Red Sox sign softball player who, tragically, isn't me

I love his "lol well I guess" expression here

The Boston Red Sox have signed a softball player from a Commonwealth country, and to my surprise and disappointment, it wasn't me.  Instead, it's Beau Bishop, a catcher from New Zealand. You can read more about it here.  This is outrageously weird, but also tremendous for at least three reasons, and probably more.  

First off, I have a lot of time for New Zealanders.  Believe me when I tell you that I have had mixed experiences with Australians (don't get me started), but so far literally every New Zealander I have met has been awesome.  Flight of the Conchords isn't wrong about New Zealanders. Or about Australians. Or about anything, actually.

Secondly, softball players everywhere will be cheered and inspired by this news, which is important, and then they'll realize we're not talking slow pitch here, and then they will be sad, which will be funny.  

Third, and finally, this is I suppose the logical next step after the Giambis: instead of going after dudes who kind of seem to be particularly gifted softball players, you go after players who actually are particularly gifted softball players.  Is it a new market ineffeciency?  

Actually this is as good a time as any to reveal to you all that I have in fact discovered through research and quantitative analysis the new market inefficiency that is about to be exploited by all forward-thinking baseball executives.  It is feelings. 


KS