Rangers 4, Cardinals 0: OMG Game Five Is Already Underway And I Have Not Yet Shared Feelings RE: Game Four So This Will Have To Be Quick

DEREK HOLLAND'S MUSTACHE EIGHT-AND-A-THIRD MIKE NAPOLI GO WASH I HATE TONY LA RUSSA


KS

Brewers 9, Cardinals 6: That Six-Run Fifth Was Bananas

As hard as baseballs get hit, ever.

Much is rightly made of the Milwaukee crowd. They're crazy loud, for starters, and there are a lot of them, and both of those things are excellent, but what gets me is, who tailgates baseball at all, let alone with the single-minded intensity of Brewers fans? "The grills were smokin'," Bob Uecker reported about yesterday's pregame festivities. I bet! Sausages are the best.


I'll tell you who was not the best, at least not yesterday, was Zack Greinke, who recently denounced Chris Carpenter as "phony," which is pretty cold: six runs on eight hits and couple of walks in six innings is rarely going to get it done. Fortunately for him, though, Ryan Braun hit one out in the first -- Jaime Garcia responded by putting Prince Fielder on his considerable ass, although I can totally buy that it wasn't intentional, given that he was wild that entire inning -- and then the fifth inning was, as I may have already mentioned, bananas. If you haven't seen it, or if you have seen it, but without the accompaniment of Bob Uecker, you really should click here. Our highlight joins the inning already well under way, after a Cory Hart single and a double from Jerry Hairston; you'll see and hear the TBS call of Ryan Braun's ground rule double (what a crazy bounce!). Then you will hear Bob Uecker call Prince Fielder's two-run, Delgado-esque lined shot that leaves the ballpark as quickly as a baseball can do anything at all, really, and what I really love about the clip is not just how worked up Uecker gets, nor how worked up Fielder is as he crosses the plate and plays to the crowd and his teammates; the best part is just after that, when he's walking towards the end of the dugout, nobody else around him, and he's still completely riled up, as though all that other stuff he's done was for show, and now that he's alone he can really let go. Also stay tuned for Ueck's call of Yuniesky Betancourt's two run dinger: "HERE COMES YUNI BEEEEEEEEEE!" You will note that the mighty wallop was struck off of the hangingest breaking ball anyone has ever seen not just from Octavio "Don't Ask" Dotel, but, like, ever, as in ever ever.    


Despite the bananity of all of that, it could very well have been for naught, as Albert Pujols came up with two on and nobody out in the seventh. That he grounded into a classic, around-the-horn 5-4-3 double play to plate a run but end the threat of the big inning, was legitimately surprising to me, as I figured he would have launched one, you know? Since he is arguably the greatest right-handed hitter since Hank Greenberg? But double play ground balls happen, man, they just happen. What can be done? Here's a photograph of Albert Pujols from yesterday that I like -- it's not the double play ball; it's his single in the first, but here it is all the same:

I am all about pictures at the plate where you see the batter, catcher, and umpire all looking in exactly the same direction for a second. I can't say why. Also I am all about yesterday's game, and in this case I can say why: it is because it was so awesome and exciting.


KS

Cardinals 5, Phillies 4: Kind of A Hell of A Game, Actually

yer out

Stake Cliff Lee to a four-run lead early, and you're good to go, right? Apparently not so! The Cardinals put together a three-run fourth that ended with Jon Jay tagged out at the plate, gunned down, as they say, by Raul Ibanez to much bellowing of "Rauuuuuuuuuuuul." Or were they saying "Ruuuuuuuuiz?" As you can infer from the above photograph, it's kind of amazing Carlos held on, really. Jay brought the Cardinals even in the sixth, knocking in Theriot, and then in the seventh Pujols brought in the winning run. Notably, the win went to Octavio "Don't Ask" Dotel, who was repealed in the eighth in favour of Mark Rzepcynski; both of these fine gentlemen, as you will no doubt recall, were until quite recently members of your (which is to say "my") Toronto Blue Jays, and so are of particular interest go me. Good job, fellows! Also, the ESPN Radio broadcast kept talking about how Chris Carpenter was picked up for nothing after the Blue Jays decided to be dumb. That's totally what happened! I remember that vividly!


Also, and in closing, I hate Tony LaRussa, because he is literally the worst.


KS

Man Alive, What an Evening

Wow.

Bruce Bochy fielded his best white-flag team yesterday and the Giants got trounced 6-3 by the Rockies, exactly as expected. But who cares? Yesterday was possibly the most thrilling single day of regular-season baseball in history. Certainly in my lifetime. Four games with final postseason slot implications. The possibility of two separate 163rd games.

The Red Sox and Rays entered the day tied for the AL Wild Card Lead, and the Braves and Cardinals entered the day tied for the NL Wild Card. The Red Sox were in Baltimore, the Rays were hosting the Yankees, the Braves were hosting the Phillies, and the Cardinals were in Houston.

The Red Sox went into a 7th-inning rain delay leading the Orioles 3-2. The Rays fell behind to the Yankees 7-0 going into the 8th inning. The Braves were leading the Phillies 3-2 into the 8th. The lone uneventful game was the Cardinals, as expected, simultaneously mauling and shutting out the Astros (the worst team in baseball).

The Braves coughed up a Phillies tying run around the same time as the Rays put together a 6-run bottom of the eighth. The Cardinals game wrapped, ensuring them at worst a playoff game against the Braves the next day. The Red Sox game resumed and the Sox failed to score an insurance run that was gunned down at home plate. The Braves game headed into extra innings as a Rays .108 pinch-hitter -- who hadn't hit a home run since April -- bounced a line drive off the net of the foul pole with two out and two strikes in the bottom of the ninth inning to knot the score at 7 and send that game into extra innings as well.

The Braves got runners in scoring position for Martin Prado, who offered the worst swing I have ever seen in a pressure situation and ended the inning. The Phillies got a go-ahead run off a Hunter Pence BABIP Special, and the Braves bounced into a double play to give the Cardinals the NL Wild Card.

Back in Baltimore, Carl Crawford was unable to grab what would have been out number three as the Orioles got three consecutive two-out hits off of Jonathan "huck it down the middle" Papelbon, and stunned the Red Sox by winning the game, 4-3.

Three minutes after the Orioles dogpiled one another on their rain-soaked home field, Evan Longoria hit his second home run of the game, a laser beam that just cleared the fence inside the foul pole along the left-field line and clinched the Wild Card for Tampa Bay.

There are moment in baseball -- key moments, indelible moments -- that you know, as you are watching them, that they will be part of baseball lore forever. That you'll be seeing them on replay for the rest of your life. Aaron Boone's 2003 ALCS homer. Kevin Mitchell's barehanded grab. Dave Roberts' stolen base. Kirk Gibson. Bill Buckner. Carlton Fisk. Now we can add Longoria's home run to that elite group. He raced down the first base line, knowing that the ball might not clear the wall, but that he was going to have to try for extra bases if it didn't. Just before he got to the bag at first, both arms shot straight up in the air. The look of elation on his face matched that of the stunned and exultant crowd. His teammates flew out of the dugout as if shot from a cannon, and everyone watching could scarcely manage to come up with a sentiment any more profound than that of, "BASEBALL. OH MAN, BASEBALL."

This is why we watch. Baseball simply does not get any better than this, and no other sport on its best day can ever hope to match moments such as these.

So now we move beyond 2011 and into the postseason. Let us root for the Brewers. Let us root for the Rays. Let us root for the Diamondbacks and the Tigers and the Rangers. Let us root for baseball at its most glorious, at its most profound and affecting. Let us enjoy these next few weeks, for the winter is long and devoid of this glorious game. We will continue to be here talking about the feelings that the postseason and the hot stove and all that malarkey will bring, but baseball is now entering its yearly twilight.

This is going to be one hell of a postseason, my dear friends. Let's all be baseball fans together, for there is surely no greater thing.

Giants Win 8-5 in Sixteen Brisk Hours

Haters gonna hate

That game took forever. There was absolutely no reason that game should have taken that long. The Giants and Dodgers took nearly four hours for a game that wasn't particularly close. The Giants keep winning games against people not named "Clayton Kershaw" and keep the Diamondbacks' magic number at 2. If the Giants win the Dodgers finale today, they will arrive in Arizona tomorrow with the Diamondbacks' magic number still sitting at "2". Which means that either Friday, Saturday, or Sunday, the Giants will be watching the Diamondbacks celebrate clinching the NL West on their home field, in front of like 12,000 people, 8,000 of whom will be Giants fans.

Best-case, and least-likely scenario: The Giants win tonight and sweep the Diamondbacks. That means the Giants will be one game back with three games left to play. That's the best case scenario. The scenario I'm betting on is that the Giants lose their first game against Arizona and that'll be that. Also, that the Diamondbacks eliminate the Giants from the Wild Card race as well. I'm resigned to that. It's cool. August was real, real bad and broke the back of the Giants. It happens more often than anyone wants to admit. Meanwhile, I'm forced to choose between my two least favorite teams in the NL for who I want to win the Wild Card: the Braves or the Cardinals. Yuck.

Whoever wins...we lose.

Tony LaRussa is a Terrible Person

Tony LaRussa signals for the rarely-used "double beanball."

In addition to my beloved Giants, I have been paying close attention to the NL Central race this season. The Reds, favorites to repeat as division champs, have fallen by the wayside, leaving a three-horse race between the lovable Milwaukee Brewers, the scandalous St. Louis "Yankees of the West" Cardinals, and the surprising feel-good story that is the Pittsburgh Pirates.

Although it does not seem as though the Pirates will truly be able to hang in this race, it has become vitally important that Tony "I Have Shingles" LaRussa's Redbirds do not advance to the playoffs. If it can't be the Pirates, I would love for it to be the Brewers that knocks them off their "perch" as it were. (birds) The Brewers and Cardinals went head to head over the past three days in a series that looks to have huge playoff ramifications.

Craig Calcaterra over at Hardball Talk has been breaking down the LaRussa news from the series extremely well, but I'd like to add my two cents on the matter.

To recap: last night's game went to extra innings. At one point, Pujols was up with two on and one out, and he leads the league in hitting into double plays. The Brewers pitcher accidentally plunked him, and LaRussa thought it was intentional. To "retaliate" he had his pitcher plunk Ryan Bruan to lead off the next inning. At a different point, Cards catcher Yadier Molina was called out on a close pitch and charged at the umpire, bumping him and covering him in spittle as he screamed at him in a display that would make any number of Alomars blush. At yet another point, Brewers fans were heckling LaRussa and one of them repeatedly yelled "I hope you get shingles again," which is hilarious but Tony felt it was over the line. As a show of gamesmanship, after the Cardinals won the extra-innings affair, LaRussa took the time to yell at and insult the fans behind the Cardinals dugout. What a leader!

Tony LaRussa has been labeled a "genius" by most baseball journalists. He's a "genius" in the sense that Phil Jackson is a "genius," which is to say that he's been fortunate enough to be the manager of teams with deep pockets, an embarrassment of talent, and well-stocked medicine cabinets. He piloted the juiced-to-the-gills Canseco/McGwire A's to three World Series in a row (and one title), then jumped to St. Louis, where the even-more-juiced McGwire revitalized baseball by having enormous forearms. He hung around until the Cardinals brought in a gigantic crop of mashers, and let the do-you-seriously-believe-he-isn't-on-the-gas Albert Pujols lead them to another couple World Series and another title.*

I'm not saying just anyone can have a pitcher bat in the eight-hole and let their chemical freaks pound on small-market teams, but LaRussa has a particular knack for it. He also has a knack for looking like a sore loser and taking himself too seriously at all times, even during victories.

Compounding the LaRussa problem is the fact that St. Louis fans have a reputati0n as being "the best fans in baseball" and have really let it go to their heads. Since about 2005, the Cardinals have slowly become the least likable team in baseball this side of the Yankess (and/or, depending on which side your bread is buttered, the Red Sox or Phillies). Even the contemptible Braves have a handful of people that are fun or worthy of rooting for. The Cardinals win with such a false veneer of "heh, had it all the way" that should only ever be present in the Bronx, and whine and cry whenever anything should dare not go their way. They even ran Colby Rasmus out of town on a rail when he (and his dad, to be fair) took umbrage with LaRussa or Cards brass, depending on which story your listening to.

But enough of me and my sour grapes. If the Diamondbacks sent a message in their "statement series" against the Giants, the Brewers unfurled a banner reading "HOW MY ASS TASTE" in twenty-foot-high letters and hoisted it above Miller Field this weekend. They lost a close game two, but came out swinging today, with Casey McGehee knocking three dingers and sent the Cards home in a huff. It was really, really awesome.

Lest I fail to mention it: not only did St. Louis send Rasmus packing before the trade deadline, but their big pickup was the .191-batting Rafael Furcal. That'll put butts in seats. You don't win titles with Furcals, QED.

* For the record, I don't think there's anything wrong with PEDs, and I don't think they should be illegal, and I certainly don't think any athlete should be vilified for using them. If you think there's any professional athlete out there who isn't using SOMETHING, you're nuts. The only thing that rankles me is that Pujols has this squeaky-clean rep and is supposedly universally beloved, but the dude strikes me as twice the asshole Bonds ever was. Anyway, juice away, dudes. Chicks love the longball.

Aubrey Huff, Giants Brutalize Rookie Pitchers, Win 12-7

I want you to draw me like one of your French girls.

Well I'll be damned. The Giants got no-hit for three innings by call-up Lance Lynn while the Cardinals scored three runs and Jonathan Sanchez was turning in one of his Jonathan Sanchez-iest performances to date. But then Michael Tejada took a pitch off his helmet, and Aubrey Huff launched a bomb into the Cardinals bullpen to break the no-hitter and bring the Giants within a run.

Then...it got a little silly.

Jonathan Sanchez hit his fourth double of the year, Torres brought him home, Tejada ran the bases like some kind of savant, Huff blooped a single, and the Giants were ahead, 5-3. The next inning, LaRussa brought in another call-up. Eli Whiteside and Pat Burrell led off the inning with walks, Torres hit a double, and Freddy Sanchez of all people hit a three-run homer, and Huff went back-to-back with his second dinger of the evening. The Giants were up 10-3. Impossible. Unthinkable.

Since the Giants are the Giants, even a laugher can't be a laugher. Guillermo Mota served up a Colby Rasmus grand slam, making it a three-run game. Luckily, Huff jacked his THIRD HOME RUN of the game, his fourth in two games, his first three-homer game of his career. On his wife's birthday. 13 total bases, 4 hits, and 6 RBI for Huff Daddy, and a month's worth of positive regression in two days. Let's hope it sticks.

Taking three of four from the Cardinals in their house and finishing the road trip over .500 after losing Posey is ENORMOUS. They now play 19 of their next 22 in the bay area, and are back in first place by half a game. Hopefully they haven't tired themselves out scoring all these runs, but it is going to take a while to wash away the delicious taste of Tony LaRussa's shingles-ridden tears.

Giants Win 7-5 in Improbable Fashion in 11 Innings

So graceful, so lithe.

Bat Tejada second, bat Huff fourth. Sure. Do whatever. Leave Lincecum in too long. Whatever. The Giants took their worst-looking lineup of the year into the belly of the shingles-riddled LaRussa beast and overcame two separate, insurmountable leads.

Eli Whiteside can't hang on to a pair of swinging third strikes or throw out a runner on a steal attempt. People were getting on base like gangbusters tonight, but there was Tejada, grounding to second base three times in a row. There was Huff, grounding to first three times in a row. Huff hit a tater that put the Giants on top for about ten seconds -- he'll probably be moved to the three-hole tomorrow -- but then Lincecum served up a two-run dinger and that looked like the ballgame.

And then, seemingly for the first time this season, Bochy used his bullpen correctly. Even more shocking, Nate Schierholtz knocked in the tying run in the top of the ninth. The bullpen held fast and shut down the heart of the St. Louis lineup. Nate Schierholtz knocked in the go-ahead run and then Brandon "Stamos" Crawford brought him home with a key insurance run in the eleventh. LaRussa tried his ultimate gambit -- turning off the lights of the stadium with a man on and two out in the bottom of the eleventh inning -- but Wilson calmly walked to the dugout and waited about fifteen minutes while the lights came back on, then threw one pitch to induce grounder and end the game.

This sure looked like nothing doing after the Cardinals took a 5-4 lead. Burrell had popped out in his pinch-hit appearance. Manny Burriss had taken over for Huff and was batting cleanup. I tried to think of who in the lineup could possibly crank one out, and all I could come up with was "Cody Ross." It never occurred to me that this craptackle band of no-bats would string together a bunch of clutch hits.

Huff was 1-for-4 tonight. Freddy Sanchez and Nate Schierholtz had three hits. Cody Ross had four. The number two hitter, Michael Tejada, was 0-for-6. If Brandon Crawford keeps being awesome, there's no way he doesn't take TJ's job once the Kung Fu Panda returns. Then again...Bruce Bochy.

The Giants attempt to win the series and finish the road trip on a happy note tomorrow. Pray for justice.

Life is Meaningless: Giants Lose, 4-3

For the first half of the game, it was the best the Giants had played in weeks. They kept moving the line. They took advantage of Cardinals mistakes. They got a hit with a runner in scoring position! Their young guys, Brandon Belt and Brandon Crawford, got starts. Aubrey Huff sat this one out. The Brandons got hits and took walks. The Giants hitters went deep into counts and made Chris Carpenter throw a ton of pitches. They made an opposing starter toss 100 pitches through five innings.

Then, it became the worst Giants game since Scott Cousins took Buster Posey into a back alley and pumped rounds into his kneecaps. The Giants wasted leadoff doubles. They brought Huff into a pinch-hit situation. They brought Rowand into a pinch-hit situation. Eli Whiteside struck out a bunch of times and said a bunch of cusses. The Giants bullpen imploded, giving up three runs in the bottom of the eighth. Brandon Belt is probably injured.

Does Bochy learn that Michael Tejada should not bat second in the lineup? Does he learn after this that "LOOGY Javier Lopez" means "Left-handed one-out guy Javier Lopez" and not "This guy can probably get three outs from St. Louis's right-handed Murderer's Row Javier Lopez?" No, I would bet any sum that he does not. I'm guessing tomorrow night we get Tejada back in the two-hole, Huff back in the three-hole, Belt on the DL, Burrell playing shortstop, and Time Lincecum throwing a one-hitter that the Giants lose, 6-0.

That's my prediction, anyway.

Giants Use Up All Their Runs for the Week, Beat Cardinals 7-3

KABLAMMO

So the Giants actually scored some runs against Genius Tony LaRussa and his Genius Band of St. LaRussas. Andres Torres mashed a grand slam and nearly lapped all the baserunners watching it go over the fence. Cody Ross clobbered a monster home run. Brandon Crawford got a key RBI. Madison Bumgarner was amazing, allowing only two runs, and those only came as the direct result of a horrifically blown call by an ump.

Even Tejada had a couple of singles, which of course came courtesy of the only way Michael Tejada can get a hit these days: a ground ball that manages to barely miss several gloves in succession. I would be worried about the fact that Tejada always seems to just get a couple singles right when his hitless streaks are about to become inexcusable, but beat writer extraordinaire Andrew Baggarly seems to get the impression dude's on the verge of either losing his starting job or getting straight DFA'd as soon as Pablo Sandoval can reasonably swing a bat again, which is a matter of weeks now. With recent call-ups Crawford and Burriss and the stalwart Mike Fontenot all contributing more to the team than Mikey T, it's hard not to agree. Even if you're Bruce "Gritty Veteran Fetish" Bochy.

Speaking of gritty veterans, Aaron Rowand took a pickoff throw directly to the dick yesterday, so he's questionable at the moment for today, but will be starting if his dick feels strong. Why will he be starting? His small sample size past success against today's Cardinals pitcher, of course. Bay City Ball today had a succinct post comparing the projected stats for Rowand against those of Belt. The results may not surprise anyone!

Good to see that the Giants just allowed the Marlins to sweep them in order to lull the Marlins into a false sense of confidence, allowing them to be repeatedly, utterly thrashed by the Dodgers and Diamondbacks. I'm just glad nothing bad happened during that Marlins series!

Anyway, these are the May 2011 Giants. Some days they can't score a single run against a mediocre pitching staff. Some days they hit grand slams. You know what doesn't happen on any days? Aubry Huff contributing. He was 0-for-4 yesterday with a walk, which I guess is good. He drew 83 walks and scored 100 runs in 2010. Baggs points out that in 2011, Huff's on pace for 49 walks and 43 runs. If you remixed all of Huff's at-bats this season into a YouTube video, it would sound like this:

popup popup popup
grounder, double-play
whiff whiff whiff whiff AARGH
popup double-play, weakly hit topper
whiff whiff swinging bunt
*REGGAETON HORN*

Just Pathetic: Giants Lose, 6-0

See, the ball is a metaphor for the Giants' playoff chances.

How many times must Aubrey Huff have a swinging strikeout or double-play groundout with runners in scoring position before Bochy is forced to admit that he's stinking on ice? One thousand times? Probably one thousand. I love Aubrey to death, but he is killing this team. It's not just his fault, though: everyone else on the Giants sucks too. Huff is just the guy hitting third or fourth every day. Really. Every day. Brandon Belt started yesterday. Know where he started? Left field. Know who's batting second today? Michael Tejada. Brandon Belt's sitting again today. You know who's playing instead? Aaron Rowand.

The Giants need to trade for six Jose Reyeii and have Pablo Sandoval come back ASAP. Since that won't be happening, we'll just hope for lightning to strike again. Should be any day now.

The Diamondbacks are in first place in the NL West for the first time since 2008. I'd rather have them there than the Rockies, but maybe this year's D-Backs are last year's Giants. (They're not.)

The Giants didn't get swept by the Brewers, so that's something. They start a series against the Cardinals today, and given today's lineup, this is a pretty good start for a Redbirds sweep with minimal effort. Tony LaRussa can finally bat his pitcher in the cleanup spot. He can go with a six-man infield. He can have his pitcher throw from center field. The Giants still won't be scoring any runs.

Baseball Feelings were invented by Roger Angell on February 20th, 1971



That's right.  Roger.  Angell. 

If you don't already know Roger Angell either as the author of the best things in the New Yorker ever or as the guy who didn't get nearly enough airtime in Ken Burns' Baseball, know him now as the godfather of both baseball feelings broadly, in that he has felt them and expressed them as perfectly as they can be felt and expressed, and Baseball Feelings specifically, in that in 2009 at the age of fucking eighty-nine Roger Angell wrote something at the NYer website about what the word on the blogs was re: Joba Chamberlain.  The word on the blogs?  God damn, Roger Angell is plugged in, I thought, and, inspired by that example, here we are a mere two years later with a blog of our own.  I give you, in its entirety, "The Interior Stadium," after what Roger Angell would definitely know to call "the jump" because, once again, Roger Angell is plugged in. 


KS