NATS (30-21) BETTER THAN CARDINALS TWO DAYS AGO

 bionic Strasborg 

 now 9-0 this season; 

 Cardinals crushage! 

 which will last longer - Dusty's 

 orders or Strasborg's elbow? 

NATS (29-19) BETTER THAN CARDINALS

 Harper's been somewhat 
 homerless, but crushed third-deck 
 bomb sans batting gloves 

 youthful precocious swagger 
 helped kill bastard Cardinals 

NATS (17-7) BETTER THAN CARDINALS YESTERDAY

 Maximum Scherzer 
 back to maximized effect, 
 plus offense firing 

 after swept by Phillies, 
 Nats sweep godless Cardinals 

NATS RISE TO GLORY game fifteen

5-5 tie early on, plodding towards the end, then Cards get a pair in the last two innings to win 7-5. I hate the Cardinals, mostly because it feels like their fans are made up of two distinct groups - Bob Costas and the Ferguson Police Department. It's like the two-party system essentially, straight out the middle of America. One party is sanctimonious self-important know-it-all assholes, and the other party is xenophobic selfish racist assholes. Most good-hearted folks are not invited to either party. The Cardinals are essentially the most American set of baseball team fans you could have, so I guess it makes sense they'd win every game in DC being well you know what I'm saying. Or maybe you don't. Maybe you're one of them too. Fuck.
Nats are 7-8.