Blue Jays 10, Indians 8: There Were Like A Zillion Dingerz, Which Is The Ideal Number of Dingerz

middle-infield camaraderie might not mean a damn thing to you McNulty but it means a hell of a lot to me

Woah, dingers! Like so many! Let's see OK there was Jose Bautista's, then J.P. Arencibia hit one into the second deck I believe, then E5 with the mighty three-run wallop, and then finally Colby Rasmus who comes to the plate to what sounds like a parody of contemporary country-radio country music but which is I fear probably just contemporary country-radio country music. There were Indians home runs as well, it is perhaps worth noting, if only in passing. I will not detail them here because I do not want to pretend like I cared about them because intellectual and emotional honesty is important. Mark Buehrle wasn't really any good, which is bad, but he takes a Halladay-esque approach to not fucking around between pitches out there, so I will never ever be mad at him, I promise. There was nifty glove work from Emilio Bonifacio as he smoothly turned two with Jose Reyes, I was told by means of radio communication from Jerry Howarth and (*long inhale*) Jack Morris (*long exhale*) who, I guess I should say, really isn't terrible or anything, but he isn't all that good either, and he sure as heck isn't Alan Ashby, who is, I would argue, the most underrated broadcaster in baseball, and probably like the third or fourth best there even is. The Blue Jays could win ninety games this year (as they of course will) and I would still be like "I miss Alan Ashby" instead of talking about how Jose Bautista has eighty home runs. 

KS

Blue Jays 6, Red Sox 1; Blue Jays 7, Red Sox 3; Blue Jays 15, Red Sox 7: Such Brooms

a faceful of safe actually

Clearly invigorated by the dullest ten-player trade in major league history, Aaron Laffey and my man Carlos Villanueva put together straight-up heroic stars on Friday and Saturday nights to put the Blue Jays in position to sweep away the significantly hated Boston Red Sox today, and holy shit did they ever. I put the game on the radio walking home from the gym this afternoon thinking it would probably be the end of the second, maybe, but no, it was still the top of the bat-around five-run first, which saw Brett Lawrie put the first pitch of the ballgame out of the park, apparently (I mean, this is what they told me, and on the radio that is all I have to go on). Big ups, perhaps the biggest, to Alan Ashby, who found it within himself to call nonsense on the safety squeeze even when it works, even as part of a ridiculous five-run start to a game in a series the Blue Jays had already one; Ashby was like, it worked here, but it often doesn't, and I just don't like that play. Ashby.


All kinds of zany doings in this one, with basically a million dingers, including one from Rajai, which was cool because he also just totally lost a ball in the sun (it was scored a double because baseball is hopeless which is part of its appeal frankly). Just a great big sloppy mess of a great time, in short. I would like to note two things in closing, the first of which is that today is Dave Steib's birthday, and he was an enormous asshole with a great moustache and a filthy slider and one of the best pitchers of the 1980s and a guy who lost no-hitters in the ninth in consecutive starts in absurd circumstances so happy 55th; the second is that even though the internet tells me he does not regularly do this, I am certain that Red Sox shortstop Michael Anthony Avilés came to the plate to "Dance Yourself Clean." Or maybe they were playing it because of something else or something. But I know what I heard, and I liked it.

So yeah, a sweep in Boston, and we're back to a mere three games out of the Wild Card. I have become pretty sure that the Blue Jays are going to hover around .500 and totally dick with my head for the remainder of this 2012 season. It'll be OK.


KS

Brewers 7, Blue Jays 6; Blue Jays 10, Brewers 9; Brewers 8, Blue Jays 3: Look, We Don't Have Any Pitchers

we do however have the above guy

Seriously, that's it. There are no more pitchers. So it is was pretty rad last night that the Blue Jays went dingers bananas, back-to-back twice in the same game. Colby Rasmus has been pretty rad since an adjustment to his swing; E5 is not at the torrid pace he was to begin the season, which, I mean, that's fair; and yeah man Jose Bautista is shaking off a weird start and just straight-up killing it of late. Make no mistake: the Blue Jays are largely boned, as would any team be that had just seen sixty percent of their starting rotation hit the disabled list. But I am ready to just sit back and watch an at-or-near .500 club hit some dang dingers.


KS