mathematically eliminated #14 the Chicago White Sox

And the crushing collapse of the White Sox is now complete, even though they won earlier in the night. The Tigers finishing off the Royals also finished off the White Sox 2012 season, and there is nothing to do but play their last two meaningless games on the road in Cleveland of all godforsaken places and wait to die.
Tonight actually the final four regular season eliminations could all happen but only the White Sox have gone down officially as of now. I had planned on mocking Obama's White Sox fandom but all the pics I found were kinda stupid, and also when you mock the Prez you run the risk of idiot people thinking that means you love you some Romney. Apparently we are so conditioned to an A or B mentality in America that we have given up even thinking there are grey scales. Perhaps that is why the 50 Shades of Grey book was foisted upon us all as a cultural thing, to force us to accept grey possibilities that involve horrible writing and shitty fetishes (though not literally "shitty" fetishes, as even in our morally decadent state, that's a no-no).
But seriously, fuck the White Sox. I am a Nats fan, but as a fan of awesomeness, there is no way on earth one could ever root against the combination of Prince Fielder and Miggy Cabrera. So fuck the White Sox.

White Sox 4, Blue Jays 2; White Sox 2, Blue Jays 0; Blue Jays 11, White Sox 9: Stumbling Towards The Break

yeah he's in there I guess

After the offense failed to support solid starts from both Aaron Laffey and Ricky Romero in the first two games of a weekend series against the apparently still active Chicago White Sox, the bats were out in force Sunday afternoon as the Blue Jays hung on to win the kind of four-hour shitshow that only ever seems to happen when it's crazy hot out. In truth the game came up a little short of four hours, but it had a languid pace that had Jerry Howarth and Alan Ashby nervous about their 8:40 flights home. Brett Cecil was terrible, and made a hash of a couple of pretty hefty leads he had been staked to, but whatever. That he gets anybody out with that junk he's been tossing ever since he lost all that velocity is a miracle, and so thank you for your service, Brett Cecil. 


And so here we sit at the All-Star Break: 43-43, tied in the AL East basement, 9.5 games behind a pretty impressive Yankees squad, but only 2.5 games out the Wild Card; our starting rotation basically does not exist; who knows what is up with Romero; but we can swing the bats a little; and Jose Bautista is going to hit fifty home runs. I don't know what to make of it, man. I feel so much more out of it than 2.5 games, but there's a lot of baseball left to play, and as I have proven many times over, I don't know anything about any of this.


Anybody watching the All-Star Game?


KS

White Sox 4, Blue Jays 3: Not Even Mad

long may you run

This is kind of like when it got so bad with E5 at third base that you couldn't even get upset when he'd sail one over Lind's head and into the crowd, or whatever, because absolutely everyone knew what E5 was, and yet he was still being misused. At that point the player is blameless in my view, and all ire is redirected towards the manager who insists on using a player in a particular way that all but ensures failure. This is what the Francisco Cordero situation has turned into. When he came into pitch the bottom of the ninth in a 3-3 tie, it was like, oh OK, a 4-3 walkoff loss, here it comes. It was totally worry free!


Also mitigating any potential minding on my part is the fact that Orlando Hudson -- yes, the O-Dog -- knocked in the winning run. I like that guy and always have. If you cannot find it within yourself to like a scrappy good-natured chatterbox of a second baseman, then you and I are very, very different people.  Hudson came up with the Blue Jays as a decent defensive second basemen and became quite a good one, actually, under the tutelage of the much-loved Brian "Butters" Butterfield, who, like Moneyball-era Ron Washington, has seen some shit. It's surprising the extent to which he's bounced around in his career, and here he is towards the end of it, playing third base, and a pretty awful third base last night, the kind of awful third base that doesn't turn up in the box score but that is juuuust awful both to the advanced metrics and to the naked eye, the kind that clearly costs runs. So good for him with the big hit and everything! 


I am unable to find any video of his lovably awkward in-stadium promo thing they used to run in Toronto for the O-Dog Combo, which featured Hudson on the big screen saying (way too quickly), "Checkoutconcession . . . fortheODogcombo . . . consistingof . . . ."  Alas, the rest is lost to history. Here however is a video of him talking nonstop, though, and again, if you do not like this, then I just don't know man, I just don't know.


KS

Blue Jays 4, White Sox 0: Brandon Morrow Throws a Two-Hitter for his League-Leading Third Complete-Game Shutout of The Year, No Big Deal

seriously, seriously: no big deal

And maybe he only walked a pair, and maybe Bautista and Rajai hit home runs, too, I don't know.


KS

Blue Jays 9, White Sox 5: You Got Lucky, Colby Rasmus

you've won this round, rasmus

You have no idea how ready I was to denounce Colby Rasmus for whiffing on another totally catchable ball in centre, but then he went 5-5 with a double and a home run, and the anger just melted away, man, that is all it took. The takeaway here is that I am not made of stone. Let it also be noted that while Ricky Romero is now 7-1, he is still not as bosslike as he or you or I would want and expect him to be, and I am not yet ready to say that it is troubling, but it isn't awesome. It isn't that. 


Anyway, how is this for a wacky lineup? E5 got the day off, and they went like this: Lawrie, Rasmus, Bautista, Johson, Escobar, Cooper, Arencibia, Vizquel, Davis. Weird!


KS