A long time ago - it might have been months at this point - I noticed that the new season of Game of Thrones would be debuting on March 31.
My first thought, (after "Thank GOD") was that it seemed like it would be around that time that baseball would be starting up again, and if history was any indication, that there might be the big Sunday Night kickoff game being played in Guam or the South of France or any other place that baseball might be looking to expand to.
As it turns out, I was right, and so overjoyed was I to see that two of my favorite things would be returning in perfect tandem, I found no other way to celebrate this joy than to make arbitrary comparisons between the two. So now, without further ado, I present Part One of our Opening Weekend series of baseball players as Game of Thrones characters!
R.A. Dickey is Nymeria
This blog is something of an St. Dickey lovefest, and bound to become even moreso, since he leaves my favorite team to join KS's, where this beautiful creature will get all of the non-sporadic game write-up attention that he deserves. I didn't even write anything when he won the Cy Young award, for heaven's sake.
Anyway, he has to depart the Mets after doing the raddest thing ever for them, much like Nymeria had no choice but to leave Arya after doing the raddest thing ever. Sure we would have loved to watch Dickey try to get another Cy Young in Queens, and seen Nymeria showered in the most luscious bones, but they both had to go for their own safety and well-being. And much like Dickey's departure brought Mets fans hope for the future with Travis D'Arnaud and Noah Syndergaard, so too did Nymeria's departure pay dividends way down the line.
Shane Victorino is King Joffrey Baratheon, First of His Name
Not gonna lie, this entire article is nothing more than an excuse to put these two pictures together. That being said, any adjective that you can use to describe Joffrey: cutthroat, ruthless, spoiled, entitled, inept, etc., you can apply twofold to Shane Victorino. As Joffrey is completely unworthy to rule a kingdom, we are equally surprised that they keep letting Shane Victorino play baseball, considering just how bad he is at it. Just peruse his resume and try to tell me he doesn't deserve to be slapped by Peter Dinklage once every season.
It's rumored, by some, that Twyin Lannister shits gold, and while that has been unconfirmed up until this point, there is no denying that he would do anything to advance his status, and the status of his family name. When he sees the opportunity to turn a battle in his favor by adding the tribes of the Vale to his ranks, he barely blinks when he finds out that the cost will be to send his son to the front lines with them.
When Loria opened Marlins Park, (mostly funded, as it turns out by Miami taxpayers whom Mayor Thomas Regaldo says were 'raped') he did so with a team assembled when he opened his giant coffers of gold from past firesales. By mid-season, he had traded Hanley Ramirez, and by winter, most of the other talent was gone, including Jose Reyes, Josh Johnson and Emilio Bonafacio. All Loria has left is his cursed, garish Harrenhal of a stadium, Giancarlo Stanton, and Placido Polanco hitting cleanup.
Rod Barajas is Hodor
Hodor.
(Special thanks to Bill Hanstock for reminding me that it was Rod Barajas).
(Special thanks to Bill Hanstock for reminding me that it was Rod Barajas).
if I have a concern here -- and that's a pretty big "if" -- it's that you have peaked too early with this piece and you will spend the rest of your life chasing it and always falling just short
ReplyDeleteKS
I want this to be the one they remember me for. I hope they have cracked tombstone gifs when I die, and if they have, I want the Shane Victorino/Joffrey comparison to play for eternity.
ReplyDeletewow. your blog is really good
ReplyDeleteBaseball is such an awesome game. Player's attempting to hit the flaring fastball, or the changeup or the split finger or who realizes what else. As much as we think baseball requires pace, quality and nimbleness you have to handle the psychological distraction of baseball.
ReplyDeleteIf you're a baseball player, you might be concerned that you won't be able to see properly if your sunglasses are tinted. But in fact, wearing baseball sunglasses could even improve your game! See more
ReplyDeleteIncidentally, I was correct, thus excited was I to see that two of my most loved things would return in immaculate coupled, I found no other approach to praise this satisfaction than to make self-assertive examinations between the two. So now, right away, I exhibit Part One of our Opening Weekend arrangement of baseball players as Game of Thrones characters!
ReplyDeleteIf you're a baseball player, you might be concerned that you won't be able to see properly if your sunglasses are tinted. But in fact, wearing baseball sunglasses could even improve your game!
ReplyDeleteThe game of Baseball is known as "America's Pastime," "America's Sport," "As American as Baseball, Apple Pie and Chevy." Have you ever asked yourself the question, why? Is baseball really America's game, or one of the most successful media and public relation coup to ever be pulled off?
ReplyDeleteHI Matt, Really enjoyed and loved reading this.Baseball is always been my best game and it will be
ReplyDeleteThe information from the original articles are helpful and nice, thank Posts
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