Giants Use Up All Their Runs for the Week, Beat Cardinals 7-3

KABLAMMO

So the Giants actually scored some runs against Genius Tony LaRussa and his Genius Band of St. LaRussas. Andres Torres mashed a grand slam and nearly lapped all the baserunners watching it go over the fence. Cody Ross clobbered a monster home run. Brandon Crawford got a key RBI. Madison Bumgarner was amazing, allowing only two runs, and those only came as the direct result of a horrifically blown call by an ump.

Even Tejada had a couple of singles, which of course came courtesy of the only way Michael Tejada can get a hit these days: a ground ball that manages to barely miss several gloves in succession. I would be worried about the fact that Tejada always seems to just get a couple singles right when his hitless streaks are about to become inexcusable, but beat writer extraordinaire Andrew Baggarly seems to get the impression dude's on the verge of either losing his starting job or getting straight DFA'd as soon as Pablo Sandoval can reasonably swing a bat again, which is a matter of weeks now. With recent call-ups Crawford and Burriss and the stalwart Mike Fontenot all contributing more to the team than Mikey T, it's hard not to agree. Even if you're Bruce "Gritty Veteran Fetish" Bochy.

Speaking of gritty veterans, Aaron Rowand took a pickoff throw directly to the dick yesterday, so he's questionable at the moment for today, but will be starting if his dick feels strong. Why will he be starting? His small sample size past success against today's Cardinals pitcher, of course. Bay City Ball today had a succinct post comparing the projected stats for Rowand against those of Belt. The results may not surprise anyone!

Good to see that the Giants just allowed the Marlins to sweep them in order to lull the Marlins into a false sense of confidence, allowing them to be repeatedly, utterly thrashed by the Dodgers and Diamondbacks. I'm just glad nothing bad happened during that Marlins series!

Anyway, these are the May 2011 Giants. Some days they can't score a single run against a mediocre pitching staff. Some days they hit grand slams. You know what doesn't happen on any days? Aubry Huff contributing. He was 0-for-4 yesterday with a walk, which I guess is good. He drew 83 walks and scored 100 runs in 2010. Baggs points out that in 2011, Huff's on pace for 49 walks and 43 runs. If you remixed all of Huff's at-bats this season into a YouTube video, it would sound like this:

popup popup popup
grounder, double-play
whiff whiff whiff whiff AARGH
popup double-play, weakly hit topper
whiff whiff swinging bunt
*REGGAETON HORN*