Blue Jays 11, Red Sox 8; Red Sox 4, Blue Jays 1: One Losing Streak Ends, Another Begins, Which is Like The Seasons

Josh Donaldson: A Guy Who is Working Out

Tuesday dingerzzz from Josh Donaldson and Jose Bautista -- take that, four-game losing streak! Ho ho! -- then today R. A. Dickey pitched and so defeat. What else might one even say.

But not so fast! It is time once again for The R. A. Dickey Honorary Old English Word-Hoard of which we have together grown so fond! Today let us consider heoru, which means "sword," like kind of a lot of other Old English words do actually, but this one shows up in a bunch of compounds that I like, usually meaning not sword, exactly, but just, like, really, really bad, like for example heoruwolf, which Clark Hall has as "bloodthirsty wolf," or heoruhocit, "savagely barbed," heorugrimm, which just means, like, extra grim, like playing a baseball game in front of literally zero people because of protests and riots and curfews stemming from state violence that have shut down the city but for some reason there is still a baseball game but not for the people in that city haha!  

Your Toronto Blue Jays are 10-12 or whatever.

KS

NATS RISE TO GLORY game seven

Man, I am no traditionalist by any means, unless we are talking pre-traditional traditionalist. Like, I would appreciate naked witches in the woods like a mufucka. But unfortunately in American stuff, when you say traditionalist, you don't mean like old world ancient awesome shit but stuff from a little while back, like when they burned witches and shit. But inter-league baseball is already slightly weird to me, but for it to happen so early in the year, before baseball even starts in our real heads. This game today was apparently the Boston Red Sox home opener. How the fuck do you home opener against the other league? That's wacky.
I can imagine no more wretched place on earth than a Boston Red Sox home opener, after a long disgusting winter full of like 10 ft of snow, drunken misanthropic misfits of the rest of the earth blossoming along with the spring buds, ready to get wicked wasted & fuck shit up in a tank top, crude stick & poke tattoos exposed for all the drunk Irish cops to make note of. But that's what happened today for my barely followed but pretend beloved Washington Nationals. Apparently the Nats treated it like still spring training, as the Red Sox posted 8 runs on the big green monster scoreboard in the first 3 innings, so the rest of the game was just a reason to get even more wasted and probably yell really horrible shit to Bryce Harper and Jayson Werth. By the way, congratulation overpaid beardo fucker who seems kinda chill by athlete standards by kinda unchill by actual human standards Jayson Werth - you have already gotten off the DL for the first time this season. Again, your Rise to Glory may not be as no doubtful as one would think if already one of the top paid dudes is getting off the DL, and we haven't even gotten to May. But oh well, it is baseball. Thus it's a slow and overthought process, where I already question if somehow it is my fault they are losing because I chose the "Rise to Glory" catchphrase. Already I am thinking of changing it, and we are only seven games into this shit.
Nats are 2-5.

The Toronto Blue Jays: Still Awful, But Dumber

that's actually one more game than he got

During their recent shitty home stand, the definitely shitty Toronto Blue Jays managed to eliminate the even shittier Boston Red Sox from playoff contention, which is, I guess, something, right? A few days later, the Blue Jays were themselves mathematically eliminated by the New York Yankees, who are loathsome, but for whom, on that day, Ichiro went seven for eight and had like four stolen bases and gave me feelings, a little, about the passage of time in the limited but non-trivial baseball sense. Anyway, all of that has been duly noted or mathematical elimination expert Raven Mack and I see no need to revisit that well-trod ground that sucks. 

Of course the most notable thing about the Blue Jays these days is not that they are out, because of course they are, but that they are apparently pretty soft on homophobic slurs written on eye-black by increasingly worthless shortstops. There is an argument that runs roughly that Spanish-speaking dudes use homophobic language on the reg so we shouldn't get too worked up about this, but I instead am of the opinion that Yunel Escobar is an idiot and should be driven into the sea.

KS 

mathematically eliminated #26 the Boston Red Sox

Congratulations KS the only guy who reads this blog, your Toronto Blue Jays today put a stake through the heart of this horrid Boston Red Sox season. The illustrious return of the overhyped Bobby Valentine, Josh Beckett being a proud beer-drinker and chicken-eater who refused to let go of his ways, the last great heroes of when the Red Sox became champions and made a million drunken Bostoners feel like life was not worth complaining about briefly - all of it down the drain. The Red Sox have crashed back upon the surface of their multi-generational reality, and now have to figure out a way to make themselves relevant again, last place in a division they briefly had an arms-and-bats race of highest monetary proportion with the Yankees, now overshadowed by not only the Rays but also the Orioles. I mean, really the Orioles? Oh well, not much else to say as it's football season already and who really gives a fuck about baseball outside of the four or five important games you glance at the scoreboard for when there's actual American football to play?

Catching Up With the Toronto Blue Jays, A Baseball Team That Sucks

uh oh

The Blue Jays have won four in a row, but it doesn't really feel that way. They dropped two out of three at home to the Orioles -- a team I have chosen not to believe in lest they overturn all that I have believed about run differential and all that flows from it since first reading Bill James so many years ago -- and the roof got stuck open and it rained on everybody (well, not everybody). The sweep in Boston that followed made for some excellent lazy afternoon radio, don't get me wrong, but man this season has been and continues to be a drag. 

I don't know man. I really don't know.

KS

Blue Jays 6, Red Sox 1; Blue Jays 7, Red Sox 3; Blue Jays 15, Red Sox 7: Such Brooms

a faceful of safe actually

Clearly invigorated by the dullest ten-player trade in major league history, Aaron Laffey and my man Carlos Villanueva put together straight-up heroic stars on Friday and Saturday nights to put the Blue Jays in position to sweep away the significantly hated Boston Red Sox today, and holy shit did they ever. I put the game on the radio walking home from the gym this afternoon thinking it would probably be the end of the second, maybe, but no, it was still the top of the bat-around five-run first, which saw Brett Lawrie put the first pitch of the ballgame out of the park, apparently (I mean, this is what they told me, and on the radio that is all I have to go on). Big ups, perhaps the biggest, to Alan Ashby, who found it within himself to call nonsense on the safety squeeze even when it works, even as part of a ridiculous five-run start to a game in a series the Blue Jays had already one; Ashby was like, it worked here, but it often doesn't, and I just don't like that play. Ashby.


All kinds of zany doings in this one, with basically a million dingers, including one from Rajai, which was cool because he also just totally lost a ball in the sun (it was scored a double because baseball is hopeless which is part of its appeal frankly). Just a great big sloppy mess of a great time, in short. I would like to note two things in closing, the first of which is that today is Dave Steib's birthday, and he was an enormous asshole with a great moustache and a filthy slider and one of the best pitchers of the 1980s and a guy who lost no-hitters in the ninth in consecutive starts in absurd circumstances so happy 55th; the second is that even though the internet tells me he does not regularly do this, I am certain that Red Sox shortstop Michael Anthony Avilés came to the plate to "Dance Yourself Clean." Or maybe they were playing it because of something else or something. But I know what I heard, and I liked it.

So yeah, a sweep in Boston, and we're back to a mere three games out of the Wild Card. I have become pretty sure that the Blue Jays are going to hover around .500 and totally dick with my head for the remainder of this 2012 season. It'll be OK.


KS

Red Sox 5, Blue Jays 1; Red Sox 10, Blue Jays 4: I totally got sneak-day-gamed today

what's up, sad guys?

I am an almost preternaturally with-it and together guy so imagine my surprised when I learned that a day game happened without my knowing about it even faintly. What did I miss? Ricky Romero getting absolutely pounded for only his second loss of the year, for starters. He has been less than himself for a while now so this is not shocking, but he really did get lit up, and lasted a few. However! E5 belted his twenty-second, and Jose Bautista his majors-leading twenty-fifth. Bautista, who is still only hitting .237, is now hovering around the AL top ten in OPS, because he is still walking a ton and yeah those homers but he is hitting like no doubles, which is really weird: he's at nine, and no triples, actually. So it is like, here is a dude with an OPS made up almost entirely of walks and home runs. The dream of the nineties!


Oh yeah the previous night the Blue Jays lost unremarkably by a score of 5-1, and I have no idea who is pitching any of the games until it's Romero again, honestly.


KS

Marlins 9, Blue Jays 0; Blue Jays 9, Red Sox 6: Et Tu, Henderson Alvarez?

lol seriously?

A 9-0 drubbing at the hands of the Marlins is obviously not great, but Jesse Chavez is not a dude who should really be pitching in the major leagues, and there he was starting, so what can you do? We do not have any guys. Further to that, young Henderson Alvarez left Monday night's game against the Red Sox with soreness in his elbow, making it I believe four starting pitchers pulled due to injury in the last two weeks. This is ridiculous, however, I have chosen to focus on the positive from last night: three dingers! Rasmus! Arencibia! Joseph Batts! Also I think it is kind of cool that the Blue Jays have signed 49-year-old Jamie Moyer who, honestly, could totally be a fit right now. In darker news, Adam Lind has been recalled after tearing it up in Triple A, but, I mean, he better have, and also it was Las Vegas. I don't know man. I do not know.


KS

Blue Jays 5, Red Sox 1: It is All Fun And Games Until E5 Gets Plunked on the Hands

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE 5

I should have been free to enjoy Daniel Bard's historically bad six-walk, two-hit-batsmen-in-less-than-two-innings outing -- the first since 1918! -- but I was not, exactly, because E5, who is a motherfucking monsters this year, got hit on the hands, which is the worst. Apparently he is making the trip to Chicago, though, and it is just all sore, rather than all injured, so there you go. Did you know that young Drew Hutchinson put in a fine seven-inning outing? And that, holy cow, Jose Bautista is up to fourteen dingers at this point despite still not really being himself? Mostly though I am glad that the sweep was averted because sweeps suck one's life force, a little.


KS

Red Sox 7, Blue Jays 4: It Was Sunny and I Fell Asleep Outside

 I don't know either

I heard the part where Colby Rasmus messed up on a ball hit straight at him, and also the part where Kyle Drabek stood around like a dink instead of backing up third on a ball ripped to the gap, but for much of the rest of this one I was asleep on the back deck, and not, like, in a chair on the back deck, but on the back deck, unmediated. So frankly I am limited in what I can tell you here other than that I had an awesome Saturday.


KS

Red Sox 7, Blue Jays 2: Hurry the Fuck Up, Clay Buchholz

this is actually an animated .gif

Getting beat, I can handle. But hurry the fuck up about it, Clay Buchholz. Hurry the fuck up.


KS

Blue Jays 3, Red Sox 1: A Crisp 3-1 Win on Getaway Day!

Ricky Romero: boss.

Ricky Romero was notably less a boss than usual in his Opening Day start in Cleveland, and he has actually never been that great against Boston, so it would have been reasonable to think that this might not be a day for him to shine, despite looking both so fresh and so clean in the basically perfect new Blue Jays alternate uniforms ("I love the depth of the blue," Alan Ashby said on the radio, and look at how right he is to have said that). But Ricky-Ro was just like, no big deal; here are 8 1/3 innings of three-hit ball; perhaps three will be walked, but five will be struck out. Bawse. Rajai Davis, who is fast as hell, tripled in Eric Thames in the third to even the score at one, came in on a Yunel Escobar sacrifice fly to put the Blue Jays in front, and Escobar brought Davis in with a single in the eighth to round out the scoring. Did I mention that Rajai stole second in that selfsame eighth? It would seem that I did not. Did I mention that he is fast as hell?  Oh OK I totally did; I can see where I already said that. Throw in a couple nice grabs from Brett Lawrie and Jose Bautista and a pleasantly uneventful appearance by Sergio Santos in relief, and what's not to like? 


Oh hey also: I would be remiss if I did not show you this, courtesy of the still undefeated Drunk Jays Fans, because it shows a young lady  trying to sexually humiliate a Boston Red Sox fan after Casey Janssen struck out Jared Saltalamacchia (spelled it right without even checking! it's just like how you say it!) on Tuesday night. In the .gif itself, you can't really see who her sexual ire is directed at, so you need this still for setup (the annotations here are not my own; again, all of this is from DJF; love them here):

And then you have this, in which the young man who seems to be accompanying this salty young lady offers an "all in good fun, bro, all in good fun" high five that is very much at odds with where the aforementioned salty young lady's head is at:

Pretty lurid!

Go Jays!


KS

Blue Jays 7, Red Sox 3: SMOKE MOTHERFUCKER YEAH

sometimes it gets in your eyes

Sure, Kyle Drabek threw too many balls on this night, and he walked three to go along with the three hits he allowed in his five-and-a-third innings pitched, but with only one run allowed against the presumably pretty able Boston lineup, I'm calling it: smoke. Big hits from Adam Lind, J. P. Arencibia, and nice nights from Yunel Escobar and E5 (a home run! and two stolen bases! Go, E5! Go!) made for awesome times, in this fan's view. 


Also, how rad is it to be able to send Jason Frasor out there for a sticky situation in the sixth inning? Last night's Santos meltdown aside, and Casey Janssen's slightly less than awesome ninth tonight, you have got to feel at least OK about this bullpen, under penalty of being wrong about this bullpen. 


Finally, I would like to note the crowd of 26 351, which is a pretty dang healthy number on what I came to call "Hardcore Opening Day" in my time in Toronto, because it's like, the only people who show up for the second game of the season are pretty serious, right? Everybody reasonable has already been to a game; that was yesterday. Game two is when you meet the people with whom you will be enjoying Tuesday nightsagainst Kansas City when it is raining. I mean, I was always there, and actually I preferred game two to the drunkfightcommotion of Opening Day proper. But there were times I'm sure it was no more than 12 000 for game two, however my scorekeeping book is in the next room and I am sitting unusually comfortably right now so I am unable to verify that for you at present. 


In summation: smoke.


KS


ps: also there was a streaker

what is this guy like eleven

Red Sox 4, Blue Jays 2: Thanks For That, Sergio Santos

You will never hear me complain about a roof, but the light is inarguably shitty in there.

Well that was a pretty funny looking save. After Henderson Alvarez -- a kind of anti-Brandon Morrow, in that you look at his stuff and you are like, "there is no way this guy ever records an out in the major leagues ever," and yet he throws strikes, doesn't walk anybody, and so is totally going to have a career out there -- allowed but a lone run in his six innings of totally credible work against the Red Sox, and we got solid innings from Francisco Cordero and Darren Oliver (have I mentioned that I love that we have that guy?), Santos put up this truly awful butt of a line: 


2/3 IP, 2H, 3 R, 3 ER, 3 BB, 1 K, 1 WP


What. The what. 


It all would have been a little better had Jose Bautista's throw to the plate been handled cleanly by our boy J. P. Arencibia, because the runner would have found himself totally Joey Bats'd had that happened because that guy has a cannon man a cannon, but I choose to put all of this squarely on Santos and no one else.


At least it all went down in front a sellout crowd of over 48 000! Had beer sales not been limited to one per customer per transaction up in the 500s, blood would have flown. 


Oh hey, returning to the subject of J. P. Arencibia for a sec, we all know and agree that he is, like, absurdly handsome, right? Do not act like you do not know this. I mean, gosh:

*swoon*

If you are a straight dude reading this, please do not be one of those straight dudes who is such a tool that he is like "oh really? I can't tell with guys." Shut up; yes you can; J. P. Arencibia is a beautiful man; you know this. Anyway, these young ladies know it, too (internet propers to the unstoppable Drunk Jays Fans):

I hear you ladies, I do. 

At DJF they named this file "dadmustbeproud," but I think this is just a couple of young ladies having good-natured fun with their sexuality and it is not to be feared or shamed in that way. I would remind the reader of our collective politics of sex-positive feminism here at Baseball Feelings.


Anyway, this game was the worst and I demand Santos be traded by daybreak. 


KS 

The Collapse of the Red Sox, As Explained By Taiwanese News Animation

sooo fat

It would be a stretch to say that this is the best thing to come out of Boston's historically awesome September collapse: that title would probably go to Red Sox majority owner John Henry's completely ill-advised impromptu appearance on Boston's 98.5, The Sports Hub. Have you seen this, have you heard about this? Henry had been driving around listening to a couple of sports radio guys pore over the Boston Globe's impressively thorough muckraking account of Red Sox Activities Unbecoming of Sportsmen, basically, and he'd had enough. Henry showed up at the station, and took the hosts to task for over an hour. For the most part, he was as composed and articulate as you would expect John Henry to be, but he also managed to make a pretty enormous ass of himself when the radio guys (who arguably have names, but whatever) suggested that all the money spent on player contracts last off-season was more about public relations than baseball operations, that those decisions were directed by ownership, not by the recently departed Theo Epstein. Henry said that was a crazy idea -- and he's right, it totally is -- but to show just how crazy an idea that was, he said that he "personally opposed" the Carl Crawford signing, for example. To which one can only lol. One can only lol.

So yeah, that's the best thing to come out of all of this, but this is probably second best:



KS

ZOMG THEO EPSTEIN TO THE CUBS!!!~~~

ZOMG

He will no doubt do a fine job.

Hasn't this Red Sox collapse been the best, though? The Boston Globe has a thoroughly indignant piece about it all as you might expect. In recent weeks there have in fact be several! However, what really makes this one is the following:

Boston’s three elite starters went soft, their pitching as anemic as their work ethic. The indifference of Beckett, Lester, and Lackey in a time of crisis can be seen in what team sources say became their habit of drinking beer, eating fast-food fried chicken, and playing video games in the clubhouse during games while their teammates tried to salvage a once-promising season.

Which is awesome.


KS

Blue Jays 7, Red Sox 4: Toronto Takes Three of Four from Boston; No Big Deal

Jays Win, I hear.

Last night, behind American League Pitcher of the Month Ricky Romero, it was kind of like, the future, maybe, a little? David Cooper, fresh off a Pacific Coast League batting title, had three hits and two doubles; Brett Lawrie doubled and continued to own; J. P. Arencibia hit yet another dinger; and Eric Thames put one out, too. These are young men barely out of boyhood, friends, and there they were, ripping it up against the mighty Boston Red Sox (let us not discuss who started for them last night, lest all of this seem way less impressive). And we're back to .500. Does that matter? Not really. But it feels good, man. Feels good.


KS

So Your Team's Not Going to the Playoffs

It's down to the home stretch of the season, and it's pretty clear at this point who's going on to the postseason, and who isn't. Odds are good that your team didn't make the cut. Perhaps you have no idea with whom to cast your rooting lot, and why. We here at Baseball Feelings are pleased to present you with a rooting guide for the postseason that goes beyond the standard "Just root against the Yankees and Phillies." (But not too far beyond that.)

If your eliminated team plays in the NL West: Root for the Brewers. The Brewers have a fun, old-school team of unapologetic mashers, and they've never won a World Series. Ever. They've only been to one, in fact. The year that they won the AMERICAN LEAGUE pennant. The Brewers have the best uniform in baseball, even if it's just their Friday home alternate throwback jersey. They have a bunch of guys that are totally worth rooting for (Prince Fielder, Ryan Braun, Casey McGehee, Corey Hart, John Axford), and probably the most polarizing dude in MLB, Nyjer "Tony Plush" Morgan. I love the guy, but I love most people in sports who are open, unapologetic pricks. Dude's hilarious. Seeing him freak out like in the above picture when he hits a seeing-eye single is a true joy. This is the Brewers best shot at grabbing a championship for the foreseeable future, and it's always fun to see a storied franchise win it all for the first time ever. If you need a further reason to root for them, there's this: when they went to Houston to play the Astros recently, the whole team dressed up like cowboys just to be dicks.

If your eliminated team plays in the NL East or NL Central: Root for the Diamondbacks. They're an exciting, fun young team that broke out at least a year ahead of schedule and is woefully unappreciated by a tepid fanbase that would rather boo Prince Fielder and kick all of the brown people out of their state than show up and root for their team. This is a team worth rooting for, but they're in the thick of a playoff-berth-clinching run of playing insanely good baseball, and they're playing it in front of half-empty crowds. Justin Upton is one of those rare dudes who keeps coming up in key situations, and you just KNOW he's launching a moonshot, or smashing a double off the wall to clear the bases. Paul Goldschmidt just showed up out of nowhere, fully formed as a dude who hits no-stride taters with terrifying frequency. It's really amazing what Kirk Gibson has been able to do with this team this year. Oh yeah, Kirk Gibson is the manager of the Diamondbacks. It's worth watching their games for no other reason than to see him hobble out to the mound on his peg legs for every pitching change.

If you can't get enough of the status quo: Root for the Phillies or the Braves. There's technically nothing wrong with either team, and they both have one or two players you can get behind (Roy Halladay and Freddie Freeman, for example). But there's nothing really exciting or inspiring about either team.

Dan Uggla hit like a maniac for thirty games and almost made people forget that he's not really a consistent hitter, is a nightmare at second base, and is definitely the type of dude who kisses his own biceps while flexing at the mirror nightly. The most exciting players on the Braves are their bullpen guys. They for some unknown reason stuck with Freeman all year while mishandling Jason Heyward worse than anyone not named "Brandon Belt." They've been in the playoffs every year you've been alive. Oh yeah, and their big rally starter is everyone in the stadium being as racist as they can in unison.

Over on the Phillies side, they're a Philadelphia team, with all that entails. They have a ridiculously good, highly-hyped pitching staff. They have Raul Ibanez and Shane Victorino, two of the most thoroughly unlikeable baseball players of our generation. And they've got Hunter Pence, the creepiest creep that ever crabwalked onto a baseball diamond.

If your eliminated team plays in the AL East: Root for the Texas Rangers. They made it to their first World Series last year, and have a stronger team this season that could take them all the way. Their single biggest weakness is their manager, Ron Washington, who seems to believe that shooting oneself in one's foot is a surefire way to keep the opposing team offguard. (It rarely works.)

If your eliminated team plays in the AL West: Root for the Detroit Tigers, if for no other reason than to show support for our own beloved Neil. They've got Justin Verlander, and he's the most exciting pitcher in the American League. Their best hitter likes to get loaded and make friends with cops. What's not to like?

If you have no particular rooting interest: Root for the Red Sox. They're a really fun team that just goes out and scores run after run after run until the other team is in tears. They've got three legitimate MVP candidates in their starting lineup every day. They signed a guy to a contract for a hundred years and a million billion dollars so they could bat him seventh in the lineup. That's some depth, bro. It's always fun to see the Red Sox win a World Series. Well, for now. Maybe if they win one or two more it will start getting old. But it's still fun for now!

If you're a Yankees fan: Root for the Yankees. That's the only reason to.

Red Sox 14, Blue Jays 0: Boston Batters Bag-of-Butts Blue Birds

I don't know if those sideburns are ironic or southern.

In case there was any doubt as to whether or not they could all be thrilling walk-off 1-0 games, this happened. Everybody was terrible. However! Dustin McGowan took the hill for the first time since utterly blowing his arm to bits three years ago, and we must salute his tenacity. For years now, the only time Dustin McGowan would enter my mind, really, was when I was playing baseball computer and video games (arguably the best kind of computer and video games) and there he'd always be, right in the middle of the rotation, and it was like, "Oh yeah, I suppose McGowan would be part of the rotation right now if he hadn't utterly blown his arm to bits. A shame, that." And then I would settle in and lose at my baseball computer or video game. But rarely by a score so disastrous as 14-0. (Although sometimes, yes.) 


KS

Tony LaRussa is a Terrible Person

Tony LaRussa signals for the rarely-used "double beanball."

In addition to my beloved Giants, I have been paying close attention to the NL Central race this season. The Reds, favorites to repeat as division champs, have fallen by the wayside, leaving a three-horse race between the lovable Milwaukee Brewers, the scandalous St. Louis "Yankees of the West" Cardinals, and the surprising feel-good story that is the Pittsburgh Pirates.

Although it does not seem as though the Pirates will truly be able to hang in this race, it has become vitally important that Tony "I Have Shingles" LaRussa's Redbirds do not advance to the playoffs. If it can't be the Pirates, I would love for it to be the Brewers that knocks them off their "perch" as it were. (birds) The Brewers and Cardinals went head to head over the past three days in a series that looks to have huge playoff ramifications.

Craig Calcaterra over at Hardball Talk has been breaking down the LaRussa news from the series extremely well, but I'd like to add my two cents on the matter.

To recap: last night's game went to extra innings. At one point, Pujols was up with two on and one out, and he leads the league in hitting into double plays. The Brewers pitcher accidentally plunked him, and LaRussa thought it was intentional. To "retaliate" he had his pitcher plunk Ryan Bruan to lead off the next inning. At a different point, Cards catcher Yadier Molina was called out on a close pitch and charged at the umpire, bumping him and covering him in spittle as he screamed at him in a display that would make any number of Alomars blush. At yet another point, Brewers fans were heckling LaRussa and one of them repeatedly yelled "I hope you get shingles again," which is hilarious but Tony felt it was over the line. As a show of gamesmanship, after the Cardinals won the extra-innings affair, LaRussa took the time to yell at and insult the fans behind the Cardinals dugout. What a leader!

Tony LaRussa has been labeled a "genius" by most baseball journalists. He's a "genius" in the sense that Phil Jackson is a "genius," which is to say that he's been fortunate enough to be the manager of teams with deep pockets, an embarrassment of talent, and well-stocked medicine cabinets. He piloted the juiced-to-the-gills Canseco/McGwire A's to three World Series in a row (and one title), then jumped to St. Louis, where the even-more-juiced McGwire revitalized baseball by having enormous forearms. He hung around until the Cardinals brought in a gigantic crop of mashers, and let the do-you-seriously-believe-he-isn't-on-the-gas Albert Pujols lead them to another couple World Series and another title.*

I'm not saying just anyone can have a pitcher bat in the eight-hole and let their chemical freaks pound on small-market teams, but LaRussa has a particular knack for it. He also has a knack for looking like a sore loser and taking himself too seriously at all times, even during victories.

Compounding the LaRussa problem is the fact that St. Louis fans have a reputati0n as being "the best fans in baseball" and have really let it go to their heads. Since about 2005, the Cardinals have slowly become the least likable team in baseball this side of the Yankess (and/or, depending on which side your bread is buttered, the Red Sox or Phillies). Even the contemptible Braves have a handful of people that are fun or worthy of rooting for. The Cardinals win with such a false veneer of "heh, had it all the way" that should only ever be present in the Bronx, and whine and cry whenever anything should dare not go their way. They even ran Colby Rasmus out of town on a rail when he (and his dad, to be fair) took umbrage with LaRussa or Cards brass, depending on which story your listening to.

But enough of me and my sour grapes. If the Diamondbacks sent a message in their "statement series" against the Giants, the Brewers unfurled a banner reading "HOW MY ASS TASTE" in twenty-foot-high letters and hoisted it above Miller Field this weekend. They lost a close game two, but came out swinging today, with Casey McGehee knocking three dingers and sent the Cards home in a huff. It was really, really awesome.

Lest I fail to mention it: not only did St. Louis send Rasmus packing before the trade deadline, but their big pickup was the .191-batting Rafael Furcal. That'll put butts in seats. You don't win titles with Furcals, QED.

* For the record, I don't think there's anything wrong with PEDs, and I don't think they should be illegal, and I certainly don't think any athlete should be vilified for using them. If you think there's any professional athlete out there who isn't using SOMETHING, you're nuts. The only thing that rankles me is that Pujols has this squeaky-clean rep and is supposedly universally beloved, but the dude strikes me as twice the asshole Bonds ever was. Anyway, juice away, dudes. Chicks love the longball.