NATS (2-1) WORSE THAN MARLINS JUST NOW

 home opener - didn't 
 catch even a minutiae 
 because soooooo boring 

 but congratulations to 
 pretend Miami Marlins 

mathematically eliminated #22 the Miami Marlins

Remember a long time ago when the Marlins opened up that new stadium with the crazy psychedelic motif and had all those big free agents who came in, and it was ushering a new age of baseball in south Florida, where people were gonna love baseball, and the Marlins were gonna be so fucking awesome it was going to knock the Phillies and to a lesser extent the Braves off the NL East throne? Remember that? Yeah, a couple months ago was pretty cool.
Already nobody cares, further proving that the "build it and they will come" fleecing of investors (whether taxpayer dollars or just stupid regular investors) is bullshit. Here is a simple catchy phrase for you to remember for the rest of your life in regards to getting people to point their eyeballs (and wallets) at things: If shit sucks, no one gives a fuck.

Marlins 9, Blue Jays 0; Blue Jays 9, Red Sox 6: Et Tu, Henderson Alvarez?

lol seriously?

A 9-0 drubbing at the hands of the Marlins is obviously not great, but Jesse Chavez is not a dude who should really be pitching in the major leagues, and there he was starting, so what can you do? We do not have any guys. Further to that, young Henderson Alvarez left Monday night's game against the Red Sox with soreness in his elbow, making it I believe four starting pitchers pulled due to injury in the last two weeks. This is ridiculous, however, I have chosen to focus on the positive from last night: three dingers! Rasmus! Arencibia! Joseph Batts! Also I think it is kind of cool that the Blue Jays have signed 49-year-old Jamie Moyer who, honestly, could totally be a fit right now. In darker news, Adam Lind has been recalled after tearing it up in Triple A, but, I mean, he better have, and also it was Las Vegas. I don't know man. I do not know.


KS

Blue Jays 12, Marlins 4; Blue Jays 7, Marlins 1: lol the Marlins suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck right now

you're that is totally sad john buck back there

The scores here would suggest that these similar kinds of games, but really they weren't at all. Friday night, Ricky Romero continued to not pitch all that bossly, while Bautista et al. wilded out on that ridiculous(ly awesome) new ballpark in Miami. Today's game, despite the score, was a full-on pitcher's duel most of the way, featuring, for the Blue Jays' part, this new version of Brett Cecil who is not all that bad but about whom you cannot help but have continued concerns re: velocity. The game's duelishness outlasted the starters, and carried right into the ninth, where an E5 solo home run looked as though it might well be enough to win it but then the Marlins totally kicked it around literally balked and before you know it we are looking at a 7-1 fiasco after a Colby Rasmus grand slam rather than the 2-1 nailbiter it had seemed only moments ago. Also notable: Darren Oliver being his bad self throwing breaking balls for strikes even when he's behind because he can. 


KS