Cardinals 12, Brewers 6: Uecklear Holocaust

Everything in this picture other than Jason Motte's beard: contemptible.

Another brutal drubbing ends another League Championship Series with extreme prejudice. This is a shame. We all knew Shawn Marcum has been kind of awful for a while now, but I don't think anyone could have expected that he'd end his season with a four-run first and be replaced in the second. Nobody else really fared all that much better, so even though the Brewers managed to momentarily club their way back in it with two homers in a three-run second, this one started a laugher and finished a laugher. Unless you were Bob Uecker, in which case you sounded so sad.

I am with these guys.

Also this guy.

KS

Brewers 9, Cardinals 6: That Six-Run Fifth Was Bananas

As hard as baseballs get hit, ever.

Much is rightly made of the Milwaukee crowd. They're crazy loud, for starters, and there are a lot of them, and both of those things are excellent, but what gets me is, who tailgates baseball at all, let alone with the single-minded intensity of Brewers fans? "The grills were smokin'," Bob Uecker reported about yesterday's pregame festivities. I bet! Sausages are the best.


I'll tell you who was not the best, at least not yesterday, was Zack Greinke, who recently denounced Chris Carpenter as "phony," which is pretty cold: six runs on eight hits and couple of walks in six innings is rarely going to get it done. Fortunately for him, though, Ryan Braun hit one out in the first -- Jaime Garcia responded by putting Prince Fielder on his considerable ass, although I can totally buy that it wasn't intentional, given that he was wild that entire inning -- and then the fifth inning was, as I may have already mentioned, bananas. If you haven't seen it, or if you have seen it, but without the accompaniment of Bob Uecker, you really should click here. Our highlight joins the inning already well under way, after a Cory Hart single and a double from Jerry Hairston; you'll see and hear the TBS call of Ryan Braun's ground rule double (what a crazy bounce!). Then you will hear Bob Uecker call Prince Fielder's two-run, Delgado-esque lined shot that leaves the ballpark as quickly as a baseball can do anything at all, really, and what I really love about the clip is not just how worked up Uecker gets, nor how worked up Fielder is as he crosses the plate and plays to the crowd and his teammates; the best part is just after that, when he's walking towards the end of the dugout, nobody else around him, and he's still completely riled up, as though all that other stuff he's done was for show, and now that he's alone he can really let go. Also stay tuned for Ueck's call of Yuniesky Betancourt's two run dinger: "HERE COMES YUNI BEEEEEEEEEE!" You will note that the mighty wallop was struck off of the hangingest breaking ball anyone has ever seen not just from Octavio "Don't Ask" Dotel, but, like, ever, as in ever ever.    


Despite the bananity of all of that, it could very well have been for naught, as Albert Pujols came up with two on and nobody out in the seventh. That he grounded into a classic, around-the-horn 5-4-3 double play to plate a run but end the threat of the big inning, was legitimately surprising to me, as I figured he would have launched one, you know? Since he is arguably the greatest right-handed hitter since Hank Greenberg? But double play ground balls happen, man, they just happen. What can be done? Here's a photograph of Albert Pujols from yesterday that I like -- it's not the double play ball; it's his single in the first, but here it is all the same:

I am all about pictures at the plate where you see the batter, catcher, and umpire all looking in exactly the same direction for a second. I can't say why. Also I am all about yesterday's game, and in this case I can say why: it is because it was so awesome and exciting.


KS

Baseball On The Radio In These Important Times

GO TEAM

May I ask how, exactly, you are going about these League Championship Series, friends? As I have previously mentioned, I'm an all-audio guy right now with thoroughly cancelled cable and a humble Gameday subscription. I am not bemoaning this situation; it is entirely my preference. But if you are watching the games on TBS and Fox, is it possible for you to enjoy them with the sound up?


With the NLCS, the TBS clips that are coming up on MLB.com reveal a certain not-greatness to the broadcasts, and if we are going to be straight with one another one of the first things we would have to talk about in that spirit of straightness would be the fact that any station that would employ Buck Martinez in any capacity for any series ever is questionable, so whether he is working any one particular series or not, he casts a long shadow. Fortunately, the sound-down options are pretty good for the NLCS: Jon Sciambi and Bobby Valentine aren't going to do you any harm at all on ESPN Radio (stream it live from espnradio.com! I dare you!), and Bob Uecker is of course relentlessly, almost antagonistically awesome on WTMJ. On a recent episode of FanGraphs Audio, poet, hipster, and baseball ironist Carson Cistulli determined (with the help of Dave Cameron) that while Vin Scully is arguably superior in terms of actually telling you things that are happening during a baseball game, Scully is like a wonderful grandfather, whereas Uecker is like an amazing uncle, which gets it exactly right, and makes me even gladder than ever that they are both still in our lives despite being astoundingly old. Really, it's almost unthinkable to me that anyone would willingly opt for anything but Uecker for this NLCS, but you're entirely OK if you have to go with ESPN (I have no idea about the St. Louis broadcast, because they mostly talk about the Cardinals, which is an understandable but unfortunate situation).

Over in the American League, you can put aside the perfectly fine WXYT Detroit and KESN Dallas local crews because you've got Dan Shulman and Orel Hershiser on ESPN Radio. The secretly Canadian Dan Shulman is by far the best of the guys who are not ancient, and Orel Hershiser is awkward but extremely knowledgeable (also the baseball glove I use to this day is an Orel Hershiser model, though I am considering a new glove for next spring, to be honest). This is basically the sweetest possible relief from the annual Joe Buck horror show on Fox, whether it is with his usual partner Tim McCarver (whom we at Baseball Feelings wish a speedy recovery from heart surgery) or, because he is making news in recent days, I guess, Terry Francona this time around. It doesn't matter who you pair with Joe Buck; he's still the worst. The choice between Dan Shulman and Joe Buck is like if you had a skin condition, or something, and you had to decide between a soothing balm and fire ants: I would literally never take the ants.


Your thoughts?


KS

Brewers 3, Diamondbacks 2 (F/10): The Best Game

Not pictured: Bob Uecker, pleased

In the end, it was totally worth seeing the Diamondbacks tie it up in the top of the ninth on a safety squeeze, and add insult to injury with another ridiculous snake gesticulation (how I loathe "The Snake" -- say what you will about the Brewers' "Beast Mode," which is itself far from ideal, but I will take it over what basically amounts to this any day). Because holy cow, what a finish: ex-Regina Pat Nyjer Morgan, who you almost certainly know better as the ineffable Tony Plush, dribbled a single up the middle to bring Carlos Gomez, who had singled and stolen second, racing home ahead of the throw to the plate. It was awesome, an awesomeness rendered truly sublime by the even-more-ecstatic-than-usual Bob Uecker. Then Nyjer Morgan said "fuck" a lot on mic, and revealed in the post-game press conference that his greatest motivation is his desire to show the haters he can play this game. It was more than any of us could have ever asked for.


Have I mentioned Chris Young's catch? It is shabby of me if I have not, because it was pretty incredible, even though nobody will end up caring because the Diamondbacks lost.


Anyway: loved this one, absolutely loved it. As tight and tense a playoff game as you could ever hope to see.


KS

Brewers 4, Diamondbacks 1: Arguably, You Don't Pitch to Prince There

First pitch: Bob Uecker

Not that it mattered, much: the real mistake was probably pitching to Lucroy with two outs, Betancourt on third (from a triple! a triple that nearly killed Bob Uecker through excitement!), and the pitcher's spot due up next. Amazing, isn't it, that I can pay almost no attention at all to the National League all season, and yet front like I have a firm grasp on the strategies most appropriate to it as soon as the playoffs begin?


Anyway. Go Brewers. Also, please station paramedics immediately outside the radio booth. I worry that we almost lost Bob Uecker this afternoon, and this was only game one.

That's right: Bob Uecker.

KS

My First-Round 2011 MLB Playoff Preferences Expressed In A Form That Recalls Haiku But Is Not In Keeping With All Principles of Haiku, Honestly

Go Tigers! And Phils!
Rangers over Rays, I guess --
And may Ueck's heart sing!


KS