NATS (31-21) BETTER THAN PHILLIES YESTERDAY

 the fear of Harper 
 has given Daniel Murphy 
 chance to fucking shine 

 he's literally cleaning 
 up at the plate - winning, bro 

NATS (30-21) BETTER THAN CARDINALS TWO DAYS AGO

 bionic Strasborg 

 now 9-0 this season; 

 Cardinals crushage! 

 which will last longer - Dusty's 

 orders or Strasborg's elbow? 

NATS (29-21) WORSE THAN CARDINALS THREE DAYS AGO

 let's be real - there are 
 too many damned baseball games 
 in normal season 

 ultimately, all this shit 
 is meaningless when you're dead 

NATS (29-20) WORSE THAN CARDINALS TONIGHT

 fuckin' Max Scherzer 
 got waxed in the 3rd inning, 
 pretty much game done 

 dumbass people can turn hats 
 inside out - it don't matter 

NATS (29-19) BETTER THAN CARDINALS

 Harper's been somewhat 
 homerless, but crushed third-deck 
 bomb sans batting gloves 

 youthful precocious swagger 
 helped kill bastard Cardinals 

NATS (28-19) WORSE THAN METS EARLIER TODAY

 early afternoon 
 game early enough could've 
 watched at work online 

 but I forgot plus work was 
 worklike and shit; plus, Nats lost 

NATS (28-18) BETTER THAN METS LAST NIGHT

 interesting stat - 
 since June 23rd last 
 year, when Strasborg starts...

 Nats are 21 and 2; 
 that's solid as fucking fuck 

NATS (27-18) WORSE THAN METS LAST NIGHT

 Bartolo Colon 
 and Metropolitans got 
 measure of revenge 

 hard not to love Bartolo's 
 old abuelo-looking ass 

NATS (27-17) BETTER THAN MARLINS YESTERDAY

 by time Maximum 
 Scherzer gave up two runs in 
 7th, was up 6 

 Harper/Murphy as meat of 
 batting order could get wild 

NATS (26-17) WORSE THAN MARLINS TWO DAYS AGO

 post-finger blister 
 Joe Ross remains a "loss" cause - 
 eating innings though!

 ahh - stupid fucking baseball, 
 having people eat innings 

NATS (26-16) BETTER THAN MARLINS THREE DAYS AGO

 trip to Miami's 
 stadium monstrosity, 
 "psychedelic" place 

 baseball psychedelic's false, 
 always, unless Dock Ellis 

NATS (25-16) BETTER THAN METS LAST NIGHT

 at quarter mark - a 
 dominant performance at 
 division rival 

 these are the games which compose 
 great seasons, but we need more 

NATS (24-16) BETTER THAN METS LAST NIGHT

 Gio Gonzales 
 has grown lustrous shaggy mop - 
 perfect pitcher's hair 

 Bartolo Colon is what... 
 a thousand years old? Nats win! 

NATS (23-16) WORSE THAN METS TWO DAYS AGO

 Maximum Scherzer 
 outdueled in divisional 
 rival pitching duel 

 if I've not mentioned how much 
 I hate the Mets - I hate them 

NATS (23-15) WORSE THAN MARLINS FOUR DAYS AGO

 how the fuck is Nats 
 gonna split home series in 
 half with damn Marlins? 

 I know it's a marathon 
 not a sprint, but I don't know 

NATS (23-14) WORSE THAN MARLINS FIVE DAYS AGO

 Bryce Harper quickly 
 dropped single-game suspension 
 appeal, sat one out 

 night cap throwaway to May 
 double-header, without star 

NATS (23-13) BETTER THAN MARLINS FIVE DAYS AGO

 old-timey day/night 
 double-header - early game 
 with lots of scoring 

 that's the only way to keep 
 people awake for both games 

NATS (22-13) BETTER THAN MARLINS TONIGHT

 seems like Bryce Harper 
 has been quieter, other 
 than that ejection 

 he yanked game-winning homer 
 though, angrily fired back up 

NATS (21-13) BETTER THAN TIGERS TONIGHT

 writing thirty-one 
 syllables times one hundred 
 and sixty-two games 

 that's just over five thousand 
 idiotic syllables 

NATS (20-13) WORSE THAN TIGERS TONIGHT

 WHAT HAS GONE WRONG WITH 
 JOE ROSS, EARLY FAVORITE 
 TO THIS DUMB SEASON? 

 POST-BLISTER, HE HAS REALLY 
 STRUGGLED! (also, Strasborg's rich) 

NATS (20-12) BETTER THAN TIGERS LAST NIGHT

 after 4-game sweep, 

 Clint Robinson's (who?) walk-off 

 homer was needed 

 and yet, the Nats find themselves 

 second in the division 

NATS (19-12) WORSE THAN CUBS 2 DAYS AGO

 13th inning loss 
 completes competitive 
 but painful sweep 

 on the plus though, offense smashed
 ace Arrieta off in 5 

NATS (19-11) WORSE THAN CUBS 3 DAYS AGO

 I was in Maine, tuned 
 out from digital affairs, 
 so *missed* whole series 

 baseball so slow and boring 
 you can easily miss months 

NATS (19-10) WORSE THAN CUBS 4 DAYS AGO

 pitchers duel betwixt 
 Maximum Scherzer and John 
 Lackey was promised 

 Maximum Scherzer shaky 
 as fuck though - should we worry? 

NATS (19-9) WORSE THAN CUBS 5 DAYS AGO

 Joe Ross held these Cubs 

 to only 2 runs over 

 near 7 innings 

 bullpen added 3, offense 

 got 2; Joe Ross's first loss 

NATS (19-8) BETTER THAN ROYALS SIX DAYS AGO

 offense had given 
 13 runs before Strasborg 
 retired to dugout 

 who the fuck ain't gonna win 
 a rubber stamp game like that? 

NATS (18-8) WORSE THAN ROYALS A WEEK AGO

 Jonny Papelbon 
 faced seven batters for save, 
 gave up three runs, lost 

 walk off road losses might hurt, 
 but shitty humans hurt worse 

NATS (18-7) BETTER THAN ROYALS TONIGHT

 Edinson Volquez 
 (of flat brim fame) reunites 
 with Dusty Baker 

 Gio kept it scattered but 
 smothered, two-run 1st - Nats win 

NATS (17-7) BETTER THAN CARDINALS YESTERDAY

 Maximum Scherzer 
 back to maximized effect, 
 plus offense firing 

 after swept by Phillies, 
 Nats sweep godless Cardinals 

NATS (16-7) BETTER THAN CARDINALS TWO DAYS AGO

 Joe Ross's blister 
 seems to have subsided, so 
 Nats dominated 

 has this Joe Ross dude become 
 defacto Nats spinal cord? 

NATS (15-7) BETTER THAN CARDINALS THREE DAYS AGO

 after shakey 1st, 
 Strasborg finagled his way 
 through seven innings 

 scrappy road win powered by 
 4-run 4th to end April 

NATS (14-7) WORSE THAN PHILLIES FOUR DAYS AGO

 not just a sweep by 

 divisional rivals, but 

 painful, ugly sweep 

 last two games - six hits combined 

 for zero runs; still early though 

NATS (14-6) WORSE THAN PHILLIES FIVE DAYS AGO

 offensive goose eggs, 
 two measley ass hits the whole 
 game - the fuck is this? 

 Harper gonna be walking 
 more than prime-time Barry Bonds 

NATS (14-5) WORSE THAN PHILLIES SIX DAYS AGO

 Maximum Scherzer 
 had minimal first inning, 
 never overcame 

 who cares though, since the Flyers 
 caught Stanely Cup piledrivers?