Cardinals 12, Brewers 3: Albert Pujols, Ladies and Gentlemen

Albert Pujols seen here looking insufficiently pleased with himself

Albert Pujols probably thinks it's cute that Ryan Braun is hitting .500 in the playoffs, but Pujols is hitting .556 now after last night's 4-5 with a home run and three fucking doubles. Poor Shaun Marcum, who just looks worn out, totally out of gas. I don't even know, man, this game was brutal. Let's just spend the off-day thinking about sausage races and reconvene tomorrow.

GO SAUSAGES

KS