Blue Jays 13, White Sox 4: Laughers: No Laughing Matter

This probably looked way cooler in their heads.

It is a shame that when E5's first home run of the season finally came it turned out to be a solo shot. Oh wait it is totally not a shame because the reason there was nobody on base is that Aaron Hill also just hit his first home run of the season and it was no ordinary home run but instead a grand slam. And sure, it is entirely possible that the italicized smugness I have just subjected you to is not, strictly speaking, warranted, as here we are at the end of May and those are two everyday players who are just now hitting their first home runs, but let me tell you that it felt like smug italics when it happened and I am not about to be dishonest about the way that moment felt because were I do so I would have failed you as a writer.


The Blue Jays scored early and often, and it was awesome. Sox starter John Danks needed fifty-two pitches to get out of the bat-around first inning, which is by any metric an epically shitty outing. Danks stayed fiery, though, and got into it a little bit with Jose Bautista in the fourth. With your permission, I would like to now quote extensively from this article:


Danks was [. . .] forthcoming when asked to discussed his anger toward Toronto slugger Jose Bautista, who slammed his bat after popping up a pitch in the fourth inning with the Jays leading 9-2.

"I told him to run the bases," Danks said. "He was out there acting like a (bleeping) clown. He’s a good player. He’s had a great 1 ½ years. No doubt, he's one of the best hitters in the league. But he’s out there acting like he’s Babe Ruth. That’s horse(bleep), totally. I just told him to run the base and quit acting like a clown.

"He ran haflway down the line and spiked the bat. I get it. He’s mad at himself. I threw him a 3-1 fastball that he missed. Then I threw him another heater. He’s a good hitter. He's had a great couple years, but he’s not that good to act like he needs to hit every ball out of the park.

"That’s just the way I feel. I have pride. I really do. I've had a (lousy) year, but I have pride. I’m not going to let him show me up. I just told him to run the bases and quit acting like a clown."

Bautista told reporters that his base running "should not be (Danks') concern, anyway."

"I was upset at myself for missing a pitch," Bautista said. "If he took it the wrong way, I'm sorry. I'm not here to make him feel good.

"It really doesn't matter to me what he thought. What I'm not going to allow is when I'm running by him, him yelling at me again. So I yelled back at him."  

Feisty! It was silly but kind of fun. It lacked the air of genuine menace that surrounded my favourite shouting match in Blue Jays history -- Carlos Delgado yelling at Orlando Hernandez in Spanish with such venom and volume that I could easily hear it from the upper deck in left field -- but I enjoyed it all the same.


Also enjoyable: seeing Ricky Romero finally get some run support. He had allowed two or fewer runs in something like eight of ten starts this year but came into the game with an almost shabby 4-4 record, so this was, you know, better. Romero is in fact totally good, but it seems like not everybody knows that. My firm belief is that they should, though.


It would be poor form indeed were I not to conclude by saluting Corey Patterson's 4-5 (with a HR) yesterday, giving him nine hits in his last two games. Dave Schoenfield has a nice piece at ESPN.com about the strange arc of Patterson's career, from can't-miss-prospect to journeyman.  Schoenfield notes that before you start feeling too bad about how things went for Patterson for a number of years, he's made about $13 million playing professional baseball, so he'd be alright even if he hadn't managed the nine hits this weekend. What a union, man. What a union. 


KS