Brandon Motherfucking Belt: Giants Win, 5-3

This is the power I wield: not one hour after bemoaning the fate of Brandon Belt, the Giants call him up, and started him at first base, due to a "tight back" for Aubrey Huff. What does Belt do? Oh, just gets the Giants on the board with a sweet home run onto the arcade in his first at-bat, and rips a sensational two-out, two-run double down the opposite line (off a lefty) to put the Giants on top for good. Brandon Belt, god damn it.

Madison Bumgarner didn't get Sadison Bumgarnered for once, as the Giants score more than three runs for him at home for the first time this year. Even Brandon Crawford had a hit and two walks. Oh also, the Giants placed Miguel Tejada on the DL and traded some minor league C-level arms for the Astros' Jeff Keppinger, a league-average utility guy/middle infielder, which immediately gives the Giants an upgraded position. Nate Schierholtz had his first bad game in two weeks but still had a couple solid at-bats and a hit, so between him, Belt, and Sandoval, that's three more hitters than the Giants had a month ago. Get a for-real league-average catcher in there, and ALL BETS ARE OFF.

This was a good game. Giants try to avoid the sweep tomorrow on a getaway day against Clayton Kershaw. The snakes got mauled by the Brewers in the desert. Let's do this.

Giants Over Dodgers, 5-0

Herpin' my derp like yeah

Ryan Vogelsong qualified for, and now leads, the National League in ERA. Pablo Sandoval hit just the most massive home run. The defense was awesome. This was a nice, comfortable game. Maybe the first one this season. Refreshing.

The Brewers blew it in the desert, and today I found out that the Brew Crew just stinks on ice on the road this season. Hopefully that bears out when they come to AT&T in a few days, and also hopefully they get their act together and stomp on some snakes today. Just once guys, okay?

Today the Giants draw Rubby De La Rosa, who irks me endlessly because his name is "Rubby" BUT IT IS SOMEHOW NOT PRONOUNCED "RUBBY." The nerve of that guy. Hopefully the Giants can keep it up against him tonight, because tomorrow is Clayton Kershaw, and we all know how that one is playing out.

Injury news: Miguel Tejada went down with a lower ab strain, but somehow Aubrey Huff persists. Brandon Belt languishes. Aubrey Huff will outlive us all, smirking at us from above his massive soul patch. Aubrey Huff hit above Cody Ross in the order today. Guess which one didn't get two hits. I'm not calling for snipers at AT&T, because we know the lengths Bochy will go to in order to start a rookie over a gritty veteran. I'm not wishing for the possibility of injury to Aubrey Huff. I am honestly wishing for him to quit his Human Star Trek routine of only being good during even-numbered years. I am just thinking out loud, dudes. I am just saying.

Wilson Struggles in Vain to Blow Save; Giants Win, 3-1

See, the bat is a metaphor for the Giants bullpen

Well, Madison Bumgarner threw a hell of a game tonight, and Bruce Bochy once again allowed his starter to go out to pitch the eighth inning with a ~100 pitch count. That sound you heard around 9:15 tonight was a million Giants fans holding onto their butts.

Luckily, he had a short shutdown eighth inning. The criminally underutilized Sergio Romo began warming up in the bullpen during the eighth. You know, because Brian Wilson possibly injured himself last night. And then, Bumgarner came out to pitch the ninth inning, with the Giants ahead 3-0 and Bumgarner going not only for his first win this season, but for his first complete-game shutout.

Bumgarner got the first two hitters in the bottom of the ninth, but then Rod Barrajas hit a Texas-leaguer into right field, and Jerry Sands drove him in with a deep double. So with two out and one on, Bochy brought in Brian Wilson for the one-out save. Easy stuff, right?

Wilson walked Jay Gibbons (who?) on five pitches. He then walked James Loney on five pitches. The bases are now loaded and Wilson has only thrown two strikes. Luckily, on the fifth pitch of Jamey Carroll's at-bat, he hit a liner that Nate Schierholtz had to transcend space and time and merge with the Speed Force in order to catch and end the game. No big D.

It was nerve-wracking and insane and it never needed to be. The Giants had seven hits, four walks, and 2 HBP and only scored three runs. They were 3-for-13 with RISP and left 10 on base. Aubrey Huff had another 0-fer and continues to look completely lost and bat third. I think it's time to revisit Operation: Bat Mike Fontenot Third.

Still, the Giants complete the two-game sweep of the Dodgers, remain in first place, and finish the road trip 3-3. Could/should have been much, MUCH worse. Hopefully they don't get completely annihilated by the A's this weekend (spoiler: they will). The two most frustrating wins of the year.

Giants Win Twice, Beat Dodgers 8-5

Thank God for Cody Ross

It's not often that your team wins and you're just so burnt out and frazzled and disappointed with the game that you can't even really enjoy it. Please see tonight's game against the Dodgers for reference.

The Giants, who have basically never scored a run against Clayton Kershaw, touched him for four runs and drove him from the game early. Matt Cain was pitching one of the most brilliant games of his career, completely shutting down the Dodgers offense. Then, in the eighth inning, the Giants -- for the third time in as many days -- blew their lead, with both Cain and the bullpen coughing up four runs and letting the Dodgers tie the game. Bruce Bochy, to his credit, managed the inning perfectly, but everything went wrong. He left Cain in just long enough, who gave up a single and got a pop fly out. Then he brought in LOOGY Javier Lopez, who struck out lefty Andre Ethier. Then he brought in Sergio Romo to pitch to righty Matt Kemp...and hung a slider for a single, runners at first and second, two out. Given Romo's penchant for hanging sliders in big situations, Bochy went to Brian Wilson for the four-pitch save...but apparently it was bad Brian Wilson, and he gave up a double to Uribe, which scored two. Then, just to drive home that the Giants are really being the Giants like crazy all over the place, Aubrey Huff inexplicably didn't go for a routine grounder, allowing a single and letting the tying run score.

Probably the lone highlight of the Giants looking completely hopeless with their bats and with their gloves these past couple weeks has been Bochy's simmering, barely-contained rage.

BUT THEN, in the top of the ninth inning, Cody Ross belted a HUGE three-run, two-out homer. Wilson gives up a leadoff single but gets a strikeout and two groundouts. Ballgame.

So why was this such a brutal game? Well, beyond the fact that Cain was denied a win due to a ridiculous bullpen performance (Brian Wilson now leads the team in wins, and is on pace for 15 wins and 46 saves), and despite the fact that, although the Giants had 13 hits and were 5-for-9 with RISP, the Ross homer was the only extra-base hit for the Giants all evening, there were ominous events right and left.

Mark DeRosa, mired in an 0-for-23 slump, flinched away from a ball in the dirt in the fourth inning, and his surgically-repaired/ruined wrist exploded.

It was really a shame, and based on DeRosa's reaction, not only is it not good news, but it may be the injury that finally ends his career.

Really, it was sadder than I can describe. DeRosa has shown a desire to play, and to perform this season after spending the last couple of years hurt. You could tell this was a dude who honest-to-god loves this game to death and would do anything to prove himself to his team and the fans, but his body just isn't on his side any more -- if it ever was. During one of his at-bats tonight, Vin Scully started reading the list of injuries DeRosa has had in his career. I missed the intro to the list and for a while, as he reeled off injury upon injury, thought he was listing all of the injuries this season for the NL West teams. It was a really, REALLY long list.

Mark DeRosa's a hell of a dude, and I really want nothing but the best for him, but I really think he may call it a career following this. a terrible way to wrap things up.

So with all of that in mind, watching the Giants blow a lead, you can imagine how it felt when Aaron Rowand hurt his back running out a groundout to lead off the ninth inning. You can FURTHER imagine how it felt in the bottom of the ninth, when Brian Wilson, trying for the winsave, steps in a hole and twists his ankle while trying to get the next-to-last out.

So there's your Giants, back in first place thanks to the Phillies beating the Rockies today. Their bats aren't convincingly alive, their defense is highly suspect, their once-unbeatable bullpen is extremely shaky, and three of their players may be injured after tonight (not counting Freddy Sanchez's swollen knee).

Brian Wilson would be the biggest hit. The Giants have more than enough outfielders without Rowand, and without whatever-the-hell reason Bochy has for playing him more often than not, it would mean more at-bats for Burrell and Torres, which is great. When DeRosa goes back on the DL, it means Mighty Mike Fontenot (who took over with a 2-2 count against Clayton Kershaw when DeRosa had to leave and took two pitches for a huge walk, then went on to add another walk, a hit, and a spectacular couple of plays, one of which ended the game) could become the everyday SS along with spelling Sanchez. It also means the Giants possibly send down pinch-runner/seventh outfielder Darren Ford and call up Manny Burriss and/or Ryan Rohlinger and/or Brandon Belt. There is talk up bringing up Belt and moving Huff to third, which, no. Michael Tejada had a pair of RBI singles tonight, but I'll need a few more games of productivity before I believe Burriss or Rohlinger aren't a massive upgrade over Tejada/DeRosa on the left side of the infield.

Anyway, that's more than enough feelings for this evening. Tomorrow is another huge game for the Giants, as 0-7 Madison Bumgarner goes for his first win. Same as it ever was.

Still The Greatest Kirk Gibson World Series Home Run (Yeah, I Said It)