Corpse of Giants Roster Shows Signs of Unnatural Life

Bruce Bochy will never be able to feel another emotion.

The Giants lost 2-1 in 11 innings. Great, who cares, whatever. Jonathan Sanchez was starting a game the day after a soul-crushing loss and Beltran and Romo were headed to the DL. A loss was academic tonight.

The real meat of today's story is that the lineup was released and everyone was like LOLWUT because Sandoval was at 1B and Huff was in LF and Belt was in RF and an adorable kitten was Pitcher's Helper. (FanGraphs indicates the adorable kitten is leading the majors in mewling, but Shane Victorino is close behind.) The stories started tumbling hard and fast out of Atlanta: Keppinger out, getting an MRI on his wrist; Schierholtz out, possible broken foot; Rowand out, strained intercostal. The Giants must have gotten off a plane that later crashed during last year's playoffs, because 2011 has been a string of calamities bordering on the Lovecraftian.

In the third inning, Jonathan Sanchez sprained his ankle fielding a bunt, because OF COURSE HE DID. Everyone in the ballpark started watching for bolts of lightning or dangling safes or frayed electrical cords left perilously close to puddles of water. The Giants were no-hit through six innings by a guy major his second MLB start. No one expected anything different.

But something strange happened. The Giants showed immense gumption, much more than anyone could have expected. After Sanchez gave up a run, the Giants pitching staff and defense shut the Braves down inning after inning after inning. Cody Ross blasted a huge home run to prevent the no-hitter and the shutout. The Giants made the Braves' bullpen work. They got as many hits as the Braves, but couldn't quite manage the big one. Both Brandon Belt and Aubrey Huff made game-saving plays in the outfield. It was fun. It was more competitive and exciting than it had any right to be, and Brooks Conrad got to be the hero with a ground-rule double and the winning run in a bit of poetic justice.

If I'm the Giants, I have to believe they're pleased with themselves even in a loss. They won't just roll over and die, even when their roster is reduced to Aubrey Huff and a whimsical tea cozy. However, having said that, the Phillies let Lyle "DFA'd From the Pirates" Overbay drive in all three Diamondbacks runs against Roy Halladay and lost at home, putting the Giants 3.5 games out. But fiddle-dee-dee, tomorrow is another day. I'm certain that tomorrow will bring more injuries, and I'm equally as certain that Aubrey Huff will be the only member of the Giants roster to not sniff the DL this season. Sabean will have deals in place for Posada, Damon, and Alfonso Soriano by the weekend.

It's really amazing that the Giants have done as much as they have after all that has happened to them this season. If they somehow, somehow manage to make it to the playoffs...that's nothing short of miraculous. It's important to remember that the G-Men should probably have a W-L record more closely resembling the Mariners or Astros than being within spitting distance of first place. This was the best possible loss today. That's something, at least.

Giants Reportedly Visited Cincinnati

File game one under toughluck.xls, add game two to missedopportunities.ppt, and consider game three part of no_offense.exe (with a side of barryzito.doc). Three horrific first innings and we're moving on.

The Giants made great moves well before the trade deadline in acquiring Carlos Beltran and Jeff Keppinger, then panicked and made the most lateral of lateral moves in acquiring Orlando Cabrera, so is Miguel Tejada without the name value. Seriously, their slash lines are almost precisely identical.

Huge, huge, enormous, gigantic series against the Diamondbacks starting today. The Giants are totally capable of losing the NL West to them. It's very, very scary. Here we go.

Brandon Motherfucking Belt: Giants Win, 5-3

This is the power I wield: not one hour after bemoaning the fate of Brandon Belt, the Giants call him up, and started him at first base, due to a "tight back" for Aubrey Huff. What does Belt do? Oh, just gets the Giants on the board with a sweet home run onto the arcade in his first at-bat, and rips a sensational two-out, two-run double down the opposite line (off a lefty) to put the Giants on top for good. Brandon Belt, god damn it.

Madison Bumgarner didn't get Sadison Bumgarnered for once, as the Giants score more than three runs for him at home for the first time this year. Even Brandon Crawford had a hit and two walks. Oh also, the Giants placed Miguel Tejada on the DL and traded some minor league C-level arms for the Astros' Jeff Keppinger, a league-average utility guy/middle infielder, which immediately gives the Giants an upgraded position. Nate Schierholtz had his first bad game in two weeks but still had a couple solid at-bats and a hit, so between him, Belt, and Sandoval, that's three more hitters than the Giants had a month ago. Get a for-real league-average catcher in there, and ALL BETS ARE OFF.

This was a good game. Giants try to avoid the sweep tomorrow on a getaway day against Clayton Kershaw. The snakes got mauled by the Brewers in the desert. Let's do this.