Giants Reportedly Visited Cincinnati

File game one under toughluck.xls, add game two to missedopportunities.ppt, and consider game three part of no_offense.exe (with a side of barryzito.doc). Three horrific first innings and we're moving on.

The Giants made great moves well before the trade deadline in acquiring Carlos Beltran and Jeff Keppinger, then panicked and made the most lateral of lateral moves in acquiring Orlando Cabrera, so is Miguel Tejada without the name value. Seriously, their slash lines are almost precisely identical.

Huge, huge, enormous, gigantic series against the Diamondbacks starting today. The Giants are totally capable of losing the NL West to them. It's very, very scary. Here we go.

These Pitchers Are Good: Giants over Brewers, 2-1

Human anime character Ryan Braun's disappointment is palpable.

Do you know how many walks Madison Bumgarner has allowed since June 1? Two. Look at every one of his metrics besides W-L record and prepare to have your mind blown. Then look at his age. Yeah, that says "21." That sound? Your mind, being blown once again.

Do you know how many runs the Giants bullpen has allowed since the All-Star Break? One. You don't even know how amazing that is. Your puny brain can't even comprehend it.

Brian Wilson must have read my post-San Diego blog where I talked about what a lousy closer he is, because on Saturday night he threw a five-pitch save, and Sunday afternoon he struck out Fielder looking, induced a Rickie Weeks fly to right, and struck out Yuniesky Betancourt swinging. The Fielder at-bat was both his most important and best retired batter since a little gem you may remember:

The Giants pitching staff is so unbelievable that the Giants -- who have maybe two active roster members hitting above league average -- have the fifth-best record in baseball. They have taken 18 of 22 three-game series this season. THEY'RE WINNING GAMES WITHOUT RUNS. MLB should rename the Cy Young Award "The 2011 Giants Pitching Staff Award."

So the Giants remain four games in front of the Diamondbacks and helped the Pirates reclaim a share of first place in the NL Central. Unfortunately, the Giants have seven games on the road against the Phillies and the Reds. Who do the Diamondbacks play their next seven games against? The Padres and the Dodgers, that's who. Yeah. The Phillies series should be nice and gut-wrenching. It's really a worst-case scenario because the Giants will not be facing Cliff Lee nor Roy Halladay, who they really beat the piss out of. Please see below for photographic evidence.

It's going to be a crazy week, and the Giants may -- just may -- emerge on the other side of it clutching a shiny new Carlos Beltran.

- Bill

Giants Play Legitimate Baseball Game, Beat Reds 4-2

He's a good leadoff hitter, but the real money is in his hambone solos.

Early on, it looked like the same old, ridiculous Giants. Leadoff walk gets thrown out on a stupid steal attempt, a swing and miss on a hit-and-run, and Jonathan Sanchez walking batters who clearly couldn't even tell where the ball was going. But they turned it around and played a for-real baseball game. Huff got some hits and a couple of RBI. Schierholtz stayed in the game against a lefty and immediately lofted a sac fly for the go-ahead run. The defense was amazingly great behind a shaky Sanchez (pretty much the only guy who shows up these days). The Giants worked counts, the Reds made mistakes, and the good guys walked away with the win after outplaying Dusty Baker's lineup of mashers. Javier Lopez made Joey Votto and Jay Bruce look like they'd never held a bat before. It's a good win.

Pablo Sandoval comes back tomorrow as the Giants open a series in Arizona against the second-place Diamondbacks. A huge series. The Giants need some bats, and fast. Chris Stewart got the start at catcher yesterday and got a double, drew a walk, and gunned down a guy trying to steal second base. These are things that Eli Whiteside basically can't do. Stewart may have even blocked a pitch in the dirt at one point! Still, they need a for-real catcher. With Sandoval back and Fontenot coming back soon, it will be an interesting couple of weeks to see how Huff and the newly-arrived Bill Hall continue to perform. It will be July 31 soon, and the Giants will likely need a lot more help a lot sooner. It's scary, but it probably won't be dull.

- Bill

Stop It, They're Already Dead: Giants Lose, 10-2

Broken.

Timmy's broken, the Giants don't know how to hit, and Bochy decided to field the worst lineup of the season. Worst loss of the year. All there is left to root for until Pablo gets back is a series of Diamondbacks losses.

Twelve Injured in Giants Walkoff 3-2 Victory Over Reds

"Was it a slider low and away? That's what usually does it to me."

A short list of the Giants opening-day lineup players that have been/are on the disabled list this season:

C - Buster Posey

1B - Brandon Belt

2B - Freddy Sanchez

3B - Pablo Sandoval

CF - Andres Torres

Here is a short list of other Giants who have been/are on the disabled list this season:

RP - Brian Wilson

RP - Santiago Casilla

SP - Barry Zito

OF - Cody Ross

SS - Mike Fontenot

OF - Darren Ford

Actually, this might work best; here is a short list of Giants who have not, at any point, been on the disabled list this season:

Miguel Tejada

Aubrey Huff

Aaron Rowand

It's...this isn't good. Freddy Sanchez goes down with a possibly season-ending injury, the Giants sign Bill Hall, and the entire roster is engulfed in an enormous fireball. Still, the Giants got their ninth walk-off win and are in first place by two games. Miguel Tejada is currently the Giants' hottest hitter. The world got flipped, turned upside down. Sandoval and Fontenot are possibly back next week, Belt a short time after that.

I honestly don't know what's going to happen from here. The Giants could keep getting miraculously lucky breaks and squeak out a division title in the laughable NL West. The bats might wake up. The offense might congeal. The Giants might fall off a cliff and only win another fifteen games for the rest of the season. Anything could happen. Anything. It's baseball. Beautiful, tragic, train-wreck baseball. One thing is for sure, though: don't ever, EVER try to hit a ball off of Miguel Tejada's shin for a base hit.

Giants are Completely Awful, Lose 3-0

The extent of the offense.

This was the first game that I nearly couldn't bear to watch. Madison Bumgarner allowed one run through seven innings. The Giants got leadoff walks and got caught stealing by five feet. The Giants got two leadoff hits and didn't score. The Giants had a man on third with less than two out and couldn't bring him in. The Reds scored all three of their runs after there were two out and no men on.

Madison Bumgarner has the third-least run support in the major leagues. He has one lifetime win at AT&T Park. He is the new Matt Cain.

Just absolutely, murderously pathetic. No offense. No offense anywhere. Not in the lineup, not on the bench, not tucked safely inside Brian Wilson's beard. The Giants deserved to lose tonight, and I hope they feel awful about themselves. Because they are awful.

This game made me catch feelings, ladies and gentlemen. Hateful, unchecked baseball feelings.