Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Giants Hand Out Complimentary Runs, Waste Rallies, Lose 5-3

SAN FRANCISCO, CA - JULY 05:  Luke Gregerson #57 of the San Diego Padres looks on against the San Francisco Giants at AT&T Park on July 5, 2011 in San Francisco, California.
"Gregerson? Who is Gregerson? My name is Guy Incognito."

The Giants are allergic to getting hits with runners in scoring position. Legitimately. They have a note from their doctor, and everything. "RISP-eratory failure."

Other things the Giants are allergic to:

- Hits without runners in scoring position
- Executing a hit and run
- Not grounding into double plays
- Home runs
- The Padres
- Bees
- Managers with normal, human-size heads
- Not getting injured
- Baseball bats
- Baseball gloves
- Beads
- Grass
- Gluten

(By the way, the Giants have lost the last two games with the tying runs in scoring position and less than two outs in the bottom of the ninth inning. Blast these allergies!)

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