GAME TWO: Giants 6, Cubs 3: what is this i don't even

Show a little decorum Cody, geez.

Thankfully, the "expecting the worst" approach worked pretty well. Barry Zito only gave up two runs on an unfortunate homer, which is better than most were expecting. The Giants scored 19 runs in two games today, which not only brought them back to a positive run differential, but also took them from dead last in the majors in terms of offense, to fifth-worst. A momentous day, to be certain.

So the Giants have won seven in a row now. Somehow. Literally everyone got a hit today (except Barry Zito, but let's not be silly dudes). Manny Burriss got his first extra-base hit since 2007. Cody Ross and Pablo Sandoval barely -- BARELY -- missed home runs. The Giants are still kind of lousy at getting hits with runners in scoring position, but on the other hand, Nate Schierholtz is a two-strike clutch-hit machine.

Something else that's come out of the past week: Chris Stewart. He got called up to be Eli Whiteside's backup catcher when that whole...you know... thing went down. The line on him was that he was a good defensive catcher who was slightly worse than Eli Whiteside with the bat. (Which is kind of like saying that a dude with his upper body on fire is slightly less on fire than a guy with his whole body on fire.) But Whiteside kept letting every ball get past him, couldn't throw out a single base runner, and hit Eli Whiteside-level bad. He caught like four games in a row a couple weeks ago and then went "Oh, my body," and sat in a tub of ice for a bunch of days. While old greyhead was trying to keep his kneecaps from sliding down into his feet, Stewart started a mess of games, blocked tons of pitches, hosed all kinds of fools (seriously, he has a major cannon), called spectacular games, and his fist pumps got the fans and his pitchers fired up, all while hitting well above the Eli Whiteside line. As a bonus, his face is way less punchable than Eli's, which is nice. The Giants still have their eye on Yorvit Torrealba or whoever because they clearly need a real, actual catcher, but I am a huge fan of Stewart now. I'll take him over Whiteside, even though Whitey once hit a grand slam, and that was pretty neat. Also, his nickname is "Whitey."

Slugger Tejada is Benched, Giants Manage 3-1 Win

AWOOOOOOOOO

Not a lot to say on this one. Matt Cain looked pretty un-Cain-like in the early innings, then settled down late, getting outs when he needed them. Huff got an 0-fer but got BABiP'd on a couple of well-struck balls. Manny Burriss, replacing Michael Tejada in the number 2 slot, was 3-for-4. If he hadn't gotten picked off first following a leadoff hit in the fourth inning, the score would have been 4-1. Brandon Crawford got his first AT&T Park hit and RBI with his family in attendance, which is neat. Dude's a lifetime Giants fan. Feel-good story of the week, easily.

Giants still look good enough to keep plugging along. Rockies still look pretty lousy overall. Brian Wilson still can't get a three-batter save under any circumstances. The big Giants news of the past couple days is Giants GM Brian Sabean going on the radar and calling for a hit on Scott Cousins and his family, and the Joe Torre calling the Giants and being like, "ARE YOU INSANE" and then the Giants releasing a statement that is all "lol taken out of context" so it was a shameful couple of days for this front office to say the least.

Jason Giambi pinch-hit in the top of the ninth and was summarily booed vociferously. This pleases me a great deal. Being a fan of the team where Barry Bonds is the ultimate hometown hero and the repentant beloved white steroids abuser is enemy number one is pleasing on many levels.

Giants attempt to win the series tomorrow, and depending on where you live the FOX SPORTS RANDOM NUMBER GENERATOR may determine it's your local game of the week. MLB.tv will black out all four potential games because the hell with you, buddy. You should own a television, pay for cable, and live in whatever location you need to live to watch the game you want. Anything less would be uncivilized.

Two Walk-Off Wins Sandwich Amazing Lincecum Performance, Giants Sweep A's

THIS RULED

Well, that was a hell of a series. The Giants now have seven walk-off wins this season (it is May), and Tim Lincecum is on pace for one million instances of being completely righteous. The Giants have swept three straight series in San Francisco, and are three and a half games in first, thanks to a concurrent sweep of the Rockies by the Brewers. Everyone on the Dodgers is having body parts fall off of or out of them at an alarming rate, and the Padres and Diamondbacks.

Lincecum threw a complete-game three-hit shutout, striking out only six (unusual for him), and hitting 96 and 95 MPH on his last two strikeouts in the ninth, the latter on his 133rd pitch of the game. This dude is every bit as amazing as your typical Halladay or Lee or what have you, and it bears repeating.

Everyone seemed to have a key hit this series, but usually late in the games. It is starting to look like the Giants intentionally save their one or two hits with RISP for a dramatic walk-off. Even sub-Tejada-performing Aubrey Huff had a walk-off single this weekend, for crying out loud.

Pound it, bro. I'm gonna call you Buster Brosey. That cool? Shut up, rook.

The three best at-bats of the home stand were two insanely important singles by Manny Burriss and a monster splash hit by Nate Schierholtz. This is starting to be an exciting team to watch. The only thing that really rankles is Bruce Bochy's head-scratching bullpen management. Although, after YET ANOTHER Jeremy Affeldt meltdown/lead loss today, juxtaposed with two insanely key shutdown innings by Sergio Romo, perhaps the winds of change are blowing.