There is a girl I used to get high with in high school who is on FB & apparently has navigated middle-age by being a baseball fan. Or maybe she gets high as fuck all the time still, and baseball is actually enjoyable in that state. But she posted a "Curly W" which apparently can be used moving forth as a signifier of a Nationals victory, thus I don't even have to look up shit. I do know, however, that the Nats have one game out of each three-game series they've played this year. I'm no rocket surgeon, but at this pace they will end up having one exactly 1/3 of 162 games, which in most normal seasons does not qualify for the playoffs. No team that has ever not qualified for the playoffs has ever ended up winning the World Series. This could be cause for early alarm, sure, an excited panic that perhaps things are not going as hoped or planned or fuck let's fire somebody but lololol this is baseball in April. Opening Day has happened but baseball season doesn't really start until what, like mid-May? Maybe Memorial Day. The World Series finishes in October, which is six months away. The world could end by then. There may be no America, no baseball by October. It could be chaos in the streets and a multi-ethnic primitive war for survival happening by then. Everything we consider safe and civilized could become completely unraveled in 30 days. And we're going to worry about something that doesn't happen until six months from now? Lolol, no. Not yet.
Nats are 2-4.
Showing posts with label the end of western civilization. Show all posts
Showing posts with label the end of western civilization. Show all posts
Monday, April 13, 2015
Wednesday, September 19, 2012
mathematically eliminated #24 the Seattle Mariners
They are now done apparently. I am not even sure of who is on their team as I have an east coast bias, which is why I wear my right pant leg bunched up around my knee at work, and use my office stapler to staple motherfuckers in the head who look at me wrong at the water cooler. EAST SIDE!
Seriously though, forgive my ignorance, but did the Mariners still exist after they traded away Ichiro Suzuki? Or are they in the Pacific Coast League now? Does the Pacific Coast League still exist? I know Triple-A went from three leagues to two leagues at some point a few years back, but I don't know which one ceased to exist. I grew up an International League man personally, seeing the Richmond Braves play as a little leaguer. Back then it was easy to know who the minor league team was a minor league team for, because they had the same nickname. Nowadays, with hat merchandising, there's no fucking way to tell. I went to a game last year to see Bryce Harper play in Richmond and it was the Richmond Flying Squirrels vs. the Harrisburg Winterfells, and they were hyping up a big weekend series against the Charleston Baby Bo$$e$ with fireworks and some sort of bobblehead promotion. Ultimately, this just furthers my belief that over-marketing has essentially ruined the joy of Western civilization, and now we are just left to suffer the diminishing returns of what we have wrought, until death.
Seriously though, forgive my ignorance, but did the Mariners still exist after they traded away Ichiro Suzuki? Or are they in the Pacific Coast League now? Does the Pacific Coast League still exist? I know Triple-A went from three leagues to two leagues at some point a few years back, but I don't know which one ceased to exist. I grew up an International League man personally, seeing the Richmond Braves play as a little leaguer. Back then it was easy to know who the minor league team was a minor league team for, because they had the same nickname. Nowadays, with hat merchandising, there's no fucking way to tell. I went to a game last year to see Bryce Harper play in Richmond and it was the Richmond Flying Squirrels vs. the Harrisburg Winterfells, and they were hyping up a big weekend series against the Charleston Baby Bo$$e$ with fireworks and some sort of bobblehead promotion. Ultimately, this just furthers my belief that over-marketing has essentially ruined the joy of Western civilization, and now we are just left to suffer the diminishing returns of what we have wrought, until death.
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