Giants Don't Get No-Hit, Lose 7-5

Ump: "Hey, maybe you should learn to win, asshole."

The Giants have a terrible call go against them, Matt Cain gives up his first home run in 80+ innings, and after that, it's academic.

For the first five innings or so, it looked like the Giants were going to get no-hit at home against the noxious Mat Latos, so it's a great thing that didn't happen. The whole first half of this game was one of the Giants' patented "find new ways to lose/squander every available opportunity" games. Aaron Rowand grounding out to kill a bases-loaded situation where Latos had just walked three Giants in a row. Three massive, ridiculous Giants errors. Aaron Rowand hitting an infield popup with a runner on third and one out, which would have brought the Giants within one run. The Giants wasting leadoff runner chances. Going 0-for-10 with runners in scoring position. Aaron Rowand swinging at pitches that bounce in the other batter's box. Hmmm...I'm seeing a common theme here.

Oh yeah: Aaron Rowand started against a right-hander because Nate Schierholtz is injured. Yep. Also, Carlos Beltran was activated today, but didn't start, because he can probably only bat left-handed and refuses to bat righty-on-righty. Beltran did show up for a pinch-hit appearance with a couple of runners on, and promptly popped up to the infield.

Late in the game, the Giants scratched and clawed to tie it up, which is the most that they've looked like the first-half Giants since...well...the first half. Ramon Ramirez promptly coughed up a double, a nearly-disastrous sac bunt, a single, a wild pitch, and another single to lose the lead and the game in the top of the ninth. But the Giants were out of this game in the top of the first inning when they fell behind 1-0 and everyone in the park knew it but them. It's heartening to see that they didn't just roll over. Maybe if they hadn't had those three errors! Maybe if that blown call hadn't gone in favor of the Padres! Maybe if Miguel Tejada's pinch-hit liner in the eighth hadn't been right at the third baseman's glove! Maybe if Aaron Rowand wasn't completely worthless! Sometimes it's just bad luck I guess. It's really hard to tell when the Giants are a hard-luck team, or just a bad team. Pretty much indistinguishable at this point. The rallying cry from the Giants community is "They're bad, but they're not THIS bad." That's...that's not a good rallying cry.

The Giants fell to two games back today, because the Diamondbacks were able to snap their losing skid against an inferior team. Say, that sounds like something that the Giants should try! Whoops!

Corpse of Giants Roster Shows Signs of Unnatural Life

Bruce Bochy will never be able to feel another emotion.

The Giants lost 2-1 in 11 innings. Great, who cares, whatever. Jonathan Sanchez was starting a game the day after a soul-crushing loss and Beltran and Romo were headed to the DL. A loss was academic tonight.

The real meat of today's story is that the lineup was released and everyone was like LOLWUT because Sandoval was at 1B and Huff was in LF and Belt was in RF and an adorable kitten was Pitcher's Helper. (FanGraphs indicates the adorable kitten is leading the majors in mewling, but Shane Victorino is close behind.) The stories started tumbling hard and fast out of Atlanta: Keppinger out, getting an MRI on his wrist; Schierholtz out, possible broken foot; Rowand out, strained intercostal. The Giants must have gotten off a plane that later crashed during last year's playoffs, because 2011 has been a string of calamities bordering on the Lovecraftian.

In the third inning, Jonathan Sanchez sprained his ankle fielding a bunt, because OF COURSE HE DID. Everyone in the ballpark started watching for bolts of lightning or dangling safes or frayed electrical cords left perilously close to puddles of water. The Giants were no-hit through six innings by a guy major his second MLB start. No one expected anything different.

But something strange happened. The Giants showed immense gumption, much more than anyone could have expected. After Sanchez gave up a run, the Giants pitching staff and defense shut the Braves down inning after inning after inning. Cody Ross blasted a huge home run to prevent the no-hitter and the shutout. The Giants made the Braves' bullpen work. They got as many hits as the Braves, but couldn't quite manage the big one. Both Brandon Belt and Aubrey Huff made game-saving plays in the outfield. It was fun. It was more competitive and exciting than it had any right to be, and Brooks Conrad got to be the hero with a ground-rule double and the winning run in a bit of poetic justice.

If I'm the Giants, I have to believe they're pleased with themselves even in a loss. They won't just roll over and die, even when their roster is reduced to Aubrey Huff and a whimsical tea cozy. However, having said that, the Phillies let Lyle "DFA'd From the Pirates" Overbay drive in all three Diamondbacks runs against Roy Halladay and lost at home, putting the Giants 3.5 games out. But fiddle-dee-dee, tomorrow is another day. I'm certain that tomorrow will bring more injuries, and I'm equally as certain that Aubrey Huff will be the only member of the Giants roster to not sniff the DL this season. Sabean will have deals in place for Posada, Damon, and Alfonso Soriano by the weekend.

It's really amazing that the Giants have done as much as they have after all that has happened to them this season. If they somehow, somehow manage to make it to the playoffs...that's nothing short of miraculous. It's important to remember that the G-Men should probably have a W-L record more closely resembling the Mariners or Astros than being within spitting distance of first place. This was the best possible loss today. That's something, at least.

Brandon Motherfucking Belt: Giants Win, 5-3

This is the power I wield: not one hour after bemoaning the fate of Brandon Belt, the Giants call him up, and started him at first base, due to a "tight back" for Aubrey Huff. What does Belt do? Oh, just gets the Giants on the board with a sweet home run onto the arcade in his first at-bat, and rips a sensational two-out, two-run double down the opposite line (off a lefty) to put the Giants on top for good. Brandon Belt, god damn it.

Madison Bumgarner didn't get Sadison Bumgarnered for once, as the Giants score more than three runs for him at home for the first time this year. Even Brandon Crawford had a hit and two walks. Oh also, the Giants placed Miguel Tejada on the DL and traded some minor league C-level arms for the Astros' Jeff Keppinger, a league-average utility guy/middle infielder, which immediately gives the Giants an upgraded position. Nate Schierholtz had his first bad game in two weeks but still had a couple solid at-bats and a hit, so between him, Belt, and Sandoval, that's three more hitters than the Giants had a month ago. Get a for-real league-average catcher in there, and ALL BETS ARE OFF.

This was a good game. Giants try to avoid the sweep tomorrow on a getaway day against Clayton Kershaw. The snakes got mauled by the Brewers in the desert. Let's do this.

I Only Missed the Ten Uneventful Innings; Giants Win 6-2 in 12.

Aubrey Huff did something awesome [citation needed]

When the Giants loaded the bases with nobody out in the top of the twelfth, I wondered how they were going to screw this up. When Michael Tejada was announced as a pinch hitter, I thought I had my answer. Sure enough, Tejada popped up in foul territory on the first pitch, then Andres Torres struck out. I thought man, that's it. The Giants aren't scoring here and the Padres will hit a few bloop singles in the bottom of this inning and walk it off. BUT NO. Fightin' Mike Fontenot drew a four-pitch walk for the go-ahead run, and Sandoval and Schierholtz tacked on four insurance runs for the hell of it.

The Giants still tried to give it away, though. The Padres loaded the bases in the bottom of the inning, and Wilson had to come in with the bases loaded and one out and only gave up one run (charged to Javier Lopez), which I think counts as Wilson's second-least-stressful save this season. Least stressful overall if the All-Star Game doesn't count.

So three and a half games in first place, and I'm rooting for the Dodgers to sweep the Diamondbacks this weekend. I'll be attending the game tomorrow, along with 25,000 other Giants fans in San Diego (weep for the 8,000-10,000 Padres fans in attendance). During last night's game, I realized what the best thing is about playing the Andrian Gonzalez-less Padres at Petco: the game almost certainly won't be won on a walk-off home run.

Giants Somehow Take Two of Three From Scott Hairston

All-Star. Fuck the naysayers.

I was actually in Northern California for this series, and attended Saturday night's game. It was one of the best baseball experiences of my life, and luckily the Giants won. I got to experience the catharsis of Sergio Romo striking out Giants-killer Scott Hairston on three brutal sliders, less than 24 hours after he destroyed the G-Men for the one hundred and seventh time in his career.

So we have a team that has been more than decimated by injuries to key players. A team whose offense is tied together by a legit All-Star and a suddenly-living-up-to-expectations Nate Schierholtz. The downside is that they are surrounded by a bunch of creaky old timers having career-worst seasons offensively, a couple of banjo-swinging youngsters, and Aaron Rowand. I imagine this is what the first draft of Bochy's lineup card looks like every day:

1- Whoever can walk and then get picked off first

2- Out

3- Sandoval

4- Out

5- Out

6- Schierholtz

7- Out

8- Out

9- Pitcher???? (Ask Righetti)

Still though, besides Wilson (more guts than stuff), the Giants pitching, particularly their bullpen, is out of this world. The Giants win on smoke and mirrors most nights, and especially at home they refuse to give up, and inexplicably -- honestly, I have no idea how this happened -- the Giants have the fifth-best record in baseball, and are entering the All-Star Break three games ahead of the Diamondbacks in the NL West. If they can even get a halfway-warm bat or two by the tradeline, and if Huff continues to completely Aubrey it up at the plate and Bochy can wrap his head around giving Belt some starts, it may end up being another great season. Amazing.

So why am I so worried?

- Bill

Giants Win Game of the Year 6-5 in 14 Innings

Nailed it.

This started off as a terrible game. Really, just abysmal. Stranded leadoff runners by the bucketful. Giants swinging and missing at balls bowled slowly underhand across home plate. Everyone not named "Andres Torres" or "Pablo Sandoval" looking like they were swinging a rolled-up wet carpet. Madison Bumgarner giving up five runs. I noted on Twitter that this was a real stinky butthole of a game and a pretty lousy-looking team (in so many words).

These days, it seems like if you want to have your team look like just the best team around, you should play the Giants. The Padres, for seven or nine innings there, looked like they were the Bronx Bombers crossed with the Big Red Machine and huffing Swingin' A's fumes. Driving balls to the gaps, stealing a million bases, striking out the side on one pitch. Nate Schierholtz launched a mammoth home run off of the right field foul pole in the middle innings to bring the Giants within one run, but then the Padres scored again. Two runs? Insurmountable.

But in the eighth inning, Pablo Sandoval crushed a bomb to Triples Alley that he thought was gone. He only ended up with a game-tying double, but it was enough at the time. The Giants bullpen nodded and said, "We got this." Sandoval made just the best possible play to end the top of the ninth inning with a man on third, and the bullpen was off to the races, retiring the last 17 batters they faced. Giants pitchers ended the night with 19 strikeouts and one walk. Think about that for a second. I'll wait.

The Padres and Giants spent the last five innings trying to out-not-score one another, but only the Giants were getting men on base. The bottom of the fourteenth opened with the Padres inserting a pitcher named Pat Neshek, whose delivery can best be described as "oh my god what am i looking at." He hurked and jerked and threw a ball to Nate Schierholtz, then got a swinging strike, then a foul. Just as I was thinking, "Man, wouldn't it be awesome if..." Neshek spasmed and frothed and threw a ball out over the middle of the plate, and Nate Schierholtz hit just the highest fly ball I've ever seen. The Padres right fielder drifted back slowly and settled under it against the wall and... PANGGGG... it bounced off the tin roof top of the wall and into the cove. Juggernate's first two-homer game, and the Giants had their tenth walk-off win of the season.

A lousy game that was a must-win for the Giants became one of the best games I've seen this season. The Giants had this game in the bag multiple times and couldn't put it away. The offense needs at least one bat. The return of Mike Fontenot will be a cause for celebration. Yeesh. But this was a big, big win. What a game.

Giants Hate America, Lose to Padres 5-3

Okay, so now we need TWO hitters.

It should have been closer. Wasted opportunities. It could have been the Giants' tenth walk-off win of the season. Wasted opportunities wrapped inside a thin layer of squandered chances and served atop a bed of regrets.

This was only the third game of the season against the San Diego Banes of my GD Existence. Thanks to the unbalanced schedule, fully 20% of the remaining games are against the Padres. That is not hyperbole. Look it up. One in every five games from here on out is the worst two offenses in the National League trying to out-not-hit one another. The second half of the season is not going to be fun.

No trades forthcoming. The only combo-breaker in the Giants lineup of guaranteed outs is Pablo Sandoval, who is having a historic baseball-mauling streak that is being squandered on the rest of these mandolin-hitting suckbats. 13-game hitting streak, but 9-game extra-base hit streak, which equals the San Francisco team record. He's really brutalizing the ball to all fields and being the bounceback thinner Panda we all hoped he'd be at the beginning of the year. Now he just needs to hope some of that magic pixie dust wears off on Huff, Torres, Ross, and everyone else in the lineup. Tejada and Schierholtz are probably the two hitters in the lineup who aren't swinging at pickoff throws to first. And that is TERRIFYING.

Bochy Leaves Cain in Too Long, Giants Win Unnecessarily Stressful Game, 6-5

yeeeeeeeee

Well, the Giants were ahead 5-0 for most of that game, then 5-1, but in the seventh inning Bochy was like, "Hmm, Cain has thrown over 100 pitches and is visibly struggling with his command. He barely survived the sixth inning with every D'Backs hitter crushing the ball against him. Let's see how this plays out!"

Other than the shaky pitching, the Giants offense looked really solid for a change. Cody Ross has two doubles, 2RBI, 2 runs, a stolen base (stole home as part of a double steal) and a walk. Aubrey Huff had a hit and two walks. Nate Schierholtz hit a bit insurance RBI triple after being 0-for-3 to that point. Perhaps most importantly, Pablo Sandoval looked good, stroking an RBI single in his first at-bat and working an amazing 10-pitch walk which may have been the best Giants at-bat of the season to date. Even Eli Whiteside reached base twice!

So what could have been the Giants' easiest win this season instead became a gut-wrenching marathon. Since I'm leaving for vacation and my Baseball Feelings may be few and far between for the next ten days, it was a very Giants-like send-off.

- Bill

Giants Play Legitimate Baseball Game, Beat Reds 4-2

He's a good leadoff hitter, but the real money is in his hambone solos.

Early on, it looked like the same old, ridiculous Giants. Leadoff walk gets thrown out on a stupid steal attempt, a swing and miss on a hit-and-run, and Jonathan Sanchez walking batters who clearly couldn't even tell where the ball was going. But they turned it around and played a for-real baseball game. Huff got some hits and a couple of RBI. Schierholtz stayed in the game against a lefty and immediately lofted a sac fly for the go-ahead run. The defense was amazingly great behind a shaky Sanchez (pretty much the only guy who shows up these days). The Giants worked counts, the Reds made mistakes, and the good guys walked away with the win after outplaying Dusty Baker's lineup of mashers. Javier Lopez made Joey Votto and Jay Bruce look like they'd never held a bat before. It's a good win.

Pablo Sandoval comes back tomorrow as the Giants open a series in Arizona against the second-place Diamondbacks. A huge series. The Giants need some bats, and fast. Chris Stewart got the start at catcher yesterday and got a double, drew a walk, and gunned down a guy trying to steal second base. These are things that Eli Whiteside basically can't do. Stewart may have even blocked a pitch in the dirt at one point! Still, they need a for-real catcher. With Sandoval back and Fontenot coming back soon, it will be an interesting couple of weeks to see how Huff and the newly-arrived Bill Hall continue to perform. It will be July 31 soon, and the Giants will likely need a lot more help a lot sooner. It's scary, but it probably won't be dull.

- Bill

Courtesy of JCT from McCovey Chronicles: JUGGERNATE

Juggernate from JCT on Vimeo.

You may want to skip the "video game" intro, but here's nearly five minutes of Nate Schierholtz gunning down fools from right field and getting clutch hits like a maniac.

Baseball...is awesome.

Giants Win 7-5 in Improbable Fashion in 11 Innings

So graceful, so lithe.

Bat Tejada second, bat Huff fourth. Sure. Do whatever. Leave Lincecum in too long. Whatever. The Giants took their worst-looking lineup of the year into the belly of the shingles-riddled LaRussa beast and overcame two separate, insurmountable leads.

Eli Whiteside can't hang on to a pair of swinging third strikes or throw out a runner on a steal attempt. People were getting on base like gangbusters tonight, but there was Tejada, grounding to second base three times in a row. There was Huff, grounding to first three times in a row. Huff hit a tater that put the Giants on top for about ten seconds -- he'll probably be moved to the three-hole tomorrow -- but then Lincecum served up a two-run dinger and that looked like the ballgame.

And then, seemingly for the first time this season, Bochy used his bullpen correctly. Even more shocking, Nate Schierholtz knocked in the tying run in the top of the ninth. The bullpen held fast and shut down the heart of the St. Louis lineup. Nate Schierholtz knocked in the go-ahead run and then Brandon "Stamos" Crawford brought him home with a key insurance run in the eleventh. LaRussa tried his ultimate gambit -- turning off the lights of the stadium with a man on and two out in the bottom of the eleventh inning -- but Wilson calmly walked to the dugout and waited about fifteen minutes while the lights came back on, then threw one pitch to induce grounder and end the game.

This sure looked like nothing doing after the Cardinals took a 5-4 lead. Burrell had popped out in his pinch-hit appearance. Manny Burriss had taken over for Huff and was batting cleanup. I tried to think of who in the lineup could possibly crank one out, and all I could come up with was "Cody Ross." It never occurred to me that this craptackle band of no-bats would string together a bunch of clutch hits.

Huff was 1-for-4 tonight. Freddy Sanchez and Nate Schierholtz had three hits. Cody Ross had four. The number two hitter, Michael Tejada, was 0-for-6. If Brandon Crawford keeps being awesome, there's no way he doesn't take TJ's job once the Kung Fu Panda returns. Then again...Bruce Bochy.

The Giants attempt to win the series and finish the road trip on a happy note tomorrow. Pray for justice.

Giants Basically Quit Trying, Lose 5-1

This game had everything you'd expect from Bad 2011 Giants: baserunning gaffes, first-pitch outs, Aubrey Huff killing four rallies, leadoff doubles getting stranded, starting pitchers getting flustered, terrible umpiring calls, Michael Tejada celebrating doing something useless, Aaron Rowand coming in to pinch-hit and taking two strikes before swinging and missing at a slider low and away, Pat Burrell getting a key pinch-hit walk while starter Nate Schierholtz goes 0-for-4, opposing pitchers getting multiple single-digit pitch count innings, and Mike Krukow saying "That's a rough at-bat" after yet another Giants batter has a three-pitch strikeout.

The only surprising thing about this game was that the Giants got Ricky Nolasco over 100 pitches. The final score of this game really should have been 2-1. Matt Cain was the victim of literally the worst strike-calling I've ever seen in the fourth inning, no less than three times on two different batters getting an inning-ending strike three called a ball, leading to two consecutive walks, which let the Marlins extend the inning for a three-run double. It was a fiasco behind the plate all night. A pitch would be a strike, and literally the next pitch in the exact same location would be called a ball, or vice versa. The bad news is that Joe West is also on this umpiring crew.

Aubrey Huff should not be playing games right now, let alone batting third in the lineup. His WAR is the second-worst in the NL according to baseball-reference.com and he can't hit a lick. He's truly turning in a sub-Tejada performance, and it's not even close. The Giants need to call up Brandon Belt soon. A year ago I wouldn't imagine they'd dream of benching Huff, but they've done it with Rowand and cut Molina loose to make room for Posey, so it's a possibility. Two pieces of good news for today: Pablo Sandoval will probably be back ahead of schedule, and the Rockies lost their best pitcher. I'm not celebrating De La Rosa getting hurt by any means, but if the already-flustered Rockies get even more hopeless, I'm all for it.

Tonight was a demoralizing, frustrating loss. (Is there any other kind?) My prediction is a Marlins sweep, but I'll be happy to be proved wrong. It's early in the season, but this offense needs to make SOMETHING happen or we're all doomed.

Two Walk-Off Wins Sandwich Amazing Lincecum Performance, Giants Sweep A's

THIS RULED

Well, that was a hell of a series. The Giants now have seven walk-off wins this season (it is May), and Tim Lincecum is on pace for one million instances of being completely righteous. The Giants have swept three straight series in San Francisco, and are three and a half games in first, thanks to a concurrent sweep of the Rockies by the Brewers. Everyone on the Dodgers is having body parts fall off of or out of them at an alarming rate, and the Padres and Diamondbacks.

Lincecum threw a complete-game three-hit shutout, striking out only six (unusual for him), and hitting 96 and 95 MPH on his last two strikeouts in the ninth, the latter on his 133rd pitch of the game. This dude is every bit as amazing as your typical Halladay or Lee or what have you, and it bears repeating.

Everyone seemed to have a key hit this series, but usually late in the games. It is starting to look like the Giants intentionally save their one or two hits with RISP for a dramatic walk-off. Even sub-Tejada-performing Aubrey Huff had a walk-off single this weekend, for crying out loud.

Pound it, bro. I'm gonna call you Buster Brosey. That cool? Shut up, rook.

The three best at-bats of the home stand were two insanely important singles by Manny Burriss and a monster splash hit by Nate Schierholtz. This is starting to be an exciting team to watch. The only thing that really rankles is Bruce Bochy's head-scratching bullpen management. Although, after YET ANOTHER Jeremy Affeldt meltdown/lead loss today, juxtaposed with two insanely key shutdown innings by Sergio Romo, perhaps the winds of change are blowing.

Wilson Struggles in Vain to Blow Save; Giants Win, 3-1

See, the bat is a metaphor for the Giants bullpen

Well, Madison Bumgarner threw a hell of a game tonight, and Bruce Bochy once again allowed his starter to go out to pitch the eighth inning with a ~100 pitch count. That sound you heard around 9:15 tonight was a million Giants fans holding onto their butts.

Luckily, he had a short shutdown eighth inning. The criminally underutilized Sergio Romo began warming up in the bullpen during the eighth. You know, because Brian Wilson possibly injured himself last night. And then, Bumgarner came out to pitch the ninth inning, with the Giants ahead 3-0 and Bumgarner going not only for his first win this season, but for his first complete-game shutout.

Bumgarner got the first two hitters in the bottom of the ninth, but then Rod Barrajas hit a Texas-leaguer into right field, and Jerry Sands drove him in with a deep double. So with two out and one on, Bochy brought in Brian Wilson for the one-out save. Easy stuff, right?

Wilson walked Jay Gibbons (who?) on five pitches. He then walked James Loney on five pitches. The bases are now loaded and Wilson has only thrown two strikes. Luckily, on the fifth pitch of Jamey Carroll's at-bat, he hit a liner that Nate Schierholtz had to transcend space and time and merge with the Speed Force in order to catch and end the game. No big D.

It was nerve-wracking and insane and it never needed to be. The Giants had seven hits, four walks, and 2 HBP and only scored three runs. They were 3-for-13 with RISP and left 10 on base. Aubrey Huff had another 0-fer and continues to look completely lost and bat third. I think it's time to revisit Operation: Bat Mike Fontenot Third.

Still, the Giants complete the two-game sweep of the Dodgers, remain in first place, and finish the road trip 3-3. Could/should have been much, MUCH worse. Hopefully they don't get completely annihilated by the A's this weekend (spoiler: they will). The two most frustrating wins of the year.

Giants Snatch Defeat From Jaws of Completely Blowing it, Sweep D-Backs 3-2

Nate Schierholtz, everybody

The Giants swept their home stand, going 6-0 and taking sole possession of first place in the NL West. They didn't win more than five games in a row all last year. Their current run of winning games without any offense is totally unsustainable, but I'm going to enjoy it while it lasts. Well, not "enjoy," but "begrudgingly accept." Most of these games are no treat to watch.

Giants pitchers with three wins: Tim Lincecum, Matt Cain, Jonathan Sanchez, Brian Wilson. Giants pitchers that are 0-5: Madison Bumgarner.

The Giants got a lot of help from bit players yesterday: Eli Whiteside had a couple of doubles and Nate Schierholz had a three-hit day and the spectacular play you see above. Want to guess how Michael Tejada did? Go ahead, guess. According to Bay City Ball, Tejada isn't the worst Giants shortstop ever, so good for him!

Giants start another road trip in a couple of hours, opening a series at Wrigley today before a pair of two-game series against the Dodgers and Rockies. Short, but important road trip. Really, really hoping the bats wake up at some point in the next few days. There could be dire consequences otherwise.

Giants who are hitting, as of 5/13/11: Andres Torres, Nate Schierholz, Eli Whiteside, Cody Ross (kinda)

Giants who aren't hitting, as of 5/13/11: Freddy Sanchez, Aubrey Huff, Buster Posey, Mike Fontenot, Mark DeRosa, Tejada

Giants who are hitting, but not playing: Pat Burrell

Giants Do It For Willie, Beat Rockies 4-3

PUMPED

On Willie Mays' 80th birthday, on the day that was declared Willie Mays Day by the mayor of San Francisco, on the day where the Giants are playing their 11th game in a row after a flight from New York last night with the team mired in a hellacious slump on all fronts...there was a stunning, come-from-behind storybook evening. A game that was won on deep at-bats, clutch hits in late innings, sparkling defense, and unlikely heroes. It was...perfect. Eventually, anyway.

Matt Cain pitched 7 strong but gave up three runs to the Rockies, including giving up Troy Tulowitzki's 100th career tater. Unfortunately, the Giants looked as pathetic as ever on offense, going without a hit against Ubaldo Jiminez through the first four innings.

That doesn't really tell the whole story, however. The Giants had really fantastic at-bats all evening. They got Jiminez up to the 100 pitch mark in no time, made him throw a 20+ pitch first inning -- something the Giants never, EVER do -- took a ton of walks even before they got a hit, and just looked unlucky, getting the living daylights BABIP'd out of them. They were blistering pitches, just right at people. Rockies fielders waved their gloves blindly at seeing-eye grounders, which would seeing-eye right into the webbing. The breaks that Giants usually have go against them kept going against them.

BUT THEN in the sixth inning, Operation: Bat Mike Fontenot Third paid off yet again, with the hammerin' Hobbit getting a leadoff triple, then coming home to get the Giants on the board on Posey's fielder's choice. Huff struck out and Pat Burrell picked up his third walk of the night. with two on and two out, Nate Schierholz grounded out. Fontenot also contributed with an AMAZING defensive play in the top of the seventh inning. Mike Tejada had a leadoff single in the bottom of the seventh inning, but karma kicked in and he was left stranded as the Giants got three straight outs.

BUT THEN in the bottom of the eighth, Fontenot flied out, Posey got a big opposite-field single (a "Posey Special"), and Aubrey Huff struck out. With two outs, Pat Burrell had a grinder of an at-bat, then belted a double to Triples Alley (irony!), and a cannon-armed toss held up Posey at third. Darren "Vroom" Ford came in to run for Burrell and here was Nate Schierholz again, batting with two on and two out. He had yet another great at-bat, and doubled down the left-field line and plated both runs, tying the game.

Brian Wilson came in to pitch the top of the ninth, looking like Saturn about to eat his kid's heads. He tossed a seven-pitch inning and then here came the Giants again. Late replacement and slumper supreme Cody Ross led off the bottom of the ninth with a double down the right-field line. Aaron Rowand struck out (on a low slider, shock of shocks), and OTHER supreme slumper Freddy Sanchez came up. With the crowd rocking and rolling and chanting "FREDDY, FREDDY," Sanchez slapped a ball up the middle, just past Tulo's glove and into center field. Ross came roaring around third and scored standing up, one exultant fist held high.

The fireworks went off, Tony Bennett sang, the Giants hopped up and down and whooped and hollered, and I like to think Willie Mays was watching it all with a smile on his face. Earlier today, a thousand sports writers typed tens of thousands of words about what the Say Hey Kid means to baseball, and what he has meant to sports fans and to the world for about the past sixty years. Before the game, Willie shed a few tears as he chatted with his friends and teammates from the Black Barons, and with McCovey and Alou and Gaylord Perry, and listened to glowing words from Jon Miller and Lon Simmons and Tony Bennett and Barack Obama and Bill Clinton and Hank Aaron and Bill Cosby and forty-something thousand fans whose hearts swell with pride knowing that he belongs to them and vice versa, forever. And late tonight, at 24 Willie Mays Plaza, in the most gorgeous ballpark in baseball, a bunch of beat-up and dog-tired slump-stricken ne'er-do-wells -- and defending World Champions, as unlikely as it still seems -- came from behind to beat their hottest division rivals, and bring joy to the hearts of San Francisco fans all over again.

Say Hey! Thanks, Kid.

Giants Avoid Sweep, Fall to Mets 5-2

Babe Fontenot

That was...decidedly less fun.

Once again, the Giants fail to sweep, but end up coming off their ten-game road trip going 5-5, and I'll take it. How they managed to win five games playing as badly as they did for the past two weeks either says a lot about how good the 2011 Giants are, or how bad the 2011 Pirates, Nationals, and Mets are.

Operation: Bat Mike Fontenot Third continues to bear fruit, with Lil' Fontie going 1 for 2 with two walks and a big fly. Huff went hitless again, and the B-squad of Whiteside, Schierholz and Burriss did about what you'd expect. (Nothing.) Cody Ross continues to come up short in big situations, even after shaving and going to long pants. WHAT ELSE CAN HE DO YOU GUYS

The real loser was Jonathan Sanchez, who turned in what, honestly, was probably only his third-most Jonathan Sanchez-esque outing this season, walking the eight and nine hitters with two out before giving up a triple to Jose Reyes, and giving up a rare home run to Carlos Beltran. He continues to be all over the place, walking scores of hitters. To make matters worse, he didn't bother running on a terrible, terrible bunt attempt and bunted into a "lol we've got all day" inning-ending double-play. Bochy openly yelled at him in the dugout after that, and I hope he used his choicest and most insulting cusses. Bochy is scheduled to have a "private meeting" with Sanchez in the next couple days, and I'm going to assume that means taking him out back and giving him a blanket party.

Hank Schulman is under the impression that Mark DeRosa will be getting a chance to replace Mike Tejada at third base. That's fine in theory, as a trained sea elephant and most untrained walruses could turn in the type of performance that Tejada has shown thus far, but Mark DeRosa is essentially Mr. Glass from "Unbreakable." If he lasts a month without going on the DL again I'll be shocked.

The esteemed Mr. Tejada went 0 for 4 yesterday, notably coming up in the top of the ninth with the Giants down three runs, 1 out and the bases loaded. He struck out. It should be noted that he worked the count and did not ground into a double play, so the argument could be made that this is a vast improvement. It should also be noted that the next batter was pinch-hittin' Buster Posey, who grounded out. But it should ALSO also be noted that Tejada stinks and I can't imagine the Giants aren't thinking about cutting their losses and going with Sluggin' Mike Fontenot and whatever else they have once Sandoval returns from having surgery on his hamate bone. (It's the bone Sandoval uses to eat ham, so you know it's got a lot of wear on it.)

What a Lovely Turn of Events

I should write negative BF previews more often. Just hours after posting my fears about the historically unkind bouncy-house known as Coors Field, the Giants went absolutely bonkers. Lincecum took a no-hitter into the seventh inning, while Nate Schierholtz (a notoriously light-hitting leftie whose only home run at the short-porched AT&T Park was an inside-the-parker) launched a ludicrous third-deck shot, one of three Giants taters on the evening. The good guys won by a final of 8-1, Tulowitzki went hitless, and Kung Fu Panda took three walks.

Pat Burrell picked up his fifth home run in nine hits, but his first non-solo homer of the season. It's always a blast watching Burrell launch his moon shots, because he has that humongous, goofy swing. He just goes WHAM, watches the ball only until he's sure it's not hooking foul, then stares at the ground and trots around the bases. He's so ashamed of his flashy displays of dingertry.

Looks like Cody Ross will be activated and Brandon Belt sent down today, which is fine. Let the bears pay the bear tax, I say. Here's hoping the Giants keep it up in "The Buckeye State," Colorado.