstwhile ace Jason Schmidt, and making his first major-league start in eight years, filling in for the injured Barry Zito. Vogelsong had one problem inning, gave up a pair of runs to the Bucs, and needed a hundred pitches through five and two-thirds, but he also struck out eight, matching his career-high, and outpacing Zito's season total to date. He looked good tossing to backup backstop Eli Whiteside, so god only knows what kind of game he could throw when Buster Posey is completing the battery.

The other hero for the Giants was the Pirates' defense. Lordy, did they look terrible. four errors on the day, two by Lyle (clank) Overbay (clank clank). It's nice to see someone OPPOSITE the Giants Brooks Conrad-ing it up this season.

Other news: Mark DeRosa's wrist is still made of spun sugar and delicate wishes. He's back on the DL and Emmanuel Burriss is up from Fresno. Burriss was really raking it in AAA, but didn't look very impressive today, getting a gift infield single and booting a ball. The thing that really makes this bad news is that although backup shortstop Mike Fontenot had his first two hits off a right-handed pitcher this season, Mike Tejada got a meaningless pinch-hit single, which probably proves to Bruce Bochy that he's a gritty veteran gamer with true gamey grit back in his swing, and will start every game for the next three weeks.

The Giants head to our nation's capital, where they will all be asked to present their birth certificates. TOPICAL HUMOR~

Buckle Up

The Giants managed to avoid sweeping the Diamondbacks yesterday, thanks to Michael Tejada and others. Thankfully, they looked real good taking two of three in the desert. Aubrey Huff got his first home run of the year out of the way, and Posey and Kung Fu Panda are looking amazing. Sandoval is, at-bat by at-bat, erasing the horrid memory of his performance last season. The defense is looking less clanktastic with every outing, with the exception of the aforementioned Tejada. The hottest hitter on the Giants is -- you guessed it -- Aaron "Frank Stallone" Rowand.

The bad news is that this afternoon, the Giants open a series in Colorado. Historically, whenever the Giants visit Bland Humidor Stadium, the Rockies take turns eating the Giants' lunch and cleaning the Giants' clocks in a brisk, workmanlike fashion. Troy Tulowitzki will hit a minimum six home runs over the next three games. That's carved in stone.

The other bad news is the Giants 6-7-8 hitters. Burrell is hitting .190 with 8 hits, 4 HR and 4 RBI (yep). Brandon Belt has entrenched himself at the Mendoza line, and unless he explodes out of it in the next few days, he's the only player it makes sense to send down when Cody Ross returns. And then there's the six million dollar man, Mike Tejader.

Meanwhile, back at the "the Giants don't have a backup starter if one of their rotation gets injured," Barry Zito injured himself. After throwing two innings of exceedingly Barry Zito pitching, Zito dove ("collapsed" would be a better descriptor) for a bunted pop-up and his foot exploded. The upside is that the Giants bullpen has been playing out-of-their-minds good lately, notably Guillermo Mota, Sergio Romo, and Ramon Ramirez. (Not Jeremy Affeldt.) The Giants bought the contract of prodigal son Ryan Vogelsong, who had been overachieving in Fresno thus far this season. Best-case scenario: Dr. Sam Beckett has leaped into Vogelsong's body and can't leap again until the Giants release Zito and/or win the World Series again. Worst-case scenario: it can't possibly be worse than last year's Wellemeyer experiment.

Tim Lincecum is pitching today. Cause for hope and joy in the most fearful and jaded of men. Please also note that last year in Colorado, he suggested the Rockies were trying to slip him a juiced ball. Will there be a fight? Who knows! Let's play some home run derby!

- Bill

A Great Day to be a Giants Fan

You'd think, three and a half seasons in, I'd be used to seeing Tim Lincecum making the entire National League look like the merest of chumps. Nope. It's still amazing. He tossed an awe-inspiring gem today that was up there with the best I've ever seen from him. Seven innings, three hits, one earned run, a walk, and thirteen strikeouts. His next ten-strikeout game will tie him with no less a pitching authority than Christy Mathewson for most such games in franchise history.

Meanwhile, the rest of the Giants looked just fine on defense for the second time this season, which is comforting considering they were playing in cavernous Petco Park. Huff, Posey, and Sandoval picked up a combined 9 hits and 7 RsBI. Brandon "The Golden Child" Belt snapped a minor slump and picked up his third and fourth major league hits. The bullpen could use some work, but for one glorious day, the Giants looked like world champs and then some.

Note: The San Francisco Giants are the reigning World Series Champions.