Blue Jays 6, Rays 2: Call It What You Want, Girl; I'll Just Call It Smoke

"no no seriously it hit a thing and this place is a joke so it's a dinger man seriously"

Delighted though I am by Kyle Drabek's fairly rad six innings of three-hit ball, and cheered though I was by the Rays booting it around and pretty much giving this one away, all I can think about is how lame it was how amazingly lame it was when B. J. Upton hit one off just like a fuckin thing in the roof, like the bottom of a catwalk or something, and the ball fell to the ground in front of Rasmus in centre, and it was a home run, according the ground rules. What is this, Dusty Diamond's All-Star Softball? I don't think it is, because if it was, I would be finding this situation much more charming than I am presently. Also I would select "Diablo," because that kid could straight-up rake with that hell club thing he had.

Diablo knows only dingerz

KS

Blue Jays 8, Yankees 1: An Intoxicating Admixture of Dingerz and Smoke

yussssssss

Dingerz dung by: J. P. Arencibia, E5, Joseph Batstista, Kelly Johnson


Smoke thrown by: Kyle Drabek


Intoxicating admixture of the above imbibed by: your faithful correspondent


KS

Blue Jays 9, Orioles 2: Much, Much More Like It

yeah man just do this instead of trying to steal home on an 0-2 pitch
with two away and the bases loaded and Jose Bautista at the dish

Kyle Drabek, thrower of smoke! Brett Lawrie and E5, belters of dingers! Kevin Gregg, loathsome ex-Blue Jay who once exhibited both the audacity and the temerity to argue with Cito on-field after being pulled for being horrible, lit up for three runs as part of a seven-run bat-around sixth! Yes sir, this one pretty much had it all, if you are me. What's next for these first-place (also "these 5-4," but work with me here) Blue Jays, you ask? Well, first an off day, which is unacceptable, but after that it is the Rays for three! 


That could be neat!

KS

Blue Jays 7, Red Sox 3: SMOKE MOTHERFUCKER YEAH

sometimes it gets in your eyes

Sure, Kyle Drabek threw too many balls on this night, and he walked three to go along with the three hits he allowed in his five-and-a-third innings pitched, but with only one run allowed against the presumably pretty able Boston lineup, I'm calling it: smoke. Big hits from Adam Lind, J. P. Arencibia, and nice nights from Yunel Escobar and E5 (a home run! and two stolen bases! Go, E5! Go!) made for awesome times, in this fan's view. 


Also, how rad is it to be able to send Jason Frasor out there for a sticky situation in the sixth inning? Last night's Santos meltdown aside, and Casey Janssen's slightly less than awesome ninth tonight, you have got to feel at least OK about this bullpen, under penalty of being wrong about this bullpen. 


Finally, I would like to note the crowd of 26 351, which is a pretty dang healthy number on what I came to call "Hardcore Opening Day" in my time in Toronto, because it's like, the only people who show up for the second game of the season are pretty serious, right? Everybody reasonable has already been to a game; that was yesterday. Game two is when you meet the people with whom you will be enjoying Tuesday nightsagainst Kansas City when it is raining. I mean, I was always there, and actually I preferred game two to the drunkfightcommotion of Opening Day proper. But there were times I'm sure it was no more than 12 000 for game two, however my scorekeeping book is in the next room and I am sitting unusually comfortably right now so I am unable to verify that for you at present. 


In summation: smoke.


KS


ps: also there was a streaker

what is this guy like eleven

Blue Jays 8, Royals 5: SMOKE

Adam Lind: more coy than you might expect.

The first inning of last night's game against the Royals was just outstanding. Yunel Escobar led off the game with a single, which is not a surprise or anything, in that Escobar has been quietly excellent so far this season, so I'm not trying to make a big thing about Escobar getting on to start the game as thoughtthat's some sort of rarity. No. He is good; and I like him. But then, with Corey Patterson at the plate, Escobar ran. His plan? To steal second base, I think. But he achieved so much more. 


In a series of events that I'm not sure I have witnessed since little league -- when it happened pretty much every game, especially, though not exclusively, when I was catching -- Matt Treanor's throw to second skipped over the bag and rolled into centre. Escobar took off for third, and Melky Cabrera was like we'll see about this! and gunned it to third, except the throw was horrible, and it went to the screen, and Escobar scored on a stolen base and two throwing errors. Seriously: this is probably the single most common source of runs in little league baseball. Took me back, man. Took me back.


From there, all that was needed were home runs from Adam Lind and J. P. Arencibia (tenth of the season for both), and a strangely effective outing from Kyle Drabek despite allowing nine hits and a mere three walks over five and a third. He did not strike anybody out. He did, however, throw four -- four! -- wild pitches. This Kyle Drabek, ladies and gentlemen, is a character.


KS

Blue Jays 4, White Sox 2: . . . And You Shall Know Him by The Trail of Smoke

Juan Pierre: still little after all these years.

I opted for the "Trail of Smoke" headline because the National Post had already taken "Blue Jays Bail Out Drabek's Walkathon." Both are true, in that yes, Kyle Drabek continues to walk a ton of dudes -- five more last night in six-and-two-thirds, including a bases-loaded walk in a forty-two-pitch fifth that could have been way worse than just one run in were it not for the smoke he threw to get out of it. See? 


This game was pretty rad for a couple of other reasons, too, including not one but two triples (Juan Pierre, Rajai Davis) and two pretty snazzy grabs by Corey Patterson in the second, one at the wall and one coming in. The Rajai Davis/Jose Molina (yeah, Jose Molina) double steal was pretty choice, coming as it did only a day after my recent freakout  re: baserunning heroics. Also let it be said for the millionth time that Mark Buerhle works superfast out there, and it is a pleasure, Mark Buerhle, a pleasure. Good game, White Sox, good game! It is really too bad Gordon Beckham got hit in the face with a one-hop throw from the outfield. 


Finally, it has come to my attention that the Boston Red Sox are now in first place in the AL East, and the Yankees are currently atop the AL Wild Card standings. This goes without saying, but I wish nothing but horrible misfortune and the most shameful losses on both.


KS   

Astros 3, Blue Jays 2: When smoke is not enough.

 

I got it, bro; NO, I GOT IT BRO; no, I got it, bro, NO, I GOT IT, BRO; no . . . 

Sure we're down 3-2 with two out in the bottom of the ninth, but Yunel Escobar just legged out an infield single despite being improbably slow for a middle infielder! And woah, Corey Patterson just doubled! That's two runners in scoring position for Jose Bautista! The best hitter in all of baseball strides to the plate with a chance to win it! Surely he will seize this moment to oh wait they walked him and Aaron Hill just rolled one to third to end it. I see.


The Astros are really, really awful but the Blue Jays managed to drop two out of three to them this weekend, which, to be honest, I did not enjoy. Drabek gave up three runs on eight hits and three walks in six innings, which is totally fine for right now. He touched 96 MPH on the gun with The Walrus at the dish but it was a fastball that ran in for ball four so you can't really take that as a win. But hey, three walks in six innings is a step in the right direction (still totally leading the league).


And so the Blue Jays hit New York a mere two-and-a-half games back of the Yankees and Rays, needing only a sweep to probably take over either the division lead or the wild card, maybe. Had I mentioned previously that Jesse Litsch is on the DL and Carlos Villenueva gets his start? I don't know, man, I do not know.


KS

Blue Jays 4, Tigers 2: Playoffs.

You know what he's throwin'.

The part of me that is wrong and unfair was about to say that Kyle Drabek is still walking pretty much everybody, but the part of me that is decent and just intervened and pointed out that it is kind of jerk move to say "still" about a guy who is twenty-three and has started but twelve games in his young career. So instead I will say that Drabek walked six more last night, but add that his ability to battle back out of pretty awful situations -- and let's say it is an ability, rather than just a thing that is happening -- saw him through seven innings of three-hit, one-run baseball last night. Was smoke thrown? Intermittently, yes. It was hardly his best start in terms of command and control, but one run over seven is pretty rad when you don't have your best stuff. The Tigers' Max Scherzer kind of had an odd outing, too: eight hits over seven innings and just the one run, an unearned one at that? Strange game.


After Drabek worked his way out of what could have been a pretty disastrous first -- bases loaded, nobody out, Miguel Cabrera at the dish -- allowing only one run, there wasn't any scoring until the Blue Jays eked out a run in the seventh and then tacked on a couple in the eighth. The biggest blow in the eighth was the Aaron Hill double, which was like, dang, Aaron Hill, I forgot about you, girl. Remember how it looked like we were set at second base for the foreseeable future with a perennial All-Star flashing the leather and hitting mad dingers? Instead we have a guy whose team options are about to be not picked up with extreme prejudice. It is saddening. 


Anyway, Frank Francisco did his best to blow it in the ninth, giving up a pretty serious home run to Jhonny Peralta (way to spell out there, Jhonny), a walk, a fly ball to left that would have gone out of literally any other park, and a line drive to Jose Bautista to end it.


Speaking of Jose Bautista, let's! Did anybody else notice the Dave Cameron article that went up at Fangraphs yesterday, the one called "Jose Bautista Is A Massive Bargain"? Totally worth a read, if that was something that you did not already know and appreciate. Cameron concludes:


 "Combined with dumping the Vernon Wells contract, it’s probably fair to say that Anthopolous created something like $150 million in surplus value for his club this winter. I doubt any GM has ever had a better off-season than than the one the Blue Jays young GM just had."


I'm not even going to comment on that. 


I will note, tough, that after last night's relatively modest 2-5, this is where Jose Bautista stands right now: .370/.516/.849/1.365 with 16 HR and 35 BB against 19K. All of that leads the league, except for the strikeouts (he's tied for 94th). He is also now a 4.0WAR player on the season. It is May 17th.


And hey, three-way tie for second in the AL East! Three games out of first, and only a game back for the wild card! And you're always exactly how good you look during a six-game winning streak, right? 


KS

22-19

Blue Jays 11, Twins 3: First things first, Jose Bautista will eat your brains.

Gossip, gossip, haters just stop it.

It has been clear for some time now that were one to describe Jose Bautista's season through analogy to a single selection from the Kanye West oeuvre, it would be "Monster," in that everyone knows that he is one. However, this five home run weekend against the Twins -- three of them coming in yesterday's blowout -- specifically situates Bautista in the Nicki Minaj verse, because it, like Jose Bautista right now, is totally the most monstrous. Pink wig; thick ass; give 'em whiplash. This is what is happening. This is what is going on. I cannot believe it.


Bautista's first home run of the day was a legitimately towering blast off Brian Duensing in the third that landed just shy of the upper deck. His liner to the corner off Slowey in the next inning was comparatively modest, but the ridiculous opposite-field shot that came when Slowey pretty sensibly tried to go down and away in the sixth made up for that. The whole thing was beyond bananas. It was . . . one time I was in the sometimes alarmingly awesome Suspect Video on Markham St. and I asked the fairly icy girl behind the counter which particular noise rock band we were all listening to at an uncomfortable volume that day and she said all quietly "unsane" and I was like "sorry what was that?" because the music was way to loud and so to be properly heard above the din she leans forward a little bit and goes "UNSANE." Jose Bautista right now is UNSANE.


Other, less amazing things happened yesterday, too: Brandon Morrow struck out five his first time through the order, but then fizzled a little and ended the day allowing three runs, all of them earned, in five innings of work. The guy throws a ton of pitches, and he just doesn't go that deep into games. Such stuff, though; such stuff. Also, and this is not important and maybe not even interesting, but I could not help but notice that every Blue Jay in the starting lineup got a hit yesterday except for Rivera and E5, who combined to go 0-10. One of those players I continue to hate; the other I blame for nothing. 


Anyway, the Twins are surprisingly awful, and unlike the last time the Blue Jays played a truly awful team (what's up, Seattle?), they actually managed to, you know, win some of the games, which was totally a plus from this fan's perspective. With this five-game winning streak, the Blue Jays are now back to .500 at 20W-20L, three games back of the AL East-leading Rays (boy that just kind of happened, didn't it?). The three games back part of things, that doesn't matter so much; that cannot and will not hold. But I'm really hoping the .500 part of it sticks around. It's really all I ask in this, another non-contending year: just be around .500, preferably a couple of games to the good, and everything is lovely. Because while I know it's all about the future, all about 2012 and 2013, I've still got to watch the games, and there is only so much I can take. Just be .500, with Jose Bautista running away with the AL MVP. Surely that is not too much to ask?  


A couple more things. First, longtime Blue Jays radio man Jerry Howarth gave a great interview on CBC Radio 1's Sunday Edition with Michael Enright yesterday, and you can listen to that here if you are so inclined. Note that Michael Enright looks like this. Secondly, and almost finally, whenever a three home run game happens, I can't help but think about how Carlos Delgado totally hit four, and that I was there when he did. That and related Carlos feelings are, of course, compiled here. He is my favourite player and he had just retired so things get pretty badly out of hand there.


In closing I would ask Neil to ready himself for the smoke that is about to be thrown upon him as the Blue Jays open up in Detroit tonight and Kyle Drabek takes the hill. You should steel yourself, probably.


KS

Rays 3, Blue Jays 1: It doesn't matter.

It does not even.

It doesn't matter that Kyle Drabek threw some measure of smoke yesterday, because David Price was on the hill for the Rays, and David Price always beats the Blue Jays. It doesn't even matter.


KS

Blue Jays 3, Rays 2: When Brandon Morrow Touches 98 MPH on The Gun, Something Touches The Front of My Pants (From The Inside)

Joe Maddon: gone, but not alone in goneness.

Kind of a weird one! John Farrell got tossed after mildly objecting to the location of a close pitch in the seventh, Joe Maddon got ejected before he could even really get heated up over a call at first that got reversed in the same inning (all coming off a truly miserable throw from E5, by the way), and B. J. Upton . . . well, he totally got his money's worth: tossed, but only after flipping out at home-plate umpire Chad Fairchild about some truly funny looking strikes. It did not take much of a lipreader to figure out Upton's grievance: "That was horseshit. That was horseshit, and you know it was horseshit." That could well be, but I still think he'll get suspended. 


But for all those shenanigans, let us not lose sight of what is truly important here: Adam Lind continues to rake (4-4 with a HR), Brandon Morrow pitched into the seventh and only allowed one run (5H, 4BB, 7K), and Juan Rivera -- Juan Rivera -- made a great play on a ball that got stuck in the base of the wall in left, gunning it into Escobar, who in turn threw a nice little one-hopper that Molina handled beautifully, blocking the plate to get the always-awesome Johnny Damon at the dish. Note that I still hate Juan Rivera, but also note that that was tight.   


Kyle Drabek goes tomorrow, and if he can keep from walking everybody, I like our chances.


KS

Yankees 5, Blue Jays 4: It is Wrong of Me to Always Expect Kyle Drabek to Throw Smoke

Rajai Davis, a guy who just got picked off.

Kyle Drabek didn't have it at all yesterday, and didn't even make it out of third inning. Against all odds, however, this game ended up being kind of a honey anyway. Drabek's five runs in two-and-a-third is actually kind of a miracle, in that he gave up seven hits and four walks (league leader, baby!) and just looked awful. It could have been much worse. Some close calls went against him, but that's the way it goes when you're a rookie starter and you're facing a team of rad veterans. This is unjust, but it is also fine. The bullpen, once again, was great: Frasor (in the third? how the relatively mighty have fallen a little), Camp, Rzepczynski, and Francisco combined to allow no hits and only two base runners the rest of the way, which put the Blue Jays in a position to beg, borrow and steal their way back into it. 


On the stealing, actually: stop it. This is crazy. Dudes are getting picked off constantly, and if I see another inning end on a strike-'em-out-throw-'em-out at third base I am going to keep on making frustrated noises at the radio and, later, highlights on my computer. And you don't want that.


To the bats, then: things started well enough on the day with Rajai Davis' lead-off triple, which is actually way better than a lead-off home run from an aesthetic perspective. In the second, Juan Rivera extended his hitting streak to nine but I hate him anyway. Bautista, also an object of hate but not from me, ripped a double and stole third, which owned. Then, and most notably, I think, Mike McCoy (who is only as God made him) decided to get all awesome, hitting his first career home run in the fifth, and making a ludicrous catch in the seventh to start an inning-ending double play. But his newfound awesomeness failed him in the top of the ninth, alas, as Mariano Rivera compelled him to fly out weakly to Nick Swisher, leaving the potential game-tying run at second (Jose Molina doubled after an eight-pitch at bat -- what the H?).


In closing I would like to mention that I accidentally turned the game on to the Spanish feed, and you would not believe how excited the play-by-play guy was. I thought something truly astonishing must have happened, so I quickly switched things over to find out, and it turned out Bautista had made a nice throw to the plate to hold a runner at third. That's it. But you'd have thought he'd thrown three guys out and delivered a baby. It was wild.


KS 

Blue Jays 6, Rangers 4: Kyle Drabek: Thrower of Smoke

Oh yeah right, Corey Patterson

You might well recall that as recently as yesterday I noted (complained about, almost) the Blue Jays' utter inability to get men on base for Jose Bautista. Over the course of eleven consecutive plate appearances in which, much to the chagrin of haters, Bautista reached base safely, not once did he bat with a man on base. This frustrating trend continued last night, except not really, in that the reason Bautista came to the plate with the bases empty in the fifth was that Corey Patterson had just hit a three-run home run, the first of three the Blue Jays hit that inning. Bautista, naturally, hit the second (a high, majestic drive, as Jerry Howarth was right to point out), and Juan Rivera, of all people, hit an opposite-field shot later in the bat-around inning. This changes everything, in that Rivera looks like he's starting to come out of it, and yet nothing, in that I still hate him.


The other story on the night is of course Kyle Drabek's continued insistence on smoke, and, more specifically, the throwing of it. Three runs over six innings from the rookie starter? Yeah, I will take that literally every time. He's 2-0 with a 3.30 ERA in 30 innings. He is awesome.


KS 

Blue Jays 6, Yankees 5 (F/10): YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH

Travis Snider and Ricky Romero share . . . A Moment.

When both Yunel Escobar and Travis Snider struck out with the bases loaded in the sixth inning, I was of the opinion that this game sucked. Snider seemed to agree, too, as he indicated by snapping his bat over his knee à la mode de Bo.  But we were both wrong, as it turned out, because we had failed to allow for a triumphant comeback in the bottom of the ninth against Mariano Rivera, the greatest closer in the history of baseball, no big deal. 


Down by two, Escobar led off the ninth with a ringing double, and after a Snider ground-out moved him to third, he scored on a wild pitch as the Yankees did their best to pitch around Jose Bautista (they were right to want no part of him after his earlier rocket of a home run to left in a decisive blow against the haters, as I see it). Bautista went first to third on an Adam Lind single, setting the stage for a squeeze play to tie it in the bottom of the ninth against Mariano Rivera. It was at least as cool as that sounds, too: John MacDonald managed a perfect bunt down the line towards first on a tricky high pitch, and Bautista darted home on the safety squeeze, beating the tag after Texeira's fine play and flip to home. 


Jon Rauch wasn't all that hot in the top of the tenth, walking two, but no real damage was done, so who am I to complain? Rivera understandably did not come back out to work the tenth -- he was lucky Eric Chavez was able to go 5-3 for a slick double play to end the ninth -- so it was Ivan Nova who gave up the leadoff single to E5, the selfsame E5 who, two outs later, would race home on a Travis Snider shot to the wall to win it.  Full game highlights are here, and you really should click them, on account of the extent to which they own (that extent, for the record, is  so hard).


An almost perfect night! Did Kyle Drabek throw smoke? Alas, he did not. Did A. J. Burnett fail utterly? Tragically, no. But those few shortcomings aside, this was a hell of a game. 


KS

Red Sox 9, Blue Jays 1: That road trip was the worst.

Dice-K is 7-1 against the Blue Jays in his career. Which is just great.

Do not mistake my lack of a timely post on yesterday afternoon's game for a lack of hating it. In truth, I only caught a couple innings, and so my misery was shorter lived than that of the Blue Jays themselves, who were made to look foolish against a pitcher who, for several seasons now, hasn't beaten any teams other than the Blue Jays. Why bother? Just pace yourself against everybody else, Daisuke, get your work in, and then just let it rip against the Blue Jays and pitch seven innings of one-hitter. I see no problem with this approach other than that it is the worst. This whole road trip was a debacle, every bit the debacle implied by the 3-7 record. But at least we're only three games back of the Yankees, who are town for a quick two-game set, and tonight there is the very real possibility that Kyle Drabek will throw smoke, which I am very much looking forward to. And if we sweep, we're only a game back! 


Hey also, did you notice that with Frank Francisco coming back from the DL, it was Jesse Litsch that got sent down, not Jo-Jo? Isn't that wild? 


KS

Blue Jays 8, Mariners 3: It's About Damn Time

Jose Bautista (left) seconds before being hellaciously bagtagged by Yunel Escobar (right)

After seven innings of making Jason Vargas look like Cy Young, the Blue Jays totally got a hold of the Mariners bullpen in a bat-around eighth that put six runs on the board, three of them coming by way of a Jose Bautista home run that owned particularly hard. (Strangely, for all that Bautista has been a beast thus far [1.125 OPS, haters], he'd only knocked in two runs, both on solo home runs, before the three-run shot today.) 


The Blue Jays went with their B roster today, really, but pretty much everybody ended up with at least a hit, except for John MacDonald, who we do not ask or expect to hit, and Juan Rivera, who can't be gotten rid of quickly enough to suit me. Top of the sixth, he grounds to short, and  he just kind of lopes out of the box until the short stop bobbles it, and so he gets his oh shit run on, and then the throw still beats him by a step. Which is all utter nonsense. I totally get that it's a 162-game season, and it's a grind, and there are going to be times in August when you're hurt and it's hot and you're playing a day game after a night game and they've started testing for amphetamines now and there's just no way you're going to be able to bust it down the line on every single routine play. I get all of that. But today, it's April, and god damn it, you're Juan Rivera, which is to say you've earned nothing. You are the fourth outfielder on a third-place team at best. My wife has never heard of you, bro. Run, Juan. Run.  


Unfortunately for Kyle Drabek, all of this happened too late to get him the win, but he had another solid start, giving up two earned runs in five and two-thirds. He picked Ryan Langerhans off first, too, which was pretty tight. 


And so farewell for now, Seattle: I admire your beautiful ballpark, and have long felt a fondness for you in your capacity as the Blue Jays' 1977 expansion cousins. Also it was awesome how Ken Griffey Jr. played for you, because that guy was amazing. But I kind of can't believe we dropped two of three to you just now, because this year you are an awful, awful baseball team.

Only five-and-a-half months to go, bro, stay strong.

KS