Saturday, June 18, 2011

Blue Jays 3, Reds 2: Kind of a Hell of a Game, Actually

Such a might wallop.
What's up, Cincinnati Reds? I have not really thought about you in a serious way since 1990 when you had Chris Sabo and Paul O'Neil and Norm Charlton and Eric Davis and Terry Hatcher and Rob Dibble and Barry Larkin and Jose Rijo, and I'm not saying that's about to change, but I will enjoy watching Joey Votto hit this weekend and I think your ballpark is beautiful, so what it do


You know who else is pretty great to watch is that Brandon Phillips! Such plays! A good defensive second basemen is, I think, one of the best things in baseball from an aesthetic perspective. They do cool things like all the time! And Phillips made a couple of great plays last night. He's super quick and has a strong arm. I like him.


But I am getting ahead of myself. For the story of the game begins on the mound, where Mike Leake and dear sweet Jo-Jo Reyes dueled through five-and-a-half scoreless innings before Drew Stubbs (a totally underrated name qua name in my view) lofted one to right-centre that really and truly was Corey Patterson's ball, but, playing out of position (he usually plays left but Rajai needs couple of days to collect himself, basically) it didn't look like he was being particularly decisive, so you've got Jose Bautista drifting over then they both start to put their gloves up, and it seemed like each perceived the other putting their gloves up, and at the same moment decided "oh ok cool he's got it" but no, the ball fell to the ground and rolled to the wall whilst Drew Stubbs (seriously that is a handle) rounded the bases for an inside-the-park home run. Guys, guys, guys: Yo la tengo was invented for precisely this reason. You can't where it out. Just go ahead and use it. I think you'll find it totally useful. And fun!

Anyway, given Jo-Jo's baffling, Beckettian existence, I figured that this meant the game was going to end 1-0 with Jo-Jo going the distance and losing on that inside-the-park home run, because of course that is how it would happen. Also the post-game totals would be spoken by Jessica Tandy's mouth illuminated against a black back drop and raised like ten feet off the ground. But no! Patterson and Bautista quickly made amends for their shenanigans as Patterson was grazed by a pitch, stole second, and came home on Bautista's double to the wall in centre. Then Adam Lind, who is absolutely monstrous right now -- seriously, he is as hot as Bautista was to start the year, except this is just happening in the middle of the season so it is easier to miss, despite hitting .431 with 8 HR since coming off the DL -- homered for the fourth consecutive game, which was really and truly awesome of him. And totally necessary, as it turned out, as Scott Rolen, who continues to be extremely tall, hit a solo shot of his own. The Toronto bullpen decided not to be assholes; 3-2 final. Loved it!


Also Alan Ashby has been back on the radio for a little while now and I don't ever want that to change. Alan Ashby forever; Gregg Zaun never. 


KS

2 comments:

  1. "Anyway, given Jo-Jo's baffling, Beckettian existence, I figured that this meant the game was going to end 1-0 with Jo-Jo going the distance and losing on that inside-the-park home run, because of course that is how it would happen. Also the post-game totals would be spoken by Jessica Tandy's mouth illuminated against a black back drop and raised like ten feet off the ground."

    These two sentences reaffirm my faith in man, sweet Kendall. Simply sublime.

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  2. Awesome, that's totally what I was going for: the faith-affirming sublime.

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