Giants Win Twice, Beat Dodgers 8-5

Thank God for Cody Ross

It's not often that your team wins and you're just so burnt out and frazzled and disappointed with the game that you can't even really enjoy it. Please see tonight's game against the Dodgers for reference.

The Giants, who have basically never scored a run against Clayton Kershaw, touched him for four runs and drove him from the game early. Matt Cain was pitching one of the most brilliant games of his career, completely shutting down the Dodgers offense. Then, in the eighth inning, the Giants -- for the third time in as many days -- blew their lead, with both Cain and the bullpen coughing up four runs and letting the Dodgers tie the game. Bruce Bochy, to his credit, managed the inning perfectly, but everything went wrong. He left Cain in just long enough, who gave up a single and got a pop fly out. Then he brought in LOOGY Javier Lopez, who struck out lefty Andre Ethier. Then he brought in Sergio Romo to pitch to righty Matt Kemp...and hung a slider for a single, runners at first and second, two out. Given Romo's penchant for hanging sliders in big situations, Bochy went to Brian Wilson for the four-pitch save...but apparently it was bad Brian Wilson, and he gave up a double to Uribe, which scored two. Then, just to drive home that the Giants are really being the Giants like crazy all over the place, Aubrey Huff inexplicably didn't go for a routine grounder, allowing a single and letting the tying run score.

Probably the lone highlight of the Giants looking completely hopeless with their bats and with their gloves these past couple weeks has been Bochy's simmering, barely-contained rage.

BUT THEN, in the top of the ninth inning, Cody Ross belted a HUGE three-run, two-out homer. Wilson gives up a leadoff single but gets a strikeout and two groundouts. Ballgame.

So why was this such a brutal game? Well, beyond the fact that Cain was denied a win due to a ridiculous bullpen performance (Brian Wilson now leads the team in wins, and is on pace for 15 wins and 46 saves), and despite the fact that, although the Giants had 13 hits and were 5-for-9 with RISP, the Ross homer was the only extra-base hit for the Giants all evening, there were ominous events right and left.

Mark DeRosa, mired in an 0-for-23 slump, flinched away from a ball in the dirt in the fourth inning, and his surgically-repaired/ruined wrist exploded.

It was really a shame, and based on DeRosa's reaction, not only is it not good news, but it may be the injury that finally ends his career.

Really, it was sadder than I can describe. DeRosa has shown a desire to play, and to perform this season after spending the last couple of years hurt. You could tell this was a dude who honest-to-god loves this game to death and would do anything to prove himself to his team and the fans, but his body just isn't on his side any more -- if it ever was. During one of his at-bats tonight, Vin Scully started reading the list of injuries DeRosa has had in his career. I missed the intro to the list and for a while, as he reeled off injury upon injury, thought he was listing all of the injuries this season for the NL West teams. It was a really, REALLY long list.

Mark DeRosa's a hell of a dude, and I really want nothing but the best for him, but I really think he may call it a career following this. a terrible way to wrap things up.

So with all of that in mind, watching the Giants blow a lead, you can imagine how it felt when Aaron Rowand hurt his back running out a groundout to lead off the ninth inning. You can FURTHER imagine how it felt in the bottom of the ninth, when Brian Wilson, trying for the winsave, steps in a hole and twists his ankle while trying to get the next-to-last out.

So there's your Giants, back in first place thanks to the Phillies beating the Rockies today. Their bats aren't convincingly alive, their defense is highly suspect, their once-unbeatable bullpen is extremely shaky, and three of their players may be injured after tonight (not counting Freddy Sanchez's swollen knee).

Brian Wilson would be the biggest hit. The Giants have more than enough outfielders without Rowand, and without whatever-the-hell reason Bochy has for playing him more often than not, it would mean more at-bats for Burrell and Torres, which is great. When DeRosa goes back on the DL, it means Mighty Mike Fontenot (who took over with a 2-2 count against Clayton Kershaw when DeRosa had to leave and took two pitches for a huge walk, then went on to add another walk, a hit, and a spectacular couple of plays, one of which ended the game) could become the everyday SS along with spelling Sanchez. It also means the Giants possibly send down pinch-runner/seventh outfielder Darren Ford and call up Manny Burriss and/or Ryan Rohlinger and/or Brandon Belt. There is talk up bringing up Belt and moving Huff to third, which, no. Michael Tejada had a pair of RBI singles tonight, but I'll need a few more games of productivity before I believe Burriss or Rohlinger aren't a massive upgrade over Tejada/DeRosa on the left side of the infield.

Anyway, that's more than enough feelings for this evening. Tomorrow is another huge game for the Giants, as 0-7 Madison Bumgarner goes for his first win. Same as it ever was.

22-20

Now batting fifth for the Detroit Tigers . . .

Giants Lose 5-3, Drop to Second Place

It ain't your fault, Dirty. Well, unless we're talking about why the Giants lost today.

For the first three innings, the Giants offense did everything right. For the first seven innings, the Giants defense did everything right. It should have been a 3-1 victory behind Jonathan Sanchez's best start this year by miles and miles. Instead, Bochy leaves him in too long (sound familiar?), and Sanchez wings a sac bunt into right field and there you go.

The good news is that the Giants don't have to come back to the pee-pee soaked heck-hole that is Coors Field until September. The bad news is that Bruce Bochy doesn't know when to go to his bullpen, or who to bring in when he does. When he finally yanked Sanchez in a 3-3 tie in the eighth, he brings in Javier Lopez -- who is awesome and I love the guy -- to face two right-handers before the lefty, Carlos Gonzalez. (Right-handers are hitting .360 against Lopez.) Gonzalez got just the third left-handed hit against Lopez this season but it shouldn't have gotten that far.

Honestly, it's not Bochy's fault Sanchez can't buckle down and handle his problems. But it's a tough pill to swallow the day after the Lincecum fiasco.

Whatever man, it's not the end of the season. But...man. Just so disgusted with these dudes right now.

Blue Jays 4, Tigers 2: Playoffs.

You know what he's throwin'.

The part of me that is wrong and unfair was about to say that Kyle Drabek is still walking pretty much everybody, but the part of me that is decent and just intervened and pointed out that it is kind of jerk move to say "still" about a guy who is twenty-three and has started but twelve games in his young career. So instead I will say that Drabek walked six more last night, but add that his ability to battle back out of pretty awful situations -- and let's say it is an ability, rather than just a thing that is happening -- saw him through seven innings of three-hit, one-run baseball last night. Was smoke thrown? Intermittently, yes. It was hardly his best start in terms of command and control, but one run over seven is pretty rad when you don't have your best stuff. The Tigers' Max Scherzer kind of had an odd outing, too: eight hits over seven innings and just the one run, an unearned one at that? Strange game.


After Drabek worked his way out of what could have been a pretty disastrous first -- bases loaded, nobody out, Miguel Cabrera at the dish -- allowing only one run, there wasn't any scoring until the Blue Jays eked out a run in the seventh and then tacked on a couple in the eighth. The biggest blow in the eighth was the Aaron Hill double, which was like, dang, Aaron Hill, I forgot about you, girl. Remember how it looked like we were set at second base for the foreseeable future with a perennial All-Star flashing the leather and hitting mad dingers? Instead we have a guy whose team options are about to be not picked up with extreme prejudice. It is saddening. 


Anyway, Frank Francisco did his best to blow it in the ninth, giving up a pretty serious home run to Jhonny Peralta (way to spell out there, Jhonny), a walk, a fly ball to left that would have gone out of literally any other park, and a line drive to Jose Bautista to end it.


Speaking of Jose Bautista, let's! Did anybody else notice the Dave Cameron article that went up at Fangraphs yesterday, the one called "Jose Bautista Is A Massive Bargain"? Totally worth a read, if that was something that you did not already know and appreciate. Cameron concludes:


 "Combined with dumping the Vernon Wells contract, it’s probably fair to say that Anthopolous created something like $150 million in surplus value for his club this winter. I doubt any GM has ever had a better off-season than than the one the Blue Jays young GM just had."


I'm not even going to comment on that. 


I will note, tough, that after last night's relatively modest 2-5, this is where Jose Bautista stands right now: .370/.516/.849/1.365 with 16 HR and 35 BB against 19K. All of that leads the league, except for the strikeouts (he's tied for 94th). He is also now a 4.0WAR player on the season. It is May 17th.


And hey, three-way tie for second in the AL East! Three games out of first, and only a game back for the wild card! And you're always exactly how good you look during a six-game winning streak, right? 


KS

The Impotent Rage of the Giants Fan: Giants Lose, 7-4

Gotta throw strikes to get calls, bro.

If the Giants season up until now was frustrating, watching tonight's game was a lesson in restrained fury. It was difficult reconciling the bile rising in one's throat with the image of Tim Lincecum on the mound. This is our ace; our one reliable touchstone, tonight reduced to an effectively-wild and rattled have-nothing who was clearly burnt to a crisp long before Bruce Bochy decided to leave him in well past his expiration date, and he promptly coughed up a 4-2 lead and turned it into a 7-4 deficit in one scant inning.

The Giants played as though they were aggressively attempting to lose the game. DeRosa let a handful of balls get past him, through him, under him, and over him all evening, which matched his 0-for-18 slump since coming off the DL. Lincecum threw away a double-play ball which extended/led to the aforementioned five-run inning. The ump's strike zone was spectacularly unfair to the Giants all evening, but it doesn't help when Lincecum isn't able to throw strikes.

The Giants had their leadoff hitter reach base in no fewer than six innings and then relentlessly did not bring those runners in. When Lincecum was melting down, Bochy decided to warm up his worst bullpen pitcher, Jeremy Affeldt.

This entire game was ineptitude writ large, especially considering everyone save DeRosa reached base at least once today. The Giants are a ball of screaming at your television nestled in a bassinet of punching things.

If the Giants fail to reach the playoffs this year, please refer to this game as the point at which everything collapsed.

22-19

Blue Jays 11, Twins 3: First things first, Jose Bautista will eat your brains.

Gossip, gossip, haters just stop it.

It has been clear for some time now that were one to describe Jose Bautista's season through analogy to a single selection from the Kanye West oeuvre, it would be "Monster," in that everyone knows that he is one. However, this five home run weekend against the Twins -- three of them coming in yesterday's blowout -- specifically situates Bautista in the Nicki Minaj verse, because it, like Jose Bautista right now, is totally the most monstrous. Pink wig; thick ass; give 'em whiplash. This is what is happening. This is what is going on. I cannot believe it.


Bautista's first home run of the day was a legitimately towering blast off Brian Duensing in the third that landed just shy of the upper deck. His liner to the corner off Slowey in the next inning was comparatively modest, but the ridiculous opposite-field shot that came when Slowey pretty sensibly tried to go down and away in the sixth made up for that. The whole thing was beyond bananas. It was . . . one time I was in the sometimes alarmingly awesome Suspect Video on Markham St. and I asked the fairly icy girl behind the counter which particular noise rock band we were all listening to at an uncomfortable volume that day and she said all quietly "unsane" and I was like "sorry what was that?" because the music was way to loud and so to be properly heard above the din she leans forward a little bit and goes "UNSANE." Jose Bautista right now is UNSANE.


Other, less amazing things happened yesterday, too: Brandon Morrow struck out five his first time through the order, but then fizzled a little and ended the day allowing three runs, all of them earned, in five innings of work. The guy throws a ton of pitches, and he just doesn't go that deep into games. Such stuff, though; such stuff. Also, and this is not important and maybe not even interesting, but I could not help but notice that every Blue Jay in the starting lineup got a hit yesterday except for Rivera and E5, who combined to go 0-10. One of those players I continue to hate; the other I blame for nothing. 


Anyway, the Twins are surprisingly awful, and unlike the last time the Blue Jays played a truly awful team (what's up, Seattle?), they actually managed to, you know, win some of the games, which was totally a plus from this fan's perspective. With this five-game winning streak, the Blue Jays are now back to .500 at 20W-20L, three games back of the AL East-leading Rays (boy that just kind of happened, didn't it?). The three games back part of things, that doesn't matter so much; that cannot and will not hold. But I'm really hoping the .500 part of it sticks around. It's really all I ask in this, another non-contending year: just be around .500, preferably a couple of games to the good, and everything is lovely. Because while I know it's all about the future, all about 2012 and 2013, I've still got to watch the games, and there is only so much I can take. Just be .500, with Jose Bautista running away with the AL MVP. Surely that is not too much to ask?  


A couple more things. First, longtime Blue Jays radio man Jerry Howarth gave a great interview on CBC Radio 1's Sunday Edition with Michael Enright yesterday, and you can listen to that here if you are so inclined. Note that Michael Enright looks like this. Secondly, and almost finally, whenever a three home run game happens, I can't help but think about how Carlos Delgado totally hit four, and that I was there when he did. That and related Carlos feelings are, of course, compiled here. He is my favourite player and he had just retired so things get pretty badly out of hand there.


In closing I would ask Neil to ready himself for the smoke that is about to be thrown upon him as the Blue Jays open up in Detroit tonight and Kyle Drabek takes the hill. You should steel yourself, probably.


KS

Giants Please Thor, Odin, Zeus, et al, Win Shortened game 3-0

Trust the Gorton's Fisher-Man

Ryan Vogelsong continues to be the Giants' good-luck charm. Not only are the Giants 4-0 in Vogelsong's starts, but he managed to tear the sky asunder, bringing with him a maelstrom of terrible playing conditions that allowed him to toss his first complete-game shutout by putting in only six innings of work.

By all accounts, it was a truly miserable couple of hours that carried over, postponing today's game and pushing Tim Lincecum's start back a day, allowing him to open tomorrow's big two-game series in Colorado. On the downside, we won't get to see Tejada and DeRosa flail at Zambrano's stuff all day today.

What's that? How did Tejada do yesterday, playing in the soup? He went 0-for-3 with two errors. why do you ask?

Blue Jays 9, Twins 3 (F/11): If You Use One of Those Old-Timey Reel Mowers, You Can Totally Listen to The Game whilst Mowing

An eerily dead-eyed Yunel Escobar scores in the first.

Given how much I enjoy at least the idea of mowing the lawn while listening to the baseball game on my tiny radio (it is also an MP3 player, if you can even believe that), you would think that my lawn would be the most impeccably maintained of any in my neighbourhood, whereas in fact it is probably the worst of the non-rentals. But it is a new spring and I am going to be a better man. Join me in that effort, won't you? I promise that it's going to be great.

Yesterday's game started off looking like a real slop show, and I say "slop" only because I think it would be wrong to utter a profanity right after coming clean about my lawn failings and saying I would strive to be better than I am. So we'll go with "slop," which pretty accurately describes a top of the first that saw a pretty shabby infield single, a wild pitch, an error, and a missed sign on a hit-and-run (it was either that or the worst jump ever) that led to Jose Bautista getting caught in a rundown between first and second. But the Blue Jays came out of it a run ahead, so everything is good, right? Well kind of, but in the bottom of the inning David Cooper messed up a toss to first for another error and a Twins run. Should Jo-Jo have done a better job of getting over to the bag? Maybe. But we have spoken before about how it must be when Jo-Jo is on the hill. Let us not belabour the point.

I have a small lawn, so I didn't take in much more of the game than that before moving on to other Saturday afternoon things, and didn't pick the game back up until we got to extras, specifically the top of the eleventh. When Jerry Howarth told me that Jose Bautista was due up in the inning, I thought, "OK cool, well, Jose will win it, then, awesome." This was not hope; it was expectation. Eventually this kind of hubris will cost me -- baseball feelingly, I mean -- but yesterday was not that day, as Bautista ripped a two-run shot to the haters in the opposite field, which is notable because Bautista pretty much always pulls the ball except for this one time last season which was also at Target field. It was also notable because it owned.

The four other runs the Blue Jays tacked on were almost unseemly, but these things happen. It's also worth noting that Jo-Jo is still looking for his first win in literally years. I would again ask that you pray for him.

KS

I think what I'll miss most is the smugness.

I am a cat enthusiast but there is something about that mouse that speaks to me.

I am abandoning all hope that Blogger will restore what were probably the greatest posts ever by anyone about anything, my recaps of the Blue Jays' recent minisweep of the Boston Red Sox by scores of 7-6 (F/10) and 9-3. It's not the personal loss that bothers me so much as the loss to the culture, to the language. All we have now are the memories. The 7-6 game was bananas, and ended when Rajai Davis stole second and third on consecutive pitches and came home on a David Cooper sacrifice fly in the tenth. Most of what I wanted to talk about, though, was how John Farrell has the team running too much, and into unnecessary outs, because I felt personally aggrieved by a missed sign on a squeeze play in the fourth. A sense of proportion is what I brought to the table. Drabek threw not smoke, but tolerably well. The game had it all: home runs, pickoffs, dudes no less awesome than Carl Crawford getting thrown out at the plate, stolen bases, caught stealingseseses, you name it. The 9-3 game, on the other hand, was a shellacking, and you will note that you almost can't spell "shellacking" without "John Lackey." 


Where the real smugness came in, though, was when I linked to an SI.com piece in which Jon Heyman put for the (correct) argument that the best move in all of baseball over the winter was the Toronto side of the Vernon Wells deal (Vernon I love you but it is true), and Alex Anthopolous' decision to pull the trigger on a moderately priced Jose Bautista extension. On Bautista:


2. Blue Jays sign Jose Bautista to a $65-million, five-year contract extension. Toronto saved themselves tens of millions with this master stroke, building on the brilliance of the Wells deal. Anthopoulos was annihilated at the time, as some figured he was wasting the money saved from the Wells miracle. But by giving big bucks to Bautista, who some figured was a one-year wonder after he hit 54 home runs in 2010, it turns out Anthopoulos kept the player who has turned into a superstar in Toronto. Bautista has not only improved from his alleged career year, he has been the best player in baseball this season. And it's not really close. He has an otherworldly 1.301 OPS overall (and a crazy 1.772 OPS at home). As Rays manager Joe Maddon said, Bautista is like Barry Bonds, circa 2001. Anthopoulos said, "I'm done saying he can't do something. I'm just going to watch and enjoy.'' Bautista really can't be blamed for quickly capitalizing on his out-of-nowhere season. How could anyone have known even better was yet to come? But it looks now like if Bautista had waited, he would have joined Prince Fielder and Albert Pujols in the superstar free-agent market this winter and probably beaten $150 million. And the Jays would have been out of luck.

This is ground that we had covered previously together, Baseball Feelers, but I wanted to share that with you because I am a small man in some ways.


Also the Podzilla era came to a premature end when Scott Podsednik asked for and was granted his release. 


I think that pretty much covers it, although, again, curse you, Blogger. And may you find peace, "Blue Jays 9, Red Sox 3: A Two Game Sweep is Still A Sweep" and "Blue Jays 7, Red Sox 6 (F/10): What Have I Become?" You were too beautiful for this world.


KS 

22-18

Awwwww yeah, this is what you get for batting King Louis cleanup.

Blue Jays 2, Twins 0: Why Can't Every Blue Jay Be Either Ricky Romero or Jose Bautista?

Is it just me or does Rickey Romero have an abnormally small glove?

On a day when Blogger let us down (they say the posts will all come back but I do not understand computers enough to know whether or not to believe them), Ricky Romero did not, taking a no-hitter into the sixth en route to eight-and-two-thirds shut-out innings in what is probably the best start by a Blue Jays pitcher this year (I will not be looking that up). The Blue Jays only runs came on a Juan Rivera single in the seventh to plate Corey Patterson and an absolutely glorious Jose Bautista home run in the ninth after going down 0-2 and battling back in a pretty epic AB:


Top 9

• 
  

  Defensive Substitution: Rene Rivera replaces Ben Revere, batting 9th, playing catcher.



• 
  

  Pitcher Change: Joe Nathan replaces Glen Perkins.

1. Jose Bautista homers (12) on a fly ball to left field

• Pitcher

  J. Nathan

• Batter

  J. Bautista

	Speed	Pitch	Result
1	82	Curveball	Called Strike
2	91	Fastball (Four-seam)	Foul
3	92	Fastball (Four-seam)	Foul
4	93	Fastball (Four-seam)	Ball
5	82	Curveball	Ball
6	82	Curveball	Foul
7	86	Slider	Foul
8	92	Fastball (Four-seam)	Ball
9	80	Curveball	Foul
10	90	Fastball (Four-seam)	In play, run(s), hater(s) silenced

(Play-by-play data, much like last night's game itself, brought to us by Major League Baseball.)


I would also like to note the passing of Mel Queen, a longtime member of the Blue Jays in one role or another, from pitching instructor to farm director and pretty much everything in between. His own major league pitching record was an abbreviated 20-17 with a 3.14 ERA, but he was the pitching coach when Hentgen and Clemens were winning Cy Youngs, and he's largely credited with developing Roy Halladay, so yeah, Mel Queen: a guy who knew from pitching. He was but 69.


KS

21-18

Charles I or Luke Hochevar? Take your pick.

Well, That Sucked Part 2

FFFFFFFFFFFFFF

Madison Bumgarner moves to 0-6, Giants snap their winning streak, strike out 11 times against Ryan god damn Dempster, get BABIP'd on both offense and defense, bring in their only terrible bullpen guy to cough up a bunch of insurance runs for the Cubs, and generally look like a bunch of buffoons.

By the way, Madison Bumgarner drew a walk, immediately after Michael Tejada hit a first-pitch ground out. At least Andres Torres looked great.

(Full disclosure: I wrote and posted this in the bottom of the seventh inning.)

Giants Snatch Defeat From Jaws of Completely Blowing it, Sweep D-Backs 3-2

Nate Schierholtz, everybody

The Giants swept their home stand, going 6-0 and taking sole possession of first place in the NL West. They didn't win more than five games in a row all last year. Their current run of winning games without any offense is totally unsustainable, but I'm going to enjoy it while it lasts. Well, not "enjoy," but "begrudgingly accept." Most of these games are no treat to watch.

Giants pitchers with three wins: Tim Lincecum, Matt Cain, Jonathan Sanchez, Brian Wilson. Giants pitchers that are 0-5: Madison Bumgarner.

The Giants got a lot of help from bit players yesterday: Eli Whiteside had a couple of doubles and Nate Schierholz had a three-hit day and the spectacular play you see above. Want to guess how Michael Tejada did? Go ahead, guess. According to Bay City Ball, Tejada isn't the worst Giants shortstop ever, so good for him!

Giants start another road trip in a couple of hours, opening a series at Wrigley today before a pair of two-game series against the Dodgers and Rockies. Short, but important road trip. Really, really hoping the bats wake up at some point in the next few days. There could be dire consequences otherwise.

Giants who are hitting, as of 5/13/11: Andres Torres, Nate Schierholz, Eli Whiteside, Cody Ross (kinda)

Giants who aren't hitting, as of 5/13/11: Freddy Sanchez, Aubrey Huff, Buster Posey, Mike Fontenot, Mark DeRosa, Tejada

Giants who are hitting, but not playing: Pat Burrell

20-18

Brandon Inge rises from the dead to play Aqualung on Matt Capps' femur and then he's gonna gnaw on that fucker's heart because why not? Why not indeed?

Everybody is going to need at least one of these.

My wife, in her infinite wisdom and kindness, correctly perceived that the thing I needed most was not even a thing I knew existed: a Kauro Betto baseball shirt, which I received yesterday for my birthday. Betto, an early Japanese power hitter, is represented here during his earliest years with the Osaka Hanshin Tigers, rather than, you know, with the Hainichi Orions where he became the first ever Pacific League MVP and led the team to the inaugural Japan Series title. (And yes, I am totally going to front like I knew any of this before yesterday.) He was known as "The Gentleman of Baseball," which is outstanding. I am told that the Japanese characters here roughly translate to "Strongly Influential," but I have not checked this with dudes I know who can read Japanese, so it is entirely possible that I have been tricked.


If you are an enthusiast of cinema or of getting high you might recognize this as The Dude's baseball shirt:

Some people on the internet are like "it's not an exact replica of The Dude's shirt because it doesn't have 3/4-length sleeves" but I am firmly of the opinion that you can push them up a little.


KS

Giants Walk Off Yet Again, Beat Diamondbacks 1-0

Graphic representation of tonight's game

So the Giants had their first misstep in Operation: Bat Mike Fontenot Third, as the minuscule miracle didn't reach base and looked a bit uneasy at the plate for the first time in a week. The Giants activated Mark DeRosa and Andres Torres from the DL, sending Emmanuel Burriss and Ryan Rohlinger back to the minors, electing to keep Darren "Vroom" Ford in the injured Pablo Sandoval's spot. This proved to be the correct decision, as in the bottom of the ninth in a scoreless game, Buster Posey took a four-pitch leadoff walk and was replaced by Ford, who stole second and came home easily on Cody Ross's one-out, walk-off hit down the left field line.

Tonight was a true pitcher's duel, as both Tim Lincecum and whoever that was from Arizona tossed gems. The Giants offense helped out what's-his-name though, especially DeRosa. This was DeRo's first chance to prove himself a massive upgrade over Michael Tejada. He actually managed to out-Tejada Tejada at one point, busting a one-pitch, inning-ending double play with the bases loaded in late innings. He also looked to have about the same range as Tejada at third base, which is to say, none. Torres looked great, though, getting a hit and a walk, making good plays in center, and working counts, which is what a leadoff hitter is supposed to do (shorthand: don't be Aaron Rowand).

Tim Lincecum is a joy to watch. It may sound crazy, but every time he takes the mound, I feel like it's possible he'll throw a no-hitter that evening. He's just got everything working so far this year. He was hitless through five today, ended up going eight innings with nine Ks and no earned runs. He deserved the win today, but instead that went to poacher Brian Wilson, who pitched a solid top of the ninth. I really am loving Bochy going with Wilson as the ninth-inning guy, rather than just the closer. It's paid off so far, since the Giants seem to be walk-off machines now. The Giants are just a half-game back in the NL West now. Yeah, it's May. SO WHAT

Here is what the Detroit Tigers did to the Toronto Blue Jays this weekend, in single-slide-from-1987 form.

Endless internet propers to Drunk Jays Fans for the find.


KS

Tigers 10, Blue Jays 5: Toronto I Love You, But You're Bringing Me Down

Brandon Morrow, throwing up a little.

You see 10-5, and you think, hey, a wacky shootout! No. This sucked and was never close after the fourth.


The Blue Jays went up in the first when Jose Bautista plated Corey Patterson on a double and then scurried to third on the throw home -- Jose Bautista is the best, by the way -- and added another run on a Yunel Escobar solo shot in the third. Everything was cool. But then Brandon Morrow got into trouble in the fourth, and with his velocity and arm angle both getting kind of weird, according to manager John Farrell, out came the early hook with two runs already in and the bases loaded. Morrow obviously wasn't wild about getting pulled that early, nor should he have been, but at least he didn't Kevin Gregg his way off the mound (cursing the hook that came from without rather than coming to terms with the hook that dwelt within). Shawn Camp, who has been excellent thus far, allowed all three of those runs to score and threw another one of his own in there for good measure.


It was grim, so with the score 6-2, I decided I would take a break from the action, set my soul at ease with slow songs on the piano, and come back a few innings later when hopefully the Blue Jays had made a game of it, and watch the dramatic conclusion. Except when I came back it was 10-2, because Octavio "Don't Ask" Dotel got ripped in the seventh. I didn't even stick around for the Blue Jays' three runs in the bottom of the ninth. Because who could care.


This team is awful right now, just absolutely brutal. This is a shit-storm with, like, gale-force shit winds; better haul the jib in, lest it grow shittier still. And yet there's Jose Bautista, being utterly amazing despite the futility (and haters) around him, as dialed-in as any hitter I have seen since Barry Bonds retired. Can this last a whole season? Almost certainly not. But Baseball Reference has him as a 3.1 WAR player through twenty-six games this season. And it totally feels that way. This is insane.  


I would like to clumsily add, before bidding the Tigers adieu, that I heard on the radio that the only Detroit Tiger other than Justin Verlander to have two no-hitters is the impeccably named Virgil Trucks, who pitched both in the 1952 season, a year he finished with a 5-19 record. Baseball, man. There is nothing else even a little bit like it.


KS
   

18-18

War Dogs, fuck yeah!

Tigers 5, Blue Jays 2: At Least Jose Bautista is Back

Haters are all "you run funny" and Jose is like "u mad" (to them).

Now that Jose Bautista has returned to the lineup after missing a week with a neck problem, we are apparently back to that thing we had been doing previously where nobody does shit except for Jose Bautista. Were it not for his two-run shot to the second deck in the home half of the third, what good would there be to speak of? Jo-Jo, bless him, lasted seven but allowed an unawesome five runs. Nobody else did much of anything. Adam Lind, who had been raking, is out with a bad back, which suggests that the Blue Jays need to do something about the chairs they are making available in the clubhouse, as they are felling our only sluggers. Felling them! 


KS

17-18

Ross the Boss Releases Kraken, Giants Win 3-0, Sweep Rockies

Cody Ross returned from wherever the hell he went, driving in all three Giants runs, included a pink-batted home run, his first of the year.

Ryan Vogelsong continues to be the best Barry Zito replacement ever, pitching five perfect innings. He ended up going six and a third, giving up two hits and a walk, and nothing else. The Giants bullpen continues their dominance, and the Giants captured their first sweep of the season and...get this...their first Sunday win of the season. Happy Mother's Day, Giants fans!

With the sweep, the Giants now sit only one game behind the Rockies in the National League West. Oh, Michael Tejada went 0-for-3. He's now hitting a blistering .195. Andres Torres and Mark DeRosa return from the DL this week. Tejada will probably be "getting some time off," since Operation: Bat Mike Fontenot Third is rolling steadily along.

Ho-Hum, Another Walkoff Win: Giants over Rockies, 3-2

I heard things

Operation: Bat Mike Fontenot Third had its most palpable results to date. The diminuitive dynamo had a double and a leaping line-drive snag at the most key of moments that, if you don't see it on Web Gems tomorrow, somebody done fucked up. But most importantly, Fontenot came up in a tie game with runners at first and second and nobody out in the bottom of the ninth. He showed bunt, and took a pitch low. He showed bunt, and bunted a pitch foul. He showed bunt, and hit the deck as a wild pitch sailed a foot over his head (so like five feet high) and went to the backstop. The runners advanced to second and third, so you know what Mike Fontenot did? On the next pitch, he busted a deep fly ball to the warning track in right field and he DROVE THAT RUN THE FUCK IN.

That may seem like the most fundamental baseball sense in the world, but that's the type of thing the Giants have not been doing in 2011, and to an extent, something they've been doing the past few years. The Giants of last night and tonight look like a hell of a team. They've been picking themselves off the floor and coming back just when you think there's no way they can. If this team ever starts firing on all cylinders and has all their key players healthy at the same time, look out.

Something else that's really impressed me the past two games: Bruce Bochy isn't afraid to use his closer as a stopper. Brian Wilson has pitched two solid innings in the top of the ninth inning in back-to-back tied games. This is a great way to play baseball. Also, it's clear that Bochy has a much keener grasp on how to handle his bullpen than does Clint Hurdle, and that may have won the game tonight.

The Giants try to avoid the sweep tomorrow. Posey will be wearing pink Mother's Day cleats and some of the B-squad may be starting, as is Bochy's modus operandi when the Giants take the first two games in a three-game series. But the Giants have an off day on Monday, so who knows?

By the way, Michael Tejada: still useless.

16-18 BUT FUCK ALL THAT A NO HITTER Y'ALL

Tigers 9, Blue Jays 0: Justin Verlander No-Hits The Blue Jays to Punish Me for Bullying Neil

The roof was open today, at least.

And he didn't even make it look that hard. Justin Verlander only struck out four, but there were only maybe a half dozen soundly hit balls all afternoon. It was pretty ridiculous. Coming into today's game, Verlander held a career ERA of 6.68 against the Blue Jays, so it was by no means a given that he would own them at all, let alone so utterly. But own them utterly he did. By the time the eighth rolled around, Verlander was still perfect, and he pretty clearly said "fuck it" (in spirit) and started just whipping it in there, touching 101 MPH on the gun on at least three occasions late in the game. After a twelve-pitch battle against J. P. Arencibia, Verlander finally put a runner on, but the walk was then immediately erased on an inning-ending double play ball from my man E5. The ninth proved to be no biggity (I liked the way he worked it, one might say), so what we have here is not just a no-hitter -- the second of Verlander's career, by the way -- but a no-hitter in which Verlander faced the minimum. Not quite twenty-seven up, twenty-seven down, but as close as you can come. 


This is what I get for being mean to Neil.


KS

Catching up with Vernon Wells

Vernon Wells, forlorn. 

Just wondering how the old soldier is making out, you know? Let's have have a look together!


Through 32 games and 142 plate appearances, here's what we've got: .180/.225/.286 for an OPS of .511. But rate stats have never really been Vernon's forté, so let's be sure to take a close look at his counting numbers, too: 24 H, 3 2B, 1 3B, 3 HR, 10 RBI, 7 BB, 29 K, 1 SB, 1 CS, and somewhat miraculously only 1 GIDP. 


That's an OPS+ of 46, and Baseball Reference has Vernon as a -1.1 WAR player through only a fifth of the season. If this trend continues . . . 


Last year, the Blue Jays paid about $15 million for the 4.0 WAR version of Vernon, which is not that bad given the going rate for marginal wins these days (the rising costs of marginal wins, amirite?) This year, the Angels are on the hook for $18 million of Vernon's $23 million (it was ultimately established that the Blue Jays are picking up $5 million, which Anthopolous did his best to keep quiet so as to make it seem more like a baseball trade than a contract-related pillaging, and so as not to hurt Vernon's [baseball] feelings). 


In short, friends, I am here to tell you that the Angels may have made a mistake on this one, if you can believe it. God bless Vernon Wells, and long may he run, but he has been incredibly bad so far, bad beyond even the worst forecasts. Like, you might have gone into this season thinking, "Gee, I bet Vernon Wells is done, what a crazy trade," but would you have believed he would be this bad? I wouldn't have, and I have seen Vernon play some pretty shitty baseball from time to time.


You might well say, but the Angels are in first place, so what do they care? Probably a lot, one would think, because they owe this man $63 million dollars after this season, and he's killing them out there. Mostly I feel bad for Vernon, though, which makes little sense, but such are the ways of the heart I guess.


KS

Giants Do It For Willie, Beat Rockies 4-3

PUMPED

On Willie Mays' 80th birthday, on the day that was declared Willie Mays Day by the mayor of San Francisco, on the day where the Giants are playing their 11th game in a row after a flight from New York last night with the team mired in a hellacious slump on all fronts...there was a stunning, come-from-behind storybook evening. A game that was won on deep at-bats, clutch hits in late innings, sparkling defense, and unlikely heroes. It was...perfect. Eventually, anyway.

Matt Cain pitched 7 strong but gave up three runs to the Rockies, including giving up Troy Tulowitzki's 100th career tater. Unfortunately, the Giants looked as pathetic as ever on offense, going without a hit against Ubaldo Jiminez through the first four innings.

That doesn't really tell the whole story, however. The Giants had really fantastic at-bats all evening. They got Jiminez up to the 100 pitch mark in no time, made him throw a 20+ pitch first inning -- something the Giants never, EVER do -- took a ton of walks even before they got a hit, and just looked unlucky, getting the living daylights BABIP'd out of them. They were blistering pitches, just right at people. Rockies fielders waved their gloves blindly at seeing-eye grounders, which would seeing-eye right into the webbing. The breaks that Giants usually have go against them kept going against them.

BUT THEN in the sixth inning, Operation: Bat Mike Fontenot Third paid off yet again, with the hammerin' Hobbit getting a leadoff triple, then coming home to get the Giants on the board on Posey's fielder's choice. Huff struck out and Pat Burrell picked up his third walk of the night. with two on and two out, Nate Schierholz grounded out. Fontenot also contributed with an AMAZING defensive play in the top of the seventh inning. Mike Tejada had a leadoff single in the bottom of the seventh inning, but karma kicked in and he was left stranded as the Giants got three straight outs.

BUT THEN in the bottom of the eighth, Fontenot flied out, Posey got a big opposite-field single (a "Posey Special"), and Aubrey Huff struck out. With two outs, Pat Burrell had a grinder of an at-bat, then belted a double to Triples Alley (irony!), and a cannon-armed toss held up Posey at third. Darren "Vroom" Ford came in to run for Burrell and here was Nate Schierholz again, batting with two on and two out. He had yet another great at-bat, and doubled down the left-field line and plated both runs, tying the game.

Brian Wilson came in to pitch the top of the ninth, looking like Saturn about to eat his kid's heads. He tossed a seven-pitch inning and then here came the Giants again. Late replacement and slumper supreme Cody Ross led off the bottom of the ninth with a double down the right-field line. Aaron Rowand struck out (on a low slider, shock of shocks), and OTHER supreme slumper Freddy Sanchez came up. With the crowd rocking and rolling and chanting "FREDDY, FREDDY," Sanchez slapped a ball up the middle, just past Tulo's glove and into center field. Ross came roaring around third and scored standing up, one exultant fist held high.

The fireworks went off, Tony Bennett sang, the Giants hopped up and down and whooped and hollered, and I like to think Willie Mays was watching it all with a smile on his face. Earlier today, a thousand sports writers typed tens of thousands of words about what the Say Hey Kid means to baseball, and what he has meant to sports fans and to the world for about the past sixty years. Before the game, Willie shed a few tears as he chatted with his friends and teammates from the Black Barons, and with McCovey and Alou and Gaylord Perry, and listened to glowing words from Jon Miller and Lon Simmons and Tony Bennett and Barack Obama and Bill Clinton and Hank Aaron and Bill Cosby and forty-something thousand fans whose hearts swell with pride knowing that he belongs to them and vice versa, forever. And late tonight, at 24 Willie Mays Plaza, in the most gorgeous ballpark in baseball, a bunch of beat-up and dog-tired slump-stricken ne'er-do-wells -- and defending World Champions, as unlikely as it still seems -- came from behind to beat their hottest division rivals, and bring joy to the hearts of San Francisco fans all over again.

Say Hey! Thanks, Kid.

15-18

Blue Jays 7, Tigers 4: What's up Neil. What. Is up.

Home plate umpire Dale Scott actually just stood there like that for about  a minute, just to be a dickhole (note that he actually did not, and likely is not).

There were early signs that this game had the potential to own. In the top of the first, Juan Rivera, who hit .333 on the last road trip but whom I nevertheless despise, gunned the ball home to J. P. Arencibia, whose diving tag cut down Brennan Boesch to end the inning. Nice.


This trend towards ownership continued in the home half of the first, as the Blue Jays put together a nickel-and-dime inning of banana base hits, humpback line drives and seeing-eye ground balls to put three on the board and baffle onlookers with archaic metaphors. That was all that Jesse Litsch, who is fatter than I remembered, would need, as he allowed only one run on four hits in six and a third innings. Sure, the Tigers would score a handful of unearned and genuinely annoying runs after an Escobar flub (I call them like I see them, mister, and that's a flub) in a near-bat-around ninth, but in the end it was all Fine and the Gang, as every man in this still tragically Bautistaless lineup had at least a hit, putting seven runs on the board, all told. Adam Lind, in particular, continues to just kill it: 2-5 with a home run tonight, bringing his season numbers to .317/.350/.528/.878 with 7 HR and 25 RBI (could those "R's" batted "I" arguably be a byproduct of hitting behind Jose Bautista, whose OBP is I believe 12121.8 thus far? This is something I would posit based on my advanced statistical knowledge of advanced statistics). Is Adam Lind drawing enough walks? Of course he is not. But he is not just whiffing at everything anymore either, nor rolling it to gently to first, nor yet popping it up ineffectually. And so I salute him. 


May I note in closing that it is all well and good for Corey Patterson to go 3-5 -- it is marvelous, in fact! -- but if he is going to get both caught stealing and picked off, he might as well just not bother? Because that is something I feel pretty strongly about.


KS