Blue Jays 9, Twins 3 (F/11): If You Use One of Those Old-Timey Reel Mowers, You Can Totally Listen to The Game whilst Mowing

An eerily dead-eyed Yunel Escobar scores in the first.

Given how much I enjoy at least the idea of mowing the lawn while listening to the baseball game on my tiny radio (it is also an MP3 player, if you can even believe that), you would think that my lawn would be the most impeccably maintained of any in my neighbourhood, whereas in fact it is probably the worst of the non-rentals. But it is a new spring and I am going to be a better man. Join me in that effort, won't you? I promise that it's going to be great.

Yesterday's game started off looking like a real slop show, and I say "slop" only because I think it would be wrong to utter a profanity right after coming clean about my lawn failings and saying I would strive to be better than I am. So we'll go with "slop," which pretty accurately describes a top of the first that saw a pretty shabby infield single, a wild pitch, an error, and a missed sign on a hit-and-run (it was either that or the worst jump ever) that led to Jose Bautista getting caught in a rundown between first and second. But the Blue Jays came out of it a run ahead, so everything is good, right? Well kind of, but in the bottom of the inning David Cooper messed up a toss to first for another error and a Twins run. Should Jo-Jo have done a better job of getting over to the bag? Maybe. But we have spoken before about how it must be when Jo-Jo is on the hill. Let us not belabour the point.

I have a small lawn, so I didn't take in much more of the game than that before moving on to other Saturday afternoon things, and didn't pick the game back up until we got to extras, specifically the top of the eleventh. When Jerry Howarth told me that Jose Bautista was due up in the inning, I thought, "OK cool, well, Jose will win it, then, awesome." This was not hope; it was expectation. Eventually this kind of hubris will cost me -- baseball feelingly, I mean -- but yesterday was not that day, as Bautista ripped a two-run shot to the haters in the opposite field, which is notable because Bautista pretty much always pulls the ball except for this one time last season which was also at Target field. It was also notable because it owned.

The four other runs the Blue Jays tacked on were almost unseemly, but these things happen. It's also worth noting that Jo-Jo is still looking for his first win in literally years. I would again ask that you pray for him.

KS

I think what I'll miss most is the smugness.

I am a cat enthusiast but there is something about that mouse that speaks to me.

I am abandoning all hope that Blogger will restore what were probably the greatest posts ever by anyone about anything, my recaps of the Blue Jays' recent minisweep of the Boston Red Sox by scores of 7-6 (F/10) and 9-3. It's not the personal loss that bothers me so much as the loss to the culture, to the language. All we have now are the memories. The 7-6 game was bananas, and ended when Rajai Davis stole second and third on consecutive pitches and came home on a David Cooper sacrifice fly in the tenth. Most of what I wanted to talk about, though, was how John Farrell has the team running too much, and into unnecessary outs, because I felt personally aggrieved by a missed sign on a squeeze play in the fourth. A sense of proportion is what I brought to the table. Drabek threw not smoke, but tolerably well. The game had it all: home runs, pickoffs, dudes no less awesome than Carl Crawford getting thrown out at the plate, stolen bases, caught stealingseseses, you name it. The 9-3 game, on the other hand, was a shellacking, and you will note that you almost can't spell "shellacking" without "John Lackey." 


Where the real smugness came in, though, was when I linked to an SI.com piece in which Jon Heyman put for the (correct) argument that the best move in all of baseball over the winter was the Toronto side of the Vernon Wells deal (Vernon I love you but it is true), and Alex Anthopolous' decision to pull the trigger on a moderately priced Jose Bautista extension. On Bautista:


2. Blue Jays sign Jose Bautista to a $65-million, five-year contract extension. Toronto saved themselves tens of millions with this master stroke, building on the brilliance of the Wells deal. Anthopoulos was annihilated at the time, as some figured he was wasting the money saved from the Wells miracle. But by giving big bucks to Bautista, who some figured was a one-year wonder after he hit 54 home runs in 2010, it turns out Anthopoulos kept the player who has turned into a superstar in Toronto. Bautista has not only improved from his alleged career year, he has been the best player in baseball this season. And it's not really close. He has an otherworldly 1.301 OPS overall (and a crazy 1.772 OPS at home). As Rays manager Joe Maddon said, Bautista is like Barry Bonds, circa 2001. Anthopoulos said, "I'm done saying he can't do something. I'm just going to watch and enjoy.'' Bautista really can't be blamed for quickly capitalizing on his out-of-nowhere season. How could anyone have known even better was yet to come? But it looks now like if Bautista had waited, he would have joined Prince Fielder and Albert Pujols in the superstar free-agent market this winter and probably beaten $150 million. And the Jays would have been out of luck.

This is ground that we had covered previously together, Baseball Feelers, but I wanted to share that with you because I am a small man in some ways.


Also the Podzilla era came to a premature end when Scott Podsednik asked for and was granted his release. 


I think that pretty much covers it, although, again, curse you, Blogger. And may you find peace, "Blue Jays 9, Red Sox 3: A Two Game Sweep is Still A Sweep" and "Blue Jays 7, Red Sox 6 (F/10): What Have I Become?" You were too beautiful for this world.


KS 

22-18

Awwwww yeah, this is what you get for batting King Louis cleanup.

Blue Jays 2, Twins 0: Why Can't Every Blue Jay Be Either Ricky Romero or Jose Bautista?

Is it just me or does Rickey Romero have an abnormally small glove?

On a day when Blogger let us down (they say the posts will all come back but I do not understand computers enough to know whether or not to believe them), Ricky Romero did not, taking a no-hitter into the sixth en route to eight-and-two-thirds shut-out innings in what is probably the best start by a Blue Jays pitcher this year (I will not be looking that up). The Blue Jays only runs came on a Juan Rivera single in the seventh to plate Corey Patterson and an absolutely glorious Jose Bautista home run in the ninth after going down 0-2 and battling back in a pretty epic AB:


Top 9

• 
  

  Defensive Substitution: Rene Rivera replaces Ben Revere, batting 9th, playing catcher.



• 
  

  Pitcher Change: Joe Nathan replaces Glen Perkins.

1. Jose Bautista homers (12) on a fly ball to left field

• Pitcher

  J. Nathan

• Batter

  J. Bautista

	Speed	Pitch	Result
1	82	Curveball	Called Strike
2	91	Fastball (Four-seam)	Foul
3	92	Fastball (Four-seam)	Foul
4	93	Fastball (Four-seam)	Ball
5	82	Curveball	Ball
6	82	Curveball	Foul
7	86	Slider	Foul
8	92	Fastball (Four-seam)	Ball
9	80	Curveball	Foul
10	90	Fastball (Four-seam)	In play, run(s), hater(s) silenced

(Play-by-play data, much like last night's game itself, brought to us by Major League Baseball.)


I would also like to note the passing of Mel Queen, a longtime member of the Blue Jays in one role or another, from pitching instructor to farm director and pretty much everything in between. His own major league pitching record was an abbreviated 20-17 with a 3.14 ERA, but he was the pitching coach when Hentgen and Clemens were winning Cy Youngs, and he's largely credited with developing Roy Halladay, so yeah, Mel Queen: a guy who knew from pitching. He was but 69.


KS

21-18

Charles I or Luke Hochevar? Take your pick.

Well, That Sucked Part 2

FFFFFFFFFFFFFF

Madison Bumgarner moves to 0-6, Giants snap their winning streak, strike out 11 times against Ryan god damn Dempster, get BABIP'd on both offense and defense, bring in their only terrible bullpen guy to cough up a bunch of insurance runs for the Cubs, and generally look like a bunch of buffoons.

By the way, Madison Bumgarner drew a walk, immediately after Michael Tejada hit a first-pitch ground out. At least Andres Torres looked great.

(Full disclosure: I wrote and posted this in the bottom of the seventh inning.)

Giants Snatch Defeat From Jaws of Completely Blowing it, Sweep D-Backs 3-2

Nate Schierholtz, everybody

The Giants swept their home stand, going 6-0 and taking sole possession of first place in the NL West. They didn't win more than five games in a row all last year. Their current run of winning games without any offense is totally unsustainable, but I'm going to enjoy it while it lasts. Well, not "enjoy," but "begrudgingly accept." Most of these games are no treat to watch.

Giants pitchers with three wins: Tim Lincecum, Matt Cain, Jonathan Sanchez, Brian Wilson. Giants pitchers that are 0-5: Madison Bumgarner.

The Giants got a lot of help from bit players yesterday: Eli Whiteside had a couple of doubles and Nate Schierholz had a three-hit day and the spectacular play you see above. Want to guess how Michael Tejada did? Go ahead, guess. According to Bay City Ball, Tejada isn't the worst Giants shortstop ever, so good for him!

Giants start another road trip in a couple of hours, opening a series at Wrigley today before a pair of two-game series against the Dodgers and Rockies. Short, but important road trip. Really, really hoping the bats wake up at some point in the next few days. There could be dire consequences otherwise.

Giants who are hitting, as of 5/13/11: Andres Torres, Nate Schierholz, Eli Whiteside, Cody Ross (kinda)

Giants who aren't hitting, as of 5/13/11: Freddy Sanchez, Aubrey Huff, Buster Posey, Mike Fontenot, Mark DeRosa, Tejada

Giants who are hitting, but not playing: Pat Burrell

20-18

Brandon Inge rises from the dead to play Aqualung on Matt Capps' femur and then he's gonna gnaw on that fucker's heart because why not? Why not indeed?

Everybody is going to need at least one of these.

My wife, in her infinite wisdom and kindness, correctly perceived that the thing I needed most was not even a thing I knew existed: a Kauro Betto baseball shirt, which I received yesterday for my birthday. Betto, an early Japanese power hitter, is represented here during his earliest years with the Osaka Hanshin Tigers, rather than, you know, with the Hainichi Orions where he became the first ever Pacific League MVP and led the team to the inaugural Japan Series title. (And yes, I am totally going to front like I knew any of this before yesterday.) He was known as "The Gentleman of Baseball," which is outstanding. I am told that the Japanese characters here roughly translate to "Strongly Influential," but I have not checked this with dudes I know who can read Japanese, so it is entirely possible that I have been tricked.


If you are an enthusiast of cinema or of getting high you might recognize this as The Dude's baseball shirt:

Some people on the internet are like "it's not an exact replica of The Dude's shirt because it doesn't have 3/4-length sleeves" but I am firmly of the opinion that you can push them up a little.


KS

Giants Walk Off Yet Again, Beat Diamondbacks 1-0

Graphic representation of tonight's game

So the Giants had their first misstep in Operation: Bat Mike Fontenot Third, as the minuscule miracle didn't reach base and looked a bit uneasy at the plate for the first time in a week. The Giants activated Mark DeRosa and Andres Torres from the DL, sending Emmanuel Burriss and Ryan Rohlinger back to the minors, electing to keep Darren "Vroom" Ford in the injured Pablo Sandoval's spot. This proved to be the correct decision, as in the bottom of the ninth in a scoreless game, Buster Posey took a four-pitch leadoff walk and was replaced by Ford, who stole second and came home easily on Cody Ross's one-out, walk-off hit down the left field line.

Tonight was a true pitcher's duel, as both Tim Lincecum and whoever that was from Arizona tossed gems. The Giants offense helped out what's-his-name though, especially DeRosa. This was DeRo's first chance to prove himself a massive upgrade over Michael Tejada. He actually managed to out-Tejada Tejada at one point, busting a one-pitch, inning-ending double play with the bases loaded in late innings. He also looked to have about the same range as Tejada at third base, which is to say, none. Torres looked great, though, getting a hit and a walk, making good plays in center, and working counts, which is what a leadoff hitter is supposed to do (shorthand: don't be Aaron Rowand).

Tim Lincecum is a joy to watch. It may sound crazy, but every time he takes the mound, I feel like it's possible he'll throw a no-hitter that evening. He's just got everything working so far this year. He was hitless through five today, ended up going eight innings with nine Ks and no earned runs. He deserved the win today, but instead that went to poacher Brian Wilson, who pitched a solid top of the ninth. I really am loving Bochy going with Wilson as the ninth-inning guy, rather than just the closer. It's paid off so far, since the Giants seem to be walk-off machines now. The Giants are just a half-game back in the NL West now. Yeah, it's May. SO WHAT

Here is what the Detroit Tigers did to the Toronto Blue Jays this weekend, in single-slide-from-1987 form.

Endless internet propers to Drunk Jays Fans for the find.


KS

Tigers 10, Blue Jays 5: Toronto I Love You, But You're Bringing Me Down

Brandon Morrow, throwing up a little.

You see 10-5, and you think, hey, a wacky shootout! No. This sucked and was never close after the fourth.


The Blue Jays went up in the first when Jose Bautista plated Corey Patterson on a double and then scurried to third on the throw home -- Jose Bautista is the best, by the way -- and added another run on a Yunel Escobar solo shot in the third. Everything was cool. But then Brandon Morrow got into trouble in the fourth, and with his velocity and arm angle both getting kind of weird, according to manager John Farrell, out came the early hook with two runs already in and the bases loaded. Morrow obviously wasn't wild about getting pulled that early, nor should he have been, but at least he didn't Kevin Gregg his way off the mound (cursing the hook that came from without rather than coming to terms with the hook that dwelt within). Shawn Camp, who has been excellent thus far, allowed all three of those runs to score and threw another one of his own in there for good measure.


It was grim, so with the score 6-2, I decided I would take a break from the action, set my soul at ease with slow songs on the piano, and come back a few innings later when hopefully the Blue Jays had made a game of it, and watch the dramatic conclusion. Except when I came back it was 10-2, because Octavio "Don't Ask" Dotel got ripped in the seventh. I didn't even stick around for the Blue Jays' three runs in the bottom of the ninth. Because who could care.


This team is awful right now, just absolutely brutal. This is a shit-storm with, like, gale-force shit winds; better haul the jib in, lest it grow shittier still. And yet there's Jose Bautista, being utterly amazing despite the futility (and haters) around him, as dialed-in as any hitter I have seen since Barry Bonds retired. Can this last a whole season? Almost certainly not. But Baseball Reference has him as a 3.1 WAR player through twenty-six games this season. And it totally feels that way. This is insane.  


I would like to clumsily add, before bidding the Tigers adieu, that I heard on the radio that the only Detroit Tiger other than Justin Verlander to have two no-hitters is the impeccably named Virgil Trucks, who pitched both in the 1952 season, a year he finished with a 5-19 record. Baseball, man. There is nothing else even a little bit like it.


KS
   

18-18

War Dogs, fuck yeah!

Tigers 5, Blue Jays 2: At Least Jose Bautista is Back

Haters are all "you run funny" and Jose is like "u mad" (to them).

Now that Jose Bautista has returned to the lineup after missing a week with a neck problem, we are apparently back to that thing we had been doing previously where nobody does shit except for Jose Bautista. Were it not for his two-run shot to the second deck in the home half of the third, what good would there be to speak of? Jo-Jo, bless him, lasted seven but allowed an unawesome five runs. Nobody else did much of anything. Adam Lind, who had been raking, is out with a bad back, which suggests that the Blue Jays need to do something about the chairs they are making available in the clubhouse, as they are felling our only sluggers. Felling them! 


KS

17-18

Ross the Boss Releases Kraken, Giants Win 3-0, Sweep Rockies

Cody Ross returned from wherever the hell he went, driving in all three Giants runs, included a pink-batted home run, his first of the year.

Ryan Vogelsong continues to be the best Barry Zito replacement ever, pitching five perfect innings. He ended up going six and a third, giving up two hits and a walk, and nothing else. The Giants bullpen continues their dominance, and the Giants captured their first sweep of the season and...get this...their first Sunday win of the season. Happy Mother's Day, Giants fans!

With the sweep, the Giants now sit only one game behind the Rockies in the National League West. Oh, Michael Tejada went 0-for-3. He's now hitting a blistering .195. Andres Torres and Mark DeRosa return from the DL this week. Tejada will probably be "getting some time off," since Operation: Bat Mike Fontenot Third is rolling steadily along.

Ho-Hum, Another Walkoff Win: Giants over Rockies, 3-2

I heard things

Operation: Bat Mike Fontenot Third had its most palpable results to date. The diminuitive dynamo had a double and a leaping line-drive snag at the most key of moments that, if you don't see it on Web Gems tomorrow, somebody done fucked up. But most importantly, Fontenot came up in a tie game with runners at first and second and nobody out in the bottom of the ninth. He showed bunt, and took a pitch low. He showed bunt, and bunted a pitch foul. He showed bunt, and hit the deck as a wild pitch sailed a foot over his head (so like five feet high) and went to the backstop. The runners advanced to second and third, so you know what Mike Fontenot did? On the next pitch, he busted a deep fly ball to the warning track in right field and he DROVE THAT RUN THE FUCK IN.

That may seem like the most fundamental baseball sense in the world, but that's the type of thing the Giants have not been doing in 2011, and to an extent, something they've been doing the past few years. The Giants of last night and tonight look like a hell of a team. They've been picking themselves off the floor and coming back just when you think there's no way they can. If this team ever starts firing on all cylinders and has all their key players healthy at the same time, look out.

Something else that's really impressed me the past two games: Bruce Bochy isn't afraid to use his closer as a stopper. Brian Wilson has pitched two solid innings in the top of the ninth inning in back-to-back tied games. This is a great way to play baseball. Also, it's clear that Bochy has a much keener grasp on how to handle his bullpen than does Clint Hurdle, and that may have won the game tonight.

The Giants try to avoid the sweep tomorrow. Posey will be wearing pink Mother's Day cleats and some of the B-squad may be starting, as is Bochy's modus operandi when the Giants take the first two games in a three-game series. But the Giants have an off day on Monday, so who knows?

By the way, Michael Tejada: still useless.

16-18 BUT FUCK ALL THAT A NO HITTER Y'ALL

Tigers 9, Blue Jays 0: Justin Verlander No-Hits The Blue Jays to Punish Me for Bullying Neil

The roof was open today, at least.

And he didn't even make it look that hard. Justin Verlander only struck out four, but there were only maybe a half dozen soundly hit balls all afternoon. It was pretty ridiculous. Coming into today's game, Verlander held a career ERA of 6.68 against the Blue Jays, so it was by no means a given that he would own them at all, let alone so utterly. But own them utterly he did. By the time the eighth rolled around, Verlander was still perfect, and he pretty clearly said "fuck it" (in spirit) and started just whipping it in there, touching 101 MPH on the gun on at least three occasions late in the game. After a twelve-pitch battle against J. P. Arencibia, Verlander finally put a runner on, but the walk was then immediately erased on an inning-ending double play ball from my man E5. The ninth proved to be no biggity (I liked the way he worked it, one might say), so what we have here is not just a no-hitter -- the second of Verlander's career, by the way -- but a no-hitter in which Verlander faced the minimum. Not quite twenty-seven up, twenty-seven down, but as close as you can come. 


This is what I get for being mean to Neil.


KS

Catching up with Vernon Wells

Vernon Wells, forlorn. 

Just wondering how the old soldier is making out, you know? Let's have have a look together!


Through 32 games and 142 plate appearances, here's what we've got: .180/.225/.286 for an OPS of .511. But rate stats have never really been Vernon's forté, so let's be sure to take a close look at his counting numbers, too: 24 H, 3 2B, 1 3B, 3 HR, 10 RBI, 7 BB, 29 K, 1 SB, 1 CS, and somewhat miraculously only 1 GIDP. 


That's an OPS+ of 46, and Baseball Reference has Vernon as a -1.1 WAR player through only a fifth of the season. If this trend continues . . . 


Last year, the Blue Jays paid about $15 million for the 4.0 WAR version of Vernon, which is not that bad given the going rate for marginal wins these days (the rising costs of marginal wins, amirite?) This year, the Angels are on the hook for $18 million of Vernon's $23 million (it was ultimately established that the Blue Jays are picking up $5 million, which Anthopolous did his best to keep quiet so as to make it seem more like a baseball trade than a contract-related pillaging, and so as not to hurt Vernon's [baseball] feelings). 


In short, friends, I am here to tell you that the Angels may have made a mistake on this one, if you can believe it. God bless Vernon Wells, and long may he run, but he has been incredibly bad so far, bad beyond even the worst forecasts. Like, you might have gone into this season thinking, "Gee, I bet Vernon Wells is done, what a crazy trade," but would you have believed he would be this bad? I wouldn't have, and I have seen Vernon play some pretty shitty baseball from time to time.


You might well say, but the Angels are in first place, so what do they care? Probably a lot, one would think, because they owe this man $63 million dollars after this season, and he's killing them out there. Mostly I feel bad for Vernon, though, which makes little sense, but such are the ways of the heart I guess.


KS

Giants Do It For Willie, Beat Rockies 4-3

PUMPED

On Willie Mays' 80th birthday, on the day that was declared Willie Mays Day by the mayor of San Francisco, on the day where the Giants are playing their 11th game in a row after a flight from New York last night with the team mired in a hellacious slump on all fronts...there was a stunning, come-from-behind storybook evening. A game that was won on deep at-bats, clutch hits in late innings, sparkling defense, and unlikely heroes. It was...perfect. Eventually, anyway.

Matt Cain pitched 7 strong but gave up three runs to the Rockies, including giving up Troy Tulowitzki's 100th career tater. Unfortunately, the Giants looked as pathetic as ever on offense, going without a hit against Ubaldo Jiminez through the first four innings.

That doesn't really tell the whole story, however. The Giants had really fantastic at-bats all evening. They got Jiminez up to the 100 pitch mark in no time, made him throw a 20+ pitch first inning -- something the Giants never, EVER do -- took a ton of walks even before they got a hit, and just looked unlucky, getting the living daylights BABIP'd out of them. They were blistering pitches, just right at people. Rockies fielders waved their gloves blindly at seeing-eye grounders, which would seeing-eye right into the webbing. The breaks that Giants usually have go against them kept going against them.

BUT THEN in the sixth inning, Operation: Bat Mike Fontenot Third paid off yet again, with the hammerin' Hobbit getting a leadoff triple, then coming home to get the Giants on the board on Posey's fielder's choice. Huff struck out and Pat Burrell picked up his third walk of the night. with two on and two out, Nate Schierholz grounded out. Fontenot also contributed with an AMAZING defensive play in the top of the seventh inning. Mike Tejada had a leadoff single in the bottom of the seventh inning, but karma kicked in and he was left stranded as the Giants got three straight outs.

BUT THEN in the bottom of the eighth, Fontenot flied out, Posey got a big opposite-field single (a "Posey Special"), and Aubrey Huff struck out. With two outs, Pat Burrell had a grinder of an at-bat, then belted a double to Triples Alley (irony!), and a cannon-armed toss held up Posey at third. Darren "Vroom" Ford came in to run for Burrell and here was Nate Schierholz again, batting with two on and two out. He had yet another great at-bat, and doubled down the left-field line and plated both runs, tying the game.

Brian Wilson came in to pitch the top of the ninth, looking like Saturn about to eat his kid's heads. He tossed a seven-pitch inning and then here came the Giants again. Late replacement and slumper supreme Cody Ross led off the bottom of the ninth with a double down the right-field line. Aaron Rowand struck out (on a low slider, shock of shocks), and OTHER supreme slumper Freddy Sanchez came up. With the crowd rocking and rolling and chanting "FREDDY, FREDDY," Sanchez slapped a ball up the middle, just past Tulo's glove and into center field. Ross came roaring around third and scored standing up, one exultant fist held high.

The fireworks went off, Tony Bennett sang, the Giants hopped up and down and whooped and hollered, and I like to think Willie Mays was watching it all with a smile on his face. Earlier today, a thousand sports writers typed tens of thousands of words about what the Say Hey Kid means to baseball, and what he has meant to sports fans and to the world for about the past sixty years. Before the game, Willie shed a few tears as he chatted with his friends and teammates from the Black Barons, and with McCovey and Alou and Gaylord Perry, and listened to glowing words from Jon Miller and Lon Simmons and Tony Bennett and Barack Obama and Bill Clinton and Hank Aaron and Bill Cosby and forty-something thousand fans whose hearts swell with pride knowing that he belongs to them and vice versa, forever. And late tonight, at 24 Willie Mays Plaza, in the most gorgeous ballpark in baseball, a bunch of beat-up and dog-tired slump-stricken ne'er-do-wells -- and defending World Champions, as unlikely as it still seems -- came from behind to beat their hottest division rivals, and bring joy to the hearts of San Francisco fans all over again.

Say Hey! Thanks, Kid.

15-18

Blue Jays 7, Tigers 4: What's up Neil. What. Is up.

Home plate umpire Dale Scott actually just stood there like that for about  a minute, just to be a dickhole (note that he actually did not, and likely is not).

There were early signs that this game had the potential to own. In the top of the first, Juan Rivera, who hit .333 on the last road trip but whom I nevertheless despise, gunned the ball home to J. P. Arencibia, whose diving tag cut down Brennan Boesch to end the inning. Nice.


This trend towards ownership continued in the home half of the first, as the Blue Jays put together a nickel-and-dime inning of banana base hits, humpback line drives and seeing-eye ground balls to put three on the board and baffle onlookers with archaic metaphors. That was all that Jesse Litsch, who is fatter than I remembered, would need, as he allowed only one run on four hits in six and a third innings. Sure, the Tigers would score a handful of unearned and genuinely annoying runs after an Escobar flub (I call them like I see them, mister, and that's a flub) in a near-bat-around ninth, but in the end it was all Fine and the Gang, as every man in this still tragically Bautistaless lineup had at least a hit, putting seven runs on the board, all told. Adam Lind, in particular, continues to just kill it: 2-5 with a home run tonight, bringing his season numbers to .317/.350/.528/.878 with 7 HR and 25 RBI (could those "R's" batted "I" arguably be a byproduct of hitting behind Jose Bautista, whose OBP is I believe 12121.8 thus far? This is something I would posit based on my advanced statistical knowledge of advanced statistics). Is Adam Lind drawing enough walks? Of course he is not. But he is not just whiffing at everything anymore either, nor rolling it to gently to first, nor yet popping it up ineffectually. And so I salute him. 


May I note in closing that it is all well and good for Corey Patterson to go 3-5 -- it is marvelous, in fact! -- but if he is going to get both caught stealing and picked off, he might as well just not bother? Because that is something I feel pretty strongly about.


KS

Rays 3, Blue Jays 1: It doesn't matter.

It does not even.

It doesn't matter that Kyle Drabek threw some measure of smoke yesterday, because David Price was on the hill for the Rays, and David Price always beats the Blue Jays. It doesn't even matter.


KS

Giants Avoid Sweep, Fall to Mets 5-2

Babe Fontenot

That was...decidedly less fun.

Once again, the Giants fail to sweep, but end up coming off their ten-game road trip going 5-5, and I'll take it. How they managed to win five games playing as badly as they did for the past two weeks either says a lot about how good the 2011 Giants are, or how bad the 2011 Pirates, Nationals, and Mets are.

Operation: Bat Mike Fontenot Third continues to bear fruit, with Lil' Fontie going 1 for 2 with two walks and a big fly. Huff went hitless again, and the B-squad of Whiteside, Schierholz and Burriss did about what you'd expect. (Nothing.) Cody Ross continues to come up short in big situations, even after shaving and going to long pants. WHAT ELSE CAN HE DO YOU GUYS

The real loser was Jonathan Sanchez, who turned in what, honestly, was probably only his third-most Jonathan Sanchez-esque outing this season, walking the eight and nine hitters with two out before giving up a triple to Jose Reyes, and giving up a rare home run to Carlos Beltran. He continues to be all over the place, walking scores of hitters. To make matters worse, he didn't bother running on a terrible, terrible bunt attempt and bunted into a "lol we've got all day" inning-ending double-play. Bochy openly yelled at him in the dugout after that, and I hope he used his choicest and most insulting cusses. Bochy is scheduled to have a "private meeting" with Sanchez in the next couple days, and I'm going to assume that means taking him out back and giving him a blanket party.

Hank Schulman is under the impression that Mark DeRosa will be getting a chance to replace Mike Tejada at third base. That's fine in theory, as a trained sea elephant and most untrained walruses could turn in the type of performance that Tejada has shown thus far, but Mark DeRosa is essentially Mr. Glass from "Unbreakable." If he lasts a month without going on the DL again I'll be shocked.

The esteemed Mr. Tejada went 0 for 4 yesterday, notably coming up in the top of the ninth with the Giants down three runs, 1 out and the bases loaded. He struck out. It should be noted that he worked the count and did not ground into a double play, so the argument could be made that this is a vast improvement. It should also be noted that the next batter was pinch-hittin' Buster Posey, who grounded out. But it should ALSO also be noted that Tejada stinks and I can't imagine the Giants aren't thinking about cutting their losses and going with Sluggin' Mike Fontenot and whatever else they have once Sandoval returns from having surgery on his hamate bone. (It's the bone Sandoval uses to eat ham, so you know it's got a lot of wear on it.)

15-17

Blue Jays 3, Rays 2: When Brandon Morrow Touches 98 MPH on The Gun, Something Touches The Front of My Pants (From The Inside)

Joe Maddon: gone, but not alone in goneness.

Kind of a weird one! John Farrell got tossed after mildly objecting to the location of a close pitch in the seventh, Joe Maddon got ejected before he could even really get heated up over a call at first that got reversed in the same inning (all coming off a truly miserable throw from E5, by the way), and B. J. Upton . . . well, he totally got his money's worth: tossed, but only after flipping out at home-plate umpire Chad Fairchild about some truly funny looking strikes. It did not take much of a lipreader to figure out Upton's grievance: "That was horseshit. That was horseshit, and you know it was horseshit." That could well be, but I still think he'll get suspended. 


But for all those shenanigans, let us not lose sight of what is truly important here: Adam Lind continues to rake (4-4 with a HR), Brandon Morrow pitched into the seventh and only allowed one run (5H, 4BB, 7K), and Juan Rivera -- Juan Rivera -- made a great play on a ball that got stuck in the base of the wall in left, gunning it into Escobar, who in turn threw a nice little one-hopper that Molina handled beautifully, blocking the plate to get the always-awesome Johnny Damon at the dish. Note that I still hate Juan Rivera, but also note that that was tight.   


Kyle Drabek goes tomorrow, and if he can keep from walking everybody, I like our chances.


KS

14-17

Giants Strike Out 16, Win 2-0

Ace.

Mercy me but don't these last two games feel wonderful. "Operation: Bat Mike Fontenot Third in the Order" continues to be a rousing success. The mighty little hobbit was 1 for 3 but had two walks, an RBI, a run scored and had by far the best Giants at-bats of the evening. Huff has officially snapped his streak, going 3 for4.

There was a whole section of Giants fans at Citi Field tonight, whooping and hollering the whole game and being generally awesome. If you were at a Mets game, you probably wouldn't cheer the Mets, either.

But of course, the real story tonight is the almighty Tim Lincecum, who had trouble locating early but went seven strong, 128 pitches, 12 Ks, no earned runs. He has now passed Christy Mathewson for the most-ever 10+ K games by a Giants pitcher. Mathewson pitched over 500 games with the Giants. Lincecum has pitched 129. Clearly, Lincecum is way better than Hall of Famer Christy Mathewson, one of the greatest pitchers who ever lived. I told you guys to watch, but you didn't listen, did you?

Brian Wilson also looked the best he's looked in a real, real long time, striking out the first two batters he faced on six pitches. He only needed 12 pitches to get the save, and man alive was this ever dominance by San Francisco pitching. The only member of the Mets starting lineup without a strikeout was Carlos Beltran. Even Jose Reyes went 0-for-4 after reaching base six times last night.

The bad news, part one: Giants were 2 for 11 with runners in scoring position. Not terrible news, since it's a lot better than they WERE.

The bad news, part two: Buster Posey has not broken out of his slump quite yet, going 0 for 5 again tonight.

The bad news, part three: obviously, I have to discuss Tejada. He always manages to scratch out one hit a night, it seems, just enough to stay above .200, but it always comes in a worthless situation (2 outs, no one on, pitcher coming up next), or produce the wrong effect (runner on third, infield in, hits a slow topper and legs it out, runner frozen at third). Honestly, whenever he manages to get on base, it seems to kill rallies dead. He's not hitting for power, he's not placing the ball, he's not making solid contact, he lacks the ability to hit a sacrifice fly, and his defense could best be compared to a bucket laying on its side with "Mike" written on the side in magic marker. You'd think I'd run out of things to say about how terrible he is, but here we are.

Giants go for the sweep bright and early tomorrow, then finally head home. Humm baby.

Rays 3, Blue Jays 2: Jo-Jo Deserved Better

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Hilarious Lineup Boosts Giants Over Mets, 7-6

That was a hell of a game, and a different type of game than the Giants have played on the road trip thus far. It's a win they sorely needed, though both the Giants and the Mets took turns trying to give the thing a way. There were a ton of storylines converging in this one, so I'll try to tackle them one at a time.

The Giants lineup was something...different today. Tejada was batting second, Mike Fontenot (of the Shire) was batting third, and the notoriously light-hitting Emmanuel Burriss and Nate Schierholz started the game as well. Given the way the Giants have been hitting -- or more accurately, not hitting -- for the past ten games or so, I honestly thought R.A. Dickey was going to pitch a perfect game against them. These Giants of late have two approaches: either hack at the first pitch and make an out, or hack at three pitches and miss them all. According to the tireless Andrew Baggarly, Bochy arranged the lineup according to past success against knuckleballers. Well, okay. We'll get to Tejada in a moment, but the lineup eventually produced key RsBI from Fontenot, Burriss, and pitcher Ryan Vogelsong. The first seven games of this road trip had the Giants going 3-for-42 with runners in scoring position. Last night, they were 5-for-16 with runners in scoring position. That is an uptick, if nothing else.

The Giants did squander an amazing opportunity last night. After Burriss and pinch-hitter Darren Ford reached base with consecutive infield singles, the Giants had runners at the corners with the score tied 6-6 with no one out. The big go-ahead run was ninety feet from scoring. A well-placed ground ball or medium-depth fly ball would score the speedy Burriss. First up was Aaron Rowand, the hot hand of late, who popped out in foul territory just behind first base. Next up was number-two hitter Mike Tejada, who has looked absolutely awful basically since the moment the season began. He made a nearly-sparkling and important defensive play early in the game, but had grounded out weakly in his first three trips to the plate last night. The first ground-out was a one-hopper that landed a few feet in front of the pitcher, who threw on to first for the put-out. Upon hitting that ball, Tejada lunged toward first in an attempt to leg it out, then grabbed at his foot and weakly protested that he had fouled the ball off his toe. No one bought it at all. So here he was, the goat of all Giants, who had not gotten the ball out of the infield all evening, attempting to launch a fly ball and give the Giants the lead.

He popped out to second base.

Next up was Mike Fontenot, who was intentionally walked after Ford stole second. The Mets chose to pitch to Posey instead, and their gambit paid off, as he popped out to shallow center. Bruce Bochy, for the first time I've seen since he's been skipper of the Giants, was FURIOUS at this insanely pathetic display, screaming cusses and kicking at the steps of the dugout. My respect for Bochy grew by about a million percent. I don't know how he kept his composure this long. I would have chased Tejada around the clubhouse with a bat a week ago. To compound Bochy's frustration, Rowand had to come out of the game in the bottom of the ninth with tightness in his back. The only defensive replacement left? Pat Burrell. I was certain the game was about to end after a pair of doubles down the left-field line, especially since LOOGY Javier Lopez was left in to pitch the entire ninth, but got out of trouble nicely.

Ryan Vogelsong did not pitch well, giving up a pair of lead-changing home runs in a back-and-forth game, and having a lot of trouble locating all night. He only lasted four innings, but he did pick up a vital base hit with RISP. He doesn't get that hit and the Giants don't win. He still probably pitched a better game than Zito would have.

The rampant rumors flying around this week are that the Giants and Mets are talking about a potential trade for Jose Reyes, since Fontenot is doing a fine job but is a natural second baseman, and their other "shortstop" is the flummoxed crybaby with "TEJADA" on the back of his road grays. Reports indicate the Mets may be willing to part with Reyes in exchange for pitching prospect Zach Wheeler and a little more. The Giants would probably jump at that if they were also able to get an exclusive negotiating period with Reyes, who becomes a free agent at the end of the year. Still, I'd give up Wheeler to get a worst-case-scenario Reyes rental for the rest of the year. But that's just me. AND EVERY OTHER GIANTS FAN. Reyes, for his part, had to be aware of the rumors, and just to taunt the Giants, he reached base in all six plate appearances last night, going 3-for-3 with 3 walks, a stolen base and some RsBI.

Aubrey Huff snapped a nifty 0-for-20 slump with a huge bomb to right field to lead off the top of the tenth. Thanks to a relatively stress-free bottom of the tenth for Brian Wilson (he went to a full count with only three of the four batters he faced), the Giants had this one in the bag. Simple!

Lincecum is on the hill today, so tune in. Always a potential for something special on Lincecum Day.

13-17

12-17

Just the Absolute Worst

Bumgarner finally has not just a good outing, but a spectacular one. But the only two runs of the game come after Tejada lets a routine grounder -- which would have been the third out of the inning -- get through his legs. This comes one day after Tejada ends a rally with a weak grounder...AFTER BEING GIVEN THE TAKE SIGN on a 3-0 count.

Not that the Giants offense was there to lend a hand, though. Rowand leads off today's game with a double, gets bunted over to third, and Posey and Burrell pull two grounders to third. That's as close as the Giants came to scoring a run all evening.

It's not panic time -- the Giants have two of their best players on the DL, everyone is slumping like mad, the starting pitching is unsustainably uneven, the Nationals played out-of-their-minds good defense all series, and the Giants have been getting BABIP'd to death. But it is time to be furious at how poorly things are going. Tejada is actively hurting the Giants by being on the field.

A series against the Mets begins tomorrow. The Giants are 3-4 so far on this road trip. Things...could be worse. Somehow.

Yankees 5, Blue Jays 2: I Think It Was The Four-Run Fifth That Did It

This, however, happened in the first.

A day after I complained about too much running, Rajai Davis stole second and third in the same inning, and it was so cool. Is this why I am so bad at Baseball Mogul? I don't know. Here's what I do know: Jesse Litsch didn't have his best stuff; Adam Lind hit a home run which was awesome but Mark Teixeira and Curtis Granderson did also and it was terrible; and Jose Bautista left the game early with tightness in his neck.


This concerns me. As a person who has suffered from pretty serious neck pain at a couple of points in my life, I can tell Jose Bautista that what begins as mere tightness can quickly escalate to the point where you're in so much pain it takes you no less than ten minutes to get out of bed. Next thing you know, it's a major production to get outside to sit under your shade tree on a hot day. And before long, you are sending your regrets and totally missing M.'s wedding because there's no way you could sit in a car for anywhere near the three hours it would take to get there. And you really like M. She's cool. 


Be careful with this, Jose. That's all I'm saying. This could be the break the haters are looking for.


KS

12-16

Yankees 5, Blue Jays 4: It is Wrong of Me to Always Expect Kyle Drabek to Throw Smoke

Rajai Davis, a guy who just got picked off.

Kyle Drabek didn't have it at all yesterday, and didn't even make it out of third inning. Against all odds, however, this game ended up being kind of a honey anyway. Drabek's five runs in two-and-a-third is actually kind of a miracle, in that he gave up seven hits and four walks (league leader, baby!) and just looked awful. It could have been much worse. Some close calls went against him, but that's the way it goes when you're a rookie starter and you're facing a team of rad veterans. This is unjust, but it is also fine. The bullpen, once again, was great: Frasor (in the third? how the relatively mighty have fallen a little), Camp, Rzepczynski, and Francisco combined to allow no hits and only two base runners the rest of the way, which put the Blue Jays in a position to beg, borrow and steal their way back into it. 


On the stealing, actually: stop it. This is crazy. Dudes are getting picked off constantly, and if I see another inning end on a strike-'em-out-throw-'em-out at third base I am going to keep on making frustrated noises at the radio and, later, highlights on my computer. And you don't want that.


To the bats, then: things started well enough on the day with Rajai Davis' lead-off triple, which is actually way better than a lead-off home run from an aesthetic perspective. In the second, Juan Rivera extended his hitting streak to nine but I hate him anyway. Bautista, also an object of hate but not from me, ripped a double and stole third, which owned. Then, and most notably, I think, Mike McCoy (who is only as God made him) decided to get all awesome, hitting his first career home run in the fifth, and making a ludicrous catch in the seventh to start an inning-ending double play. But his newfound awesomeness failed him in the top of the ninth, alas, as Mariano Rivera compelled him to fly out weakly to Nick Swisher, leaving the potential game-tying run at second (Jose Molina doubled after an eight-pitch at bat -- what the H?).


In closing I would like to mention that I accidentally turned the game on to the Spanish feed, and you would not believe how excited the play-by-play guy was. I thought something truly astonishing must have happened, so I quickly switched things over to find out, and it turned out Bautista had made a nice throw to the plate to hold a runner at third. That's it. But you'd have thought he'd thrown three guys out and delivered a baby. It was wild.


KS