NATS (14-7) WORSE THAN PHILLIES FOUR DAYS AGO

 not just a sweep by 

 divisional rivals, but 

 painful, ugly sweep 

 last two games - six hits combined 

 for zero runs; still early though 

NATS (14-6) WORSE THAN PHILLIES FIVE DAYS AGO

 offensive goose eggs, 
 two measley ass hits the whole 
 game - the fuck is this? 

 Harper gonna be walking 
 more than prime-time Barry Bonds 

Fools Flail in Florida, Flounder Facing Fish: Giants Lose 2-1

Unable to hit base hits, Aubrey Huff resorts to droppin' 'bows.

Bases loaded? The Giants will get you out of that jam. Men on second and third, one out, infield back, tying run on third? Never fear, pals, the Giants are at the plate!

Matt Cain had one bad inning, and Giants pitching allowed two earned runs. Two! No climbing out of that chasm, no sir. This is a team that has angered the gods. Odin has stomped on them with his hobnailed boot, and Zeus has given them a big old blanket party.

So terrible. So unwatchable. See you all at 7:05 EST.

"Really Enjoying the Week Off," Claims Giants Offense

Hey Michael: you're bad and you should feel bad.

The 2011 Giants are doing their best impression of the 2009 Giants, but with more recognizable names. The good news is that they're doing so awfully so QUICKLY, as this game sped right along. I'm watching Aaron Rowand strike out on three pitches, I look up and see the Canadiens give up a goal, I look down and I'm watching Aaron Rowand strike out on FOUR pitches this time. Way to work the count, A-Row. Honestly, if you get a chance to watch Rowand in a Giants game this year, you'll see him swing and miss at a slider down and away on an 0-2 count. Also, he'll step in and ask the umpire to start him with two strikes, because he's just THAT DAMN GOOD. Just kidding, he's horrible. He's like Roger Cedeno in Major League, except substitute "slider" for "curveball" and substitute "funny, entertaining, and ultimately triumphant" with "Aaron Rowand."

Looking even worse than Rowand is Michael Tejada , who got a hit...after he whiffed on a pitch during a hit-and-run and got Cody Ross thrown out at second. Cody Ross was looking absolutely craptastic since coming off the DL, but today got two bloop singles and a walk, so whatever. Giants are reaching base all over the place (except Tejada and the suddenly-slumping Posey), but no one's bringing them home.

I guess the real good news is that Madison "Sadison Bummedgarner" Bumgarner looked great tonight, giving up one fluky run in six innings or whatever. The Giants offense is 0 for 16 with runners in scoring position thus far in Pittsburgh. That...that's not good. The 1-0 lead was starting to feel insurmountable even before the Pirates added an insurance run off the bullpen. The Giants lost today to a sub-par team and it wasn't nearly as close as the final 2-0 score would seem. The Giants start Ryan Vogelsong tomorrow as they go for the series win. It's not torture this season; it's just irritating.