If I Ever Consider Losing $160 Million to be an Advantageous Situation, Please Punch Me in the Face

Laughing all the way to the bank....to withdraw $160 million. 

So there it is.  And after all of the days gone, money spent, and excuses made, where do the Wilpons, the Mets, and their fans find themselves?  Pretty much exactly where they started. 

When the news broke that the Wilpons had agreed to settle the suit brought against them by Irving Picard, the trustee appointed to clawback money for the Madoff victims, I did a huge fist pump in the car that I was driving.  When the news broke that it was a $160 million settlement, I nearly drove off the road in delight.  However, as more details began to come out about the settlement, my hopes of a dream that ended with the pennyless Wilpons forced to sell the Mets to someone with actual business acumen were dashed.  

It's true that the $160 million number is a big one.  However, the Wilpons don't have to pay a penny of it until Picard is finished with his entire case, which is estimated to take another three to four years.  And in what I consider to be more of a sad referendum on the state of American business law than an outrage, the Wilpons are still attempting to recoup $172 million from Madoff.  

Yes, you read that correctly.  On pretty much the same day that they agreed to pay Picard, they immediately just walked to the other side of the table to become his clients as they sought restitution from Madoff.  They could actually MAKE money from this whole mess when all is said and done.  AMERICA.

Also, they sold some portions of their ownership for about $240 million and paid off their outstanding loans to Bank of America and Major League Baseball, so it looks like Jeffy gets to keep his fantasy baseball team for awhile.  Yayy.  

Anyway, enough about those dumb clowns, lets take a look at the on-field talent!

Johan Santana has been having a great spring, and in his last outing he made the World Series MVP look like a big dumb on several occasions.  I think that he will be a valuable piece of this treading water season, provided that his arm doesn't flat out fall off like in the Walking Dead or something.  

Almost as good has been R.A. Dickey who is just the man.  He wears Darth Vader crap around the clubhouse, told Mets ownership to stick it and climbed a giant mountain, and beats the Phillies so much.  They are both having good springs!  Have good seasons, guys!

Also encouraging has been seeing Zach Wheeler and Matt Harvey throwing like 98 miles per hour apiece.  Less encouraging was when Zach Wheeler twisted his ankle climbing the stairs.  Try not to climb so many stairs, Zach!  I look forward to 2013 when these guys are both coming up.  Just like Generation K.  Loved those guys.  

Ike Davis has polio or some shit, but I'm excited for him to have a big season.  Jason Bay can go straight to hell.  I know I wasn't Lucas Duda's biggest fan in the first half of last season, but he is gonna sock so many dingers.  Daniel Murphy is gonna hit .320 and die during a pickoff play at second base.  Bye Daniel!  Ruben Tejada seems nice!  I also like the Mets chances in any kind of brawl that gets started with guys like Rauch and Francisco in the bullpen.  Lets just beat up all the other teams and have a great season!  Lets make that the slogan.  We will straight up punch you .