Madison Bumgarner Leads Rowand- and Tejada-less Giants to Victory

THIS IS YOUR NEW GOD

I've said it before, but Madison Bumgarner is capable of wondrous, glorious things. This is his age-21 season and everything apart from his meaningless W-L record and one historically disastrous inning indicates he's one of the very, very best pitchers in the game and only getting better.

The Giants jettisoned the steaming husks of Aaron Rowand and Michael Tejada on Thursday, and Bumgarner took the hill to end the Giants' losing skid, hold the Cubs to 2 hits and no runs in 8 innings while striking out 11 against an all-right-handed lineup. This was a phenomenal, phenomenal pitching performance. He was assisted by the unstoppable bat of Jeff Keppinger, the furious bunt assault dished out by Giants hitters, and a laughing, joking squad behind him that was playing their asses off and looking like they were having the time of their lives for the first time in a long, long, LONG time.

Perhaps Rowand and Tejada were the grumpiest old gritters that ever gamered up the clubhouse. Maybe after every loss, Tejowand would push Brandon Belt to the ground and wedgie him without remorse while taunting all of the starters. Perhaps atomic situps were involved. We'll never know. But the Giants looked loose and happy on Thursday, and as much fun as Rowand's batting stance was, we'll never have to worry about him coming in to strike out on three pitches in a key pinch-hit situation. That's great. That's so great.

The Diamondbacks arrive tonight, and the Giants have the potential to make up up to three games in the standings in one weekend. Lincecum, Cain, and Vogelsong will be pitching. The rosters have expanded and have brought with them Bret Pill, Pat Burrell, Brandon Crawford, and...miscellaneous. The offense scored four runs in their last game. Brandon Belt met a literal baby giraffe. I expect the Giants to take one of three, but they can do this. They can really, really do this. This is the true trial by fire for the G-men tonight. If they take this series, they can realistically stay in the race. If they get stomped like they did the last time the Diamondbacks were in town, that's pretty much the end.

Here we go.

THE DAWN OF A NEW DAY

The Giants DFA'd Miguel Tejada and Aaron Rowand today, which is layman's terms means they've been "future endeavored".

I don't really know how to process this. On one hand, I'm over the moon that the Giants were finally able to realize 1. these are sub-replacement-level performers and 2. they actually understand what "sunk cost" means. BOTH of these revelations are ENORMOUS leaps forward from the status quo that Brian Sabean and Bruce Bochy have maintained for the duration of their respective tenures.

On the other hand, the Tejada move comes a couple months too late, and the Rowand move comes about a season too late. These were bad, bad baseball players, and they spent the bulk of the season hitting in the number one and number two spots of lineups, day in and day out. These moves today are akin to Sonny Corleone getting shot two less times at that toll booth.

But enough of this naysaying! The Giants are eating Rowand's contract for next year! That's something the entire Giants fanbase has clamored for this entire season and never honestly expected it to happen. O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!

Brandon Belt Activates Beast Mode, Giants Win 5-2

"Ayo is this aggressive enough for you?"

At one point this season, after Brandon Belt was sent to Fresno for the umpteenth time, Bruce Bochy remarked something along the lines of, "He's too passive at the plate. I'd like to see him be more aggressive." Just for the record, the average player on the Giants sees barely over 3 pitches per at-bat. Opposing pitchers regularly make it to the eighth inning against the Giants with well under 100 pitches thrown. Pablo Sandoval, a dude who has a reputation for swinging at anything thrown toward the plate and several things thrown to first base, sees by far the most pitches of any everyday Giants player. All of these things are unacceptable from a major league lineup. Brandon Belt methodically works counts with a discerning eye. It is what he does. But Bruce Bochy has basically gone on record as saying, "Man I wish that kid would hack more. Veterans hack at things. You ever watch an Aaron Rowand at-bat? He swings three times and sits down. He swings so hard, you guys. That's a veteran professional ballplayer right there." And then he laces his fingers together behind his gargantuan head and dreams of grit, and sand, and toughness, and above all, those sexy intangibles.

So Brandon Belt got a start today, and he struck out and grounded out, and you could feel Bruce Bochy already drafting a text message to Brian Sabean reading "gotta snd belt back 2 frzno" but then Belt stepped up and was like SHAZAM and cranked a deep first-pitch home run to dead center that was blasted so hard you could hear Marlins pitcher Chris Volstad scream "FUCK" immediately after the crack of the bat, louder than I have ever heard a baseball player scream the word "FUCK." It rang majestically throughout the nearly-empty Joe Robbie Or Whatever Stadium and CSN Bay Area had no qualms showing the replay three times in rapid succession with unadulterated audio, because that's how awesome it was.

WHACK. "FUCK."

CRACK. "FUCK."

KABLAMMO. "FUCK."

So that was pretty awesome. Also awesome? Belt's next time up, he worked the count full and then hit the first home run that lefty Michael Dunn has ever given up to a left-handed batter. Ever. Earlier I suggested that Belt would have to hit four dingers to get Bochy to give him regular starts. He's halfway there now. He has as many home runs this season as either Miguel Tejada or Aaron Rowand, in fewer than a third as many plate appearances.

That sound you just heard is the Baby Giraffe being unleashed. Stay hot, Brandon. Your career may depend on it.

Giants Over Dodgers, 5-0

Herpin' my derp like yeah

Ryan Vogelsong qualified for, and now leads, the National League in ERA. Pablo Sandoval hit just the most massive home run. The defense was awesome. This was a nice, comfortable game. Maybe the first one this season. Refreshing.

The Brewers blew it in the desert, and today I found out that the Brew Crew just stinks on ice on the road this season. Hopefully that bears out when they come to AT&T in a few days, and also hopefully they get their act together and stomp on some snakes today. Just once guys, okay?

Today the Giants draw Rubby De La Rosa, who irks me endlessly because his name is "Rubby" BUT IT IS SOMEHOW NOT PRONOUNCED "RUBBY." The nerve of that guy. Hopefully the Giants can keep it up against him tonight, because tomorrow is Clayton Kershaw, and we all know how that one is playing out.

Injury news: Miguel Tejada went down with a lower ab strain, but somehow Aubrey Huff persists. Brandon Belt languishes. Aubrey Huff will outlive us all, smirking at us from above his massive soul patch. Aubrey Huff hit above Cody Ross in the order today. Guess which one didn't get two hits. I'm not calling for snipers at AT&T, because we know the lengths Bochy will go to in order to start a rookie over a gritty veteran. I'm not wishing for the possibility of injury to Aubrey Huff. I am honestly wishing for him to quit his Human Star Trek routine of only being good during even-numbered years. I am just thinking out loud, dudes. I am just saying.

I Only Missed the Ten Uneventful Innings; Giants Win 6-2 in 12.

Aubrey Huff did something awesome [citation needed]

When the Giants loaded the bases with nobody out in the top of the twelfth, I wondered how they were going to screw this up. When Michael Tejada was announced as a pinch hitter, I thought I had my answer. Sure enough, Tejada popped up in foul territory on the first pitch, then Andres Torres struck out. I thought man, that's it. The Giants aren't scoring here and the Padres will hit a few bloop singles in the bottom of this inning and walk it off. BUT NO. Fightin' Mike Fontenot drew a four-pitch walk for the go-ahead run, and Sandoval and Schierholtz tacked on four insurance runs for the hell of it.

The Giants still tried to give it away, though. The Padres loaded the bases in the bottom of the inning, and Wilson had to come in with the bases loaded and one out and only gave up one run (charged to Javier Lopez), which I think counts as Wilson's second-least-stressful save this season. Least stressful overall if the All-Star Game doesn't count.

So three and a half games in first place, and I'm rooting for the Dodgers to sweep the Diamondbacks this weekend. I'll be attending the game tomorrow, along with 25,000 other Giants fans in San Diego (weep for the 8,000-10,000 Padres fans in attendance). During last night's game, I realized what the best thing is about playing the Andrian Gonzalez-less Padres at Petco: the game almost certainly won't be won on a walk-off home run.

Giants Hate America, Lose to Padres 5-3

Okay, so now we need TWO hitters.

It should have been closer. Wasted opportunities. It could have been the Giants' tenth walk-off win of the season. Wasted opportunities wrapped inside a thin layer of squandered chances and served atop a bed of regrets.

This was only the third game of the season against the San Diego Banes of my GD Existence. Thanks to the unbalanced schedule, fully 20% of the remaining games are against the Padres. That is not hyperbole. Look it up. One in every five games from here on out is the worst two offenses in the National League trying to out-not-hit one another. The second half of the season is not going to be fun.

No trades forthcoming. The only combo-breaker in the Giants lineup of guaranteed outs is Pablo Sandoval, who is having a historic baseball-mauling streak that is being squandered on the rest of these mandolin-hitting suckbats. 13-game hitting streak, but 9-game extra-base hit streak, which equals the San Francisco team record. He's really brutalizing the ball to all fields and being the bounceback thinner Panda we all hoped he'd be at the beginning of the year. Now he just needs to hope some of that magic pixie dust wears off on Huff, Torres, Ross, and everyone else in the lineup. Tejada and Schierholtz are probably the two hitters in the lineup who aren't swinging at pickoff throws to first. And that is TERRIFYING.

WHAT IN THE: Giants Defeat Nationals 5-4 in 13 Innings

"Shpedoinkle!"

Unsustainable. Unbelievable. I don't know what the hell that game was. Time Lincecum struck out five batters through two innings, giving him exactly 1,000 career strikeouts (the fastest pitcher ever to 1K Ks), and then forgot what is a baseball game and coughed up four runs in the next two innings. I knew there was no way -- just no way -- that the Giants would score any runs in this game. Not with Tejada and Rowand taking up spots in the lineup. Not with Aubrey Huff being 0-for-13 since his three-homer game.

But the Giants scratched out four runs in the seventh and eighth innings. Even more importantly, the Giants bullpen was immaculate, combining for eight scoreless innings. Even Jeremy Affeldt -- who is basically just a left-handed can of kerosene -- had the best 1.2 innings I've ever seen him pitch.

It was an amazing, improbable game of the type that only the Giants have been able to crank out for the past two seasons. AT&T Park is filled with some insanely potent pixie dust (eight walk-off wins so far this season), but the Giants are in desperate need of offense, and soon.

Here's a rundown of the ways the Giants did NOT win last night's game.

- First Inning: Andres Torres gets a leadoff single. Freddy Sanchez walks with one out. The Giants do not score.

- Fourth Inning: Cody Ross gets a leadoff walk. The Giants do not score.

- Sixth Inning: Michael Tejada gets a leadoff bunt single. The Giants do not score.

(Now it gets silly)

- Ninth Inning: Andres Torres gets a leadoff walk. The Nationals pitcher couldn't locate the strike zone if he was Geordi LaForge bitten by a radioactive spider. Tejada delivers the hardest bunt I've ever seen on a 2-0 pitch, which should have been a double play, but first baseman Michael Morse goes for the force at first. Runner on second, one out. Pitcher is still effectively wild, and walks Freddy Sanchez as Torres steals third. Runners at the corners, one out. Cody Ross hits an easy double-play grounder, but the shortstop throws home and cuts down Torres. The Giants have runners on first and second. The Giants do not score.

- Tenth Inning: The Giants get a one-out single by Brandon Crawford, who takes second on a wild pitch. The pitcher is all over the zone this inning, but gets the .000-batting Chris Stewart to chase and strike out. Runner on second, two outs. Jeremy Affeldt comes to the plate and takes basically the ugliest swing in history at a ball a foot over his head. He looks at the next five pitches and takes his first walk since 2003. HIS FIRST WALK IN EIGHT YEARS. Runners on first and second, two outs, and Pudge Rodriguez is looking like the Canucks goalie behind home plate as every pitch is bouncing around like crazy. Still, Andres Torres swings at balls four, five, and six, and strikes out to end the inning. The Giants do not score.

So yeah, in terms of sheer ineptitude and feebleness with the bats, it's no wonder the Giants are constantly flirting with a negative run differential. It's no wonder that the vast majority of their games are one-run affairs. They invent whole new ways of not scoring on a daily basis. Luckily, Stewart was able to not swing at pitches in the 13th and get a leadoff walk, Tejada was able to run just fast enough to turn a double play into a fielder's choice, and Freddy Sanchez was able to flip a single into right field for the win.

Or maybe it's not lucky at all. Both teams were out of bench players and nearly out of pitchers. Bochy said after the game he was going to ask Tejada to pitch an inning when his bullpen ran out. That would have almost made TJ's contract worth it. Almost.

RYAN. VOGELSONG. Giants Win, 2-1

Pat found those "rad stilts" at a church rummage sale and it tickles him so.

Ryan Vogelsong, man. Dude is...amazing. McCovey Chronicles puts it succinctly:

"Juan Marichal never had a run of six straight starts allowing one earned run or fewer. Neither has Tim Lincecum. Gaylord Perry or Carl Hubbell never did it.

Ryan Vogelsong."

Why this dude isn't in every conversation about best pitcher in the NL is completely beyond me. Dude is an enormous upgrade over Zito and the one and only good-news Giants injury story this season.

As the Giants were being no-hit through six innings, I found myself thinking that Pablo Sandoval's imminent return in the next week is the longest wait for offense ever. Today's come-from-behind win alleviates that a little. Tejada had two hits, Huff had none. Belt is on the disabled list along with basically everyone.

The Giants are still winning ballgames and it is pretty awesome when they do, and unbelievably frustrating when they don't. So it goes. I'll take a series win over the loathsome Rockies any day. The stupid Diamondbacks won't stop winning ballgames, and even though the Nationals -- maybe the second-worst team in baseball right now -- are coming to town tomorrow, the Giants will probably be lucky to take two of three given the state of this friggin' team.

Giants vs. Nationals tomorrow. Lincecum on the hill. PRAY FOR JUSTICE

Bumgarner Has the Audacity to Allow One Earned Run, One Unearned Run; Giants Lose 2-1

"The guys asked me to tell you they hate you."

What an enormous bag of butts that game was. The Giants got four-hit by lousy pitching, got picked off after a double, got caught stealing, let a run score on a thrown away double-play ball, sat their hottest hitter, made their second-hottest hitter bat behind Aubrey Huff, and plastered another humongous "L" to the undeserving carcass of Sadison Bummedgarner, who pitched a great game.

I guess the only consolation is that both teamed looked equally lousy today. The Rockies got a bunch of bloop hits and did their best "2010 Padres" impression. Giants hitters can't hit. It's problematic, sure, but what are you gonna do, NOT play Michael Tejada?

Slugger Tejada is Benched, Giants Manage 3-1 Win

AWOOOOOOOOO

Not a lot to say on this one. Matt Cain looked pretty un-Cain-like in the early innings, then settled down late, getting outs when he needed them. Huff got an 0-fer but got BABiP'd on a couple of well-struck balls. Manny Burriss, replacing Michael Tejada in the number 2 slot, was 3-for-4. If he hadn't gotten picked off first following a leadoff hit in the fourth inning, the score would have been 4-1. Brandon Crawford got his first AT&T Park hit and RBI with his family in attendance, which is neat. Dude's a lifetime Giants fan. Feel-good story of the week, easily.

Giants still look good enough to keep plugging along. Rockies still look pretty lousy overall. Brian Wilson still can't get a three-batter save under any circumstances. The big Giants news of the past couple days is Giants GM Brian Sabean going on the radar and calling for a hit on Scott Cousins and his family, and the Joe Torre calling the Giants and being like, "ARE YOU INSANE" and then the Giants releasing a statement that is all "lol taken out of context" so it was a shameful couple of days for this front office to say the least.

Jason Giambi pinch-hit in the top of the ninth and was summarily booed vociferously. This pleases me a great deal. Being a fan of the team where Barry Bonds is the ultimate hometown hero and the repentant beloved white steroids abuser is enemy number one is pleasing on many levels.

Giants attempt to win the series tomorrow, and depending on where you live the FOX SPORTS RANDOM NUMBER GENERATOR may determine it's your local game of the week. MLB.tv will black out all four potential games because the hell with you, buddy. You should own a television, pay for cable, and live in whatever location you need to live to watch the game you want. Anything less would be uncivilized.

Giants Win 7-5 in Improbable Fashion in 11 Innings

So graceful, so lithe.

Bat Tejada second, bat Huff fourth. Sure. Do whatever. Leave Lincecum in too long. Whatever. The Giants took their worst-looking lineup of the year into the belly of the shingles-riddled LaRussa beast and overcame two separate, insurmountable leads.

Eli Whiteside can't hang on to a pair of swinging third strikes or throw out a runner on a steal attempt. People were getting on base like gangbusters tonight, but there was Tejada, grounding to second base three times in a row. There was Huff, grounding to first three times in a row. Huff hit a tater that put the Giants on top for about ten seconds -- he'll probably be moved to the three-hole tomorrow -- but then Lincecum served up a two-run dinger and that looked like the ballgame.

And then, seemingly for the first time this season, Bochy used his bullpen correctly. Even more shocking, Nate Schierholtz knocked in the tying run in the top of the ninth. The bullpen held fast and shut down the heart of the St. Louis lineup. Nate Schierholtz knocked in the go-ahead run and then Brandon "Stamos" Crawford brought him home with a key insurance run in the eleventh. LaRussa tried his ultimate gambit -- turning off the lights of the stadium with a man on and two out in the bottom of the eleventh inning -- but Wilson calmly walked to the dugout and waited about fifteen minutes while the lights came back on, then threw one pitch to induce grounder and end the game.

This sure looked like nothing doing after the Cardinals took a 5-4 lead. Burrell had popped out in his pinch-hit appearance. Manny Burriss had taken over for Huff and was batting cleanup. I tried to think of who in the lineup could possibly crank one out, and all I could come up with was "Cody Ross." It never occurred to me that this craptackle band of no-bats would string together a bunch of clutch hits.

Huff was 1-for-4 tonight. Freddy Sanchez and Nate Schierholtz had three hits. Cody Ross had four. The number two hitter, Michael Tejada, was 0-for-6. If Brandon Crawford keeps being awesome, there's no way he doesn't take TJ's job once the Kung Fu Panda returns. Then again...Bruce Bochy.

The Giants attempt to win the series and finish the road trip on a happy note tomorrow. Pray for justice.

Life is Meaningless: Giants Lose, 4-3

For the first half of the game, it was the best the Giants had played in weeks. They kept moving the line. They took advantage of Cardinals mistakes. They got a hit with a runner in scoring position! Their young guys, Brandon Belt and Brandon Crawford, got starts. Aubrey Huff sat this one out. The Brandons got hits and took walks. The Giants hitters went deep into counts and made Chris Carpenter throw a ton of pitches. They made an opposing starter toss 100 pitches through five innings.

Then, it became the worst Giants game since Scott Cousins took Buster Posey into a back alley and pumped rounds into his kneecaps. The Giants wasted leadoff doubles. They brought Huff into a pinch-hit situation. They brought Rowand into a pinch-hit situation. Eli Whiteside struck out a bunch of times and said a bunch of cusses. The Giants bullpen imploded, giving up three runs in the bottom of the eighth. Brandon Belt is probably injured.

Does Bochy learn that Michael Tejada should not bat second in the lineup? Does he learn after this that "LOOGY Javier Lopez" means "Left-handed one-out guy Javier Lopez" and not "This guy can probably get three outs from St. Louis's right-handed Murderer's Row Javier Lopez?" No, I would bet any sum that he does not. I'm guessing tomorrow night we get Tejada back in the two-hole, Huff back in the three-hole, Belt on the DL, Burrell playing shortstop, and Time Lincecum throwing a one-hitter that the Giants lose, 6-0.

That's my prediction, anyway.

Just Pathetic: Giants Lose, 6-0

See, the ball is a metaphor for the Giants' playoff chances.

How many times must Aubrey Huff have a swinging strikeout or double-play groundout with runners in scoring position before Bochy is forced to admit that he's stinking on ice? One thousand times? Probably one thousand. I love Aubrey to death, but he is killing this team. It's not just his fault, though: everyone else on the Giants sucks too. Huff is just the guy hitting third or fourth every day. Really. Every day. Brandon Belt started yesterday. Know where he started? Left field. Know who's batting second today? Michael Tejada. Brandon Belt's sitting again today. You know who's playing instead? Aaron Rowand.

The Giants need to trade for six Jose Reyeii and have Pablo Sandoval come back ASAP. Since that won't be happening, we'll just hope for lightning to strike again. Should be any day now.

The Diamondbacks are in first place in the NL West for the first time since 2008. I'd rather have them there than the Rockies, but maybe this year's D-Backs are last year's Giants. (They're not.)

The Giants didn't get swept by the Brewers, so that's something. They start a series against the Cardinals today, and given today's lineup, this is a pretty good start for a Redbirds sweep with minimal effort. Tony LaRussa can finally bat his pitcher in the cleanup spot. He can go with a six-man infield. He can have his pitcher throw from center field. The Giants still won't be scoring any runs.

Giants Basically Quit Trying, Lose 5-1

This game had everything you'd expect from Bad 2011 Giants: baserunning gaffes, first-pitch outs, Aubrey Huff killing four rallies, leadoff doubles getting stranded, starting pitchers getting flustered, terrible umpiring calls, Michael Tejada celebrating doing something useless, Aaron Rowand coming in to pinch-hit and taking two strikes before swinging and missing at a slider low and away, Pat Burrell getting a key pinch-hit walk while starter Nate Schierholtz goes 0-for-4, opposing pitchers getting multiple single-digit pitch count innings, and Mike Krukow saying "That's a rough at-bat" after yet another Giants batter has a three-pitch strikeout.

The only surprising thing about this game was that the Giants got Ricky Nolasco over 100 pitches. The final score of this game really should have been 2-1. Matt Cain was the victim of literally the worst strike-calling I've ever seen in the fourth inning, no less than three times on two different batters getting an inning-ending strike three called a ball, leading to two consecutive walks, which let the Marlins extend the inning for a three-run double. It was a fiasco behind the plate all night. A pitch would be a strike, and literally the next pitch in the exact same location would be called a ball, or vice versa. The bad news is that Joe West is also on this umpiring crew.

Aubrey Huff should not be playing games right now, let alone batting third in the lineup. His WAR is the second-worst in the NL according to baseball-reference.com and he can't hit a lick. He's truly turning in a sub-Tejada performance, and it's not even close. The Giants need to call up Brandon Belt soon. A year ago I wouldn't imagine they'd dream of benching Huff, but they've done it with Rowand and cut Molina loose to make room for Posey, so it's a possibility. Two pieces of good news for today: Pablo Sandoval will probably be back ahead of schedule, and the Rockies lost their best pitcher. I'm not celebrating De La Rosa getting hurt by any means, but if the already-flustered Rockies get even more hopeless, I'm all for it.

Tonight was a demoralizing, frustrating loss. (Is there any other kind?) My prediction is a Marlins sweep, but I'll be happy to be proved wrong. It's early in the season, but this offense needs to make SOMETHING happen or we're all doomed.

Giants Win Twice, Beat Dodgers 8-5

Thank God for Cody Ross

It's not often that your team wins and you're just so burnt out and frazzled and disappointed with the game that you can't even really enjoy it. Please see tonight's game against the Dodgers for reference.

The Giants, who have basically never scored a run against Clayton Kershaw, touched him for four runs and drove him from the game early. Matt Cain was pitching one of the most brilliant games of his career, completely shutting down the Dodgers offense. Then, in the eighth inning, the Giants -- for the third time in as many days -- blew their lead, with both Cain and the bullpen coughing up four runs and letting the Dodgers tie the game. Bruce Bochy, to his credit, managed the inning perfectly, but everything went wrong. He left Cain in just long enough, who gave up a single and got a pop fly out. Then he brought in LOOGY Javier Lopez, who struck out lefty Andre Ethier. Then he brought in Sergio Romo to pitch to righty Matt Kemp...and hung a slider for a single, runners at first and second, two out. Given Romo's penchant for hanging sliders in big situations, Bochy went to Brian Wilson for the four-pitch save...but apparently it was bad Brian Wilson, and he gave up a double to Uribe, which scored two. Then, just to drive home that the Giants are really being the Giants like crazy all over the place, Aubrey Huff inexplicably didn't go for a routine grounder, allowing a single and letting the tying run score.

Probably the lone highlight of the Giants looking completely hopeless with their bats and with their gloves these past couple weeks has been Bochy's simmering, barely-contained rage.

BUT THEN, in the top of the ninth inning, Cody Ross belted a HUGE three-run, two-out homer. Wilson gives up a leadoff single but gets a strikeout and two groundouts. Ballgame.

So why was this such a brutal game? Well, beyond the fact that Cain was denied a win due to a ridiculous bullpen performance (Brian Wilson now leads the team in wins, and is on pace for 15 wins and 46 saves), and despite the fact that, although the Giants had 13 hits and were 5-for-9 with RISP, the Ross homer was the only extra-base hit for the Giants all evening, there were ominous events right and left.

Mark DeRosa, mired in an 0-for-23 slump, flinched away from a ball in the dirt in the fourth inning, and his surgically-repaired/ruined wrist exploded.

It was really a shame, and based on DeRosa's reaction, not only is it not good news, but it may be the injury that finally ends his career.

Really, it was sadder than I can describe. DeRosa has shown a desire to play, and to perform this season after spending the last couple of years hurt. You could tell this was a dude who honest-to-god loves this game to death and would do anything to prove himself to his team and the fans, but his body just isn't on his side any more -- if it ever was. During one of his at-bats tonight, Vin Scully started reading the list of injuries DeRosa has had in his career. I missed the intro to the list and for a while, as he reeled off injury upon injury, thought he was listing all of the injuries this season for the NL West teams. It was a really, REALLY long list.

Mark DeRosa's a hell of a dude, and I really want nothing but the best for him, but I really think he may call it a career following this. a terrible way to wrap things up.

So with all of that in mind, watching the Giants blow a lead, you can imagine how it felt when Aaron Rowand hurt his back running out a groundout to lead off the ninth inning. You can FURTHER imagine how it felt in the bottom of the ninth, when Brian Wilson, trying for the winsave, steps in a hole and twists his ankle while trying to get the next-to-last out.

So there's your Giants, back in first place thanks to the Phillies beating the Rockies today. Their bats aren't convincingly alive, their defense is highly suspect, their once-unbeatable bullpen is extremely shaky, and three of their players may be injured after tonight (not counting Freddy Sanchez's swollen knee).

Brian Wilson would be the biggest hit. The Giants have more than enough outfielders without Rowand, and without whatever-the-hell reason Bochy has for playing him more often than not, it would mean more at-bats for Burrell and Torres, which is great. When DeRosa goes back on the DL, it means Mighty Mike Fontenot (who took over with a 2-2 count against Clayton Kershaw when DeRosa had to leave and took two pitches for a huge walk, then went on to add another walk, a hit, and a spectacular couple of plays, one of which ended the game) could become the everyday SS along with spelling Sanchez. It also means the Giants possibly send down pinch-runner/seventh outfielder Darren Ford and call up Manny Burriss and/or Ryan Rohlinger and/or Brandon Belt. There is talk up bringing up Belt and moving Huff to third, which, no. Michael Tejada had a pair of RBI singles tonight, but I'll need a few more games of productivity before I believe Burriss or Rohlinger aren't a massive upgrade over Tejada/DeRosa on the left side of the infield.

Anyway, that's more than enough feelings for this evening. Tomorrow is another huge game for the Giants, as 0-7 Madison Bumgarner goes for his first win. Same as it ever was.

Giants Please Thor, Odin, Zeus, et al, Win Shortened game 3-0

Trust the Gorton's Fisher-Man

Ryan Vogelsong continues to be the Giants' good-luck charm. Not only are the Giants 4-0 in Vogelsong's starts, but he managed to tear the sky asunder, bringing with him a maelstrom of terrible playing conditions that allowed him to toss his first complete-game shutout by putting in only six innings of work.

By all accounts, it was a truly miserable couple of hours that carried over, postponing today's game and pushing Tim Lincecum's start back a day, allowing him to open tomorrow's big two-game series in Colorado. On the downside, we won't get to see Tejada and DeRosa flail at Zambrano's stuff all day today.

What's that? How did Tejada do yesterday, playing in the soup? He went 0-for-3 with two errors. why do you ask?

Giants Snatch Defeat From Jaws of Completely Blowing it, Sweep D-Backs 3-2

Nate Schierholtz, everybody

The Giants swept their home stand, going 6-0 and taking sole possession of first place in the NL West. They didn't win more than five games in a row all last year. Their current run of winning games without any offense is totally unsustainable, but I'm going to enjoy it while it lasts. Well, not "enjoy," but "begrudgingly accept." Most of these games are no treat to watch.

Giants pitchers with three wins: Tim Lincecum, Matt Cain, Jonathan Sanchez, Brian Wilson. Giants pitchers that are 0-5: Madison Bumgarner.

The Giants got a lot of help from bit players yesterday: Eli Whiteside had a couple of doubles and Nate Schierholz had a three-hit day and the spectacular play you see above. Want to guess how Michael Tejada did? Go ahead, guess. According to Bay City Ball, Tejada isn't the worst Giants shortstop ever, so good for him!

Giants start another road trip in a couple of hours, opening a series at Wrigley today before a pair of two-game series against the Dodgers and Rockies. Short, but important road trip. Really, really hoping the bats wake up at some point in the next few days. There could be dire consequences otherwise.

Giants who are hitting, as of 5/13/11: Andres Torres, Nate Schierholz, Eli Whiteside, Cody Ross (kinda)

Giants who aren't hitting, as of 5/13/11: Freddy Sanchez, Aubrey Huff, Buster Posey, Mike Fontenot, Mark DeRosa, Tejada

Giants who are hitting, but not playing: Pat Burrell

Giants Walk Off Yet Again, Beat Diamondbacks 1-0

Graphic representation of tonight's game

So the Giants had their first misstep in Operation: Bat Mike Fontenot Third, as the minuscule miracle didn't reach base and looked a bit uneasy at the plate for the first time in a week. The Giants activated Mark DeRosa and Andres Torres from the DL, sending Emmanuel Burriss and Ryan Rohlinger back to the minors, electing to keep Darren "Vroom" Ford in the injured Pablo Sandoval's spot. This proved to be the correct decision, as in the bottom of the ninth in a scoreless game, Buster Posey took a four-pitch leadoff walk and was replaced by Ford, who stole second and came home easily on Cody Ross's one-out, walk-off hit down the left field line.

Tonight was a true pitcher's duel, as both Tim Lincecum and whoever that was from Arizona tossed gems. The Giants offense helped out what's-his-name though, especially DeRosa. This was DeRo's first chance to prove himself a massive upgrade over Michael Tejada. He actually managed to out-Tejada Tejada at one point, busting a one-pitch, inning-ending double play with the bases loaded in late innings. He also looked to have about the same range as Tejada at third base, which is to say, none. Torres looked great, though, getting a hit and a walk, making good plays in center, and working counts, which is what a leadoff hitter is supposed to do (shorthand: don't be Aaron Rowand).

Tim Lincecum is a joy to watch. It may sound crazy, but every time he takes the mound, I feel like it's possible he'll throw a no-hitter that evening. He's just got everything working so far this year. He was hitless through five today, ended up going eight innings with nine Ks and no earned runs. He deserved the win today, but instead that went to poacher Brian Wilson, who pitched a solid top of the ninth. I really am loving Bochy going with Wilson as the ninth-inning guy, rather than just the closer. It's paid off so far, since the Giants seem to be walk-off machines now. The Giants are just a half-game back in the NL West now. Yeah, it's May. SO WHAT

Ross the Boss Releases Kraken, Giants Win 3-0, Sweep Rockies

Cody Ross returned from wherever the hell he went, driving in all three Giants runs, included a pink-batted home run, his first of the year.

Ryan Vogelsong continues to be the best Barry Zito replacement ever, pitching five perfect innings. He ended up going six and a third, giving up two hits and a walk, and nothing else. The Giants bullpen continues their dominance, and the Giants captured their first sweep of the season and...get this...their first Sunday win of the season. Happy Mother's Day, Giants fans!

With the sweep, the Giants now sit only one game behind the Rockies in the National League West. Oh, Michael Tejada went 0-for-3. He's now hitting a blistering .195. Andres Torres and Mark DeRosa return from the DL this week. Tejada will probably be "getting some time off," since Operation: Bat Mike Fontenot Third is rolling steadily along.

Ho-Hum, Another Walkoff Win: Giants over Rockies, 3-2

I heard things

Operation: Bat Mike Fontenot Third had its most palpable results to date. The diminuitive dynamo had a double and a leaping line-drive snag at the most key of moments that, if you don't see it on Web Gems tomorrow, somebody done fucked up. But most importantly, Fontenot came up in a tie game with runners at first and second and nobody out in the bottom of the ninth. He showed bunt, and took a pitch low. He showed bunt, and bunted a pitch foul. He showed bunt, and hit the deck as a wild pitch sailed a foot over his head (so like five feet high) and went to the backstop. The runners advanced to second and third, so you know what Mike Fontenot did? On the next pitch, he busted a deep fly ball to the warning track in right field and he DROVE THAT RUN THE FUCK IN.

That may seem like the most fundamental baseball sense in the world, but that's the type of thing the Giants have not been doing in 2011, and to an extent, something they've been doing the past few years. The Giants of last night and tonight look like a hell of a team. They've been picking themselves off the floor and coming back just when you think there's no way they can. If this team ever starts firing on all cylinders and has all their key players healthy at the same time, look out.

Something else that's really impressed me the past two games: Bruce Bochy isn't afraid to use his closer as a stopper. Brian Wilson has pitched two solid innings in the top of the ninth inning in back-to-back tied games. This is a great way to play baseball. Also, it's clear that Bochy has a much keener grasp on how to handle his bullpen than does Clint Hurdle, and that may have won the game tonight.

The Giants try to avoid the sweep tomorrow. Posey will be wearing pink Mother's Day cleats and some of the B-squad may be starting, as is Bochy's modus operandi when the Giants take the first two games in a three-game series. But the Giants have an off day on Monday, so who knows?

By the way, Michael Tejada: still useless.