Brewers 9, Cardinals 6: That Six-Run Fifth Was Bananas

As hard as baseballs get hit, ever.

Much is rightly made of the Milwaukee crowd. They're crazy loud, for starters, and there are a lot of them, and both of those things are excellent, but what gets me is, who tailgates baseball at all, let alone with the single-minded intensity of Brewers fans? "The grills were smokin'," Bob Uecker reported about yesterday's pregame festivities. I bet! Sausages are the best.


I'll tell you who was not the best, at least not yesterday, was Zack Greinke, who recently denounced Chris Carpenter as "phony," which is pretty cold: six runs on eight hits and couple of walks in six innings is rarely going to get it done. Fortunately for him, though, Ryan Braun hit one out in the first -- Jaime Garcia responded by putting Prince Fielder on his considerable ass, although I can totally buy that it wasn't intentional, given that he was wild that entire inning -- and then the fifth inning was, as I may have already mentioned, bananas. If you haven't seen it, or if you have seen it, but without the accompaniment of Bob Uecker, you really should click here. Our highlight joins the inning already well under way, after a Cory Hart single and a double from Jerry Hairston; you'll see and hear the TBS call of Ryan Braun's ground rule double (what a crazy bounce!). Then you will hear Bob Uecker call Prince Fielder's two-run, Delgado-esque lined shot that leaves the ballpark as quickly as a baseball can do anything at all, really, and what I really love about the clip is not just how worked up Uecker gets, nor how worked up Fielder is as he crosses the plate and plays to the crowd and his teammates; the best part is just after that, when he's walking towards the end of the dugout, nobody else around him, and he's still completely riled up, as though all that other stuff he's done was for show, and now that he's alone he can really let go. Also stay tuned for Ueck's call of Yuniesky Betancourt's two run dinger: "HERE COMES YUNI BEEEEEEEEEE!" You will note that the mighty wallop was struck off of the hangingest breaking ball anyone has ever seen not just from Octavio "Don't Ask" Dotel, but, like, ever, as in ever ever.    


Despite the bananity of all of that, it could very well have been for naught, as Albert Pujols came up with two on and nobody out in the seventh. That he grounded into a classic, around-the-horn 5-4-3 double play to plate a run but end the threat of the big inning, was legitimately surprising to me, as I figured he would have launched one, you know? Since he is arguably the greatest right-handed hitter since Hank Greenberg? But double play ground balls happen, man, they just happen. What can be done? Here's a photograph of Albert Pujols from yesterday that I like -- it's not the double play ball; it's his single in the first, but here it is all the same:

I am all about pictures at the plate where you see the batter, catcher, and umpire all looking in exactly the same direction for a second. I can't say why. Also I am all about yesterday's game, and in this case I can say why: it is because it was so awesome and exciting.


KS

Cardinals 5, Phillies 4: Kind of A Hell of A Game, Actually

yer out

Stake Cliff Lee to a four-run lead early, and you're good to go, right? Apparently not so! The Cardinals put together a three-run fourth that ended with Jon Jay tagged out at the plate, gunned down, as they say, by Raul Ibanez to much bellowing of "Rauuuuuuuuuuuul." Or were they saying "Ruuuuuuuuiz?" As you can infer from the above photograph, it's kind of amazing Carlos held on, really. Jay brought the Cardinals even in the sixth, knocking in Theriot, and then in the seventh Pujols brought in the winning run. Notably, the win went to Octavio "Don't Ask" Dotel, who was repealed in the eighth in favour of Mark Rzepcynski; both of these fine gentlemen, as you will no doubt recall, were until quite recently members of your (which is to say "my") Toronto Blue Jays, and so are of particular interest go me. Good job, fellows! Also, the ESPN Radio broadcast kept talking about how Chris Carpenter was picked up for nothing after the Blue Jays decided to be dumb. That's totally what happened! I remember that vividly!


Also, and in closing, I hate Tony LaRussa, because he is literally the worst.


KS

Orioles 12, Blue Jays 4: But What Really Matters Here is that Alex Anthopolous is Still Totally a Ninja

Yikes.

It was unfortunate that the Blue Jays' streak of seven straight wins in games started by Brandon Morrow came to a crashing halt against the lowly Baltimore Orioles last night, but what was really worrying was the 0-2 fastball that drilled Jose Bautista in the head and put him out of the game. Seriously, it sucked, but he was back in the lineup Wednesday night, so in the end, no big deal.


The three-way deal that landed Colby Rasmus in Toronto, however, is totally a big deal. The particulars:

To the Blue Jays: Colby Rasmus, Trevor Miller, Brian Tallet, P. J. Walters, and Mark Teahen.
To the Cardinals: Edwin Jackson, Corey Patterson, Mark Rzepcynski, Octavio "Don't Ask" Dotel, and three players to be named later (or cash)
To the White Sox: Jason Frasor, Zach Stewart 

My first reaction to this trade was "oh man awesome," and I have yet to see anyone suggest that this was anything but an excellent deal for the Blue Jays, another totally solid Alex Anthopolous move. "Worst Trade Ever! Cardinals Send Colby Rasmus to Toronto for Spare Parts," writes Aaron Schafer of the Riverfront Times. Keith Law, to whom I look for guidance in all such times of change, said on the Baseball Today Podcast today that this is a horrible long term move for the Cardinals, sacrificing a potential star player (who is already not exactly bad) for a better rotation this year (he was on the Fan590 today, too). But you can kind of see why that might be: this could very well be their last season of Albert Pujols, so you go all-in to win your not-so-s-hot division and make this a championship year regardless of what this does to your team in the medium-to-long term. Also apparently Tony LaRussa doesn't like Rasmus, who is probably a bit of a jerk with a loudmouth dad who is probably an even bigger jerk, but Law was like, Tony LaRussa isn't exactly a part of the long-term future of the club either, so who cares? As has been pointed out at Drunk Jays Fans, the Blue Jays are clearly not averse to picking up players with lousy reputations: Escobar, Morrow, Lawrie. It's a chance to get potential star players on the cheap, basically. All reports are that Lawrie is no longer a dick; Bautista has by all accounts straightened out Escobar; and I actually didn't know Morrow had a bad reputation until like a minute ago.


What did the Blue Jays give up? Chiefly Zach Stewart, whom Baseball America has rated as Toronto's sixth-best prospect, and whom Keith Law thinks could be a number two or number three big-league starter someday (though he is by his own admission a Zach Stewart optimist). Beyond that, it's Corey Patterson, who is pretty terrible, Rzepcynski and "Don't Ask" Dotel, who are both serviceable bullpen arms (and Scrabble is maybe a fifth starter), and Jason Frasor, who if I'm remembering this right is the longest-serving Blue Jay and a guy who was on the cusp of setting the all-time Blue Jays record for appearances. I am fond of Frasor, but he is another pretty basic bullpen guy, you know? And in return, they get Rasmus, who will be the everyday centre fielder immediately and who has the potential to be at least pretty good for a pretty long time for basically no money; Mark Teahen, who is a Moneyball guy who is a total bust; and a bunch of bullpen arms. I am not going to pretend to know anything about P. J. Walters, but Trevor Miller we've seen before, as we have Brian Tallett, regrettably:

But whatever, man, I will take it. I can't see this as anything other than another good move from Alex Anthopolous, and one that nobody saw coming. This Alex Anthopolous is my kind of guy to the extent that he is making things happen, and those things that he is making happen are awesome.


KS

Blue Jays 9, Royals 8: It Breaks My Heart That This Ended Up A Squeaker

Your worst nightmare. 

So, yeah, you can -- and indeed probably should -- intentionally walk Jose Bautista if he comes up with runners on second and third with two away in the sixth in a one-run game, Kansas City Royals. I totally get that, Kansas City Royals. The only way that could possibly backfire is if Adam Lind were to, I don't know, launch a grand slam to right centre or something, Kansas City Royals.


Oooooooooooooh shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit, Kansas City Royals.


As it turned out, the Blue Jays needed every one of those runs, too. Carlos Villanueva went seven strong, and let it be said that this is all way more than I expected out of Villanueva when he took over Jesse Litsch's spot when Litsch hit the DL. He has been solid. It is genuinely painful to me, though, that the bullpen is struggling like this. It's not safe to go to bed; you've pretty much got to stay up. Rzepcynski, "Don't Ask" Dotel, and Janssen all got touched up. I don't like this.


In other news Jayson Nix, of all people, hit a three-run shot! More of that, less of these bullpen shenanigans, fellows, please.


KS 

Blue Jays 7, Astros 5: Our Long National 0-8 Nightmare is Over

Breaking ball imo.

Imagine, if you will, that you are Houston Astros' right-hander Brett Myers. You are a major league baseball player, so your life should be a good one, but you pitch for the Astros, so instead it is misery. But not today: today, the offense has staked you to a 4-0 lead, and you have held the hometown Blue Jays off the board into the sixth inning. Sure, Jose Molina has just led off with a solid single up the middle, but you've got just the thing for that: you will compel Yunel Escobar to ground crisply to short, a perfect double play ball! And you actually manage to do it! But on this day, the usually sure-handed Clint Barmes forgets to shut the barm door, and it goes right through the wickets (this is not a mixed metaphor it is all literally true), and now you've got two on and oh shit that's Jose Bautista isn't it? 


Now open your eyes (I asked you to close them, right?). You are not Houston Astros' right-hander Brett Myers. Brett Myers is Houston Astros right-hander Brett Myers. But aside from that single detail, everything else that has just been imagined is all too real.


Bautista hit a three-run home run in the sixth and added a solo shot in the eighth -- and let us not overlook Escobar's blast in the seventh -- as the Blue Jays overcame some fair-to-moderate shakiness from Brendan Morrow and pulled this one out late. It was awesome. Jon Rauch did his best to blow it again but Ocatavio "Don't Ask" Dotel closed it out and I thank him for that; that's real to me. Coming into the game, Bautista was mired in his worst slump of the season, I think, 0-8 with a walk in there somewhere. But yesterday he came out clean shaven, perhaps in the interest of slump busting, and he went 3-4 with a single, those two home runs, 4 RBI, a stolen base, and he threw a dude out at third. Was the dude fat? Sure: it was Carlos Lee, who is listed at 6'2", 265 lbs. Was he probably actually safe? Absolutely. But whatever, Jose Bautista owns. That's 4.3 WAR on the season now, for those of you who are (sabermetrically) scoring at home. Also his beard was mostly back by the third.  


This is in all likelihood the only time I will be able to say this all season, so I'm just going to go ahead and say it: the Blue Jays are actually the hottest team in baseball right now, with eight wins in their last ten. They're only a-game-and-a-half back in both the division and the wild card. Playoffs? Almost a certainty. Almost.


KS 

Tigers 10, Blue Jays 5: Toronto I Love You, But You're Bringing Me Down

Brandon Morrow, throwing up a little.

You see 10-5, and you think, hey, a wacky shootout! No. This sucked and was never close after the fourth.


The Blue Jays went up in the first when Jose Bautista plated Corey Patterson on a double and then scurried to third on the throw home -- Jose Bautista is the best, by the way -- and added another run on a Yunel Escobar solo shot in the third. Everything was cool. But then Brandon Morrow got into trouble in the fourth, and with his velocity and arm angle both getting kind of weird, according to manager John Farrell, out came the early hook with two runs already in and the bases loaded. Morrow obviously wasn't wild about getting pulled that early, nor should he have been, but at least he didn't Kevin Gregg his way off the mound (cursing the hook that came from without rather than coming to terms with the hook that dwelt within). Shawn Camp, who has been excellent thus far, allowed all three of those runs to score and threw another one of his own in there for good measure.


It was grim, so with the score 6-2, I decided I would take a break from the action, set my soul at ease with slow songs on the piano, and come back a few innings later when hopefully the Blue Jays had made a game of it, and watch the dramatic conclusion. Except when I came back it was 10-2, because Octavio "Don't Ask" Dotel got ripped in the seventh. I didn't even stick around for the Blue Jays' three runs in the bottom of the ninth. Because who could care.


This team is awful right now, just absolutely brutal. This is a shit-storm with, like, gale-force shit winds; better haul the jib in, lest it grow shittier still. And yet there's Jose Bautista, being utterly amazing despite the futility (and haters) around him, as dialed-in as any hitter I have seen since Barry Bonds retired. Can this last a whole season? Almost certainly not. But Baseball Reference has him as a 3.1 WAR player through twenty-six games this season. And it totally feels that way. This is insane.  


I would like to clumsily add, before bidding the Tigers adieu, that I heard on the radio that the only Detroit Tiger other than Justin Verlander to have two no-hitters is the impeccably named Virgil Trucks, who pitched both in the 1952 season, a year he finished with a 5-19 record. Baseball, man. There is nothing else even a little bit like it.


KS
   

Blue Jays 5, Yankees 3: Ricky Romero, Yankee Killer

On the whole, the night went way better than you would think from this picture. 

I am not about to look this up, but it seems to me Ricky Romero has pitched some pretty great games against the New York Yankees, and if we assume that that impression is accurate, then we can add last night's solid outing to that list of things that might have happened. Two runs over six innings with seven strikeouts? I will take that literally every time. And the way he worked out of a bases-loaded, nobody-out jam in the fifth, forcing a weak Teixeira pop-up to short and getting Alex Rodriguez to ground into a 6-4-3 double, that was roughly as tremendous as it was improbable. He was also nearly murdered (well, man-slaughtered, I guess) by a Teixeira liner but made the grab. Casey Janssen got into trouble with walks to Gardner and Teixeira in the seventh, but struck out A-Rod to end the inning, so all was immediately forgiven. Did I love it when Octavio "Don't Ask" Dotel walked two more in the eighth? Of course not, no, but he did strike out Jeter in a key at-bat before Jon Rauch came in and got the final four outs on eight pitches. That I loved.  


And perhaps you noticed that Jose Bautista belted his league-leading ninth home run last night, curling it around the pole in left in such a way that it afforded the haters just enough time to will it foul before their hateful hopes were dashed against the shores of the extent to which Baustista rakes? That's something I noticed. I also noticed that, for the second game in a row, Bautista made a baserunning error that produced a run. That is when you know everything is clicking. Here's what happened this time: with Rajai Davis on third (he'd stolen it like it wasn't even a thing that was hard to do), and Rivera batting, Bautista took off from first early, just basically screwing up the old ohshitthrowittosecond--nowaitshitthrowithome play that the Blue Jays are apparently sticking with.  But Yankee reliever David Robertson botched the throw, Bautista was safe, and Davis scored easily. When Rivera singled to left, Bautista pushed his luck further by trying to score. The throw totally beat him, but he managed to evade the tag with either the best or worst slide I have ever seen (I am still trying to come to terms with it). May I add that Bautista is currently rocking a .372/.542/.795/1.337 with 9 home runs, 28 walks, and 25 runs scored, and may I further add that every one of those numbers is league-leading? May I, haters? Oh, thank you for allowing me to point that out. It is most gracious of you. 


Also, let's hear it for J. P. Arencibia, who hit his fourth home run of the season last night, and who is totally going to be the starting catcher for years. He is going to be at least fine. Good for him, good for us. Everybody wins.


Finally, Robinson Cano scares the hell out of me. It is indecent that he hits the ball that hard and plays second base. Indecent.


KS