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| how could salami do this to me |
On the bright side, Myles Straw—whose walkup music is "Mr. Brightside," actually—pitched a one-two-three eighth on just ten pitches, effectively mixing speeds between thirty-nine and sixty-one miles per hour. Other than that, a pretty rough day! Shane Bieber seemed well enough in the earliest going, but after getting the first two outs unremarkably in the second, things went pear-shaped in a hurry: double, single (for a run), single, walk, Randy Arozarena grand slam (that's four more of them, sadly). Were there further dingers beyond that? A couple, sure, in the fullness of time, but let's not get bogged down. That Shane Bieber was able to go four innings despite the intensity of the shelling should be counted as a minor mercy for the bullpen, I think, as we only had to go Macko, Nance, and Fisher as the bridge to Myles Straw, whose season (and career!) earned-run average remains a sparkling 0.00 in two-and-a-third innings (good for 0.1 bWAR! [fWAR doesn't like him as much {it's probably "the walk"}: 0.0]). As for the Blue Jays bats, they were troubled, I think it fair to say, by the somewhat gigantic Logan Gilbert (and later by his somewhat gigantic friend Cole Wilcox, too), and managed just a lone baserunner in the whole entire game, when a little Yohendrick Pinango blooper blooped right in front of the speedy Victor Robles, who I totally expected to get there (it kind of looked like Logan Gilbert expected it too! awkward!). After a trouncing this thorough, it seems strange that we still have a chance to win the series Sunday (I was about to say "Sunday afternoon," which would be true enough in Seattle, but by the time first pitch comes around it will be after 6PM here, throwing my plans for Sunday afternoon chores into disarray, and worseness), but such is the nature of this our weird sport that we like.
In other news, the All-Star rosters are out! Ernie Clement had already been named the American League's starter at second base, so no news there, but joining him from the Blue Jays are Dylan Cease and Louis Varland, both of whom have been just excellent so far this season (as well you know), and, voted in as the starter at first base yet again, we have Vladimir Guerrero Jr., despite his struggles in recent months. It certainly isn't the first time a beloved star player has been selected to an All-Star team despite a poor first half, but it is for sure a notable instance of that phenomenon; it certainly isn't the first time a beloved star player has been selected an All-Star team only to politely pass, either, but it is for sure a notable instance of that, too. "Very grateful to everyone who voted for me," Hazel Mae reports Vladdy as having said minutes after the rosters were announced, "but at this time, very respectfully, I'm declining to go." Vladdy's back clearly isn't right, and even if it hasn't been enough to put him on the IL, it's been enough to have him missing games (which he famously otherwise does not do), and seems as likely an explanation for his troubles at the plate as any other. This seems the best possible outcome: Vladdy voted in, as he is our fav, but resting instead. Well, I guess the best possible outcome would be Vladdy being all set, and mashing endlessly, but I feel like this is entirely acceptable in a transitional sense.
KS
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